Mutual Rights - Good Companionship - III

One day, the Prophet told'Aa'ishah the lengthy Hadeeth of Umm Zar',
which was narrated by Muslim and was explained by some scholars in
volumes due to its enormous pearls of wisdom and meanings. After the
Prophet told'Aa'ishah how Abu Zar' treated his wife Umm Zar', the
Prophet said: "I am to you likeAbu Zar' to Umm Zar'." He meant by this
that he was perfectin good companionship and intimacy, just like Abu
Zar' was with Umm Zar'.
In happy and cheerful moments, the Prophet brought happiness and cheer
to his family. It was authentically narrated that on the day of 'Eed
the Abyssinian boys arrived and played with spears in the mosque. Just
look at the perfect Sharee'ah of Islam and its sublime mission! On
that day of'Eed which is characterized by happiness, the souls need a
type of peace and affinity to remove the state of apathy and
weariness. On that day, the Abyssinians entered the mosque of the
Prophet and paraded with their spears. Just look where the parade was
held; it was held in the second most sacred House of Allaah, the
Mosque of the Prophet !
The mosque was taken as a placewhere people played with spears on the
day of 'Eed because it was a merry occasion. Islam is a religion of
perfection that gives everything its due right and estimation.'
Aa'ishah wantedto feel happy on that day. She wanted to watch the
Ethiopians parading with their spears. She asked the Prophet to let
her see the parade, so how did the Prophet reply to her? Did he tell
her that she was immature or that she was wasting her time? Did he
start reminding her that Paradise and Hell were approaching? No. The
Prophet stood up on his noble feet to allow her to watch the
Ethiopians, not for the purpose ofwatching for its own sake, but
because he knew that this standing would please Allaah TheAlmighty.
The Prophet who was the cream and most perfect of creation, kept
standing to please Allaah without the least feeling of blemish or
belittlement, because he felt that he was bringing affection, love and
happiness to his family and translating his true love and perfect
marriage by his standing. For that reason, the Prophet was the best
husband to his wife,and his behavior represents the perfect and best
guidance for theMuslim who wants to live equitably with his wife.
His wife would prepare his food and drink, and when he gathered with
his family, belovedpersons and wife under one roof,he would not say
unpleasant words to her. If he found the food delicious, he would
praise and appreciate it and thank the one who prepared it after
thanking Allaah The Almighty. If he found fault with it, he would not
dispraise or criticize it,nor would he dispraise the one who cooked
it.
Living equitably requires sacrifice,true love and mutual emotions that
indicate perfection in marriage and intimacy. Therefore, the guidance
of the Prophet is the most perfect guidance.
It was authentically narrated that'Aa'ishah said that she wouldbring
broth or milk to the Prophet and though he was the one who requested
it, he would insist that she drink before him. 'Aa'ishah was a noble
woman and daughter of a noble man, so she did not accept drinking
before the Messenger of Allaah and preserved his right. When she gave
him the drink, he would ask her to drink first, and when she
refused,he would insist by taking an oath that she would drink first.
As a result, she would take the container and drink and after that the
Prophet would put his mouth in the same spot that her mouth had been.
The Prophet did not do so without reason;rather, he wanted to let her
know her value and to show her his love and affection. That is because
just as the Prophet sought closeness to his Lord through prostration
and bowing to Him, he also sought closeness to Him through comforting
his wife's heart, bringing her happiness and making her cheerful. The
Prophet sought closeness to Allaah byteaching the Ummah (Muslim
nation) perfect manners and the best ways of treating families and
wives.
These are very important mattersthat a Muslim should pay attention to.
Sometimes the wife needs to feel happy in her home, so if the Muslim
wants to make her so he should adopt the guidance of the Prophet .
Sometimes she wants to feel happy outside the house, so we find that
the Prophet would go out with his wife to Qubaa' and race her. The
Prophet andhis wife started running, and she would beat him. Later,
when she gained weight, the Prophet raced her again and this time he
beat her, saying: "Tit for tat." All these things represent love and
kind treatment in lifestyle.
Whenever man looks at, reflects upon or studies well the guidance of
the Prophet he will surely find good companionship in its perfect
manner and best form, since he was the most perfect man in living
equitably with his family. Muslim homes will never be happy until
these warm emotions are observed. Look at the man who treats his wife
withthese true feelings and emotions and how Allaah blesses his
familyand wife. He surely leads a happy and serene life, since whoever
fears Allaah, carries out His orders and lives in kindness with his
wife, Allaah rewards him by granting them a happy life and good
companionship. The same thing applies to the woman who fears Allaah
and lives in kindness with her husband. They will only hear and see
what makes them happy. Therefore, a Muslim should abide by the Quran
and the Sunnah of the Prophet in fulfilling this great duty.
There is another very important point that we should consider, namely,
the lack of reward for not reciprocating good companionship. In other
words, it is very difficult for the husband to show affection, mercy
and kindness to his wife while the wife in return shows misbehavior,
harm, contempt or disobedience. Similarly, it is very difficult for
the wife to show warm emotions, kind feelings and good manners to her
husband, while he in return treats her with painful, harsh andhurtful
sentiments that devastateher. So, what should Muslim spouses do?
Some scholars have said that the greatest and most perfect reward for
good companionship takes place when the husband who observes good
companionship with his wife is mistreated, or when the wife who
observes good companionship with her husbandis mistreated. This is the
truest form of good companionship. One day, a man said, "O Messenger
of Allaah, I maintain kinship ties with my relatives, butthey sever
them; I give them, but they deprive me; and I pardon them, but they
are rough to me."The Prophet said: "If you are as you say, it is as if
you are feeding them hot ashes." [Muslim] This means that the man was
the winner as he had gained the reward. Allaah who does not allow the
reward of those who do good deeds to go astray.
Spouses who treat one another kindly are expecting a good reward and a
happy end from Allaah The Almighty. A husband should not wait for a
reward from his wife; he should wait for that from Allaah The
Almighty. Every Muslim who wishes to possess good and perfect manners
should not hope for reward from other people; rather, he should always
be watchful of Allaah and abide by His Laws, not to have his goodness
or kindness rewarded with a similar attitude, but to gain appreciation
from Allaah who is above the seven heavens. He should do so in order
to find his kind words, manners and good treatment written in the
record of his good deeds on a Daywhen the contents of the graves will
be scattered and that which is within the breasts exposed. If the man
adopts good manners and proves to be a kind husband while his wife is
evil and harms him, he should be patient. Perhaps Allaah will
compensate him with something better.
Talking about Zakariyya (Zachariah) Allaah Says (whatmeans): {And
amended for him his wife.} [Quran 21:90] Some scholars commented on
this verse saying that when Allaah tested Zakariyya by deprivinghim of
offspring, he earnestly turned to Allaah in supplication. Allaah Says
(what means): {[This is] a mention of the mercy of your Lord to His
servant Zechariah. When he called to his Lord a private supplication.
He said, "My Lord, indeed my bones have weakened, and my head
hasfilled with white, and never have I been in my supplication to You,
my Lord, unhappy. And indeed, I fear the successors after me, and my
wife has been barren, so give me from Yourself an heir."} [Quran
19:2-5]
Prophet Zakariyya supplicated to Allaah at the age of one hundred and
twenty without despair of His Mercy. He supplicated to Allaah at the
end of his life to grant him a child, and Allaah fulfilled his need
and more out of His Bounty. It always happens that when a person
supplicates Allaah with certainty in troubles and hardships, Allaah
answers his supplication and grants him even more than what he asked
for. Thus, Allaah says (what means): {And amended for him his wife.}
[Quran 21:90] Allaahgranted him Yahya (John) and amended his wife.
Some scholars said that his wife would insult and harm him and that
shewas ill-mannered and harsh with him; yet, he remained patient with
her until the end of his life. Accordingly, Allaah compensated him by
granting him a child and making his wife religiously observant who
lived equitably with him.
Hence, if the man lives equitably with his wife and finds good in her,
he should praise Allaah The Almighty; otherwise, he should be patient,
fully believing that Allaah does not allow the reward of the person
who does good deeds to go astray. This also applies to wives whose
good companionship is returned with ill-treatment by their husbands.
She should expect that Allaah would compensate her for her patience
and comfort her pains, and compensate her in her religion, life and
the Hereafter.

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And Allah Knows the Best!

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Published by :->
M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA

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