"GENERAL ARTICLES"
"BISMILLA HIRRAHMAAN NIRRAHEEM"
WELCOME! - AS'SALAMU ALAIKUM!! ******** ***** *****
[All] praise is [due] to Allah, Lord of the worlds; - Guide us to the straight path
*- -*
* * In this Blog; More Than Ten Thousand(10,000) {Masha Allah} - Most Usefull Articles!, In Various Topics!! :- Read And All Articles & Get Benifite! * Visit :-
*- WHAT ISLAM SAYS -* - Islam is a religion of Mercy, Peace and Blessing. Its teachings emphasize kind hear tedness, help, sympathy, forgiveness, sacrifice, love and care.Qur’an, the Shari’ah and the life of our beloved Prophet (SAW) mirrors this attribute, and it should be reflected in the conduct of a Momin.Islam appreciates those who are kind to their fellow being,and dislikes them who are hard hearted, curt, and hypocrite.Recall that historical moment, when Prophet (SAW) entered Makkah as a conqueror. There was before him a multitude of surrendered enemies, former oppressors and persecutors, who had evicted the Muslims from their homes, deprived them of their belongings, humiliated and intimidated Prophet (SAW) hatched schemes for his murder and tortured and killed his companions. But Prophet (SAW) displayed his usual magnanimity, generosity, and kind heartedness by forgiving all of them and declaring general amnesty...Subhanallah. May Allah help us tailor our life according to the teachings of Islam. (Aameen)./-
"INDIA "- Time in New Delhi -
''HASBUNALLAHU WA NI'MAL WAKEEL'' - ''Allah is Sufficient for us'' + '' All praise is due to Allah. May peace and blessings beupon the Messenger, his household and companions '' (Aameen)
NAJIMUDEEN M
Dua' from Al'Qur'an - for SUCCESS in 'both the worlds': '' Our Lord ! grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter and save us from the torment of the Fire '' [Ameen] - {in Arab} :-> Rabbanaa aatinaa fid-dunyaa hasanatan wafil aakhirati hasanatan waqinaa 'athaaban-naar/- (Surah Al-Baqarah ,verse 201)*--*~
Category - *- About me -* A note for me *-* Aa My Public Album*-* Acts of Worship*-* Ahlesunnat Wal Jamat*-* Asmaul husna*-* Belief in the Last Day*-* Between man and wife*-* Bible and Quran*-* Bioghraphy*-* Commentary on Hadeeth*-* Conditions of Marriage*-* Da'eef (weak) hadeeths*-* Darwinism*-* Dating in Islam*-* Description of the Prayer*-* Diary of mine*-* Discover Islam*-* Dought & clear*-* Duas*-* Eid Prayer*-* Engagment*-* Family*-* Family & Society*-* family Articles*-* Family Issues*-* Fasting*-* Fathwa*-* Fiqh*-* For children*-* Gender differences*-* General*-* General Dought & clear*-* General hadeeths*-* General History*-* Hadees*-* Hajj*-* Hajj & Umrah*-* Hazrat Mahdi (pbuh)*-* Health*-* Health and Fitness*-* Highlights*-* Hijaab*-* Holiday Prayer*-* I'tikaaf*-* Imp of Islamic Months*-* Innovations in Religion and Worship*-* Islamic Article*-* Islamic History*-* Islamic history and biography*-* Islamic Months*-* Islamic story*-* Issues of fasting*-* Jannah: Heaven*-* jokes*-* Just know this*-* Kind Treatment of Spouses*-* Links*-* Making Up Missed Prayers*-* Manners of Greeting with Salaam*-* Marital Life*-* Marriage in Islam*-* Menstruation and Post-Natal bleeding*-* Miracles of Quran*-* Moral stories*-* Names and Attributes of Allaah*-* Never Forget*-* News*-* Night Prayer*-* Notes*-* Other*-* Personal*-* Personalities*-* Pilgrimage*-* Plural marriage*-* Prayer*-* Prayers on various occasions*-* Principles of Fiqh*-* Qanoon e Shariat*-* Qur'an*-* Qur'an Related*-* Quraanic Exegesis*-* Ramadan Articles*-* Ramadan File*-* Ramadhan ul Mubarak*-* Sacrifices*-* Saheeh (sound) hadeeths*-* Schools of Thought and Sects*-* Seerah of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)*-* Sex in Islam*-* Sharia and Islam*-* Shirk and its different forms*-* Sms, jokes, tips*-* Social Concerns*-* Soul Purification*-* Story*-* Sufi - sufi path*-* Supplication*-* Taraaweeh prayers*-* The book of Prayer*-* Tips & Tricks*-* Tourist Place*-* Trust (amaanah) in Islam*-* Welcome to Islam*-* Women in Ramadaan*-* Women site*-* Women Who are Forbidden for Marriage*-* Womens Work*-* Youth*-* Zakath*-*
*- Our Nabi' (s.a.w) Most Like this Dua' -*
"Allahumma Salli'Alaa Muhammadin Wa 'Alaa'Aali Muhammadin, kamaa Sallayta 'Alaa' Ibraheema wa 'Alaa 'Aali 'Ibraheema, 'Innaka Hameedun Majeed. Allahumma Baarik'Alaa Muhammadin Wa 'Alaa'Aali Muhammadin, kamaa Baarakta 'Alaa' Ibraheema wa 'Alaa 'Aali 'Ibraheema, 'Innaka Hameedun Majeed." ******
"Al Qur'an - first Ayath, came to our Nabi (s.a.w)
"Read! In the name of yourLord Who created. Created man from clinging cells. Read! And your Lord is Most Bountiful. The One Who taught with the Pen. Taught man what he did not know." (Qur'an 96: 1-5) - ~ - ~ - lt;18.may.2012/friday-6.12pm:{IST} ;(Ayatul Kursi Surah Al-Baqarah, Ayah 255/)
*- Al Qur'an's last ayath came to Nabi{s.a.w} -*
Allah states the following: “Thisday have I perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion.” [Qur’an 5:3]
Surat alAhzab 40; Says Our Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) is the final Prophet sent by Allah'
↓TRANSLATE THIS BLOG↓
IndonesiaArabicChinaEnglishSpanishFrenchItalianJapanKoreanHindiRussian
ShareShare

Follow Me

* A Precious DUA' *
Dua' - '' All praise is due to Allah'. May peace and blessings beupon the Messenger, his household and companions '' - - - O Allah, I am Your servant, son of Your servant, son of Your maidservant; my forelock is in Your hand; Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just; I ask You by every name belonging to You that You have named Yourself with, or revealed in Your book, ortaught to any of Your creation, or have preserved in the knowledge of the unseen with You, that You make the Qur'an thelife of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release from my anxiety.
- Tamil -- Urdu -- Kannada -- Telugu --*- ShareShare
**
ShareShare - -*-
tandapanahkebawah.gifbabby-gif-240-240-0-24000.giftandapanahkebawah.gif400692269-4317571d76.jpeg wall-paper.gif story.gif
*: ::->
*

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Engagment, - Dought & clear, - * She rejected his proposal; should he try again?
















After putting my trust in Allaah and seeking His help and praying istkhaarah, I proposed marriage to a girl but was refused because this girl is studying. Please note that I am attracted to her and I am always thinking of her. I felt more attracted to her after praying istikhaarah, because I felt at peace. My mother says that we will try to approach her again, but I am hesitant because I feel that proposing to her again will be embarrassing for my family. Should I propose to her or not? I hope that you – after Allaah – can help me find a solution.
-
Praise be to Allaah.
If the girl is religiously-committed and of good character, there is nothing wrong with trying again. If that can be done via some intermediaries, that is better, so as to avoid embarrassment to your family. But in fact we do not advise you to do that at present. If her studies are going to end soon and you can wait for that amount of time, then the intermediary can explain that, unless there is some other reason for the refusal which they did not explain.
Whatever the case, you should delegate the matter to Allaah, for no one knows what is good for him. Stop thinking and feeling attracted to her, and ask Allaah to show you what is good wherever it is. Open your mind to accepting both possibilities. If they agree, then hope that this is good and will help you in obeying Allaah, and if they refuse, then perhaps Allaah has diverted from you or from her something that would not be good, and has prepared for both of you that which is better for you.
“and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allaah knows but you do not know”
[al-Baqarah 2:216]
The believer has enough concerns, aims and deeds that should divert him from feeling attached to a girl, no matter who she is. We ask Allaah to distract us and you with acts of obedience to Him.
And Allaah knows best.




















PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI

Engagment, - Dought & clear, - * She rejected his proposal; should he try again?

After putting my trust in Allaah and seeking His help and praying
istkhaarah, I proposed marriage to a girl but was refused because this
girl is studying. Please note that I am attracted to her and I am
always thinking of her. I felt more attracted to her after praying
istikhaarah, because I felt at peace. My mother says that we will try
to approach her again, but I am hesitant because I feel that proposing
to her again will be embarrassing for my family. Should I propose to
her or not? I hope that you – after Allaah – can help me find a
solution.
-
Praise be to Allaah.
If the girl is religiously-committed and of good character, there is
nothing wrong with trying again. If that can be done via some
intermediaries, that is better, so as to avoid embarrassment to your
family. But in fact we do not advise you to do that at present. If her
studies are going to end soon and you can wait for that amount of
time, then the intermediary can explain that, unless there is some
other reason for the refusal which they did not explain.
Whatever the case, you should delegate the matter to Allaah, for no
one knows what is good for him. Stop thinking and feeling attracted to
her, and ask Allaah to show you what is good wherever it is. Open your
mind to accepting both possibilities. If they agree, then hope that
this is good and will help you in obeying Allaah, and if they refuse,
then perhaps Allaah has diverted from you or from her something that
would not be good, and has prepared for both of you that which is
better for you.
"and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that
you like a thing which is bad for you. Allaah knows but you do not
know"
[al-Baqarah 2:216]
The believer has enough concerns, aims and deeds that should divert
him from feeling attached to a girl, no matter who she is. We ask
Allaah to distract us and you with acts of obedience to Him.
And Allaah knows best.

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Engagment, - Dought & clear, - * She got to know him on the internet and he proposed marriage to her but they are not getting along














I have been working for two years far away from my family (during which I suffered from being away from my family and working too hard, and my outlook on life was affected greatly). Now I am working in a village that is about 150 km from my town, i.e., it takes an hour and a half to get there and an hour and a half to get back. My life revolves around my family, study and work. I have no friends and I only visit my relatives and acquaintances rarely. I hardly ever go out of the house except for necessities, or to take a trip with my family, or to go to work or to attend some courses. Sometimes I go to a health club with my mother (for health reasons and to keep fit). I grew up in a family that is decent and fairly religiously committed; we pray regularly and do what Allaah has enjoined upon us. Because of my work, and being away from my family, and my position among my siblings (I am the eldest), I got used to being independent and self-reliant, and to having others respect my opinion. My parents are the closest friends I have, and I do not hide any of my secrets from them. I got to know the internet in 1422 AH, and I looked at many websites, with the aim of improving my English and developing a way of teaching it. I looked for different sites that had to do with women, the family and married life. Six months ago whilst I was on a website for practising English, I got a private message from someone who want to talk to me about some issues that had to do with teaching English and the difficulties faced with female students, especially since he was a graduate from the English language college. He was looking for work and he is two years younger than me. After two or three exchanges on this website and via brief e-mails, he asked me some personal questions such as how old I am, where I live and the customs of my family. Finally he told me that he wanted to propose marriage to me, so I gave him my father’s phone number, simply to find out if he was being honest. In fact he called my father and about two weeks later he and his family visited us. At first our families were hesitant, especially since they were concerned about the way we had got to know each other, and because of our customs and traditions and the differences in customs and traditions (as I am from an ordinary family and he is from high-status family). After a few visits from his family and discussions with my family, he and I were able to make them accept this matter. Praise be to Allaah, my fiancé has been appointed in a village that is close to his city, and soon he will get approval from the bank for a muraabahah loan so that he can complete the plans for our wedding. After we had been engaged for a while, we began to speak on the phone (I know that we did wrong on this point, especially since the marriage contract had not yet been done) and through these conversations we got to know one another better, and I noticed a few things about him: some positive things (he prays regularly) which encouraged me to go ahead and marry him, especially since I had refused some people before him for one reason, which was that they did not pray or were careless about it; he is religiously committed and does not listen to music; he does not smoke cigarettes or the narghile, which also encouraged me because I had refused people before him for one reason, which was that they smoked; he is good natured and uncomplicated; we have a great deal in common and hold similar views on various issues; we are both teachers; we both work; we have similar hopes for the future with regard to the family, children and continuing to study.
On the negative side, I feel that his religious commitment does not stem so much from conviction but from his upbringing and his family’s traditions. He wants to impose some things on me, not because they are part of Islam so much as for social appearances, so that he will appear to be a religious person who is strict; the way he and his family look at me and my family – they think that we are not religiously committed and are not modest enough, and that our womenfolk are dominant and controlling and direct the men according to their whims, although I think that most men in the world do what their wives want even if they show the opposite. They regard us as being of an inferior lineage to them, and one of the hardest things in a marriage is if one party looks down on the other or does not think that the other is able to fulfil the duties of married life. He wants me to devote myself and my life fully to him and his children, and to stop working and forget myself completely and give up all my dreams of completing my studies, improving my work performance or doing any other activities, or even going to the health club. If I exercise that will be a favour from him because the time that I spend on these things belongs rightfully to him and his children!
I am not against marriage or taking care of the children or serving the husband, but I believe that it is the wife’s right to have her own interests and privacy.
He thinks that housework is one of my duties, and if I employ a servant it must be at my own expense, because she will be doing my job. He objected strongly to my father’s condition of providing a servant in the marriage contract, and he thinks that this will make him look bad in front of his family, and that my conditions are impossible to fulfil. Don’t the daughters of the tribes and high-status families have difficult conditions or demands too? Please note that my family only stipulated that because they feared I might face problems that happen to working wives with their husbands because of having servants, and because the men in our society forget that housework is the husband’s responsibility according to Islam, and he is free either to do it himself or bring servants; if his wife does it, it is a favour on her part. Please note that I do not like to have a servant in the house, and with a little cooperation between the spouses and children, and using machines, and using external sources of help such as sending the clothes to the laundry and putting the children in daycare when one is at work, one can do away with the need for a servant and avoid the evils and problems that servants may bring. Men nowadays are no better than the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who served his family and did housework.
He wants me to stop listening to music and not watch movies and soap operas, and not to wear pants, and to wear the abayah that comes down from the head, even though I have told him about my opinion on these matters. As for music, I am not bothered about it and I will give it up at the first opportunity. As for watching films and soap operas, I do not think it is haraam, and with regard to studying English it is a means of practising listening to the English language. As for soap operas, I only watch those that serve a purpose and are useful. With regard to wearing pants, I told him that I am a smart person and I know how to dress according to the time and occasion and the people I am going to meet. When I am at school and there are official visits, or I visit people I do not know, I do not wear pants, but I like to wear them on days off or trips out, because they are more covering for me as I move a lot. With regard to the abayah that comes from the head, I do not wear it because there is basically no specific way for Muslim women to wear hijab, and based on my experience I have found that it does not suit me. The abayah that comes from the shoulders and is closed in front, with a lose headscarf and a cover for the face is better for me and more covering, especially if I am carrying things or carrying children, or I am walking a long way. He thinks that all the places I go on trips to with my family (markets, trips to the seaside, leisure centres, even the corniche) are places of mixing and he cannot take me there. I have tried to understand his protective jealousy, but to be honest I am afraid that he is going to keep me locked up in the house, and I will only go out to visit family and relatives which I do not like very much, especially because of the gossip, destructive envy and grudges that happen among women. He says that I do not know how to communicate with him, and my approach is dry and I often offend him. I hope that you can teach me, because I have doubts about my abilities and I feel deep regret when I see that he is hurt by me.
- * -
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
When we answer questions, we usually draw attention to mistakes from a shar’i point of view that appear in the questions, some of which may have to do with the question itself and others that do not. But it is very important for us to highlight to the questioner what he has got right, so that we will be fulfilling our duty to offer sincere advice (naseehah) as Allaah has enjoined upon us.
Secondly:
We may sum up the things that are contrary to sharee’ah in the question, whether they have to do with the wife or the husband, as follows:
1. Travelling without a mahram.
We understand this from what the sister says in her question: “Now I am working in a village that is about 150 km from my town, i.e., it takes an hour and a half to get there and an hour and a half to get back.”
If this is the case, and there is no mahram travelling with her, then she should note that “It is not permissible for a woman who believes in Allaah and the Last Day to travel without a mahram.” It is not sufficient to have a group of women – as some scholars think – for a woman to travel without a mahram; each woman in the group must have a mahram with her.
For more information on this subject, please see the answers to questions no. 3098, 69337, 45917and 4523.
2. Corresponding with a stranger (non-mahram) via the internet
This is what has happened between you and a man who is a non-mahram. Although this non-mahram has proposed marriage to you, there are thousands who have not done so with the women whom they have caught in their traps. The marriages that are built on such foundations may be susceptible to doubt, suspicion and accusations, and the marriage may be doomed to failure.
We have discussed the prohibition on correspondence between the sexes in the answer to questions no. 26890and 10221.
3. It may be understood from the word muraabahah that there is a riba-based loan involved.
This is when you say of your fiancé, “soon he will get approval from the bank for a muraabahah loan so that he can complete the plans for our wedding.”
The fact that most people call this transaction a loan is calling it by its proper name; the banks try to trick people by calling it muraabahah, when it fact it is a riba-based loan that involves interest.
For more details on this issue please see the answer to question no. 36408.
4. Talking to one another during the engagement period.
You said in your question, “After we had been engaged for a while, we began to speak on the phone (I know that we did wrong on this point, especially since the marriage contract had not yet been done).”
It is essential to avoid being alone with one’s fiancée, or going out with her, or mixing too much with her and talking to her, especially on the phone, and when there is no mahram or other person present.
See the answers to questions no. 7757, 2572and 20069for the limits on the relationship between a man and his fiancée.
5. Conditions in marriage
You say “Don’t the daughters of the tribes and high-status families have difficult conditions or demands too?”
The answer is: No, not necessarily, because stipulating difficult things for the husband is something that complicates married life, because it may go beyond what the husband can afford, and that will have a negative effect on his psychology and his life, and on how he interacts with his wife and her family.
Moreover, stipulating difficult things and making demands on the husband is not indicative of sound reason or high status. Faatimah (may Allaah be pleased with her) was one of the noblest women in the world, and the daughter of the leader of the Messengers, and she did not impose any difficult conditions on her husband, or make many demands of him. The same may be said of all the daughters of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and the daughters of his companions who were of noble descent, religiously committed and wise.
It was narrated that ‘Ali (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) gave Faatimah a trousseau of a piece of velvet cloth, a waterskin, and a leather pillow stuffed with idhkhir fibres.
Narrated by Ahmad (644) and al-Nasaa'i (3384); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani.
There are reports in the Sunnah which point to the opposite of what you think, which is encouragement to make things easy when getting engaged and keep down the cost of marriage:
It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “One of the good signs in a woman is if her engagement is made easy and her dowry is made easy.”
Narrated by Ahmad (23957) and classed as hasan by al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Jaami’(2235).
6. Wife serving her husband
You say “the men in our society forget that housework is the husband’s responsibility according to Islam, and he is free either to do it himself or bring servants; if his wife does it, it is a favour on her part.”
Although this is the view of the majority, it is a weak view. A woman’s service in her home is not a favour on her part, rather it is undoubtedly her duty, but it is to be done according to her ability and strength.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
She is obliged to serve her husband based on what a woman like her customarily does for a man like him, which may vary according to circumstances. What a Bedouin woman does is not like what a town-dwelling woman does, and what a strong woman does is not like what a weak woman does.
Al-Fataawa al-Kubra(4/561).
Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Jibreen (may Allaah preserve him) was asked:
I read in one of the newspapers here a fatwa by one of the scholars which says that a wife’s serving her husband is not obligatory upon her, rather the marriage contract allows him to be intimate with her only. As for her serving him, that is part of kind treatment. He said that the husband has to bring servants for his wife if she does not serve him or serve herself for any reason. Is this correct? If it is not correct, then praise be to Allaah that this newspaper is not widely circulated, otherwise some husbands would become like bachelors when some of their wives read this fatwa.
He replied:
This fatwa is not correct and should not be followed. The women of the Sahaabah used to serve their husbands as Asma’ bint Abi Bakr narrated that she served (her husband) al-Zubayr ibn al-‘Awwaam, and Fatimah al-Zahra’ used to serve ‘Ali (may Allaah be pleased with them). It has remained the custom of the Muslims that the wife serves her husband, preparing food, washing clothes and dishes, and cleaning the house, as well as tending and milking livestock, working the fields and so on, each according to her abilities. This has been the custom from the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) until the present day, with no objections. But she should not be burdened with that which will cause hardship, rather it depends on her abilities and what is customary. And Allaah is the Source of strength.
Fataawa al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah(2/662, 663).
See also the answers to question no. 12539and 10680.
7. Ruling on soap operas and watching movies
You say “As for watching films and soap operas, I do not think it is haraam”. This is undoubtedly wrong. Films include many evils such as women going out unveiled, stories of haraam love, drinking alcohol, haraam relationships, promotion of crime and transgression against good morals.
For more details please see the answer to questions no. 21227and 13956.
8. You say “He wants me to stop listening to music and not watch movies and soap operas, and not to wear pants, and to wear the abayah that comes down from the head”.
With regard to music and singing, please see the details of the ruling that they are haraam, in the answers to questions no. 43736, 5000and 5011.
See the answer to question no. 8555for the ruling on women wearing the abayah that comes from the shoulders.
With regard to movies and shows, we already mentioned the questions in which the ruling on that is discussed.
Thirdly:
To be fair, you mention something in your question that your fiancé dislikes but it is something that is permissible for you according to sharee’ah, which is your father’s stipulating that you should have a servant, as you say in your question: “He objected strongly to my father’s condition of providing a servant in the marriage contract”.
But there are rulings which apply to having a servant in the house, and it may bring some negative consequences. Please see the answers to questions no. 22980and 26231.
Fourthly:
There are some things which your fiancé is asking for that are valid, and you have no right to object to any of them. These include:
1.
You say “He wants me to devote myself and my life fully to him and his children, and to stop working and forget myself completely and give up all my dreams of completing my studies, improving my work performance or doing any other activities, or even going to the health club”.
For a woman to devote herself to her house, children and husband is one of the greatest deeds that a woman can do. It is a deed that cannot be surpassed in length of time and importance even by the material benefits gained by the husband’s work outside the home.
There are many women’s voices in the west calling for women to go back to the work that she does well, which protects her character and honour, which is working in the home, for which there are not enough hours in the day and night, so how about if she is distracted by going out of the house all the time for work?
2.
You say: “He wants me to stop listening to music and not watch movies and soap operas, and not to wear pants, and to wear the abayah that comes down from the head.”
We have referred to these issues above.
3. You say: “He thinks that all the places I go on trips to with my family (markets, trips to the seaside, leisure centres, even the corniche) are places of mixing and he cannot take me there”.
He is correct in saying that these places are mixed, but it is possible to avoid mixed places in some of them, and to choose a suitable time and place for such trips.
You should note that his motive in not taking you to these places is his protective jealousy towards you, which is something praiseworthy in a husband. It is not bad jealousy like that which is accompanied by doubt and suspicion, rather it is a praiseworthy kind of protective jealousy that you should encourage. You can be subtle in choosing suitable places and times for visiting those places or some of them.
See the answer to question no. 8901, in which there is a fatwa from the scholars of the Standing Committee on the ruling on going to leisure venues in which there are a lot of evils.
Finally:
Married life is wonderful and is based on mutual understanding and harmony. Allaah has created therein love and compassion between the spouses so that it will continue and last.
If the woman sees in herself or in the one who proposes to her that that there is no harmony or similarity in thinking, then it is better for her to taker her time and think long and hard before going ahead with the marriage, especially if there are differences of opinion before consummation of the marriage, or there are differences about matters in which it is hard for either party to accept the view of the other, or to understand his or her opinion or do without it in his or her life. In that case going ahead with the marriage is a risk, not something assured.
What we advise you is to set yourself straight and give up the haraam deeds to which we have drawn your attention – and this has nothing to do with marriage, because they are haraam even if you do not get married. After that you can work out something with your fiancé based on what is permissible for you in sharee’ah. If he agrees to that and opens his mind to it, then perhaps going ahead with the marriage will be good for both parties, but if you continue doing the things that we have warned you about that are nor permissible in sharee’ah, then we do not advise him to marry you, and it is his right, indeed he is obliged, not to do that.
You should note that happiness is found in obeying Allaah and He is the One Who guides people to His way. If Allaah helps His obedient slave to find a blessed marriage and a good family, then he will be in a kind of paradise before the Paradise of eternity, so strive hard to be obedient and look for a husband who respects the limits set by Allaah, for all good in this world will come to you by seeking the pleasure of Allaah.
And Allaah is the Source of strength.






















PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI

Friday, November 4, 2016

General Dought & clear, - * Specious argument about the prohibition on women visiting graves and the refutation thereof













I was searching this site regarding permissibility of women visiting a graveyard. As per fatwa no 127 and 8198, it is not permissible for a women to visit graveyards. I told my mother and sister about this and in response, they sent me snaps from a book called "Mukhtasar Sahi Bukhari" Vol 1 by Darrussalam (Mukhtasar means concise). The snaps showed a hadith (on page 428) number 16 which talks about a woman who was crying over a grave in a cemetry and our Prophet was passing by. He said to the women to fear Allah and have patience. She responded rudly as she did not recognize him. Later when she was told, she went to the prophet and appologized. He replied that patience in the key in times of grief.
(The book concludes from this hadith that visiting the graveyard is permissible for women if 1) she does not visit frequently or in groups 2) does not act against the saying of our Prophet i.e. show patience, etc)
I am confused as this hadith contradicts from the one provided in fatwa 127 and 8198. I believe that at early stages of islam, women were not allowed becuase of their prior belief (grave worshipping) and later they were allowed when islam became stronger (Just like people of Musa, when he left his people with his brother and went to the top of mountain, started worshipping a goat/sheep due to their old worshipping habits)
-
Praise be to Allah
The correct scholarly view is that it is haraam for women to visit graves, because Ibn ‘Abbaas said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) cursed women who visit graves and those who set up places of worship and lamps over them. Narrated and classed as hasan by at-Tirmidhi (320).
Visiting graves was initially prohibited to both men and women, because the Muslims were new in Islam and had only recently given up worshipping the dead and feeling an attachment to them. Therefore they were forbidden to visit graves, so as to block the means that may lead to misguidance and to put an end to any ideas of shirk. But once Islam had become firmly rooted in their hearts, the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) enjoined visiting graves because of the admonition and reminder involved in doing so, as it is a reminder of death and the hereafter.
See the answers to questions no. 8198, 147407and 210114.
The scholars differed concerning the command to visit the graves after doing so had been prohibited: does this includes both men and women, or is it for men only?
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah and his student Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on them both) favoured the view that this command applies only to men, and that women remain subject to the initial prohibition; the Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) affirmed the prohibition on visiting graves with regard to women in particular, and he cursed those women who do that.
Other scholars are of the view that the command to visit graves was general in meaning and included both men and women, then the Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) reiterated the prohibition to women after that.
See:Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa li Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah(24/343-345)
According to both views, the hadith mentioned in the question does not indicate that it is permissible for women to visit graves.
With regard to the second view, that is because the hadith does not indicate that this came after the prohibition on women visiting graves.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: Do the words of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him, “Fear Allah and be patient,” to the woman whom he saw weeping over a grave, indicate that it is permissible for women to visit graves?
He replied:
This may have occurred during the time when the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) had given general permission to both men and women to visit graves, because the hadiths which speak of the prohibition on women visiting graves was definitive and abrogated whatever came before it. End quote.
Majmoo‘ Fataawa Ibn Baaz(13/331)
According to the first view, which is that women remain subject to the prohibition and have not been granted a concession allowing them to visit graves, there is nothing in the hadith to indicate that it is permissible for women to visit graves. Rather the hadith indicates that they are forbidden to do so, as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said to that woman: Fear Allah and be patient. This indicates that what she did was contrary to fearing Allah and was contrary to patience.
Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
With regard to the hadith of Anas in al-Bukhaari: The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) passed by a woman who was weeping over the grave of a child of hers, and he said: Fear Allah and be patient… This also offers proof for the prohibition (on women visiting graves), because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) did not approve of what she was doing; rather he instructed her to fear Allah, which means doing what Allah has enjoined and refraining from what He has forbidden, including the prohibition on women visiting graves. He said to her: Be patient, and it is well-known that her coming to the grave and weeping over it is contrary to patience. Because she refused to accept this from him, as she did not recognise him, he left her alone. When she found out that it was the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) who had told her to do that, she came to him and apologised to him for going against his commands.
What evidence is there in this hadith to prove that it is permissible for women to visit graves?
Moreover, it is not known that this case occurred after he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) had cursed women who visit graves.
We say: even if it indicates that it is permissible for women to visit graves, there is no indication that it came later than the hadiths which prohibit them to visit graves; or it indicates that it is prohibited for them to do so, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) instructed that woman to fear Allah, so it does not indicate that it is permissible for women to visit graves. According to either interpretation of the hadith, this incident does not contradict the hadiths which say that it is forbidden for women to visit graves, and it cannot be claimed that those hadiths were abrogated by this report. And Allah knows best. End quote.
Ziyaarat an-Nisa’ li’l-Quboor, inal-Ajza’ al-Hadeethiyyah(p. 126)
Some scholars responded by noting that this woman did not go out to the grave in order to visit it; rather she went out because of the magnitude of the calamity that had befallen her, and the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was aware of this situation, so he admonished her with regard to the reason for which she had gone out, and he instructed her to be patient, but he did not forbid her to visit the grave, because that was not her intention in the first place, and she had not gone out for that reason.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
This woman had definitely not gone out for the purpose of visiting the grave, but she had been stricken by a calamity, and because of the magnitude of the calamity that had befallen her, she was not able to control herself and remain in her house; therefore she went out and started to weep over the grave, which indicates that her heart was filled with immense and unbearable grief, to the point that she went to her son’s grave and began to weep over it. Therefore the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) instructed her to be patient, because he was aware that she had not gone out for the purpose of visiting the grave, rather she had gone out because of the emotions in her heart and because she could not bear this great calamity. So the hadith does not clearly indicate that she went out to visit the grave, and as it does not clearly indicate that, something clear cannot be contradicted by something that is not clear. End quote.
Majmoo‘ Fataawa wa Rasaa’il(9/429)
In most cases women are not able to control their feelings, so if a woman is afflicted with the loss of someone who is dear to her, and she goes out to visit his grave, that may lead to her falling into some prohibited actions such as wailing, panicking and the like.
And Allah knows best.























PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

* She stipulated that in order to marry her he has to memorize Soorat al-Baqarah or Aal ‘Imraan or take her for Hajj

I want to know can memorization of Holy Quran or part of it be made
into a condition for marriage as one sister(she is a Hafiz) has put
this condition out to me to either memorize Surah al-Baqarah or Surah
ale-Imraan and her third option was Hajj after nikah. I can pick
either of the three. If I pick one of the first two what bothers me
then is I wouldn't be doing it for Allah swt it would be exclusively
to gain her hand. Please explain if this is allowed or not.
-
Praise be to Allaah.
If you want to marry her because she is religiously committed and you
agree to the condition, seeking thereby the pleasure of Allah and to
achieve this aim, and to marry someone who will help you to obey Allah
and you can help her, then there is nothing wrong with that and this
is part of striving for the Hereafter. Allah says (interpretation of
the meaning):
"And whoever desires the Hereafter and strives for it, with the
necessary effort due for it (i.e. does righteous deeds of Allaah's
obedience) while he is a believer (in the Oneness of AllaahIslâmic
Monotheism) — then such are the ones whose striving shall be
appreciated, (thanked and rewarded by Allaah)"
[al-Isra' 17:19].
Al-Nasaa'i (3340) narrated that Anas (may Allah be pleased with him)
said: Abu Talhah married Umm Sulaym and the dowry between them was
Islam; Umm Sulaym became Muslim before Abu Talhah. He proposed to her
and she said: I have become Muslim; if you become Muslim I will marry
you. So he became Muslim, and that was the dowry between them. Classed
as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Nasaa'i.
So strive to memorise the Holy Qur'aan as an act of worship and
obedience towards Allah, and seeking His reward and His pleasure.
There is no reason not to let the request of this sister be what
motivates you to do this act of worship, because it is not contrary to
sincerity. This is like those who enter some religious competitions
and let that a motive to memorise the Holy Qur'aan. So there is
nothing wrong with that and it is not contrary to sincerity.
The scholars of the Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas were asked:
Taking part in religious competitions that offer cash prizes: are
these prizes halaal or haraam?
They replied: There is nothing wrong with accepting the prizes that
are donated by people in authority or other doers of good, because
that is encouragement to acquire knowledge and memorise the Book of
Allah, may He be glorified and exalted. In these and similar matters,
the believer should be sincere towards Allah and be happy to have
something that helps him in that, and his motivation should not be
only to get the money.
Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa'imah, 15/188
And Allah knows best.