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Sunday, November 6, 2016

Engagment, - Dought & clear, - * She rejected his proposal; should he try again?

After putting my trust in Allaah and seeking His help and praying
istkhaarah, I proposed marriage to a girl but was refused because this
girl is studying. Please note that I am attracted to her and I am
always thinking of her. I felt more attracted to her after praying
istikhaarah, because I felt at peace. My mother says that we will try
to approach her again, but I am hesitant because I feel that proposing
to her again will be embarrassing for my family. Should I propose to
her or not? I hope that you – after Allaah – can help me find a
solution.
-
Praise be to Allaah.
If the girl is religiously-committed and of good character, there is
nothing wrong with trying again. If that can be done via some
intermediaries, that is better, so as to avoid embarrassment to your
family. But in fact we do not advise you to do that at present. If her
studies are going to end soon and you can wait for that amount of
time, then the intermediary can explain that, unless there is some
other reason for the refusal which they did not explain.
Whatever the case, you should delegate the matter to Allaah, for no
one knows what is good for him. Stop thinking and feeling attracted to
her, and ask Allaah to show you what is good wherever it is. Open your
mind to accepting both possibilities. If they agree, then hope that
this is good and will help you in obeying Allaah, and if they refuse,
then perhaps Allaah has diverted from you or from her something that
would not be good, and has prepared for both of you that which is
better for you.
"and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that
you like a thing which is bad for you. Allaah knows but you do not
know"
[al-Baqarah 2:216]
The believer has enough concerns, aims and deeds that should divert
him from feeling attached to a girl, no matter who she is. We ask
Allaah to distract us and you with acts of obedience to Him.
And Allaah knows best.
Editor and Publisher,Psychologyist at - INDIA

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