A Day on the Tennis Courts

This is a funny short story about a tennis match in a competitive
tennis league... although I am not sure how funny it was at the time.
Our next opponent in the tennis league, Richmond, came into the match
witha dreadful record of 0 wins, 5 losses. The interesting thing about
Richmond was their captain. Every captain hasa different personality
in this league, but I have been warned about Mikhail being a"handful".
We hosted Richmond on Saturday. Some of their players, who had paid
large dues to be a member of their club, seemed annoyed that they had
to play on our public courts, a far cry from the quality of the
typical private club. As their players took the court, Mikhail grabbed
a measuring tape out of hisbag and measured the height of the net. He
complained that the net was a ½ inch too high and demanded that we
drop it. I felt like saying,"Look, your team is 0-5, does it really
matter?", but instead I lowered the net to his satisfaction. Then,
when he opened a can of balls that we supplied, he complained that the
balls were too fuzzy.
When I tested the ball, it bounced fine and I realized the only thing
fuzzy was his logic."You're welcome to open another can of your own if
you like." He muttered something under his breath before he found
something new to complain about, a few cracks on our public courts.
Due to Mikhail's shenanigans, we started the match about fifteen
minutes late. After my partner and I won a hard fought first set in
doublesagainst Mikhail and his partner, we had our next controversy.
For background, Mikhail is the kind of guy who would argue with a sign
post. He spent the next five minutes disputing (incorrectly) whose
serve and on what side the server should start in the next set.
This is exactly why every league captain should bring to each match
The Code, which lists all the league rules and regulations. It's not
enough to know the rules. When you have to deal with guys like
Mikhail, you have to actually show him the rules in black and white.
After showing Mikhail therelevant section of The Code, he mumbled,
"They must have changed the rule recently." Yeah, right.
Later in the match, four points into a game, Mikhail called out the
score "40-15."
"No, no. The score is 30 all," I said, approaching the net. My partner
nodded in agreement.
"No, it's 40-15," Mikhail said adamantly.
After a long argument and attempt to recall all the points in the
game, we could only remember three points, two, they won and one we
won. I said, "The rule in this caseis that we play from 30-15, the
specific points in the game we all agree on."
"No," Mikhail said, shaking his head. "As server, it's my call and I
say the score is 40-15. That's the rule."
I respectfully asked him what he had been smoking and was it for
medicinal purposes before pulling out the rule book again. After
showing him the relevantsite proving my point, Mikhail grumbled under
his breath that it should be the server's decision because he's the
one thatknows the score.
Mikhail went on to win his service game. Then, I started my next
service game by shouting the score "40 love". When Mikhail put both
hands on his hips in clear protest, I said, "As server, it's my call."
And the congeniality went down from there.
We went on to win the match. Afterwards, I learned Mikhail is one of
those league players whoalways had an excuse for a loss. Here is a
list of my favorite excuses (three of which Mikhail used) that all
start with the quote, "Iwould've won if it wasn't for the..."
(1) Bad line calls
(2) Blinding sun (didn't your opponent have to deal with this too?)
(3) Wind (didn't your opponent have to... nevermind)
(4) New racket (you believed the ad saying it would make you a better player)
(5) Play of my partner (Some people have never lost a doubles match...
but their partners have)
(6) Heat, if temperatures were greater than 75 degrees
(7) Cold, if temperatures were less than 75 degrees
(8) Crowd noise (because you play your best tennis in libraries)
(9) Fact that your opponent simply played better than you. The real
reason for almost all defeats in tennis.

The Bush Brothers: Children's Park (1)

Suddenly, his mobile phone on the seat next tohim rings. He frowns as
he looks over at it, and then quickly turns his attention back onto
the game. While he continuesto look at the ringing phone and then back
onto his game, his hesitant mind is telling him to ignore the game and
answer the damn phone, while the other side of his mind is arguing to
continue playing and ignore the phone.
Eventually, he sighs in loud frustration as the big, bold letters
appear on the screen. GAME OVER.
He snatches the phone and answers it. "What?" He snaps. "You better
not be those damn telemarketers trying to sell me crap again! I
already told you: I am NOT interested!"
"Frederik," a quiet, shaky voice says, "It's me, Matt."
"Matt?" Frederik repeats, while reaching for the television remote
nearby."What's up? Why are you whispering?"
"Listen, I don't have muchtime 'cos they'll come back. I need you to come and-"
"Yes! Digimon is on!" Frederik happily exclaims."Yoshi is so hot for
an anime and all."
"Frederik, pretty much all anime girls are freaking hot, but we can
discuss that later." Matt says sternly, "Right now, I'm ina crisis! I
need you to pay attention."
"Fine then," says Frederik,lowering the television volume. "The theme
tune is over anyway. Tell me what happened."
"Well, I went to town for some free supplies of pretzels in Sharpie's
Pretzel stand, but then I felt sick afterwards. So, I went to Kiddie's
Fun Park and played on the swings. Then-"
"Wait. What? You were inthe children's park?" Frederik repeats the words slowly.
"Yes!"
"What were you doing there?"
"Playing on the swings!" Matt hisses, "Then these big guys came and
tied me up in an awkward position. It really hurts! They've been
torturing me for hours, Frederik, hours! "
Frederik's eyes go wide as he listens to his brother. He confidently
says, "It's okay, I've got your back! I'm coming to save you, you hear
me?"
"Hurry! They're going to come back soon. They promised to play Justin
Bieber Baby ." Matt sobs,"I can't take it anymore! I've still got
Rebecca BlackFriday stuck in my head!"
Frederik gulps, "Hold on, Matt. Stay strong, I won't be long!" He
hangs up thephone and throws it on the sofa next to him."Don't worry,
I'll save you... Even if it's the last thing I do." He mutters."But
first - I'll need some equipment as it'll be a long, dangerous
mission."
********************************************************************************************
Frederik is hiking up a large hill, his face red andsweaty. The hot,
blazing sun is threatening to become an enemy to him.He opens his
rucksack and reaches for his waterbottle. He takes a large sip of
water, and then wipes away his sweat with the back of his hand.
"If only I caught the bus on time," mutters Frederik.
He finally reached the topof the hill and stared down at view. His
eyes immediately spot a cab parked nearby.
"Oi!" He screams, waving his hand, while running down the hill. "Wait
up!" His eyes turn wider in panic as the cab driver begins moving the
vehicle. He stumbles and rolls down the hill. Quickly, he picks
himself up and then runs after the cab that's driving away.
Knowing that the cab was getting away, Frederik scans the area closely
and then sees two bikes standing outside someone's house. His facelits
up and he races towards it. He climbs ontothe red bike, and then
pedals as fast as his aching legs could manage. The cab was still in
view, but it would soon get away if he didn't think of somethingfast.
Luckily for Frederik, he knew a shortcut. He turnsa corner and then
begins to gain speed. The ride is easy and there are no obstacles to
slow him down. It is simply a clean path. While pedaling freely, he
produced yet another bottle of water out of his rucksack.
In no time, he rode out ofthe corner and was now riding side-by-side
next to the cab. He finished gulping down his water and threw the
bottle behind his shoulder. He steers the bike away fromthe pavement
and onto the road. He is now in front of the cab, causing it to come
to a halt.
"You stupid f**king idiot!" The cab driver shouts angrily, "Were
youtrying to kill yourself or something?!"
Frederik jumps off the bike and opens the vehicle's door. He seats
himself comfortably."Nope, I just wanted a ride to Sharpie's Pretzel
stand."
"Sharpie's Pretzel stand?"The cab driver repeats.
"Yup, it's near Kiddie's Fun Park."
"Like the one over there?" The cab driver points towards a large,
colorful sign that read in a friendly tone: Kiddie's Fun Park. There's
a line ofinanimated children on the bottom of the sign, holding hands.
Frederik nods his head slowly, "Yup, that's the one." He chuckles
delightfully, and then turns to see an angry cab driver.
"Get out." The cab driver says.
Frederik hastily leaves thevehicle. He watches the cab drive away with
the driver still pissed off. Frederik shrugs. "Now, it's time for some
free pretzels!" He says.
He walks to the pretzel stand and pushes in frontof everyone else.
"Oi!"
"Watch it!"
"Do you mind?"
"Stop pushing! Get to the back of the line!"
"Oi, I was first!"
"Hey, can I have some free pretzels?" Frederik asks the annoyed
womandressed in white uniform.
"Sorry, but all the free supplies have been given out already." She informs him.
"Dammit!" Frederik groans.
A big, chubby female patted his shoulder with her pointy fingers.
"Erm, excuse me? This is a line . Go to the back of the line."
"No, I will not!" Frederik screams in her face,"Because I'm going to
save my brother Matt from being raped! So, I think you should just
shutup!"
The woman moves her head back, slightly stricken. She was about to
speak her mind, but Frederik repeats loudly,"Just SHUT UP! "
"Sir, please leave if you'renot buying any pretzels. You're scaring my
customers away." The pretzel lady says uncomfortably.
Frederik grumpily stompsaway, his steps purposely loud. He crosses the
road, while hearing the usual car beeps thrown his way. He then makes
his way to the large green fence. He gazes at the massive sign -
Kiddie's Fun Park.
"I've finally made it," Frederik says, panting slightly. With a deep
breath, he bravely steps in... The children's park...

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And Allah Knows the Best!

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Published by :->
M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA

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Jumma Prayers - Jumu’ah is obligatory for everyone in the city even if they do not hear the adhaan

If I cannot hear the adhaan in the city in which I live, because the
mosque is far away, is it obligatory for me to pray Jumu'ah and pray
in congregation?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Jumu'ah prayer is one ofthe symbols of Islam and is one of the major
obligations. There are stern warnings against abandoning it, as the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whoever
misses three Jumu'ahs out of neglect, Allaah will place a seal upon
his heart." Narrated by Abu Dawood, 1052; al-Nasaa'i, 1369; Ibn
Maajah, 1126; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
Prayer in congregation is obligatory for every able-bodied man who
hears the call. The fact that it is obligatory is indicated by a great
dealof evidence, which you may see in the answer toquestion no. 120 .
What is meant by hearing the call is that a person can hear the adhaan
if it is given at a normal volume without loudspeakers, when the
muezzin raises his voice, and the wind and other sounds etc that could
affect hearing are silent. See question no. 21969 and 20655 .
This has to do with the five daily prayers in congregation. As for
Jumu'ah, this is another matter. The fuqaha' say that everyone who is
in the city or village in which Jumu'ah prayers are held is obliged to
attend, whether they can hear the call or not. This is agreed upon, as
we shall see below.
As for those who are outside the city or village where no Jumu'ah
prayer is held, there is a difference of scholarly opinion concerning
them.
Some of the fuqaha' say that if they can hear the call – the call to
Jumu'ah in the city or village – then they are obliged to pray
Jumu'ah, but if theycannot hear it then they are not obliged to do
so.This is the view of the Shaafa'is and is the opinion of Muhammad
ibn al-Hasan. Fatwas to this effect have also been issued by the
Hanafis.
Some of them say that if there is more than one farsakh (i.e., three
miles)between them and the place of Jumu'ah, then they are not obliged
to attend Jumu'ah, but if it is a farsakh or less then they must
attend. This is the view of the Maalikis and Hanbalis.
Some of them say that the one who is able to go to Jumu'ah and then
return to his family before nightfall is obliged to attend. This was
narrated by Ibn al-Mundhir from Ibn 'Umar, Anas, Abu Hurayrah,
Mu'aawiyah, al-Hasan, Naafi' the freed slave of Ibn 'Umar, 'Ikrimah,
'Ata', al-Hakam,al-Awzaa'i and Abu Thawr.
We have drawn attention to the ruling on those who are outside the
city or village because some people think that this difference of
opinion applies to those who areinside the city, but that is mistaken
thinking.
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:al-Shaafa'i said to his
companions: If there are forty or more mature people in the city, then
Jumu'ah is obligatory foreveryone who is in the city, even if the city
is wider than many farsakh, whether they can hear the call or not.
This is unanimously agreed upon.
End quote from al-Majmoo', 4/353
Al-Mardaawi said in al-Insaaf: The difference of opinion concerning
what is meant by a farsakh, or whether theyare able to hear the call,
or whether they can go and come back in one day, apply to those who
live in a village where the numbers do not reach the level stipulated
for Jumu'ah, or those who live in tents and the like, or those who are
travelling a distance that is less than that at which it becomes
permissible to shorten one's prayers. The dispute is concerning these
and similar cases. As for the one who is living in a city where
Jumu'ah prayers are held, he is obliged to attend even ifthere are
many farsakhs between him and the place of Jumu'ah, whether he can
hear thecall or not, and whether his building is contiguous to the
city or is separate, if it is called by the same name.
End quote.
See: Majma' al-Anhar, 1/169; Haashiyat al-'Adawi 'ala Sharh
al-Risaalah, 1/376; Kashshaaf al-Qinaa', 2/22.
Conclusion: The one whois living n a city is obliged to attend
Jumu'ah, whether he can hear the call or not. This is a matter
concerning which there is no difference of opinion among the scholars.
But there is a difference of opinion concerning what is meant by a
"city"in cases where the houses are far apart and scattered, and there
are farms and agricultural areas in between the residential quarters.
Some of the scholars said: If they are separated, with farms in
between, then each quarter is like a separatecity.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, after
quoting this opinion: But the correct view is that so long as they
come under one name, then this is one city. If we assume that the city
has spread and there aremiles or farsakhs between one side and the
other, it is still a single city and Jumu'ah is obligatory for those
on its eastern edge just as for those on its western edge, and the
same applies to the north and south, because it is one city. End quote
from al-Sharh al-Mumti', 5/17.

Jumma Prayers - Prohibition on stepping over people who are sitting in the mosque on Friday

I hope that you can tell us the ruling on stepping over people who are
sitting in the mosque on Friday – is it haraam or not?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Abu Dawood (1118) and Ibn Maajah (1115) narrated that 'Abd-Allaah ibn
Busr (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: A man came and started
stepping over the people one Friday when the Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) wasdelivering the khutbah,
and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to
him: "Sit down, for you have annoyed (people)."Classed as saheeh by
al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
In this hadeeth there is aprohibition on stepping over people when
coming to Jumu'ah (Friday) prayer.
The scholars differed concerning this matter and there are two views.
1 – That it is makrooh. This was narrated by Ibnal-Mundhir from the
majority. Ibn Hajar said: The majority are of the view that it is
makrooh in the sense that it is better not to do it. This isthe
well-known view of the Shaafa'is and is the view of the Hanbalis.
See: Fath al-Baari, 2/392;Kashshaaf al-Qinaa', 2/44; al-Majmoo', 4/466
Maalik and al-Awzaa'i limited its being makrooh to when the khateeb is
on the minbar, It says in al-Mudawwanah (1/159): Maalik said: Rather
it is makrooh to step over people when the imam has come out and has
sat on the minbar. Whoever steps over people then is the one of whom
the hadeeth speaks. But before that there is nothing wrong with it if
there is a gap in front of him, but he should be polite in doing that.
End quote.
2 – That stepping over others is haraam in all cases, on Fridays and
at other times, because of the hadeeth of 'Abd-Allaah ibn Busr (may
Allaah be pleased with him) in which he said: A man came and started
stepping over the people one Friday when the Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was delivering the
khutbah, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said to him: "Sit down, for you have annoyed (people)."
Narrated by Abu Dawood, 1118; Ibn Maajah, 1115; classed as saheeh by
al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
Al-Tirmidhi said: This is what is to be followed according to the
scholars. They regarded it as makrooh for a man to step over people on
Friday, and they were very strict with regard tothat. End quote.
This is what a number ofscholars regarded as more likely to be
correct,such as Ibn al-Mundhir, Ibn 'Abd al-Barr, al-Nawawi, and
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, asstated in al-Ikhtiyaaraat
al-Fiqhiyyah, p. 81, and others. Among contemporary scholars who held
this view is Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen.
Ibn al-Mundhir said, explaining the reason why he said it is
haraam:That is because causing annoyance is haraam, whether it is a
little or a lot, and this is causing annoyance, as it says in the
saheeh hadeeth in which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) saidto one whom he saw stepping over people: "Sit down, for
you are causing annoyance." Al-Majmoo', 4/467.
Ibn 'Abd al-Barr said in al-Tamheed (1/316): The words of the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to the
one who was stepping over people on a Friday, "You are causing
annoyance,"indicate that stepping over people is an annoyance, and it
is not permissible to annoy a Muslim under any circumstances, on
Friday or at any other time.
Al-Nawawi said in Rawdat al-Taalibeen (11/224): The favoured view is
that stepping over people is haraam, because of the ahaadeeth on this
topic.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen said: Stepping over people is haraam duringthe
khutbah and at other times, because the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said to a man whom he saw stepping over people:
"Sit down, for you are causing annoyance." That is evenmore forbidden
if it happens during the khutbah, because it is causing annoyance to
people and distracting them from listening to the khutbah, even if he
is moving towards a gap. End quote.
Fataawa wa Rasaa'il al-Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen, 16/147.