'' Our Lord ! grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter and save us from the torment of the Fire '' [Ameen]
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{in Arab} :->
Rabbanaa aatinaa fid-dunyaa hasanatan wafil aakhirati hasanatan waqinaa 'athaaban-naar/-
(Surah Al-Baqarah ,verse 201)
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Are you unable to stay alone?
I can't stand being alone
I always want people around me
I Don't know why i feel uncomfortable when i am alone
Do those statements sound familiar to you? Then you might be having a problem with Monophobia or the fear of being alone.
We humans are social beings. We should enjoy the company of others and feel good when we are surrounded by people. However any normal human must also be able to spend time alone without feeling uncomfortable, unhappy or anxious.
The fear of being alone is all about getting intense feelings of discomfort when you believe that you are about to be left alone even for a short period of time. See also 5 ways social support reduces stress and benefits your health
What causes the fear of being alone
*.1) Fear of facing your thoughts:The human mind can do lots of tricks in order to help a person escape from a problem or an unwanted thought. Once your brain realizes that you want to run away from a certain thought it can actually help you do that in various ways. One of the ways your brain can help you escape an unwanted thought is to prevent you from being alone by making you feel uncomfortable. In such a case because you are too afraid to face your problems your brain decided to use this trick to prevent you from facing them. See also The Psychology of self deception
*.2) Fear of being abandoned:If you felt that you were abandoned by your parents or your significant others during your childhood then you might develop Monophobia in your adulthood. In such a case the childhood wound that happened to you in the past became the primary source of your fear. In this case you might be too afraid that the past repeats itself and that people abandon you. See also How your past affects your present
*.3) Wrong understanding of closeness:Many people ,especially women, give a wrong meaning to closeness. Those people assume that love means that a person must be next to them 24/7. Those people also believe that if someone went away for sometime then this means that this person doesn't like them. This wrong understanding of the dynamics of love and of the individual differences between people can result in the fear of being alone. See also Why is love not like in the movies
*.4) Serious self esteem issues:If the person has serious doubts about themselves or their own worth then they might become extremely sensitive to being left alone. In such a case the person interprets the event of being left alone as if they are not worthy of being loved. This perception problem feeds the fear of being alone for the person does their best to avoid that situation not to feel unworthy. See also How perception affects the behaviour
*.5) Intense need for approval:The need for approval can become so intense that the person might feel bad whenever they are left alone. In such a case the person fears being alone because for them it means that others are not approving them. See also I need to be loved too much, i want to feel loved
How to get over that type of fear
In order to get over that type of fear you need to understand it's cause for the cause differs from one case to another. The key to ending any kind of fear is knowing exactly what your mind is trying to tell you when it sends you this type of message.
In my article Emotions are just messagesi explained how your mind always tries to communicate with you using emotions. When you truly understand the purpose of the message you will be able to best respond to it.
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