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Saturday, April 9, 2016

Engagment, - Dought& clear, - * He lives in America and has done the marriage contract with her; can she travel to join him?

I am a young woman living in Jordan, and I got engaged on the basis of
a contract to a young man who is religiously committed and fears
Allah, and he lives in America. We have been engaged for a year and a
half, and he is still studying. My question is: is it permissible for
me to travel to be with him and his mother until he finishes his
studies, then we can go to where he is going to work? Please note that
until now there is no place where we can get married and live
together. In other words I would stay with him until he finishes his
studies. Please note that I cannot stay away from him more than that,
and my being with him will help him to keep away from the fitnah that
surrounds him.
-
Praise be to Allaah.
If you mean that the marriage contract has been done for you and there
remains nothing but consummation of the marriage, and that he wants to
consummate the marriage with you there, then there is nothing wrong
with that; rather it is something good and we encourage you and advise
you to go ahead, because it is better for you to be with your husband
and it is more chaste for you and for him, and will keep both of you
further away from fitnah.
Your family and his should announce news of the consummation of the
marriage everywhere and publicise it in the place where you are. It is
not essential for the consummation to actually take place in the
country where you are; rather that may be easier for you and it may be
more affordable to get married this way in the beginning, then after
that you can prepare your home gradually.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
It is better for a woman to travel overseas with her husband than to
stay in her country; that is better for her and for him too. I do not
see anything wrong with it.
End quote fromLiqa' al-Baab al-Maftooh, 81/17
See also the answer to question no. 3477
In that case he has to come and travel with you, or one of your
mahrams should travel with you to take you to him, because a woman can
only travel with a mahram. See the answer to questions no. 316and
34380
If you mean that you will travel to him without that which is
customarily called consummation, meaning that you would be travelling
to him thinking that you are married in the sense that a marriage
contract has been done but the marriage has not been consummated, in
spite of all that you mention, and that the actual consummation of the
marriage will come after he finishes his studies and gets a house and
a job, when he can afford the expenses of marriage and the
consequences and costs thereof, this is a kind of messing about and
fooling oneself, and that is something that is not acceptable at all.
This idea of yours seems to be based on the way you phrased your
question, "I got engaged on the basis of a contract" i.e., a marriage
contract, as some people call this period an engagement period, even
if the shar'i marriage contract has been done.
But if that does not mean a marriage contract, then it is not
permissible for you to travel to him and none of the aims of marriage
result from that. Rather you should look at what your words really
mean.
It says inFataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa'imah(18/69): Mere engagement
between a man and woman does not mean that it is a marriage contract.
Both the man and the woman may change their minds if they see fit
during that period, whether the other party agrees or not.
And Allah knows best.

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