'' Our Lord ! grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter and save us from the torment of the Fire '' [Ameen]
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{in Arab} :->
Rabbanaa aatinaa fid-dunyaa hasanatan wafil aakhirati hasanatan waqinaa 'athaaban-naar/-
(Surah Al-Baqarah ,verse 201)
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QuestionI would like to ask a question on a strange situation a couple who had been married for 4 months, had a huge argument and the husband leaves and they don't communicate with each other at all for 2 years accept on a few occasions, the form of contact was telephone conversations trying to solve the problem, the lady tries to get back with the husband to try and make a new start the man refuses, there is still lots of hate and anger...there is also a child who is 1 year old coming onto 2, the lady had asked for a divorce, the man refuses, the lady wants a divorce because she wants to be able to move on and get married, the man says to her you either pay me $10,000 or give me my boy back and I will give you a divorce, also when the lady had the baby her husband wasn't around he had been gone for some time by then, she called him and told him she is going to have a baby he didn't come back. And when she had it she asked him 2 at least come and visit he also refused… until the lady asked for a divorce he started asking for him back but not just to visit to keep and likely not let her see him, the lady doesn't have the money and will not give up the boy...can she divorce without the man?...can she remarry?...how do u solve the situation? The man is being very stubborn and arrogant so there is no way 2 compromises the lady cant just be trapped 4 the rest of her life in this or can she?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
Islam urged the husband and wife to have good marital relations. Allaah says )interpretation of the meaning(: }…And live with them honourably…{]4:19[.
The Prophetalso advised us to treat our wives well as he said: "Treat women kindly." ]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
However, it is very rare for martial life to be free from problems. But one should be wise in solving them, and learn from the guidance of the Prophetand his companionsin this matter.
We advise this wife to seek reconciliation, by appointing some of the wise men from her family and some from his family to look into the matter, may Allaah enable them to reconcile between them. Allaah says )interpretation of the meaning(: }If you fear a breach between them twain )the man and his wife(, appoint )two( arbitrators, one from his family and the other from her's; if they both wish for peace, Allaah will cause their reconciliation….{]4:35[.
It is not permissible for this husband to leave his wife in this suspended condition. She is not a widow and at the same time she does not have a husband. So he should either keep her and live with her honourably, or divorce her. If he does not do one of the above options, then it is permissible for her to take her matter to the Islamic court, if any, or to the Muslim community in case there is no Islamic court of Justice.
It is also not permissible for this husband to harm his wife by demanding that she gives to him a ransom without a sound religious reason. This is a kind of transgression; Allaah says )interpretation of the meaning(: }…and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the dowry you have given them, unless they commit open illegal sexual intercourse….{]4:19[.
Moreover, it is not permissible for the wife to accept his demand; she should take the matter to whoever would be able to take her right from him.
As regards the fostering of the children, in principle it is the right of the mother if there is no deterrent, because in case of deterrence, the fostering of the children will be transmitted to whoever is more appropriate for it according to the classification mentioned by the Islamic Jurists.
There is no harm for this woman to remarry after her husband divorces her, or after the Muslim community, or the judge divorces her from him.
Anyway these issues are controversial, therefore, it is more appropriate to take the matter to an Islamic Court, if any, otherwise to an Islamic Centre or Islamic Foundation in order to hear from both parties and study all the aspects of the issue and its circumstances which would affect the ruling.
Allaah knows best.
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NajimudeeN M
NajimudeeN M
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