Fathwa, - Feels disgraced by her husband and his family

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Question
I was married before 2 years, that was arranged by my parents and my in-laws, no intensions from my side. When my in-laws came to my home for my proposal they do not show anything. And said everything is perfect in their house .my husband was inUSAat that time. After that my husband came to my homeland and my parents call him at home that he see me and I see him. When I see him I refused that I can't marry with that man, but my husband accepted that he want to marry me. The conflict start at that time my parents force me to get married. He is a good guy but I refused again and again. My in-laws told me if I agreed they never force me in any matter. And I have all rights what I will want. And after marriage when I want I will visit to my mother's home. After so many forceful things )specially from my father and mother side( I agreed.
After marriage, 3 months was good for me when my husband was with me in my homeland he never show me any wrong thing he was good with me, after 3 months he was back toUSAand life with horrible things stands in front of me.
My husband and his parents really tease me at that time, then my husband tells me he was involved with his cousins her name was Erum. He was totally involved with that girl and want to marry that girl but her family refused him. After this my husband start ZINA inUSAwith English ladies he was involved in adultery. And he was completely spoiled. His parents never show anything to us. After marriage when I know all these things I really hate him because he and his family all are really shameful pupil. After marriage he left me with his parents and back toUSA. When I was with his parents his mother, father and my husband never gave permission to me to spend a single night with my parents .my in-laws and my husband make my life difficult .my husband use bad language for me and my parents and never give permission to me to stay a single night with my mother. He was committed sins like adultery and was punishing me. I spend 6 months with his parents my mother in-law never gave permission to my mom to visit my home. She said this is not in our family but she was telling lie because her family's girl was different they all visit their moms and their mom also visit their daughters. After that painful situation I really hate my in-laws and my husband also. Now I am living with my husband but in my deep heart I do not love him, another problem is that we are living in a house in USA where all male are living only me a lady .there is all are my husband's friends and all knows that my husband was go for adultery. I am completely collapsed. I feel very dawn because of that type of husband. I really feel ashamed that Allaah gave me that type of man which was committed adultery. I feel shameful in front of those pupil who knows my husband committed adultery.
I don't know what can I do I feel very bad when I think about these things. I don't know why Allaah gave me big punishment. When I said to my father in-law you don't explain every thing when you come to our house for your son's proposal he said no body can do this thing. I said this is cheating but he denies. Is there any punishment to that type of pupil who shows fake things? And why Allaah gave me that type of man. When I see good husbands of my family's girl. I feel very shameful. Please help me what can I do? And now we want back to homeland, but I don't think my husband will give me permission to visit my mother home what can I do?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
You should know that Allaah sometimes afflicts a person with some of these worldly calamities as a test for him. If the person is patient, then this raises him in degrees and eradicates his sins. The Prophetsaid: "The greatness of the extent of the reward is proportional to the greatness of the affliction. When Allaah loves some people, He afflicts them. So, those of them who are content get the reward of being content while those who get angry get the punishment of being discontent." ]At-Tirmithi[
Allaah may also afflict a person because of some of his sins, Allaah says )what means(: }And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of what your hands have earned.{ ]Quran 42: 30[
So we advise you to be patient and advise your husband, and seek the Help of Allaah and then the help of the scholars and pious people, or any relative or friend who could influence him, as he might repent.
If he takes heed, then all perfect praise be to Allaah, but if he persists in committing sins that he had been committing, then it becomes permissible for you to take the matter to one of the Islamic organizations to remove the harm from you. If they can not help you and they advise you to take the matter to the authorities in that country, then do so. Allaah may make things easier for you and remove the difficulty from you.
Finally, we draw your attention to the following matters:
Firstly, it is not permissible for a guardian to marry off an adult virgin or a non-virgin woman except by her consent. He has to fear Allaah and he should not marry her off except to a competent and suitable husband. A dissolute person is not suitable.
Secondly, it is not permissible for a husband to prevent his parents in-law from seeing their daughter, as long as he does not fear in that a real harm. Also, it is impermissible for him to prevent her from visiting her parents unless he fears harm to her by her visiting them.
Allaah Knows best.







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