Women site, - What Ails Women who Act like Men? - I

We all know that women are protected jewels and are distinguished from
men by their softness and gentleness. Islam elevated the status of
women and made them equal to men with regard to many rights and
duties. The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"Women are
peers to men."However, unfortunately many women do not consider their
feminity an asset due to their overriding desires and fancies, and
take pleasure in displaying a masculine identity. It is as if they
want to say, "Come on! Look at me! I am a tomboy!"
Who are boyish girls or "tomboys" and what prompts them to act in this manner?
Boyish girls or what we call "tomboys" are those girls who imitate men
in the way they dress, walk, speak or the way they have their hair
cut. This phenomenon has started to spread even in Islamic societies
in a marked manner, which compels us to take measures to deal with it.
This phenomenon certainly has causes and can be treated. Most of those
girls who violate the innate disposition that Allaah The Almighty has
created them with and who abandon their femininity, undoubtedly suffer
from psychological problems and feel inferior and should be treated in
the correct way.
First, we shall start by stating the ruling of Sharee'ah )Islamic
legislation( on this eccentric behavior.
There are Hadeeths )narrations( that tell us about the punishment for
boyish girls, such as:
• Abu Hurayrah, may Allaah be pleased with him, said, "The Messenger
of Allaah, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, cursed the man who dresses
like a woman and the woman who dresses like a man."
• 'Abdullaah ibn 'Amr, may Allaah be pleased with him, narrated that
he heard the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam,
saying:"Men who imitate women and women who imitate men do not belong
to us."
• Ibn 'Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him, said: "The Prophet,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, cursed the effeminate men and the women
who assume a masculine attitude, and he said: 'Turn them out of your
houses.' The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, turned out
such-and-such man, and 'Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, turned
out such-and-such man."
• 'Abdullaah ibn 'Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, narrated that
the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"Three )types of
people( will not enter Paradise and Allaah will not look at them on
the Day of Judgment: the one who is undutiful to his parents, the
woman who imitates men and the Dayyooth )a man who approves of
indecency among his womenfolk(."
• Ibn Abu Mulaykah, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said, "'Aa'ishah,
may Allaah be pleased with her, was asked about the woman who wears
the sandals of men, she replied, 'The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam, cursed women who assume a masculine attitude.'"
The abovementioned Hadeeths clearly indicate that it is prohibited for
men to imitate women and it is also prohibited for women to imitate
men. This includes the way of dressing and everything else, except the
first Hadeeth, which refers to the way of dressing alone.
These Hadeeths indicate that any woman who imitates men, either in the
way she dresses, walks or speaks is cursed. Being cursed means being
expelled from the Mercy of Allaah The Almighty and all people will
enter Paradise by virtue of the Mercy of Allaah The Almighty, not
because of their deeds and acts of worship, even the Prophet,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, will enter Paradise by the Mercy of
Allaah TheAlmighty. Are the "tomboys" of our times in no need of the
Mercy of Allaah The Almighty?
Imaam Ath-Thahabi, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said,
Imitating men in the way they dress, walk and the like is one of the
grave major sins and the woman who does so is expelled from the mercy
of Allaah The Almighty and is cursed by the Messenger of Allaah,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam. Allaah The Almighty will not look at
such a woman on the Day of Judgment and she will not enter Paradise.
Indeed, this is a grave sin and an awful crime that can only be
forgiven by sincere repentance.
Causes and treatment of the phenomenon of boyish girls:
• Lack of faith and fear of Allaah The Almighty: This is because
committing sins -- whether major or minor -- is a result of lack of
faith and not feeling that Allaah The Almighty Is watching His slaves.
The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"The fornicator is
not a perfect believer when he commits fornication, and the one who
drinks alcohol is not a perfect believer when he drinks, and the thief
is not a perfect believer when he commits theft and the one who
plunders a valuable thing that attracts the attention of people is not
a perfect believer when he commits this plunder."There is no doubt
that the woman who imitates men lacks faith and is tempted by the
devil to commit this grave major sin that is prohibited by virtue of
more than one authentic Hadeeth.
• Bad upbringing and family negligence: Undoubtedly, people are
affected by the surrounding environment and the girl that is brought
up in a home whose members do not adhere to the teachings of Islam
will not be given a righteous upbringing and will be liable to
deviation. It will be easy for her to commit evil deeds, imitate men
and so on. Imitating men is one of the forms of deviation as it
violates the woman's innate disposition. Such girls do not have strong
faith or a sound upbringing that would prevent them, or a righteous
guardian who would deter them and guide them to the right path. Since
an early age, girls should be brought up to obey Allaah The Almighty,
follow the sound creed and adhere to the manners of Sharee'ah in order
to have strong faith and virtuous morals. The Prophet, sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam, said:"The one who is responsible for any of these
girls and does good to them will be screened from Hell because of
them."Abu Sa'eed Al-Khudri, may Allaah be pleased with him, narrated
that the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"The one who has
three daughters or three sisters, or two daughters or two sisters and
accompanies them with kindness and fears Allaah regarding them will
enter Paradise."
A noteworthy point is that the girl who lives in a family that has
many boys usually behaves in a boyish manner unless the mother pays
attention to this matter. If the mother was negligent with her
daughter and treated her the same way the she treats her sons without
making her feel that she is a girl and without teaching her that she
should behave in a different way from her brothers, the girl would
behave and act in a boyish manner and would lose bashfulness and
gentleness in dealing with people. This is not the fault of the girl
but it is definitely the parents' fault.