Sex in Islam, - An Islamic Perspective on Sexuality

Muslim Women's League -
In Islam, sexuality is considered part of our identity as human
beings. In His creation of humankind, God distinguished us from other
animals by giving us reason and will such that we can control behavior
that, in other species, is governed solely by instinct. So, although
sexual relations ultimately can result in the reproduction and
survival of the human race, an instinctual concept, our capacity for
self-control allows us to regulate this behavior. Also, the mere fact
that human beings are the only creatures who engage in sexual
relations once they are beyond the physical capacity for reproduction,
sets us apart from all other species which engage in sex for the sole
purpose of reproduction.
Marriage
For Muslims, based on an understanding of Qur'an and hadith, sexual
relations are confined to marriage between a wife and husband. Within
this context, the role of a healthy sexual relationship is extremely
important. Having and raising children are encouraged among Muslims.
Once a child is born, the parents are expected to care for, nurture
and prepare the child for adulthood, with a goal of imparting Islam so
that the indivdual is equipped with knowledge and willingness to
accept and practice Islam and thus become a productive member of
society.
Beyond childbearing, sexual relations assume a prominent role in the
overall well-being of the marriage. In reading hadith, one is
impressed with the Prophet's ability to discuss all issues including
those dealing with human sexuality. The topics range from questions
about menstruation to orgasm. He apparently was not embarassed by such
inquiries, but strove to adequately guide and inform the Muslims who
asked. Both Qur'an and hadith allude to the nature of sexual relations
as a means of attaining mutual satisfaction, closeness and compassion
between a wife and husband. "Permitted to you on the night of the
Fasts is the approach to your wives. They are your garments and you
are their garments."(2:187) Also, Muslims are advised to avoid sexual
intercourse during menses so as not to cause discomfort to the woman
(2:222).
The goal of marriage is to create tenderness between two individuals
and satisfy the very basic human need for companionship. "And among
His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among
yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has
put love and mercy between you; in this are signs for those who
think."(30:21) The hadith which address this issue are numerous. The
Prophet himself, while not divulging all aspects of his own sexual
life, was known for his nature as a loving husband who was sensitive
and physically demonstrative. In several hadith, he speaks about the
importance of foreplay and speaking in loving terms during sexual
relations. Again, the concept of mutual satisfaction is elucidated in
a hadith which advises husbands to engage in acts that enable a woman
to achieve orgasm first. (see Ihya ulum-id-din (Revival of Religious
Learning) by Imam Ghazzali, chapter on Marriage). Sexual
dissatisfaction is considered legitimate grounds for divorce on the
part of either wife or husband.
Sex Outside of Marriage
Naturally, attraction between individuals is necessary to initiate a
relationship that leads to marriage. But sexual relations can
obviously take place between any couple, consenting or not. Because of
the far-reaching ramifications of sexual relations outside of
marriage, Muslims are prohibited by God from such behavior. And
because the process that leads to physical attraction and ultimately
intimacy is part of human nature, Muslims are advised to behave in a
way and avoid circumstances that could potentially result in extra- or
pre-marital sex. Modesty in dress and behavior between women and men
figures prominently as a means of exhibiting self-control. Similarly,
unmarried couples are admonished against spending time alone in
isolated places where they would be more likely to act on their
feelings and thus be less inhibited.
Some of the negative results of sex outside of marriage include the
potential for unwanted pregnancies, transmission of sexually
transmitted diseases, disruption of the family and marriage (in cases
of adultery), and emotional and psychological difficulties resulting
from the lack of commitment associated with most relationships outside
of marriage. As in other religions, extra- and pre-marital sex are
considered major sins. Muslims believe that God does not simply forbid
or allow behavior whimsically, but does so with our best interest at
heart, guiding us away from potentially destructive behavior and
towards behavior that allows us to achieve our most fulfilling
potentials as human beings. For a similar reason, Muslims give up the
consumption of alcohol because of faith in God's wisdom that the
negative effects outweigh the positive for individuals and society at
large. "Whoever submits his whole self to God, and is a doer of good,
has grasped indeed the most trustworthy handhold..."{(31:22)
Contraception
Although Muslims are encouraged to have children, contraception is not
prohibited. The method used during the time of the Prophet was coitus
interruptus (known as 'azl) about which several hadith exist. His
basic response when asked if such a practice was lawful was that
individuals can do as they will, but if God intends for a child to be
born, she/he will be born. Some interpreted this to mean that
preventing pregnancy is not recommended because child-bearing is
preferred; yet the act is not specifically prohibited. Also, other
hadith stipulate that 'azl could not be practiced without the wife's
consent as it might interfere with her sexual satisfaction or desire
to bear children.
By analogy, the methods that exist today as contraceptives are lawful
for Muslims to use at their discretion. Basically, it is our position
that any method that does not involve pregnancy termination is
permissible. Imam al-Ghazzali (see previous reference) lists a number
of legitimate reasons for practicing contraception, including
financial difficulty, emotional or psychological hardship of having
many children, and even the preservation of beauty and health.
It should be clear from this discussion, that since sexual relations
should be confined to marriage, contraception is so limited. It is not
considered a means of easing the difficulties associated with sexual
relations outside of marriage.
Abortion
Abortion is viewed in the same context as having relevance only
regarding pregnancies occurring in marriage, again, not as a response
to conception as a result of extra- or pre-marital relationships.
Early Muslim jurists considered abortion lawful for a variety of
reasons until 40 -120 days after conception (first trimester). This
was based on interpretation of Qur'an (22:4 and 23:12-14) and hadith
that implied that ensoulment or 'life' did not exist until after that
time (see Sex and Society in Islam, B.F. Musallam, Cambridge
University Press, 1983). Contemporary thinkers, considering available
technology that allows visualization of the embryonic heartbeat at
four weeks of gestation, are of the position that life begins much
earlier than previously thought, and therefore to terminate would be
to take a life illegally.
The majority of Muslims today believe that abortion is allowed only if
the mother's life is significantly endangered by the pregnancy. Some
also feel that the presence of certain congenital anomalies
(particularly those that are lethal) make abortion lawful. Also, some
scholars consider abortion appropriate in pregnancies resulting from
rape or incest.
Homosexuality
Human beings are capable of many forms of sexual expression,
orientation and identification. The existence of such a variety again
is not found in any other species and thus further demonstrates our
uniqueness among God's creations. The potential for behavior, such as
homosexuality, does not mean that its practice is lawful in the eyes
of God. Therefore, individuals are expected to control themselves and
not act on their desires if such action is contrary to the guidelines
of Islam. Homosexuality, like other forms of sexual relations outside
of heterosexual marriage, is thus prohibited. In any discussion of
prohibited acts follows the question of what happens if they
nevertheless occur. The Qur'an and hadith are explicit regarding
severe punishment by the State if a person is convicted of such a
crime. However, in order for conviction to take place, the individuals
must confess or be accused by at least four eyewitnesses of the act of
actual intercourse. Obviously, the likelihood of these criteria being
met is small which means that most couples who engage in unlawful acts
will not be punished by the State. They will then deal with the
consequences of their behavior in this life and will be accountable to
God on the Day of Judgement. How He ultimately judges is known only by
Him.
Sex Education
Clearly, from the above discussion, Islam is explicit about many
aspects of human sexuality. Also, based on the numerous hadith showing
the Prophet's willingness to discuss these matters openly, it should
be obvious that education about matters related to sex is acceptable.
Muslims may disagree about the age at which sex education begins; some
don't discuss the subject at all. Explaining anatomy and the changes
one's body experiences during puberty are essential for enabling young
people to grow up with a healthy self-image. Also, in an age where
sexual activity in many countries begins at an early age, Muslim
adolescents must be informed to better enable them to deal with peer
pressure. Sex education can be taught in a way that informs young
people about sexuality in scientific and moral terms. In countries
with very diverse populations, such as the United States, the main
limitation in developing sex education curricula, particularly in
public schools, is the inability to select a universally acceptable
moral position. Therefore, young people are given facts and
information, and advised that if they choose to engage in sexual
relationships, they should take measures to prevent pregnancy and
sexually transmitted diseases. The moral and religious aspects of
sexuality can be incorporated either in schools of a particular
religious denomination or in adjunctive coursework offered by
religious institutions. Regardless of the challenges of each society,
young people must be adequately informed. Also, in some Muslim
communities, individuals are encouraged to marry at young ages. They
need to be educated regarding sexuality prior to the marriage such
that they know what to expect and can consider their options for birth
control prior to consummating the marriage.
Female Genital Mutilation
The practice of clitoridectomy preceded the introduction of Islam in
Arabia and in different parts of Africa. This results in severe sexual
debilitation of women who cannot possibly achieve sexual fulfillment
which is their right as Muslims. Therefore, this practice is totally
unIslamic because it is in direct violation of both Qur'an and hadith
which clearly stress the importance of sexual satisfaction for both
the husband and wife.