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Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Fathwa, - Male and female texting each other

Question:
I wanted to know whether it was permissible in Islam for a male and a
female to text each other. Both want to get married to each other, but
have some issues to tackle e.g. parental consent, cultural barriers...
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Dear Sister,
I pray this message finds you in good health and iman.
It is permissible for a male and female to speak to each other with
the intention of getting married. What is impermissible is for the
male and female to be alone with each other, to have suggestive
conversation, and to have physical contact.
Text chat is not without its problems. I assume you mean instant
messaging via computer or cell phone. This is not the ideal method to
communicate. First, it's way too impersonal to effectively discuss
serious issues. Second, it is akin to a form of khalwa, or seclusion,
considering that there is no third party chaperoning the discussion.
While it may be adviseable to to find some common ground before
approaching your families, exercise caution. A lot of well-intentioned
text messaging starts off innocently enough and then degenerates into
flirtation or worse.
You want to make sure that Islamic adab (decorum) is observed at all times.
As a suggestion, if you've got some issues to tackle before
approaching your families, why not meet the brother in the presense of
the local imam, or a knowledgeable member of the community? That way,
you can talk face to face without fear of impropriety, plus you may
get valuable advice for how to approach your families.

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