Fiqh, - Hajj at home

Every day when I go to pick up my kids at our local Islamic school, I
walk past a large photo image of the Ka'bah, surrounded by swarming
white-clothed pilgrims desperate to have their hearts cleansed and
prayers answered by the All-Mighty Allah. I remember when my oldest
daughter was two, she used to point to the picture and say "Ka'bah" in
cute baby language.
She knew what it was, and I felt some pride as a parent that I was off
to the right start raising a good little Muslimah. Year after year,
our children could tell us, yes, Hajj is one of the five pillars of
Islam. But, what does it mean to them? Can it mean anything more than
just a word? As millions of devoted Muslims take to the air, sea and
land, heading to the Holiest sites, what can we as parents do to make
the beauty and purity of Hajj come to life in our homes? Is it
possible for our children to make a connection with this miraculous
annual planetary event?
Living Hajj character at home
If this sounds like something you would like to do, here are some
ideas. Just before Hajj begins, rent or buy one of those videos on
Hajj and sit down as a family and watch it. Watching Hajj will awaken
an emotional response inside everyone, seeing all of those Muslims
together, praying in unison. Your hearts will yearn to be there,
sharing in this incredible pillar of Islam.
Allah Says )what means(:"…And take provisions, but indeed, the best
provision is fear of Allah. And fear Me, O you of
understanding."]Quran 2:197[
Isn't it amazing that the best provision Allah asks pilgrims to take
on Hajj is right conduct? He Almighty didn't' Say "sincere prayer" or
"give the most charity" or "read the entire Quran" or "perform it
perfectly". He Almighty said "right conduct" to those that are wise.
This verse reaffirms many other Prophetic narrations and Quranic
verses that emphasize the importance of character in the life of a
Muslim. For it is within our characters that the sincerity of our
words and intentions comes to life. If we can sit and memorize Quran
for hours and then fail to smile at our neighbor, where is Islam in
our lives? We know our character ultimately defines our faith. So, why
not, during the Hajj, together as a family sit down and pledge to try
to have the character of a pilgrim? Agree not to argue, raise voices
or lose patience. Each day, sit together and discuss character. Let
each person try to identify in him or herself in what way their
character needs improvement )because of course we all have room to
improve(.
For example, the oldest sibling might recognize she is kind of bossy
and unkind to her younger sister. A mother might admit she shouts too
much when her children aren't listening. A father might realize that
he more easily criticizes than compliments. Then, talk about the
character of the Prophet, sallAllahu alayhi wa sallam, especially how
he, sallAllahu alayhi wa sallam, responded in difficult situations.
The Hajj environment truly tests one's patience, with hours of waiting
in the heat, unimaginable crowds of people pressing each other on in a
sea of human bodies. As you discuss, keep in mind this bottom line on
character:
Each person chooses his/her character. No one "makes" a person do or
say anything; like, "Hamza made me angry!" when in fact, a person has
a choice to become angry or not when faced with antagonizing behavior.
Or, "if you didn't fail that test I wouldn't have to shout at you".
Again the logic is lacking. We cannot put the blame of our poor
character choices onto the actions or words of others. This is what
Muslim character is all about. This is why Allah called such people
wise. The Prophet's, sallAllahu alayhi wa sallam, wisdom in these
manners is unparalleled. When people spat on him, he, sallAllahu
alayhi wa sallam, prayed for their salvation. When people insulted
him, he, sallAllahu alayhi wa sallam, kept quiet. It is these actions
that have enabled his, sallAllahu alayhi wa sallam, message to ring
true in the ears of humanity 1400 years after Islam came to be.
Beautiful, shining, humble character. Nothing on Earth can compare. A
Muslim with such character is like a beacon of hope in a world
infected with hate, killing, greed and materialism. The opportunity
Hajj gives us as parents is to focus on our character, and to work
together as a family to improve ourselves.
Forgiveness
Another hope of all pilgrims is to leave Hajj purified and without
sin. Yet, asking Allah's forgiveness is something we can't live
without every day of our lives. Consciously or not, we as humans are
fallible, and require Allah's mercy to have even the slightest hope to
enter Paradise. Like pilgrims, spend a part of each day during Hajj
sitting together as a family and asking for Allah's forgiveness. Ask
aloud for specific things, for your children to hear your faults, so
they realize you are also a slave of Allah. They will learn from this
humility, and turn it on themselves, Allah willing.
Keep up with the pilgrims
Another way to stay connected to the pilgrims is to do a day-by-day
commentary. Each day, follow along on the Hajj journey and discuss the
significance of each part of the pilgrimage. Tracing through the steps
can be meaningful to children, and certainly helps them to have a
better understanding about Hajj and what goes on there. For younger
ones, you can actually set up a make believe Hajj landscape in your
home, and go through the movements together. Take a large men's work
shirt, and dress yourself and children as pilgrims and go on "Hajj".
For older children, deeper discussions about the underlying
significance of Hajj and each act of it are more appropriate. For the
teenagers, have a Hajj gathering for their friends. Prepare an entire
evening about the Hajj, which can include asking them to act it out.
Use Hajj to breakdown divisions within our own communities
Arabs, Converts, Africans, Americans ...how many ways do we group and
segregate our communities? I can honestly say I sadly have witnessed
real anger and bitter, burning emotions fueled by cultural divisions
between Muslims. I heard them straight from the mouths of my students
and witnessed in my classroom the ugly head of racism veer up and
roar. At first I thought the kids were joking, but it was serious
business—the Arabs vs. the Desis. Without encouragement from parents
and peers, these children would not have yet had the life experience
to feel such deep and dividing emotion. Hajj represents one of the
most precious facets of Islam—humans are equal in the eyes of Allah
except for ways only seen by Him. Use this unifying theme of Hajj to
build a sense of brotherhood )and sisterhood( in the hearts of your
children. Talk about skin color, nationalities, and languages as mere
signs of creation. Teach them the beauty of diversity and the rainbow
of humanity that shines brilliantly nowhere else on Earth as it does
on Hajj.