Abandonment - I

The Muslim society is a harmonious one where love and unity prevail.
The Sharee'ah encourages everything that strengthens the spirit of
brotherhood among members of this society and prohibits anything that
may negatively affect this spirit. One of the negative morals that has
been prohibited by Sharee'ah is abandonment.
The Meaning of Abandonment
Abandonment means forsaking others, and thismay occur in different ways:
- Physically, as mentionedin the Quranic verse where Allaah The
Almighty Says )what means(:}forsake them in bed{]Quran 4:34[
- Morally, by the tongue and heart, as mentioned in the Quranic verse
where Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And the Messenger has
said, "O Lord! Surely, my people have taken to themselvesthis Quran as
a thing abandoned."{]Quran 25:30[
- Physically and morally, as meant in the Quranic verse )which
means(:}And ]endure[ patiently what they ]the disbelievers[ say, and
abandon them with gracious abandonment.{]Quran 73:10[, or as meant in
the Quranic verse )what means(:}And uncleanliness abandon.{]Quran
74:5[
Types of Abandonment and Its Islamic Ruling
In principle, abandoning Muslims is prohibited; however, in some cases
itis permissible. The ruling of abandonment varies according to the
case of the abandoned person.
Abandoning the Wife
Abandoning the wife is permissible in certain cases if she becomes
arrogant or is feared to become so. Allaah The Almighty Says )what
means(:}But those]wives[ from whom you fear arrogance - ]first[ advise
them; ]then if theypersist[, forsake them in bed.{]Quran 4:34[ The
wife is only to be abandoned in bed. This issupported by a Hadeeth on
the authority of Mu'aawiyah ibn Al-Qushayriwhere he said: "I said, 'O
Messengerof Allaah, what right can any wife demand of her husband?' He
replied:'You should feed her when you eat and clothe her when you
clothe yourself. You should not strike her on the face, and do not
revile her or abandon her except in bed.'" ]Abu Daawood, Al-Albaani -
Hasan Saheeh[
Abandoning the wife in bed means not having sexual intercourse with
her and sleeping with one's back turned to her. According to Islamic
scholars, this abandonment should notexceed one month as mentioned by
Al-Qurtubi. Nevertheless, it should be preceded by advising one's wife
and reminding her of Allaah The Almighty. Also, one should clear up
any doubts with his wife leniently and gently. Furthermore, he should
supplicate for her earnestly repeating the supplication that is
mentioned in the verse)what means(:}And those who say, "Our Lord,
grantus from among our wivesand offspring comfort to our eyes and make
us an example for the righteous."{]Quran 25:74[
Abandoning One's Fellow Muslims
Abandoning one's fellow Muslims is a grave major sin if it lasts for
more than three days, and if it is not for a Sharee'ah-approved reason
as this leads to the severing of relations as well as harm and
corruption. This is supported by many Hadeeths like that one onthe
authority of Abu Ayyoob Al-Ansaariwhere the Prophetsaid:"It is not
lawful for aMuslim to abandon his brother for more than three nights
]such that[, when they meet, they turn their backs to each other - and
the better of the two is the one who isthe first to greet the
other."]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
In a Hadeeth on the authority of Abu Hurayrahthe Prophetsaid:"It is
not lawful for a Muslim to abandon his Muslim brother for more than
three days; and whoever does so andthen dies, will enter Hell."]Abu
Daawood, Al-Albaani - Hasan[
In a Hadeeth on the authority of 'Aa'ishahthe Prophetsaid:"It is not
right for a Muslim to abandon another Muslim for more than three
days.Then if he meets him andgives three salutations, receiving during
that time no response, the other bears his sin."]Abu Daawood,
Al-Albaani - Hasan[
In a Hadeeth on the authority of Abu KhiraashAs-Sulamihe said that he
heard the Prophetsay:"Abandoning one's brother for a year is like
shedding his blood."]AbuDaawood, Al-Albaani - Saheeh[
Hence, it is prohibited fora Muslim to abandon his Muslim brother for
more than three days because this leads to social disintegration.
However, there are exceptions to this rule. Abandonment ispermissible
if it would rectify religiously the abandoned person or theone who
abandons; otherwise, it is prohibited. The Prophetand the honorable
Companions abandoned the three who did not join them in Jihaad, for
fifty days until revelation descended and affirmed that their
repentance had been accepted. Allaah The Almighty Says)what
means(:}And ]He also forgave[ the three who were left behind]and
regretted their error[ to the point that the earth closed in on them
in spite of its vastness and their souls confined them and they were
certain that there isno refuge from Allaah The Almighty except in Him.
Then He turned to them so they could repent. Indeed, Allaah The
Almighty is the Accepting of Repentance,the Merciful.{]Quran 9:118[
Abandoning One's Kindred
Abandoning one's kindred is a grave major sin, even if it is for less
than three days, as this implies severing ties of kinship. The
Prophetsaid:"The tie of kinship issuspended from the Throne, and says,
'Whoever maintains me, Allaah will maintain relations with him, but
whosoever severs me, Allaah will sever relationswith him."Also, Allaah
The Almighty commanded us to maintain ties of kinship Saying )what
means(:}And fear Allaah, through whom you ask one another, and the
wombs.{]Quran 4:1[
However, the person who maintains the ties ofkinship is not the one
who does so because his relatives do so with him. One can maintain his
ties of kinship in different ways like giving gifts, visiting, and
sending greetings and letters. Moreover, one can maintain ties of
kinship with his non-Muslim relatives by giving moneyand the like, as
stated by Imaam Al-Khattaabiand others. If one finds any of these ways
difficult for him, then he should adopt another way or the ways that
he is able to since Allaah TheAlmighty does not chargea soul except
with that which is within its capacity. When some people were about to
sever ties of kinship with their non-Muslim relatives because they did
not adopt Islam, Allaah The Almighty revealed )what means(:}Not upon
you, ]O Muhammad[, is]responsibility for[ their guidance, but Allaah
guides whom He wills. And whatever good you]believers[ spend is for
yourselves, and you do not spend except seekingthe countenance of
Allaah. And whatever youspend of good - it will be fully repaid to
you, and you will not be wronged.{]Quran 2:272[
Moreover, Allaah The Almighty commands us tobe dutiful to our parents
even if they are disbelievers for He Says)what means(:}But if they
endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no
knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in ]this[ world with
appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me
]in repentance[. Then to Me will be your return,and I will Inform you
about what you used to do.{]Quran 31:15[
Imaam Ath-Thahabiconsidered severing ties of kinship as a grave major
sin, regardless of the reason why it is done.