Spite

Spite is a heavy burden that the person carries which results in his
own misery, occupies his thinking, ruins his mind and adds to his
grief and anxiety. The strange thing is that ignorant people insist on
carrying this heavy evil load, until they satisfy their ego andtake
revenge from the one whom they hate and envy.
Spite eats much of the virtue that might be in person's heart and
increases by growing on such virtue and thus causing it to eventually
vanish.
The meaning of spite:
Looking at spite, we see that it consists of severe hatred and the
desire to take revenge added together in the heart of amalicious
person until the time comes when he can attack the one against whom he
holds a grudge. Therefore, spite is to conceal enmity in the heart and
await the opportunity to get back at the one towards whom malice is
felt.
Allaah praised the believers whose hearts are pure and free from
bearing hatred towards other believers when He Says )what means(:"For
thepoor emigrants who were expelled from their homes and their
properties, seeking bounty from Allah and ]His[ approval and
supporting Allah and His Messenger, ]there is also a share[.Those are
the truthful. And ]also for[ those who were settled in the Home ]i.e.
Al-Madeenah[ and]adopted[ the faith before them)before the settlement
of the emigrants )Muhaajireen( among the Ansaar, for whom a share is
delegated as well(. They love those who emigrated to them and find not
any want in their breasts of what they ]i.e. the emigrants[ were given
but give]them[ preference over themselves, even though they arein
privation. And whoever is protected from the stinginess of his soul —
it is those who will be the successful. And ]there is a share for[
those who came after them, saying, "Our Lord, forgive us and our
brothers who preceded us in faith and put not in our hearts ]any[
resentment toward those who have believed. Our Lord, indeed You are
Kind and Merciful."]Quran: 59: 8-10[.
One's heart might get weak and thus he might dislike or even hate a
certain person sometimes. Nonetheless, this feeling does not remain
permanently in the heart of the believer to the extent that it turns
into spite. Rather, such feelings pass on, as a wayfarer passes
through a village during his journey, but soon these feelings
disappear and vanish, because a believer is bonded to other believers
by the strong bond of "Brotherhood in Faith". The believer's emotions
of brotherhood gush forth with love and mercy towards his brothers in
faith … thus, could it be imagined thatsuch nice feelings would
coexist with spite in one person's heart?
The ruling of spite:
Some scholars consideredspite to be one of the inner great major sins
which one must be far above committing and must repent to Allaah.
The cure of spite:
Treating spite lies in getting rid of the main reason that causes it,
which is anger. When you become angry and can not control your anger
by being tolerant or by reminding yourself with the virtue of
suppressing your anger, then you are harboring feelings of spite which
require struggle against yourself.
A person must warn himself against the consequences of taking revenge,
and he must remember that The Power of Allaah and ability are, by far,
greaterthan his. One must remind himself that the command is in The
Handsof Allaah and no one can escape His command or decree.
If it happens that a person cannot suppress his feelings and they
reached the state of spite, then he must force himself to act contrary
to the implications of these feelings. Thus, he could praise the
person whom he hates instead of dispraising him and be humble with him
instead of being arrogant. Furthermore, one must put himself in the
other person's place and remember that he would like people to deal
with him gently and must thusstrive to deal with the other person in
the manner that he would like to be dealt with.
One of the useful means by which this disease may be cured is for the
hated person )if he transgressed( to refrain from his evil and reform
himself. He must remember that he will never be able to eradicate this
ill feeling)spite( from the other person's heart towards him unless he
does what makes that person feel secure and relaxed towards him.
Additionally, he must try to reconcile and ease the heart of the other
party who feels spiteful.
On the other hand, the wronged person who harbors spite must, in
return, accept the apology and excuse of the one who wronged him …
this is how spite and ill feelings die out and fade away, and love
comes in its place.
The evil consequences of spite:
Some scholars said: "The corruption of the heart by means of hatred is
a lethal inveterate disease, and faith escapes such hearts just as
liquid leaks from a cracked jug".
Satan might despair frommaking a wise man worship idols, but he is
keen to divert and misguide man and lead him to destruction. Satan
will not fail to distance a person from his Lord, to the point that
such a person becomes more ignorant of his Lord's right than an
idolater.
To keep a person away from his Lord, Satan uses tricks like enflaming
hatred in the heart towards his fellow Muslims. Once this fire is
ignited, Satan sits back and enjoys watching this fire burn his
present life and future, and eating away his virtues. This is so,
because when evil controls the spiteful heart, the person becomes
hardhearted and stubborn, and he severs the ties which Allaah
commanded to be maintained and spreads corruption upon the earth.
Spite is the source for many evil acts that Islam has warned against.
Falsely accusing the innocent is a crime that only extreme hatred
stimulates and Islam has considered this to be oneof the worse acts of
falsehood.
Backbiting is the way a spiteful person releases his hatred, and that
reflects the lack of mercy in his heart. Moreover, Islam has
prohibited and warned against all the implications of spite, such as,
ill-thinking of others, tracing their faults, mocking and defaming
them.
Spiteful people's hearts boil with hatred because they look in this
life to see that they have missedout on what they wished to have while
others possessed it. This is the greatest problem that continuously
gives them the feeling of apprehension. By doing so, such people
follow in the footsteps of Satan, who envied Aadam because he was
granted the position which he)i.e. Satan( desired for himself.
This satanic feeling is what boils in the hearts of spiteful people
and corrupts their hearts to the point that they lose their
determination. It would have been better for them to turn towards
their Lord and ask Him from His bounties and strive to attain what the
others have attained. Theblessings of Allaah are endless and they are
limited to certain people,and hoping to attain what Allaah has whilst
utilizing all permissible means, is the only lawful thing to do when
one sees others blessed with favors from Allaah … There is a big
difference between envy and ambition.
Having a pure heart … the way toParadise:
Allaah Has described the people of Paradise who will have an eternal
pleasure as people who are free from spite and envy, and if they had
ever experienced any such feelings in this life, then they will be
purifiedfrom these feelings before being admitted into Paradise, as
Allaah says )what means(;"And We will have removed whatever is within
their hearts of spite )i.e. ill will or sense of injury for what was
inflicted upon them during worldly life(".
This quality of having pure hearts when dealing with others, was one
reason for which some of the companions of the Prophetwere given glad
tidings ofParadise. Anas Ibn Maaliknarrated: "We were sitting with the
Prophetonce when he said:"A man from the dwellers of Paradise will
walk in now"so a man from the Ansaar )i.e. residents of Madeenah(
walked in whose beard was dripping from the effect of ablution and who
held his slippers with his left hand. The next day the Prophetsaid the
same thing, and the same man walked in. On the third day the
Prophetsaid the same thing, and the same man once again walked in.
When the Prophetleft the gathering, 'AbdullaahIbn 'Amr followed that
man and said to him: `I had a misunderstanding with my father and
swore not to stay in his house three nights, so if you permit me I
would like to spend these three nights with you` The mansaid: `Yes, I
permit you`" Anasadded: "'Abdullaah Ibn 'Amr told us that he spent
three nights and did not noticethat the man prayed the optional night
prayers during any of these nights, but if he woke up during the
night, he would simply mention Allaah. Nonetheless, I never heard him
utter except good things, so when the three nights finished, I almost
belittled his deeds )as they were insignificant( and I said to him: `O
slaveof Allaah! There was not dispute between me and my father or
anger, but I heard the Prophetsaying thrice:"A man from the dwellers
of Paradise will walkin now"and you walked in all three times, so I
wanted to sleep in your place to see what you do in order to imitate
you, but I did not see that you exert extra effort in performing any
extra deeds. How did you reach such status to deserve what the
Prophetsaid about you?` He replied: `My deeds are nothing more than
what you saw` Thenwhen I left, he called me back in and said: `My
deeds are nothing more than what you saw, but the only thing I do is
that I do not hold any grudge against any Muslim nor envy anyone for
what bounties Allaah as granted them`" thereupon 'Abdullaah Ibn'Amr
said to him: "This is what granted you this rank".
Beloved Muslim brother! Ponder upon the following words that were
stated by one of thescholars: "There is nothing more relaxing and
relieving to one's grief, and there is nothing more comfortingto him
than living whilst having a pure heart that is clear from all whispers
and spite. If he sees a bounty being granted to others he shows
content with what he has, and realized the need of humans for their
Lord. If he sees evil afflicting others, he expresses sympathy and
supplicatesAllaah to relieve them from their hardship and forgive
their sins. This is how a Muslim lives his life with his record of
deeds clear from evil, pleased with what Allaah has granted him,
content with his life, relaxed in his heart, free from spite that
blinds people from seeing the truth".