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Friday, June 7, 2013

Dought & Clear - Ruling on disputes and the virtue of reconciling between two disputing parties.

In our class we have twoclassmates who were not speaking to one
another during Ramadaan, and they have been like that for a long time.
My relationship with them isnot strong, but I want to reconcile
between them so that I may attain the reward of reconciling between
people, and I want a letter that I can write to them, but I am afraid
of dealing with them face to face. I hopethat my letter will earn your
attention.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
What you are keen to dois one of the noblest of attitudes.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"So fear Allaah and adjust all matters of difference among you, and
obey Allaah and His Messenger (Muhammad),if you are believers"
[al-Anfaal 8:1]
"There is no good in most of their secret talks save (in) him who
ordersSadaqah (charity in Allaah's Cause), or Ma'roof (Islamic
Monotheism and all the good and righteous deeds which Allaah has
ordained), or conciliation between mankind; and he who does this,
seeking the good Pleasure of Allaah, We shall give him a great reward"
[al-Nisa' 4:114]
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us that
reconciling between people is better than observing voluntary fasts,
offering voluntary prayers and giving voluntary charity.
It was narrated that Abu'l-Darda' (may Allaah be pleased with him)
said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: "Shall I not tell you something that is better than the
status of (voluntary) fasting, prayer and charity?" They said: "Yes."
He said: "Reconciling in a case of discord, for the evil of discord is
the shaver." Al-Tirmidhi said: It was narrated that the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "It is the shaver, and I do
not say that it shaves hair, but that it shaves (i.e., destroys)
religious commitment."
Narrated by Abu Dawood, 4273; al-Tirmidhi, 2433. classedas hasan by
al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Tirmidhi.
Islam has permitted telling lies in order to achieve this great
purpose. So it is permissible for you to tell each party that the
other has said good things about them and praised them so as to
encourage reconciliation. This does not come under the heading of lies
that are haraam.
It was narrated from Umm Kalthoom bint 'Uqbah ibn Abi Mu'eet that she
heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) say: "He is not a liar who seeks to reconcile between people and
says good things." Narrated by al-Bukhaari,2490
Secondly:
For Muslims to forsake one another is a haraam action. You can remind
both parties of the texts which indicate that. These include the
following:
From the Holy Qur'aan:
(a) The verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And obey Allaah and HisMessenger, and do not dispute (with one
another) lest you lose courage and your strength departs, and
bepatient. Surely, Allaah is with those who are As‑Saabiroon (the
patient)"
[al-Anfaal 8:46]
(b) The verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And hold fast, all of you together, to the Rope of Allaah (i.e. this
Qur'aan), and be not divided among yourselves, and remember Allaah's
Favour on you, for you were enemies one to another but He joined your
hearts together, so that, by His Grace, you became brethren (in
Islamic Faith), and you were on the brink of a pit of Fire, and He
saved you from it. Thus Allaah makes His Ayaat (proofs, evidences,
verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.,) clear toyou, that you may
be guided"
[Aal 'Imraan 3:103]
From the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him):
(a) It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with
him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "Do not hate one another, do not envy one another, do not
turnaway from one another. Be, O slaves of Allaah, brothers. It is not
permissible for a Muslim to forsake his brother for more than three
days."
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6065; Muslim, 2559.
(b) It was narrated thatAbu Ayyoob al-Ansaari (may Allaah be
pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: "It is notpermissible for a Muslim to forsake his
brother for more than three days, each of them turning away when
theymeet. The better of themis the one who gives the greeting of
salaam first."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari,2757; Muslim, 2560.
(c) It was narrated thatAbu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with
him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "The gates of Paradise are opened on Monday and Thursday, and
everyone who does not associate anything with Allaah is forgiven,
except a man who has had an argument with his brother. It is said:
'Wait for these two until they reconcile, wait for these two until
they reconcile, wait for these two until they reconcile." Narrated by
Muslim, 2565.
Al-Nawawi said: "Wait for these two" means wait until they have
reconciled and love has been restored between them.
(d) It was narrated from Abu Kharaash al-Sulami that he heard the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say:
"Whoever forsakes his brother for a year, it is as if he has shed his
blood." Narrated by Abu Dawood, 4915. Classed assaheeh by al-Albaani
in Saheeh al-Targheeb, 2762.
These texts indicate that it is forbidden for a Muslim to forsake his
brother by not greeting him with salaam and by turning away from him
for more than three days, so long as that forsaking is not for a
shar'i reason and is not being done in order to achieve some purpose,
in which case it is permissible to forsake him for more than three
days.
See also question no. 21878
You have to remind these two disputing parties of these verses and
ahaadeeth. Try to reconcile their points of view, and encourage them
to forget their differences. You could address each of them directly,
or you could write these texts on a piece of paper and give it to them
to read.
We ask Allaah to help you to do that which is good.
And Allaah knows best.

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