Ingratitude towards parents

"Say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them
in terms of honour." [Quran 17:23]
In Islam, it is obligatory for us to show kindness, respect, and
obedience to our parents. The position of parents, and the mutual
obligations and responsibilities, havebeen addressed in Islam in great
detail. In fact, kindness and obedience is so strongly emphasizedthat
Allaah has linked showing gratitude to one's parents with showing
gratitude to Allaah. In the Noble Quran, Almighty Allaah Says (which
means):
"And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail
upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his
weaning: (hear thecommand), "Show gratitude to Me and to your parents:
to Me is (your final) return." [Quran 31:14]
Sadly, we are living in a time where children speaking disrespectfully
to their parents and about their parents, is the norm rather than the
exception. However, Islam places great emphasis on respectful and
considerate behaviour to even our enemies, so to not uphold the
obligations laid down by Allaah to our parents is actually one of the
major sins.
In the Quran
Let's see what the Quran says about parents. "This is the Book; in it
is guidance sure, without doubt, to those who fearAllaah." [Quran
2:02]
Treat parents with honour and speak to them graciously and with humility
Allaah Says (which means):
"Your Lord hath decreed that youworship none but Him, and that you be
kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your
life, say not to them aword of contempt, nor repel them, but address
them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing
of humility, and say: My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy even as they
cherished me in childhood." [Quran 17:23]
Be grateful to parents but do not obey them if they strive to make you
associate anything with Allaah
Allaah also Says (which means):
"...Be grateful to Me and to both your parents; to Me is the eventual
coming. But if they strive to make thee join in worship with Me things
of which you have no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company
in this life with justice (and consideration), and follow the way of
those who turn to Me (in love): in the end the return of you all is to
Me, then will I informyou of what you did." [Quran 31:15]
These verses make it clear that we must honour our parents, appreciate
their sacrifices and efforts for us, and do our best for them. This is
required regardless of whether they are Muslims or not.
Be good to parents and everyone whom you meet
The Quran states (which means):
"Worship Allaah, and join not anypartners with Him; and do good- to
parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbours who are near,
neighbours who are strangers, the companion by yourside, the wayfarer
(ye meet), and what your right hands possess: For Allaah loves not the
arrogant,the vainglorious." [Quran 4:36]
If the Quran tells us to be good to a stranger, then how can we even
think of disrespecting our parents?
Hadeeth
Let's see what Prophet Muhammad said aboutparents in the authentic
Hadeeth (narrations). Almighty Allaah Says (which means):
"Whatsoeverthe Prophet gives you, take it andwhatsoever he forbids
you, refrain from it." [Quran 59:7]
Undutifulness to parents is a major sin
Anas narrated from Prophet Muhammad about the major sins. He (the
Prophet) observed: 'Associating anyone (or anything)with Allaah,
undutifulness to parents, killing a person and falseutterance.'
[Muslim]
One of the dearest deeds to Allaah is being good and dutiful to parents
'Abdullaah Ibn Mas'ood narrated: I asked the Prophet "Which deed is
thedearest to Allaah?" He replied,"To offer the prayers at their early
stated fixed times." I asked,"What is the next (in goodness)?"He
replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents" [Al-Bukhaari]
Being dutiful to parents is one of the keys to enter Paradise
Abu Hurayrah reported Prophet Muhammad as saying: Let him be humbled
into dust; let him be humbled into dust; let him be humbled into dust.
It wassaid: O Allaah's Messenger, who ishe? He said: He who
accompanieseither of his parents during their old age or one of them,
but he does not enter Paradise (by beingundutiful to them). [Muslim]
Acts of kindness we can do for our parents after their death
A man of the tribe of Salamah came to ProphetMuhammad and said: 'O
Apostle of Allaah! Is there any kindness left that I can do to my
parents after their death?' He replied: 'Yes, you can invoke blessings
on them, forgiveness for them, fulfill their promises and pledges (to
do righteous deeds), maintain ties with kinfolkfor the mere reason of
being dutiful to them (i.e. parents), andhonour their friends.' [Abu
Daawood]
The High Status given to Mothers
A man came to the Prophet and asked him for permission to fight
Jihaad. The Prophet asked him if he had a mother, and when he replied
affirmatively, he said, "Stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet
(i.e. she is the way leading to it)." [Ahmad]
Summary
Sometimes we may take our parents for granted and overlook their
importance. As Muslims, we should constantly be alert to guard
ourselves from sins; however, are we guarding ourselves from one of
the biggest major sins? Are we honouring and respecting our parents
asper their right? Or are weneglecting one of the dearest deeds to
Allaah?
Right now the choice is ours!
We ask Allaah the Most High, the All-Powerful, to teach us that which
will benefit us, and to benefitus by that which we learn.