How to gain self-confidence

Self-confidence is the way to success in life, whereas, falling down
under the pressure of negativity, hesitation, worryand uncertainty
about one's abilities, is the beginning of failure. Much potential was
wasted and lost because their owners did not realize the value of the
abilities that Allaah The Exalted had bestowed on them. Had they
properly utilized them, they would have achieved many things. Here are
some steps one can take to discard many of the negative ideas and
feelings in life,whether they are in thoughts, behavior, morals,
habits or words. These steps would help one relieve himself of such
thoughts and feelings, free himself of their effect and receivelife
with more self-confidence and shining hopes. These steps are:
1- With neither partiality nor exaggeration, determine the most
important negative thoughts and characteristics in your life.
2- Think of every thought or characteristic separately.
3- Try to think about every thought or characteristic in a logical and
analytical way that leads you to know its causes and its true nature.
You must know whether it is indeed a reality or a mere illusion and
fantasy.
4- If it is a mere illusion, you should free yourself from it;
otherwise, you should try to discard its causes and minimize itas much
as possible. Moreover, you should know that the more deeply-rooted the
characteristic is, the more effort and time required for it to be
discarded.
5- In moments of serenity that are free from distractions and worries,
try to connect your mindand thoughts with an important positive
situation in a focused manner. Recall all the details of that
situation with voice, image, feelings, and all the surrounding
atmosphere. When you reach the peak of mental activity, psychological
relief and cheerfulness of the heart and youfeel that you are far away
from reality, try to say 'Allaahu Akbar ' (Allaah is the Greatest),
'Subhaan Allaah' (Glory be to Allaah), and Laa ilaaha illa Allaah
(There is no god but Allaah) along with making a particular motion
with your finger. This situation, for example, could be the news of
your success, your wedding day, a night that you spent in worshipping
Allaah The Almighty,hearing good news concerning the Muslims or the
first day whenyou saw one of the two Holy Mosques.
6- Repeat this many times until this positive situation with all its
feelings as well as its psychological and emotional consequences is
automatically connected with this signal. You should try this until
you reach thestate that when you make this signal, you will
automatically findyourself transferred to this positive psychological
state, even if you did not remember the material situation that caused
it.
7- When any negative feelings or thoughts occurs to you in any
situation, you should close your eyes for a while and discard
thesethoughts. Then try to imagine that there is a notice board before
you with the word "STOP" written on it. Contemplate this word for a
while and look at it repeatedly as if you can not see anything else.
8- Go beyond this word with youreyes and try to imagine that there are
flourishing gardens, floating rivers, singing birds and a gentle
breeze behind it. Keeping your eyes closed; try to enjoy all this for
a while.
First and foremost, however, one must resort to Allaah The Almighty
because it is He who makes one laugh and weep. Hence, you have to
repent and ask for the forgiveness of Allaah The Almighty and
constantly remember Him to revive your heart.