Daughters in Islam -I

Allaah Almighty says (what means): "To Allaah belongs the dominion of
the heavens and the earth; He creates what Hewills. He gives to whom
He wills female [children], and He gives to whom He wills males. Or He
makes them [both] males and females, and He renders whom He wills
barren. Indeed, He isKnowing and Competent." [Quran 49:50] Allaah is
the One, based on His ultimate wisdom, who grants whomever He wills
sons and daughters; He grants sons only to whomever He wills, and
grants daughters only to whomever He wills, and if He so wills, He
makes whomever He wills infertile.
We notice in the above verse that the mention ofdaughters preceded
that of sons, and the scholars commented on this saying: "This is to
heartendaughters and encourage kindness towards them, because many
fathers feel burdened by receiving a daughter. The common practice of
the people during the pre-Islamic era was to hate receivingdaughters,
to the extent that they would bury them alive; therefore, it isas if
Allaah is saying to people: `This inferior child in your estimation
takes precedence in My scale.' He also mentions daughters first to
indicate their weakness, and that they are therefore more deserving of
care and attention."
Such honouring of daughters is the complete opposite of how people
were accustomed to dealing with females in the pre-Islamic era, when
they would degrade women and consider them a part of their wealth, and
if news of a baby girl would come to any of them, it would be as if he
was hit by a thunderstorm; Allaah says(what means): which means: "And
when one ofthem is informed of [the birth of] a female, his face
becomes dark, and he suppresses grief. He hides himself from the
people because of the ill of which he has been informed. Should he
keep it in humiliation or bury it in the ground? Unquestionably, evil
is what they decide." [Quran 58:59]
It is said that some enemies of Qays ibn 'Aasim At-Tameemi, who was a
pre-Islamic Arab, attacked his premises and captured his daughter.
Later, one of these enemies married her. After some time, the clan of
Qays and that of his enemies reconciled, so they gave this daughter of
his the freedom to go back to her father or remain withher husband,
and she preferred to stay with her husband. At that point, Qays took a
pledgeupon himself to bury alive any new daughter that he would
receive, and the Arabs imitated him after that. It was, therefore,
this man who introduced this evil practice, and thus he will shoulder
his own sin as well as the sin of all thosewho did it thereafter.
One of the companions who had killed his daughter in the era that
preceded Islam narrated his story: "We would worship idols in the
pre-Islamic era and kill our daughters. I had a daughter, who, when
shewas old enough to comprehend and talk, would rejoice whenever she
saw me and would immediately respond. One day, I called her and told
her to follow me, so she did, until we reacheda well that belonged to
my tribe. I then took her by her hand and threw her in the well, and
the last thing I heard her cry was: 'O father! O father!'"
(Ad-Daarimi)
During the era that preceded Islam, there were two methods that people
used to kill their daughters:
· At the time of the delivery of the child, a man would order his wife
to give birth next to a hole dug in the ground;if the newborn was a
male, she would return home with him, otherwise, she would throw her
into the pit and bury her alive, or:
· When the daughter reached six years of age, the man would tell his
wife to adorn and perfume her, then he would take her to a well in the
desert and tell her to look down into the well; when she would do
this, he would push her into it from behind.
There were some men among these people whowould forbid such acts, such
as Sa'sa'ah ibn Naajiyah At-Tameemi, who would go to those attempting
to kill their daughter offering moneyto ransom their lives.
There are people nowadays who share these same pre-Islamic beliefs; if
they are granted only girls, which is of course something decreed only
by Allaah, they become angry, discontent and grieved.
With the advent of Islam, the darkness of that era vanished and Allaah
enjoined kindness, love and compassion towards girls. Taking good care
ofgirls was encouraged, as was giving them special attention in the
process of their upbringing. In fact, Islam has designateda special
reward for raising them that is not granted for raising sons. Anas
reported that theProphet said: "He who raises two daughters until
their puberty will bewith me in Paradise like this" , and he
symbolized the proximity by showingtwo of his fingers with a slight
gap between them." (Muslim)
`Aa'ishah related: "A woman by the name of Jameelah came to me with
her two daughters. She asked me for charity but found nothing with me
except a date, which Igave her. She divided it between her two
daughters and ate nothing herself; then, shegot up and left. After
this,the Messenger of Allaah came, so I narrated this story to him; he
said: "He who is involved (in the responsibility) of (nurturing)
daughters and is generous to them, will have them as a fortification
for himself against the Hellfire." (Al-Bukhaari & Muslim) In another
narration of this incident, `Aa'ishah related: "A poor woman came to
me with her two daughters. I gave her three dates; she gave each of
them a date and was about to eat the third one when one of her
daughters asked her for it, so she divided it between her two
daughters and ate nothing herself, and I liked what she did. After
this, the Messenger of Allaah came, so I told him what she did, and he
said: 'Allaah obligated Paradise for her due to this date, and (also)
freedher from Hell.'" (Muslim)
Pay close attention to wording of the followingnarration: the Prophet
said: "He who is tested by(the guardianship) of daughters…." Why did
he use the word: "…tested…" ? He said it because raising them is a
responsibility and a test from Allaah to see how His slave would act:
Will he be kind to them? Will he raise them correctly?
The nature of this responsibility was furtherclarified in other
narrations, such as: "If he patiently feeds them and endows them with
clothing …" (Ibn Maajah).,and: "…Provides for them and marries them
off…" (At-Tabaraani)., and: "…Properly raises them and fears Allaah in
the manner in which he deals with them." (At-Tirmithi)
This is what is required when dealing with daughters: kindness, which
results in Paradise,as the Prophet said: "Whoever Allaah has given two
daughters andis kind towards them, will have them as a reason for him
to be admitted into Paradise ." And: "Whoever Allaah hasgiven three
daughters and he perseveres through raising them, will have them as a
shieldfor him from the Hellfire on the Day of Resurrection."
A daughter is a great bounty and an honour granted by Allaah,
ImaamAl-Hasan said: "Girls are a source of reward and sons are a
blessing; rewards are in one's favour (on the Day of Judgement)
whereas onewill be held accountable for blessings."
Thus, it is incorrect to believe that one has been humiliated by being
granted a girl; rather it is an honour, a bounty and a gate towards
Paradise . Daughters are a greate responsibility to rear, and entail
greater expenditure, and this is why the reward for raising them
correctly is greater than that for a son.
Once, one of the leaders of the believers was receiving people when a
small daughter of his entered the room, so he kissed her; a Bedouin
was also in attendance and saw this, so he mentioned daughters in a
very evil manner. A wise man who was also present witnessed all of
this and therefore said: "O leader of the believers! Do not listen
tohim. I swear by Allaah, that it is they (i.e., girls) who stay up to
care for the sick in the family, who show mercy towards the elders,
and who stand next to men during hardships."
A man was granted a baby girl, so he became angry and isolated himself
from his wife for a long time, and after few months, he overheard his
wife reciting the verse (which means): "…But perhaps you hate a thing
and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for
you…" [Quran 2:216]
How many girls have been far more merciful and beneficial to their
parents than their brothers? How many times has a son been a source of
grief for his parents, to the point that they wished he was never
born?
Why do we raise this topic now? It is due to the vicious attacks on
theMuslims under the pretext of defending 'women's rights' which isin
reality an evil attempt to play on the emotions of women so that they
will become rebellious towards their fathers andhusbands, and to
encourage them to leave their homes and demand their 'freedom'. This
is a gate towards evil and immorality which gradually attracts
womenand then traps them in prohibitions. One cause of girls falling
into this is people neglecting their daughters and undermining their
rights,which makes them easily fall into the traps of the hypocritical
writers and columnists, male and female, who wish to see corruption
prevail.
It is enough of an honourfor girls that the Prophetsmay Allaah exalt
their mention, had daughters and that most of the children of our
beloved Prophet were daughters, namely: Zaynab, Ruqayyah, Umm Kalthoom
and Faatimah