Sins of the Tongue - , Ruling on reviling someone in secret.

Is it permissible to revile someone, but in my ownheart and secretly,
in such a way that no one knows that I reviled So and so, such as if I
said to myself, "O So and so, O..., Why did you do such and such to me?"
Am I sinning if I do that?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Reviling and impugning may be either justifiable or unjustifiable.
Firstly:
If it is justifiable, such as if a Muslim is wronged inan obvious
manner, or isharmed in a way that cannot be denied, then there is
nothing wrong with warding off harm and enmity from oneself by
reviling and impugning, whether that is done secretly or openly,
without transgressing or overstepping the mark, although it is better
not to do that.
Allah, may He be exalted,says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Allaah does not like thatthe evil should be uttered in public except
by him who has been wronged. And Allaah is Ever All-Hearer,
All-Knower"
[an-Nisa' 4:148].
As-Sa'di (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Here Allah tells us that Hedoes not like evil to be uttered in public,
i.e., He hates that, dislikes it andpunishes for it. That includes all
bad words that may cause hurt and make people sad, such as reviling,
slandering, impugning and so on. Allof that comes under the heading of
forbidden things that Allah hates.
What is implied is that Allah loves good kinds ofspeech such as dhikr
andkind and gentle words.
"except by him who has been wronged" means, it is permissible for him
to pray against the one who has wronged him, and to make a
complaintabout him. He may speakout openly against the one who uttered
evil against him publicly, without telling lies about him and without
going any further in wrongdoing than he did. And he should not
overstep the mark and revile anyone other thanthe one who wronged him.
Yet despite that forgiving him and not responding in kind is
preferable, as Allah says: "but whoever forgives and makes
reconciliation, his reward is with Allaah"[ash-Shoora 42:40]. End
quote.
Tayseer al-Kareem ar-Rahmaan, p. 212.
Allah, may He be exalted,says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And indeed whosoever takes revenge after he has suffered wrong, for
such there is no way (of blame) against them.
42. The way (of blame) isonly against those who oppress men and rebel
in the earth without justification; for such there will be a painful
torment"
[ash-Shoora 42:41-42].
It was narrated from AbuHurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that
the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
said:
"When two people revileone another, the sin of what they say is on the
one who started it, so long as the one who is wronged does not
overstep the mark.". Narrated by Muslim, 2587.
The best supplication that the one who is wronged may offer concerning
the wrongdoer is that whichwas narrated from the Prophet (blessings
and peace of Allah be upon him) by Jaabir (may Allahbe pleased with
him) who said: The Messengerof Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) used to say: "O Allah, correct my hearingand my sight, and
allow me to retain them until I die. Lead me to victory over those who
have done me injustice and allow me to see vengeance."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/226; classed as saheeh
by al-Albaani. See ad-Du'aa' by at-Tabaraani, 1/421-426
Al-Khateeb ash-Sharbeeni (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
If one person reviles another, it is permissiblefor the one who was
reviled to revile him back as much as he reviled him, because Allah,
may He be exalted,says (interpretation of the meaning): "The
recompense for an evil isan evil like thereof" [ash-Shoora 42:40]. It
is not permissible for him to revile his father or mother. It was
narrated that when Zaynab reviled 'Aa'ishah, the Prophet (blessings
and peace of Allah be upon him) said to her - as narrated in Sunan Ibn
Maajah and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani: "You should say something
to defend yourself." ['Aa'ishah said:] So I turned on her,until I saw
that her mouth had become dry, and she did not say anything back to
me. And I saw the Prophet (S) with his face shining. Rather all that
is permitted is reviling which does not involve lying or slander, such
as saying, "O wrongdoer" or "O fool", because hardly anyone is free
from these descriptions. Once a person has stood up to defend himself
by reviling the one who reviled him, then the matter is settled and
the first person is in the clear, but he has the sin of initiating the
exchange and the sin of transgressing the limits set by Allah.
End quote.
Mughni al-Muhtaaj, 4/157
But it is far better and closer to perfection to forgive, pardon and
overlook, in the hope that Allah will pardon us on the Day of
Resurrection, for the recompense will fit the nature of the deed.
Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
"The recompense for an evil is an evil like thereof; but whoever
forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is with Allaah. Verily,
He likes not the Zaalimoon (oppressors, polytheists, and wrongdoers)"
[ash-Shoora 42:40].
And the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "O
'Uqbah ibn 'Aamir, uphold ties with those who cut you off, give to
those who withhold from you, and forgive those who wrong you."
Narrated by Ahmad, 4/158; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani, as-Silsilah
as-Saheehah, 891
It was narrated that 'Aa'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said
that a blanket of hers was stolen, and she started to pray against the
one who had stolen it. The Prophet (blessingsand peace of Allah be
upon him) said: "Do not reduce his burden of sin by making du'aa'
against him."
Narrated by Abu Dawood, 1497; classed assaheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh
at-Targheeb, 2468
There are also reports from the Taabi'een that point to the
superiority of forgiving and overlooking in this world.
Al-Haytham ibn Mu'aawiyah said:
Whoever is wronged and does not retaliate inword or deed, and does not
bear resentment in his heart, that will be hislight among people. End
quote. Narrated by al-Bayhawi in Shu'ab al-Eemaan, 6/264
Secondly:
If the reviling and impugning is done unlawfully, i.e., as a result of
personal resentment or hatred based on malicious envy (hasad), or
because one dislikes a person's appearance, lineage, conduct or
anything elsethat results in people reviling and insulting others,
this is something that is clearly forbidden and comes under the
heading of slips of the tongue that consume (i.e., wipe out) good
deeds and incur punishment for bad deeds, whether it is done secretly
or openly.
It was narrated from 'Abdullah ibn Mas'ood (may Allah be pleased with
him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:
"Insulting a Muslim is an evil action and fighting him is kufr."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari,no. 48; Muslim, 64.
It was also narrated from him (may Allah be pleased with him) that the
Prophet (sa) said: "The believer is not given to insulting, cursing a
great deal, obscene talk or foul speech."
Narrated by at-Tirmidhi, 1977; he said: it is hasan ghareeb. It was
classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh at-Tirmidhi.
Al-Mubaarakfoori (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
"The believer" means: the perfect believer
"is not given to insulting" i.e., criticizing people
"or cursing a great deal"i.e., cursing excessively, because the
perfect believer can hardly be free from some shortcomings
"obscene talk" i.e., he does not commit obscene actions or utter
obscene speech ??? next 2 lines
"or foul speech" al-Qaari said: this refers to the one who has no shame.
End quote.
Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi, 6/111
Thirdly:
If the reviling or impugning occurs in one's heart or mind, such as a
thought that crosses the mind without one meaning it to or uttering it
out loud- rather it is some passing thought or whispers that may come
to mind about reviling So and so, but he does not pay attention to it
orresolve to do it - then this comes under the heading of passing
thoughts that are forgiven, in sha Allah, because the Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Allah has forgiven
my ummah for what crosses their minds so long as they do not act upon
it or speak of it."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari,4968l Muslim, 127
But there is the fear that of these thoughts become persistent and
settle in the heart, they may come under the heading of deeds of the
heart for which a personwill be brought to account.
Al-Qaasimi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
As for the effects of anger on the heart, such as resentment,
maliciousenvy, wishing ill, rejoicing in the misfortunes of another,
begrudging his happiness, resolving to spread his secrets and
transgress his privacy, making fun of him, and other evil actions,
these are the fruits of excessive anger.
End quote from Tahdheeb Maw'izat al-Mu'mineen, 312.
Al-Ghazaali (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
It should be noted that thinking bad things is haraam, just like
saying bad things. Just as it is haraam for you to say bad things
about another person, you do not have the right to think bad things
about your brother and think negatively of him. What Imean is when one
formsa solid idea and decides that another person is bad and evil. As
for passing thoughts, they are forgiven. Thinking here refers to what
one focuses on and is inclined towards.
End quote.
Ihya' 'Uloom ad-Deen, 3/150. See also al-Adhkaar by an-Nawawi, 344
And Allah knows best.