Protective Jealousy is the Characteristic of the Noble - I

Protective jealousy is an innate noble characteristic upon which a
sound person whom Allaah has honored and favored was created. Islam
elevated the rank of this sublime trait and laudably mentioned it to
the extent that it considers defending one's honor and being
protectively jealous about inviolable matters a type of Jihaad. For
this, a person may offer everything and sacrifice his soul, and such a
person would be at the same rank as the martyr in Paradise. It was
narrated on the authorityof Sa'eed ibn Zayd that he said, "I heard the
Prophet saying: 'A person who is killed while protecting his property
is a martyr, a person who is killed while defending his life is a
martyr, a person whois killed while defending his religion is a
martyr, and a person who is killed while defending his family is a
martyr.'
"
The Meaning of Protective Jealousy
It is a change in the state of the heart and feelings of anger that
arise due toa person's feeling that others might share or aspire to
share something that he owns. This feeling appears among the spouses.
Both men and women share this instinct, although theprotective
jealousy of women is greater. This feeling becomes more intense when
the womanfeels that her husband is betraying her or that he desires
another woman. Likewise, the man feels the same when he has suspicions
regarding his wife's behavior or feels that she desires other men.
Protective Jealously from the Sharee'ah Viewpoint
For both men and women, protective jealousy, when called for and shown
in a moderateway, is a praiseworthy trait and it is a necessity for
spouses in order that they can live in kindness. Each of them also has
to consider the protective jealousy of the other and know that every
matter has a moderate and sensible point between its two extremes. It
was proven that the Prophet said: "There is jealousythat Allaah loves
and jealousy that He hates. There is pride that Allaah loves and pride
that He hates. The jealousy that Allaah loves is jealousy regarding a
matter of suspicion. The jealousy that He hates is jealousy regarding
something that is not doubtful. The pride that Allaah loves is a man's
pride when fighting and when givingin charity. The pride that Allaah
hates is that shown in oppression andboasting." [Ahmad and others,
Al-Albaani - Saheeh]
Protective Jealousy is an Indication of Manliness
Protective jealousy, whenjustified and shown in a moderate manner, is
an indication of true manhood. It leads to the protection of honor,
the safeguarding of sacred ordinances, the veneration of the symbols
of Allaah, and the promotion of adherence to the limits that He has
set. It denotesthe strength of one's faith and shows that it is
instilled in his heart. Little wonder then that unethical practices,
impermissible exposure of women's beauty, immorality and
licentiousness prevails throughout the western world and other similar
communities. The reason behind this is either the lack of or the
complete absence of protective jealousy.
Even in the pre-Islamic era, this characteristic prevailed among the
Arabs who experienced the meanings of these virtues. They would be
protectively jealous even about their neighbors' honor from their own
desires. Manly zeal could also drive these people toincite wars for
the sake of any assault against a woman, to protect her honor, or in
response to her seeking refuge. The cause of the war of Al-Fijaar that
broke out between the Arabs was that a group of youth from Banu
Kinaanah saw a woman in the market of 'Ukaath and asked her to uncover
her face, and when she refused they began mocking her. Thereupon, she
screamed, "O people of 'Aamir!" Immediately their fighters responded
to her request. The tribe of Kinaanah stood to defend their youth. The
tribe of Hawaazin stood on the side of Banu 'Aamir and Quraysh stoodon
the side of Kinaanah, which resulted in a countless number of victims
and much bloodshed.
Excessive Protective Jealousy
Excessive jealousy is a source of trouble for the person and those
aroundhim. Many so-called honor-related crimes are committed due to
rumors. This extent of jealousy, which is hazardous, may drive a
person to kill others without any justification or sound evidence for
hisaction. This happens in many places. Some husbands have the disease
of bitter doubts which turns their marital life into unbearable
turmoil. It was narrated that the Prophet forbade that a man should
unexpectedly come to his wife at night,doubting her fidelity
andprobing into her lapses. [Muslim] It is improper for a husband to
have no confidence in his wife, and he should not be excessive in
monitoring her each and every action. There is no doubt that such
behavior damages the marital relationship and severs what Allaah The
Almightyhas ordered to be joined.
'Ali ibn Abi Taalib would say, "Do not have excessive jealousy over
your wives such that you would cause them to be slandered." Also,
Mu'aawiyah said, "There are three characteristics of
nobility:Forgiveness, having a flatabdomen and avoiding excessive
protective jealousy."
Therefore, moderation inthis regard is very important and the limits
of the required protective jealousy are determined by the texts of the
Sharee'ah. It was narrated that the Prophet said: "Allaah becomes
jealous and the believer also becomes jealous. Allaah becomes jealous
when the believer commits what He has forbidden." [Al-Bukhaari]
Protective jealousy is required if women violate the prohibitions of
Allaah The Almighty, and in this case such jealousy is praiseworthy.
Conversely, being void of such jealousy in these situations is
dispraised and is the cause of a person being prevented from entering
Paradise. The proof of this is what was narrated on the authority of
'Ammaar ibn Yaasir that the Prophet said: "There are three types of
people who will never enter Paradise: A Dayyooth, a woman who assumes
a masculine attitude and an alcoholic." His Companions asked, "O
Messenger of Allaah, we know what an alcoholic is, but what is a
Dayyooth?" He replied: "He is the person who does not care who has
private access to his womenfolk." The Companions asked, "Whoare the
women who assume a masculine attitude?" He replied: "They are women
who imitate men."
Considering the Protective Jealousy of Others
When a man feels the pain of a loss or jealousy when his friend
forsakes him and befriends someone else, then we should consider the
jealousy of the mother-in-law. A mother in this situation feels as if
she has lost her son to someone else, after having cared for him
throughout his entire lifeand sacrificed every dear and precious thing
to make him a man of consequence in this life. Also, just as the
person feels jealous over his wife, he should consider her jealousy
over him. It is improper to show his admiration for other women, not
to mention narrating his pre or post-marital relationships, as this is
not a source of pride. Rather, a person should keep it hidden, repent
from such an act if they have happened, and adhere to Sitr (covering
and protection).
A woman should also control herself as much as she can, otherwise
herjealousy would be irrepressible. Commenting on the versein which
Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {And they will have therein
purified spouses.} [Quran 2:25], Ibn Al-Qayyim said, "They are
purified from menstruation, urination and any harm that afflictswomen
in this world. Their souls are also purified from jealousy, wanting to
harm their husbands and desire for other men."
The Jealousy of Allaah The Exalted
Sharee'ah texts prove that Allaah The Exalted becomes jealous . His
jealousy is a fact and He becomes jealous in a manner that befits His
majesty and perfection. Amanifestation of His Jealousy is His dislike
thatHis slave should fall into acts of disobedience or associate
anything in what is due solely to Him in terms of obeying His commands
and avoiding His prohibitions. It was narrated that the Prophet said:
"Allaah becomes jealous and the believer also becomes jealous. Allaah
becomes jealous when the believer commits what He has forbidden."
[Al-Bukhaari] In another Hadeeth, he said: "No one is more jealous
than Allaah The Almighty. Because of His jealousy, Allaah has
prohibited immorality, both apparent and concealed, and no one likes
to be praised more than Allaah The Almighty." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
Another narration of this Hadeeth states: "The believer gets jealous
and Allaah is even more jealous." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
It was narrated in a Hadeeth that the Prophet said to his Companions
about one of them: "Are you surprised at Sa'd's jealousy over his
honor? By Allaah, I am more jealous over my honor than he is over his,
and Allaah is more jealous than I am." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]