Lovesickness

By no means is love a sickness in and of itself. Indeed, it is the
only known cure for many of the problems and ailments that we as human
beings suffer from. However, love can turn into an illness if it
becomes obsessive, if it goes beyond its proper bounds, or if the
object of love is not worthy. When such a situation develops, love
indeed becomes a sickness requiring a remedy.
It is Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aalaa)'s order in the world that he
sends down to it no affliction without sending down with it its cure.
Love is noexception.
The treatment of this illness is as follows:
1. As with all diseases, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
This is why we must lower our gazes and resist taking a second glance
at a member of the opposite sex who attracts us. Allah (Subhaanahu wa
Ta'aalaa) says: "Say to thebelieving men that they should lower their
gaze and guard their chastity. That will make for greater purity for
them, and Allah is acquainted with all that they do. And say to the
believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their
chastity…" (Surah al-Noor: 30-31)
We can see how Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aalaa) first issues the command
to believing men, then repeats the command for believing women, thus
emphasizing the importance of lowering our gazes. The fact that Allah
(Subhaanahu wa Ta'aalaa) addresses members of each sex individually
shows just how important and relevant this matter is to people of both
sexes. Indeed, these Verses are one of the few occasions where Allah
(Subhaanahu wa Ta'aalaa) addresses men and women separately inthe
Quraan.
The look is the beginningthat can lead to progressively greater ills.
This is why Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aalaa) mentions it first, and then
follows it up with the command forus to guard our chastity.
A poet long ago observed:
A glance, a smile, a friendly hello,
Some chatting, a date, then off they go!
If some of us find it difficult to carry out this command, they should
write these verses down on a sheet of paper and hang them on their
wall or place them on the dashboard – whatever it takes to remind
them.
2. Thinking about the consequences is often a sobering dose of medicine.
The ability to think aboutthe far-reaching consequences of our actions
is one of the distinctive qualities that set humanity apart from other
animals. This is whya person just does not goahead and do
everythingthat tickles his fancy. He first has to think about what is
behind it and what will come of it.
For instance, he might pause to think, before embarking upon a certain
course of action, that if he does so, he might succumb to AIDS. He
might reflect upon how that dreaded disease has already claimed tens
of millions of lives, how some of those who were careful –who chose
only one sexual partner who even had an AIDS test – nevertheless came
down with the disease.
How many people like that do we hear about, some of whom come out and
admit that the disease befell them as a punishment from Allah
(Subhaanahu wa Ta'aalaa), and hoping that it might at least expiate
for their sin?
The same can be said for all the other sexually transmitted diseases.
The worst thing of all is to think that an indiscreet man can infect
his pious, faithful, and chaste wife with one of these vile diseases.
Another consequence to think about is pregnancy.A man who had
repentedfor his sins once admittedto me that he had intentionally
chosen to involve himself with a woman who was sterile. Regardless,
Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aalaa) wanted her to fall pregnant and she
did.
We should not be heedless of the consequences of our actions. Does
anyone want to be responsible for someone coming intothis world with
no idea who his father is; someone who starts out life already
disadvantaged?
Maybe one of us will pay the price for his misdeed in this world.
Maybe he will get away with it here, going through life unrepentant
and unscathed, only to be humiliated for it before the eyes of all on
the Day of Judgment.
Some of the evil consequences of this behavior are psychological in
nature. Aman, once enamored of women, gets to the pointthat he can
never be satisfied. He eternally craves variety and no degree of
beauty is enough. Because of this, he may find himself eternally
forbidden the lawful pleasure to be found within marriage . His senses
and his sentiments have all been dulled.
Some young men travel abroad and spend their time in the company of
prostitutes and other women of ill repute, but if one of them were
ever to hear that his wife backhome so much as looked at another man
indiscreetly, he would divorce her on the spot.
One man lamented: "I would forsake all the women of the world for the
sake of one woman whom I knew would get worried if I came home at
night a little bit late." This is the sentiment of any man who
possesses wisdom.
3. The communion of lawful love is the best cure of all.
All of the stories of love that we find in our literature – whether it
bethat of Jamîl and Buthaynah, Kuthayyir and 'Azzah, Qays and Laylâ,
or for that matter their English equivalent Romeo and Juliet – deal
with the anguish of unrequited love.
Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aalaa) has placed in what is lawful all that
we need so we can dispense with what He has made unlawful. It provides
the most fulfilling, satisfying, and deepest expression of love.
The Prophet (SallAllaho alaihe wa sallam) said: "We see for those who
are in love nothing better than marriage ." (Sunan Ibne Maajah, 1847
and Mustadrak Haakim, 2724 with a good chain of transmission)
Lawful matrimony is what brings healing to the heart and removes
itsdisquiet. If it is not written for a certain manand women to come
together in matrimony, each of them should havefaith that there are
many others out there with whom Allah (Subhaanahuwa Ta'aalaa) can
enrich them with a meaningful and loving relationship.
4. Resignation and a willingness to forsake what is wrong.
No matter how painful it may be to part, it is sometimes necessary.
TheProphet (SallAllaho alaihewa sallam) said: "Whoever maintains his
chastity, does so with thegrace of Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aalaa).
Whoever finds self-sufficiency does so with what Allah (Subhaanahu wa
Ta'aalaa) has enriched him. Whoever is patient draws his fortitude
from Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aalaa). And no one hasbeen given a gift
better or more bountiful than patience." (Bukhari 1469 and Muslim
1053)
Whoever gives something up for Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aalaa)'s sake
should know that Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aalaa) will give him in its
substitute something far better.
5. Channeling one's energies and abilities into what is nobler,
moreprecious, and sublime – the love of Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aalaa)
We express this love by bringing benefit to His creatures, by our
obedience to Him, by our Salaah (prayers), our Saum (fasts), our Zikr
(remembrance of Him), our Du'aas (supplications), and our Tawaadhu'
(humility). Wedo so by keeping the company of righteous people and by
aspiring tothe noblest and most beneficial of goals.
We should channel our energies into what benefits us in our
worldlylives and in our faith. Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aalaa) says:
"Seek Allah's help with patienceand perseverance. It is indeed
difficult except upon those who are humble." (Surah al-Baqarah: 45)
He says: "Whoever puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is Allah for
him." (Surah al-Talaaq: 3)
A heart that is full of concern for others will bea heart that is full
of love – but not a slave to love. It is an empty heart that falls
stricken for any visitor who graces its doorstep.
We should take full advantage of our lives and be as productive as
possible. We need to develop our talents, our minds, and put our
creativity into practice. Yes! Be enamored – but be enamored of truth
and knowledge . Be fully in love – but be in love with righteousness.