1] I Would Like to Repent, But!...http://aydnajimudeen.blogspot.com/

1]
Dear brother! O slave of Allah! Allah has opened the door of
repentance, sowhy should you not enter? "Repentance has a door whose
span is the distance between East and West," says a hadith; (and in
another version "its span is the distance traveled in 70 years" ). "It
will not be closed until the sun rises from the West."
Listen to the call of Allah: "O My slaves! You sin morning and evening
and I forgive all your sins. So call on Me, I will forgive you all
your sins."
Allah extends His Hands inthe night to forgive the sinner of the day
and extends His Hands in the day to forgive the sinner of the night.
And He loves to hear excuses. So why don't you turn to Him?
How beautiful are the words of the repenting man who says: "I
beseechYou O Lord, in the name of Your honor, and (by) my ignominy
that You have mercy on me. I beseech You in the name of Your Strength
and my weaknesses. Your Self-sufficiency andmy dependence. To you I
submit my sinning, guilty forelock. You havemany slaves apart from me.
But I have no Mastersave you. There isn't anyrefuge but with You nor
escape from You except to You. I plead You O Lord, in the manner of
the pleading of a destitute, and entreat You in the manner of a
broken, downtrodden man. I beseech You in the manner of a blind man in
fear. This is a supplication, O Lord, from one whose head isbowed down
before your Majesty, whose nose is in the dust, whose eyes are filled
with tears and whose heart has submitted."
Consider this story:
It is reported by a trustworthy man of the past that as he was passing
through a street he saw the door of a house open. A woman came out
with a child who was crying and pleading while she was pushing him
out. She left him outside the house and slammed the door shut in his
face. The child left the door and walked a distance. Then he stopped,
looked about, began to think, and not finding any other place but his
own house where he could take shelter nor anyone who would care for
him as his mother would, he returned to his house dejected, sad. He
found the door shut. He sat at the sill, put his cheek on the
threshold and slept with tear marks on his cheeks. He was in this
state when the mother opened the door. When she saw him in this state
she could not control herself. She bent down, grabbed him to herbosom,
began to kiss him and say in tears: "Oh my boy! My dear child! My very
soul! Where were you? Didn't I tell you not to disobey me? Do my
bidding, and don't force me to punish you, while I hate to do that."
Then shecarried the child back and closed the door behind her.
That is the story of a mother and a child: the story of disobedience,
punishment, return, forgiveness and unbound love. But the Prophet,
salla Allah u alihi wa sallam, has told us that: "Allah loves His
creation more than a woman does her child." In fact, there is no
comparison between the love of a mother for her child and that of
Allah whose Mercy encompasses everything. Allah, azza wa jall, is
immensely pleased with aman when he repents andturns to Him. And we
shallnever be deprived of anything by a Lord who ismore pleased with
the repenting man, than that man..
"..who was traveling through an arid land. Hedismounted and took
shelter under a tree seeking some rest. He lay there with his beast,
loaded with food and water, at his side. But when he awoke, lo! The
beast was gone! He began to search for it frantically. He climbed a
hill but couldn't see a trace of it. He climbed another hill and still
no trace of it. Finally, when hunger and thirst overtook him, he said,
'Let me go back to the tree, and lay down thereuntil death overtakes
me.' So he went back to the tree, and lay there with eyes closed - in
total despair. And lo! As he opened his eyes and raised his head,
there the beast was, right before his very eyes, with all the food and
water loaded on it intact! He rushed to it and picked up its halter.
(Can you imagine his happiness) But lo! Allah is happier with a man
when he turns to Him seeking His forgiveness, than the man who found
his beast when he had lost all hopes."
Know it, my dear brother, that true repentance of every sin also
brings with it humility and devotion to Allah, and that pleading of a
penitent is very dear to Allah. So that what follows after repentance
is obedience of a greater degree to the extent that sometimes Satan
regrets that he enticed him into that sin at all. That is why you
willsee that those who repentbecome very much changed personalities.
Allah does not abandon a man who comes to Him a penitent. Compare the
situation with that of a father who used to look after his son with
great love and care, providing him with the best of clothing, food and
toys. Then one day the father sent him on an errand.
:->