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Friday, June 20, 2014

For children, - Akhlaq, Islamic Behavior, Good Conduct, Morality, Good Manners, Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw)




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Akhlaq is an Arabic term referring to the practice of virtue, morality and good manners in Islamic Theology and Philosophy (Falsafah). It is most commonly translated in English as; islamic behavior, disposition, good conduct, nature, temper, ethics, morals or character (of a person).
Akhlaq is the plural for the word Khulq which means disposition. "Disposition" is that faculty (Malakah) of the soul (Nafs) which is the source of all those activities that man performs spontaneously without thinking about them. Malakah is a property of the soul which comes into existence through exercise and repetitive practice and is not easily destroyed.
A particular disposition (Malakah) may appear in human beings because of one of the following reasons:
1.Natural and physical make up (Fitrah): It is observed that some people are patient while others are touchy and nervous. Some are easily disturbed and saddened while others show greater resistance and resilience.
2.Habit (Ada): It is formed because of continual repetition of certain acts and leads to the emergence of a certain disposition.
3.Practice and conscious effort: Which if continued long enough will eventually lead to the formation of a disposition.
Even though the physical make-up of an individual produces certain dispositions in him, it is by no means true that man has no choice in the matter and is absolutely compelled to abide by the dictates of his physical make-up. On the contrary, since man has the power to choose, he can overcome the dictates of his physical nature through practice and effort, and can acquire the disposition of his choice.
Of course, it should be admitted that those dispositions which are caused by the mental faculties such as intelligence, memory, mental agility and the like, are not alterable. All other dispositions, however, may be changed according to man's will. Man can control his lust, anger and other emotions and desires, and channel them to edify himself and propel himself along the path of perfection and wisdom.
When we speak of man's capacity to bring about changes in his dispositions, we do not mean that man should destroy his instincts of reproduction or self-preservation. Man could not exist without these instincts. What we mean is that one should avoid going to either extremes in regard to them, and maintain a condition of balance and moderation so that they may perform their functions properly. Just as the seed of a date grows into a fruitful tree through proper care, or a wild horse is trained to serve his master, so also can man attain perfection and wisdom through self-discipline and intelligent perseverance.
Human perfection has many levels. The greater the amount of self-discipline and effort on the part of the individual, the higher the level of perfection that he would attain. In other words, he stands between two extreme points, the lowest of which is below the level of beasts and the highest of which surpasses even the high station of angels. The human movement between these two extremes is discussed by ilm al-Akhlaq (Science of Ethics). It is the goal of ethics to raise and guide man from the lowest animal state to that exalted position superior to that of the angels.
In a hadith from Imam Ali (as)is related as saying, Allah (SWT) created Angels with intellect but without anger or desire. And created animals with anger and desire but without intellect. And created man with intellect (reason), anger and desire. If man's reason over powers his anger and desires, he rises to the status of that higher than angels. But if his anger and desires overpower his intellect and reason he becomes lower in status than that of an animal.
The importance of ethics is thus revealed. And it is because of the reasons mentioned above that ethics is considered to be the most exalted and valuable of sciences; Moreover, we know that man is the noblest of creatures, the ultimate purpose of whose existence is to attain perfection; therefore, it follows that ethics is the noblest of all sciences.




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Fathwa, - A wife is entitled to have a separa..




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Asslam.o.alaikum. I married two years ago .my husband was aware of the fact that i want to live abroad and he said he will do so.i have a daughter mashaAllah. Ive been,very depressed while living with in laws.i,asked my husband many times for a separate accomodation as i want no interference,in my life.with the start of this year fights started between me n,my husband.my mother always scolded me for not being dominant,still i was happy.i told my husband that my mom scolds me .i was so stressed out.i had depression as i felt neglected by husbAnd.i left his home as i was tired of his parents behaviour and he never said his parents are wrong.one month later my hubsnad came,to meet,us.i was living with my mother.he wished if we go back.i said ill come back after i recover from depression.my daughter got ill,husband called me up that he is coming to pick me up.i said,no.when will she recover then come.its not good for a sick baby to travel for 4 hours.he,stopped talking to me.2 days later i said ok come.till then to 2 month laters he never picked up my call nor replied to my messages.now i told,him after his exam,was over that,i want to come back.his father askd,my father that i shouldnt come.and my hsband told my family that i used to say mom scolds,me.and i said,ill commit suicide...i feel so lonely niw.as he dint keep my secrets.please help me.i dont want,my daughter to Live without faher but he is,making it,difficult,for me..please help
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, is His slave and messenger.
We advise you to seek reconciliation and ask wise family members from among your relatives to sit together and investigate the issue in order to set the grounds for reaching a solution for your problem for the sake of attaining marital stability in the future. Allaah, The Exalted, says )what means(: }And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of settlement between them - and settlement is best. And present in ]human[ souls is stinginess. But if you do good and fear Allaah - then indeed Allaah is ever, with what you do, Acquainted.{ ]Quran 4:128[
We would like to point out some matters:
First, as a wife, you are entitled to have a separate accommodation for your own, even if it is rented. A wife is not obliged to live with her in-laws as per the Islamic Sharee'ah. In fact, living with the husband’s parents in the same house often incurs problems; therefore, husbands should pay attention to that issue. Please, refer to Fatwa 86132.
Second, one of your due rights over your husband is to live with you on a footing of kindness as enjoined by Allaah, The Exalted. We have underlined that in Fataawa 86618and 88304.
Third, it is impermissible for a woman to leave her house without the consent of her husband. This is considered recalcitrance on her part; please, refer to Fatwa 90507. If she went out of the house without the permission of her husband for a valid and legitimate reason, such as that of accommodation or the like, there is no harm in that.
Fourth, if the husband asks his wife to go back to the marital house, it is incumbent on her to obey him because the wife is enjoined to obey her husband as long as it does not involve disobedience to Allaah. If she is prevented from obeying her husband because of a legitimate impediment, like the accommodation problem in your case or the like, there is no harm in that. In fact, spouses should reach a mutual understanding in such a case.
Fifth, your mother did wrong when she asked you to dominate your husband and so did you when you informed your husband of that. Verily, this was not in your best interest; it even incurred harm on you.
Allaah Knows best.
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Fathwa, - You should be deliberate regarding..




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Question
Salaam alaikum I am asking this question on behalf of my friend. My friend mentioned to me that another of his friend approached him to see if he would be interested to marry his sister who is unhappily married and would like to come out of that marriage. My question is would it be permissible for a woman to divorce a man if she find no love, happiness, comfort in that relationship. And given that the underlying issue are essentially that of compatibility. Specifics to this case as follows: 1. She has been married for 19 years with 3 teenage children. She is pious and hijabi. 2. She has made efforts in these past years and sought ways to bring love and has made every attempt to bridge gap to make the relationship work. 3. Her husband, according to her, is good person but lives in his own world and steeped in his ways. 4. The mental compatibility gap is as such due to different personalities but further widened by cultural difference, upbringing though both are Muslims. 5. The relationship in the past years has been cold and the couple have drifted further apart. Please advice
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and messenger.
It is not permissible for a wife to ask her husband for divorce except for a legitimate reason. For more information on the valid reasons for seeking divorce, please refer to Fatwa 131953.
The mere fact that there is no love between the spouses in their married life is not a valid reason for the wife to seek divorce. Also, it is forbidden to urge a woman to seek divorce from her husband and to spoil their relationship as we have already clarified in Fatwa 92056.
Homes are not only built on love as previously stated in Fatwa 86796. In fact, there are many other interests that can be achieved through marriage, among which are those children with whom Allaah blessed this husband and wife. The children are in need of an upbringing and good guidance from both their parents so that they can be raised in a good manner and be pleasing to their parents in this worldly life and in the Hereafter.
In addition to this, love can be achieved by having a good marital relationship and mutual respect between the spouses as well as through the fulfillment of the marital rights towards each other. For more information on the rights between spouses, please refer to Fataawa 83157and 85308.
If a wife hates her husband and fears that this will lead her to neglect his rights, then it is permissible for her to ask him for Khul’ in return for compensation. For more information on the rulings on Khul’, please refer to Fatwa 89039.
Finally, our advice to you is to be deliberate regarding the matter of asking for divorce or Khul’ and to endeavor to reconcile if possible.Allaah Knows best.
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Fathwa, - He fathered a daughter from his fir..




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Question
My friend married a hindu lady and had a daughter with her about 15 years back , he stayed with her for some years and divorced her and then married another muslim pious lady , he told the second wife that his parents had forced him into his first marriage which was a lie and that the marriage lasted only 2 months and lied that he did not have a daughter , he used to tell her that his sexual desire was much , so he wants to marry again , the second wife did not agree so he married another muslim woman hiding the fact that he was already married twice and showing his age 12 years younger than his actual age . Is anyone who helped him find his partner]wife[ wrong in supporting him done wrong , a major grave sin according to allah swt ? Its been known that he ill treated his previous wives. He is very sweet with words and easily manipulates all people.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His slave and messenger.
The marriage of that man to the Hindu woman is invalid because it is not permissible for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim woman except a woman who belongs to the People of the Book ]i.e. a Christian or a Jew[ according to the consensus of the Muslims. For more information, please refer to Fatwa 88531.
However, his daughter bears his name if he had believed that his marriage to her was valid.Shaykh Ibn Taymiyyahsaid: “The Muslims have agreed that if a Muslim consummates a marriage )has sexual intercourse( with his wife in any marriage which he believes to be valid, then his children bear his name, and they inherit from each other according to the agreement of all the Muslims, even though this marriage is invalid according to the consensus of the Muslims … the confirmation of family lineage does not require the validity of marriage; rather, the child belongs to the owner of the bed, as the Prophetsaid: “The child belongs to the owner of the bed )legitimate husband( and the stone is for the adulterer." ]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[.”
If that man lied to his second wife about not having married that other woman and not having a daughter with her, then he is sinful and he is obliged to repent. He is also obliged to repent for lying to his third wife. For more information on the conditions of repentance, please refer to Fatwa 86527.
Helping that man to marry a second or third wife does not entail sharing the sin of lying with him, unless one listened to him as he was lying and did not censure him.
On the other hand, if that man is a bad person, then whoever helps him in this marriage and does not clarify the truth about him to the family of his wife, is a deceiver who has not fulfilled the obligation of sincere advice. Verily, advice is an obligation that is due upon a Muslim for his Muslim brother, and he should not refrain from advising Muslims whenever this is possible.
An-Nawawisaid when interpreting the Hadeeth reported by Muslim: “Giving advice is necessary according to one’s ability if the person who gives advice knows that his advice will be accepted and is safe from what is harmful. In case he fears harm, then he is not required to do so.” ]End of quote[
The obligation is even more emphasized if one’s advice is requested.Abu Hurayrahreported that the Prophetsaid: “The rights of a Muslim to another Muslim brother are six." It was said: What are they, O Messenger of Allaah? He said: “If you meet him, you should greet him with Salaam, if he invites you, you should accept his invitation, if he asks you for advice, you should give him sincere advice, if he sneezes and praises Allaah, you should say to him: 'Yarhamuka Allaah )may Allaah have mercy upon you(', if he falls sick, you should visit him, and if he dies, you should attend his funeral.” ]Muslim[
Daleel Al-Faaliheen li Turuq Riyaadh As-Saaliheen reads: “If he seeks your advice, i.e., if he requests you to advise him regarding what is likely to achieve an interest whether it is an action or word, then you should advise him and it is an obligation on you to say to him what is of interest to him. His request is not a condition for deeming giving him advice obligatory or recommended. It is obligatory in some cases and recommended in others, for whoever requests it or does not request it. However, giving advice when it is requested makes the obligation more emphasized.” ]End of quote[
Al-Hasan Al-Basrisaid: “You will find a believer to be nothing other than a sincere adviser, and you never find him a cheater.” ]End of quote[Allaah Knows best.
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