Fathwa, - Married for 14 years but wife is disrespectful. I feel like divorcing her.What should I do?

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Question:
I really need some help! I have been married for 14 years now, from the first day I married her she has never held any respect for me. In our first year of marriage I could not leave her because I had a child and I thought she would be fine and my parents said inshallah she will get better but she has not. I have 4 daughters, my wife does not look after them at all, she does not know namaz at all, I have taught her but she has never tried. I have wrote it down for her so much and I have even showed her but she has not tried. She always wastes her money on various things such as dying her hair, she has operations in order for her to lose weight like liposuction. I had an argument with her in why she wasted her money. In my eyes she was perfectly fine and healthy. She has sterilised everything so that we cannot have any children and she did this without my permission. She did not ask me, I even stopped her but till she did not listen. After that we do not have a husband and wife relationship, we sleep in seperate rooms. We hardly talk to each other. We always have huge arguments on simple topics and she always takes things the wrong way. I always control my anger and I have done this now for 14 years. I have given her eveything she asked for a house i gave her that, she asked for a car i gave her that I pay the mortage and all the bills in order for her to stay happy but this has not worked. She works full-time I have said to her stop working and I will give you everthing. I even said all she has to do is respect me, look after children and the house but she still hasnt listened. Her parents act the same as her they do not care either. My wife and her parents are both the same they think the same way and don't read the namaz. Her parents children do not know anything about Islam or know how to read namaz. She does not tell the kids to read namaz at all which upsets me as i want my children to grow up well knowing about what our Islam says. I have given her 1 divorce, the molvi has told me I have 1 certificate. The molvi says I have 2 divorces left. I have thought about this very carefully in what i am telling you. Now this was all about my wife now I am going to tell you about me. I have thought about everything very carefully. I do not fell like living with her at all I cannot live the rest of my life with her. It has been 2 years now and I have another girl who is 19. She did not know anything and she fell in love with me. She listened to all my emotions and troubles and she knows everything about my wifes family she knows them really well. But the thing there is a age difference between 10 and 15. I don't want to marry her because of our age difference and i am scared that I might ruin her life if i do marry her. She tells me that she wants to marry me and that the age difference doesnt concern her. But all i think about is my childrens life i dont want their life to be ruined i dont know what to do i am going crazy thinking about my children. I do feel like marrying someone where my wife compromises with me, reads namaz and quran, everthing and a wife that will bring up children with the teachings of islam. The girl that is with me now, she used to wear jeans but now she doesnt, i tell her to read namaz she reads it everything i tell her to do she does it. She doesnt just do this to show off to me she does it because she beleives that this is the right thing to do. We have done everything like a husband and wife i know this is very wrong. The girl is telling me to do a nakah can we do this without people knowing. I really dont care about other people but the thing that concerns me is my children. They might say to me that you have married a young girl. Aslo no-one at all knows about our relationship. If I have wrote something wrong then i am sorry i didnt know how to write it. I am very concerned and I would like to know what i should do. I shall wait for your reply.
Answer:
In the name of Allah Most Merciful Most Compassionate
I pray you are well and in the best of health and iman.
Divorce is hated but halal, however given the sensitivity of your situation, you should refer to a reliable local scholar.
And Allah alone gives success.

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Fathwa, - Marriage before legal divorce is complete

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Question:
I have recently divorced my wife Islamically with 3 Talaq's. According to Islamic Law, she is no longer my wife, we are divorced. However, according to Canadian Law, we are only seperated and not divorced yet. We must be seperated for 1 year before we can get a legal divorce in Canada. My question is in regards to marrying another woman. Can I marry another woman through Nikah before I am divorced through Canadian Law, or do I have to wait until that legal divorce is complete? It is illegal in Canada to be married to more than one woman at the same time. However, I believe that this only applies to trying to register more than one marriage at the same time. If the Nikah marriage is not registered with the Canadian government, then I do not believe I would be doing anything considered illegal in Canada, as they would not recognize my new Nikah marriage.
Answer:
In the name of Allah Most Merciful Most Compassionate
I pray you are well and in the best of health and iman.
It is permissible to have a nikah marriage before your divorce is finalized by the Canadian government. Then it would be advisable to register at that time.
And Allah alone gives success.

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PUBLISHER Najimudeen M

Islamic Articles, - The prominence of Hasanain Kareemain

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– Allah’s pleasure be upon them all–
1. It is reported that once, Imam Hasan approached the Holy Prophet - blessings and peace be upon him - and climbed on his shoulders. A person, (who was present) remarked, “O blessed son! What a nice steed you have”. In reply, the Holy Prophet declared, “And how nice a rider (too).”[Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Kitab al-Manaqib, Manaqib al-Hasan wa al-Hussain, Hadith no. 3809, Vol. 5, Page 432]
2. Once, when the Holy Prophet - blessings and peace be upon him - was in ritual prostration Imam Hasan wrapped himself on the blessed back of the Holy Prophet - blessings and peace be upon him. Due to this, the Holy Prophet - blessings and peace be upon him - lengthened the ritual prostration so that he (Hasan) would not fall when the Prophet raised his head.[Musnad Abu Ya'la, Musnad Anas bin Malik, Hadith no. 3415, Vol. 3, Page 21]
3. The Prophet - blessings and peace be upon him - declared: “These two sons of mine are the leaders of the youth in Paradise.”[Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Kitab al-Manaqib, Manaqib al-Hasan wa al-Hussain, Hadith no. 3793, Vol. 5, Page 426]
4. The Holy Prophet - blessings and peace be upon him - has also stated that, “Their friends are my friends, their enemies are my enemies.”[Sunan Ibn Maja, Kitab al-Sunnah, Fadl al Hasan wa al Hussain, Hadith no. 143, Vol. 1, Page 96].
5. He has also stated that, “These two are the swords of the heavens.” He has also stated that, “Hussain is from me and I am from Hussain. May Allah keep him as a friend who keeps Hussain as his friend. Hussain is a grandchild from among grandchildren.”[Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith no. 3800, Vol. 5, Page 429].
6. It is stated that once, the Holy Prophet - blessings and peace be upon him - placed Imam Hussain on his right thigh and and his own son, Sayyiduna Ibrahim on his left thigh. Jibra’il appeared to him and said, “Allah will not keep them both with the Prophet, choose one of them.” The Holy Prophet - blessings and peace be upon him - could not bear being separated from Imam Hussain and three days later, Sayyiduna Ibrahim passed on to the Divine Lord. After this incident, whenever Imam Hussain came in front of him , he used to kiss him and say, ‘Welcome to the one for whom I have sacrificed my own son’”[Tarikh al-Baghdad, Vol. 2, Page 200]
7. He has also declared that, “They are my sons and the sons of my daughter. O Allah! I have kept them in my friendship; You also keep them in Your friendship and keep him as Your friend who keeps them as his friends.”[Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Kitab al-Manaqib, Hadith no. 3794, Vol. 5, Page 427].
8. He advised his blessed daughter, “Bring me both my sons.” He used to then smell them and then hug them to his chest.[Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Kitab al-Manaqib, Hadith no. 3797, Vol. 5, Page 428].
Gems of Wisdom by Hasnain al-Kareemain
– Allah's pleasure be upon them all –
Sayyiduna Imam al-Hasan Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anho:
*.Good manners and disposition are ten:
1. Truth in Speech
2. Strongly opposing falsehood
3. Charity
4. To repay favours
5. Kindness of kith and kin
6. Protect your neighbour
7. Right enjoined upon you on all creation
8. Entertaining guests
9. Etiquette and
10. The most important is Shame and modesty.
*.The best characteristic regarded amongst the wise is wisdom of Taqwah (fear of Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala) and the worst characteristic is bad behaviour and bad manners.
*.Those who extend a hand of friendship towards you then become friends with them you will be regarded as just.
*.Your age continues to increase while your life span decreases therefore assist somebody while you can with anything you have.
*.Momin is he who provides for himself in the hereafter while a Kafir (rejecter of Faith) is he who is busy in providing for himself the comforts of the World.
Sayyiduna Imam al-Hussain Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anho:
*.Dishonoured is he, who is a Miser.
*.If you wish to become a leader then make action and movement, toil and labour your business.
*.You are seeing the different types of business dealings shows that the World is changing its colors (becoming more fickle), turning its face away, emptying itself of good, but we still have a little time, a contemptible life is left, danger and fearfulness has enclosed, Alas with regret, can’t you see that justice and truth have been placed behind, falsehood is being practiced openly, whosoever hand you grab to rescue he does not want to be rescued towards the everlasting and Almighty creator, nor does he wish to fulfill his duties to his Eternal Lord.
*.I prefer martyrdom, instead of living a life under these oppressors for such a life is also a crime.
*.The World has changed colours and it has been deprived of good, Is there nobody that would stop the oppressor from oppression, The time has come for the Mo’min to come forth and to sacrifice everything for the sake of Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala.
*.Do not fear that which you do not understand, not cannot attain.
*.Do not keep high hopes for any remuneration for work which is more than necessary.
*.If you know the results of a job will be difficult, then do not take its responsibilities upon your shoulders.
*.The highest status amongst the forgiving is of that person who has all the power to avenge himself yet he adopts to forgive.
*.All the people whom I loved have departed from this World and I am left amongst those whom I don’t like.
*.The best use of wealth is to modestly and honourably resolve it.
*.When people in need come to you, then think that this is the grace of Allah and fulfill their needs.
*.One who shows kindness will be a leader and one who is miserly will be disgraced.
*.Think of splendor and piety as bounties and strive to achieve this very quickly.

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