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Wednesday, November 6, 2013

How to Handle Burdens - Women site, -

We all have stress and burdens in our daily lives. Whether it is
school or work or just the trials of life, we carry much on our
shoulders. Some of us carry our own loads and some of us carry loads
that we share with others, such as health problems, personal family
issues, financial dilemmas, marital discord, employment troubles, and
the list could go on. These burdens that we bear can be heavy. In
fact, most of us may say that at one time or another, these burdens
are too hard to bear.
But, in Chapter two ]Quran 2[, Allaah Almighty promises us that we
will never have to carry a burden that is greater than what we can
bear. So why do we feel then that the burden is too heavy for us to
carry? Why do we feel as if we had the weight of the entire world on
our shoulders and as if we had more than our share of worries and
woes?
We feel this way not because of the weight of the burden, but rather
the way we carry it.
Bend at the knees
When we physically carry heavy loads in our arms, we are always told
to `bend at the knees' to avoid breaking our backs and injuring our
necks. There is great wisdom in ensuring that something is sincerely
done in our own best interest, and not just done as a task that we
want to get rid of. Likewise, a burden that is carried with little or
no care or concern for our own well-being does not make much sense. In
a short amount of time, one would `burn out' and be of much less use
to the same people that we were intending to help in the first place.
So, a burden carried on our shoulders should be carried with care as
well, otherwise it could similarly become a `pain in the neck'. In
other words, a burden on its own is not such a pain but a mere
responsibility; but a burden that is not carried well becomes a pain,
a hassle that one harbors reluctantly.
No matter how heavy our burden is, if we carry it with confidence and
self respect, we can handle the weight of it and carry it to fruition
or to the point that it needs to be carried.
Sometimes, this weight that we carry is for a short period and
sometimes it is for a long period; whatever the duration, our attitude
determines in large part the outcome. The way that we handle any
situation determines how that situation can end. Think about many of
the burdens that you may have in your life at this very moment. The
way you see them can have a huge impact on the way they affect your
life. If you think they are enormous, then you tend to visualize them
as such.
If you imagine that it is the end of the world, you would probably
feel as if the world was about to come crashing down on you.
Instead, if we can remember at times like this that there is no such
thing as a burden too great, we can take a deep breath and remind
ourselves that we can handle it. We have to remember that Allaah
Almighty Knows what we can handle. After all, He Almighty created us
and thus Knows better than anyone else what we can and cannot handle.
Pulling our own weight
In remembering this, it would be better for us to handle our
responsibilities not with complaints and grouchiness but with
self-restraint and grace. The burdens placed on our shoulders should
not weigh us down to the point of immobility. Instead, we can think of
them as challenges that we can learn to face and overcome. The reality
is that, no matter how bad the situation is, there is always someone
out there whose situation is harder than ours. Maybe we can't see that
person when we need to, but we need to know that this reality exists
and that our own burdens are meant for us. The burden of other people
could be much worse.
All of the burdens that we have are a test from Allaah Almighty—we
know that already. What we sometimes forget is how to handle those
burdens. Usually, we complain about everything that is 'going wrong'
in our lives. If we can change our perspective and balance those
burdens with a stronger back and with a more positive attitude, we
will see that the burden is not as heavy as the reward for being
grateful for those things that we have in our lives that are going
well.

Dought & clear, - Is the will of Allaah the reason why people go astray?.

When a person goes astray and deviates, does that happen by the will
of Allaah or does Allaah not decree that?
Praise be to Allaah.
Shaykh al-Shanqeeti (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"He whom Allaah guides, he is the rightly-guided; but he whom He sends
astray, for him you will find no Wali (guiding friend) to lead him (to
the Right Path)"[al-Kahf 18:17]
In this aayah, Allaah explains that guidance and misguidance are in
His hand alone; whomsoever He guides none can lead astray, and
whomsoever He sends astray, none can guide. This meaning is also
expressed in many other aayahs, such as the following (interpretation
of the meaning):
"He whom Allaah guides, he is the rightly-guided; but he whom He sends
astray, for him you will find no Wali (guiding friend) to lead him (to
the Right Path)."[al-Israa' 17:97]
"Whomsoever Allaah guides, he is the guided one, and whomsoever He
sends astray, — then those! they are the losers"[al-A'raaf 7:178]
"Verily, you (O Muhammad) guide not whom you like, but Allaah guides
whom He wills"[al-Qasas 28:56]
"And whomsoever Allaah wants to put in Al-Fitnah (error, because of
his rejecting of Faith), you can do nothing for him against Allaah"
[al-Maa'idah 5:41]
"If you (O Muhammad) covet for their guidance, then verily, Allaah
guides not those whom He makes to go astray (or none can guide him
whom Allaah sends astray). And they will have no helpers"
[al-Nahl 16:37]
"And whomsoever Allaah wills to guide, He opens his breast to Islam;
and whomsoever He wills to send astray, He makes his breast closed and
constricted, as if he is climbing up to the sky"
[al-An'aam 6:125]
And there are very many similar aayahs.
From these and similar aayahs in the Qur'aan it may be understood that
the view of the Qadariyyah, who say that man is independent in his
actions, whether good or bad, and that does not happen by the will of
Allaah but rather by the will of the person, is false. Glorified and
exalted be Allaah far above anything happening in His dominion that
does not happen by His will.
Adwaa' al-Bayaan, 4/44.

Dought & clear, - Her husband reviles Islam and does not pray,but if she gets divorced from him, she will be forced to work and takeoff her hijab

I have been married for thirteen years to a husband who is thirty
years older than me. The problem is that from the first day, we have
not got on at all. I have thought of divorce, but I have three
children. I was not religious before, but now – praise be to Allah – I
never miss any prayer and I am raising my sons in Islam. Even though
we are living in Belgium, praise be to Allah my children speak Arabic
well. The problem is that my husband never prays, not even in Ramadan,
and he has never entered a mosque in his life, and he always reviles
Islam. By Allah, I am fed up with this life, but if I get divorced I
will be forced to go out to work and take off my hijab. I have not let
him be intimate with me for two months, since I read your fatwa on
this website. Now we are living in one house, but it is as if he is
not here; we do not speak and we do not sleep in the same room.
Praise be to Allah.
If your husband reviles Islam and does not pray, then it is not
permissible for you to stay married to him, because the one who
reviles Islam is a disbeliever according to scholarly consensus, and
the one who does not pray out of laziness is also a disbeliever,
according to the more correct of the two scholarly opinions.
If the marriage contract was done at a time when the husband was not
praying or when he was reviling Islam, then the marriage was never
valid in the first place.
If the status of disbelief came after the marriage contract, and the
husband continued in his disbelief until your 'iddah ended, then you
are completely separated from him, and you are not permissible for him
except with a new marriage contract, on condition that he repent and
come back to Islam.
Based on that, it is not permissible for you to let him be intimate
with you or to be alone with you; rather he is a non-mahram to you.
Complete separation does not depend on him issuing a divorce (talaaq);
you are not permissible for him whether he issues a divorce or not.
Now you have two options:
1.To live with your children in the same house that this husband is
living in, on condition that you be separated completely from him and
that there be no risk of intimacy occurring, and that you tell him
that you are not permissible for him, and that intimacy with him when
he is still behaving this way is haraam;
2.To become completely independent and to look for work and
accommodation. Undoubtedly this is better and safer for you; perhaps
when you look you will find permissible work where you will not be
forced to take off your hijab.
If the problem is a choice between taking off the hijab and staying
with this husband who is not permissible for you, and there is the
fear that you may commit forbidden actions with him, then taking off
the hijab is less serious, but we hope that you will not be forced to
choose one of these two options and that Allah will bless your husband
by enabling him to repent and mend his ways, or that you will find a
job where you do not have to take off your hijab. There are many ways
of earning a living, such as teaching children in your house or their
house, or working as a seamstress or typist or translator, or working
in an Islamic centre, even if you have to move to another city, or you
could go back to a Muslim country.
Keep asking Allah may He be exalted, and beseeching Him, and do a lot
of righteous deeds.
We ask Allah to grant you relief and to take away your worry and
distress, and to protect you and your children.
And Allah knows best.

Dought & clear, - The virtue of fasting ‘Ashoora’

I heard that fasting the day of 'Ashoora' expiates for the past year,
is this true?
Does it expiate for everything, even major sins? What is the reason
for venerating this day?.
Praise be to Allah
Firstly:
Fasting the day of 'Ashoora' does expiate for the past year, because
the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Fasting
the day of 'Arafah I hope Allaah will expiate thereby for the year
before it and the year after it, and fasting the day of 'Ashoora' I
hope Allaah will expiate thereby for the year that came before it."
Narrated by Muslim, 1162. This is by the bounty that Allaah bestows
upon us, whereby fasting one day expiates for the sins of a whole
year. And Allaah is the Owner of great bounty.
The Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to be very
keen to make sure he fasted on the day of 'Ashoora' because of its
great status. It was narrated that Ibn 'Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased
with him) said: I never saw the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) so keen to make sure he fasted any day and preferring it
over another except this day, the day of 'Ashoora', and this month –
meaning Ramadaan. Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1867.
What is meant by being keen to make sure he fasted it is so as to earn
its reward.
Secondly:
With regard to the reason why the Prophet(peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) fasted on the day of 'Ashoora' and urged the
people to do likewise is mentioned in the hadeeth narrated by
al-Bukhaari (1865) from Ibn 'Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him),
who said: The Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came
to Madeenah and saw the Jews fasting on the day of 'Ashoora'. He said,
"What is this?" They said, "This is a good day, this is the day when
Allaah saved the Children of Israel from their enemy and Moosa fasted
on this day." He said, "We are closer to Moosa than you." So he fasted
on this day and told the people to fast.
The words "this is a good day" – according to a version narrated by
Muslim, "This is a great day when Allaah saved Moosa and his people
and drowned Pharaoh and his people."
The words "so Moosa fasted on this day" – Muslim added in his report:
"In gratitude to Allaah, so that is we fast on this day."
According to another version narrated by al-Bukhaari, "So we fast it
out of respect for it."
The words "and told the people to fast" – according to another version
narrated by al-Bukhaari, "He said to his companions, 'You are closer
to Moosa than them, so fast this day."
Thirdly:
The expiation of sins that is achieved by fasting 'Ashoora' refers to
minor sins; with regard to major sins, they need separate repentance.
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Fasting the day of 'Arafaah expiates for all minor sins, in othr words
this brings forgiveness for all sins except for major sins.
Then he said:
Fasting the day of 'Arafaah is an expiation for two years, and the day
of 'Ashoora is an expiation for one year, and if a person's Ameen
coincides with the Ameen of the angels, his previous sins will be
forgiven… Each of the things mentioned may bring expiation. If he does
something that expiates for minor sins he will be expiated, and if
there are no minor or major sins, it will be recorded for him as good
deeds and he will rise in status thereby… If there is one or more
major sins and no minor sins, we hope that it will reduce his major
sins.Al-Majmoo' Sharh al-Muhadhdhab, part 6.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The
expiation of purification, prayer, and fasting Ramadaan, 'Arafah and
'Ashoora' applies to minor sins only.Al-Fataawa al-Kubra, part 5.