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Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Whom one is allowed to marry

Marriage is the most essential social bond that maintains human
society. It is the key step to establishing a family, which is the
nucleus of society. Since the ultimate goal of creating human beings
is to worship Allaah Almighty, a Muslim has to look at marriage as a
means of 'producing' human beings who will be future worshippers of
Allaah, which is a religious commitment, apart from being a physical,
social and psychological need.
When planning for marriage, one has to ask himself who he should
marry. Allaah mentions most of the categories of women involved in
this question in the following verses, )which means(:"And do not marry
those ]women[ whom your fathers married, except what has already
occurred. Indeed, it was an immorality and hateful ]to Allaah[ and was
evil as a way. Prohibited to you ]for marriage[ are your mothers, your
daughters, your sisters, your father's sisters, your mother's sisters,
your brother's daughters, your sister's daughters, your ]milk[ mothers
who nursed you, your sisters through nursing, your wives' mothers, and
your step daughters under your guardianship ]born[ of your wives unto
whom you have gone in. But if you have not gone in unto them, there is
no sin upon you. And ]also prohibited are[ the wives of your sons who
are from your ]own[ loins, and that you take ]in marriage[ two sisters
simultaneously, except for what has already occurred. Indeed, Allaah
is ever Forgiving and Merciful. And ]also prohibited to you are all[
married women except those your right hands possess ]i.e., slaves or
war-captives who had polytheistic husbands[. ]This is[ the decree of
Allaah upon you. And lawful to you are ]all others[ beyond these,
]provided[ that you seek them ]in marriage[ with ]gifts from[ your
property, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse..."]Quran
4:22-24[
Those who are Permanently Forbidden in Marriage
This category includes those whom one is forbidden to marry due to a
blood relationship as well as those who are forbidden due to marital
relations:
Those Permanently Forbidden due to Blood Relations
Descendants due to a relationship with a woman, regardless of how far
)a man's daughter, granddaughter, etc.(.
Ascendants of women, regardless of how far )mother, maternal and
paternal grandmother, etc.(.
Descendants from a man's parents, regardless of how far )sisters, half
sisters, sister's children, etc.(
Siblings of male and female ascendants, regardless of how far
)paternal and maternal aunts, great aunts, etc.(.
One may notice that of these, the grandmother was not explicitly
mentioned in the verse. This is because frequently in Arabic and in
the Quran )as in some of the verses on inheritance(, the term 'mother'
includes the grandmother and all her ascendants.
Those Permanently Forbidden due to Marital Relations
Wives of ascendants, regardless of how far )the father's wife,
grandfather's wife, etc.(. Consummation is not a condition; the mere
completion of the marriage contract makes this marriage forbidden
forever.
Wives of descendants, regardless of how far. Again, the mere marriage
contract is what is considered here with or without consummation.
Ascendants of wives )such as the mother-in-law(, regardless of whether
the marriage was consummated or not.
Descendants of wives )step-daughters and their children( only if the
man consummated the marriage with the wife in question. The phrase
)which means( '…Under your guardianship…' was mentioned here only to
portray the usual case and not as a condition. The ruling holds
whether the
Those Permanently Forbidden due to Breast Feeding
The verse actually mentions 'mothers' and 'sisters' by breast feeding.
From these two, others can be derived based on the Hadeeth
)narration( of the Prophet:"Breast feeding makes forbidden what is
forbidden through blood relations."]Muslim[
The Prophetwas asked to marry the daughter of his uncle Hamzahbut his
response was to say: "She is not permissible for me. She is the
daughter of my brother through breastfeeding. And breastfeeding
forbids what is forbidden through blood relations." ]Al-Bukhaari &
Muslim[
The brother of a woman who had breastfed 'Aa'ishahcame to visit her.
She refused to let him in until she asked the Prophetif it was
permissible to do so, and he said:"Give him permission, for he is our
uncle."]Al-Bukhaari & Muslim[
The Minimum Requirement for Breast Feeding
There is a wide variety of opinions on how many 'sessions' of
breastfeeding create the prohibition including one, three, five, seven
and ten sessions. A common opinion is that the child must have nursed
on three separate occasions; this is based on the Hadeeth: "The
prohibition is not established by one suck or two."
The strongest opinion is that of Imaams Maalik and Abu Haneefahand
'Ali bin Abu Taalib, 'Abdullaah bin 'Umar, and 'Abdullaah bin
'Abbaasand others, which is that a single session is sufficient. This
is the strongest opinion because it is consistent with the apparent
meaning of the word Ridhaa'ah )breastfeeding( in the above-mentioned
verses as well as the related Hadeeths; also, the above Hadeeth could
be easily taken to refer to 'sucks' and not 'sessions.' So, in other
words, if the baby merely sucks once or twice, it does not count
unless the baby completes the 'session', drinking to satisfaction.
Women Included in this Category
One's female ascendants through nursing. This includes the woman who
nursed him and her mother, etc. The husband of the wet nurse is
considered the 'cause' of the milk involved. So, for example, if a
girl is nursed by a woman, that woman's husband becomes forbidden to
her just as her own biological father is.
Descendants through nursing. The man who is the 'cause' of the milk
is forbidden from marrying the one his wife nursed or their children,
etc.
Descendants of 'parents' through nursing, )i.e., the 'sisters'(. One
cannot marry any of the children )either by blood or nursing( of the
wet nurse or her husband.
Siblings of ascendants by nursing )i.e., brothers and sisters of the
wet nurse or her husband(. This does not include their children
)'cousins' by nursing(.
Note the following important point as stated by Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen:
"The relatives of the child that is nursed, except for his/her
children, have no relation to the breastfeeding mother ]or her
husband[ and there is no effect on them from that nursing. So, it is
allowed for a boy's blood brother to marry his brother's wet nurse or
her daughters. However, the children of the child who was nursed will
become like the children of the wet nurse and her husband in the same
way that their father )the one originally nursed( was a 'child' )by
nursing( to those two."
Those Forbidden for Temporary Reasons
The second category of women a man is forbidden to marry consists of
those forbidden for temporary reasons. If the reason ceases to exist,
marriage between them becomes lawful. They include the following:
While being married to a woman, a man cannot marry her sister or any
of her aunts )paternal or maternal(. The first was mentioned in the
verses previously mentioned and the second is mentioned in the
following Hadeeth:
"The Prophetprohibited joining )in marriage at the same
If a person divorces his wife three times, it is not allowed for him
to marry her again until and unless she marries someone else )but not
as a trick in order to marry him again(, consummates that marriage and
that marriage is subsequently legally ended.
Any woman if a man already has four wives.
Marrying a slave girl when one is already married to a free woman.
Marrying a woman who is already married or who is in 'Iddah )waiting
period(. A woman in 'Iddah due either to her husband's death or
divorce is not allowed to marry until it is finished.
A woman upon whom a man has made Li'aan, unless he confesses to having
made it up. Al-Li'aan in Arabic is when the husband accuses the wife
of adultery but cannot bring witnesses, so he swears that it occurred
and the two are separated after the wife swears that she is innocent.
He can never marry her again unless
A woman who is neither Muslim nor Jewish nor Christian.

Etiquettes related to debtand loaning - II

The Debtor:
Repaying the creditor on time:The debtor should take initiative to
repay the creditor as soon as the loan is due. If the debtor is
financially unable to repay it all, then at least he should start
paying in installments if he possesses the money to do so. One should
rush in repayment, because loans will be a hard thing on him in his
gave.
Repaying in the best manner:The debtor should repay in the best
manner. Abu Hurayrahreported: "A harsh Bedouin came to the Messenger
of Allaahasking him to repay a young camel hehad borrowed from this
Bedouin. The Bedouin used harsh words when he was demanding his money,
so the companions were about to strike him for doing so, but the
Messenger of Allaahsaid:"Leave him! Indeed a creditor has the right to
demand it )i.e. his loan("the companions could not find a young camel
among the brought ones )from Zakaah( to match the level of that which
was borrowed, and informed the Messenger of Allaahthat all the camels
were of the best type. The Prophetsaid:"Give it to him, for it is the
best of all people who pays back in the best manner."']Muslim[. In
another narration narrated by Abu Sa'eedthe Prophettold the
companionswho were enraged with the Bedouin:"You should side with the
one who is demanding his right"
Unfortunately, nowadays people hardly side with the one demanding his
right, and in some cases even judges deprive people from their rights,
and receive bribes to side with the debtor instead of siding with the
creditor … woe to them and what a severe punishment awaits them in
Hell on the Day of Judgment.
When the Bedouin saw the good manner in which the Prophetrepaid him,
he thanked him, and thereupon the Prophetsaid:"These are the best type
of people )i.e. who repay in the best manner(. There is no good in a
nation whose poor cannot take their rights from their rich without
being harassed"the Prophetsaid this because sometimes the poor might
get his right back but only after he suffers and is delayed and is put
in embarrassing situations.
Additionally, the debtor must rely on Allaah in his attempt to repay
the creditor. Abu Hurayrahreported that the Messenger of Allaahsaid:"A
man from the children of Israeli asked another to lend him one
thousand Deenaars. The second said, `I want a surety witness' the
former replied, `Allaah is sufficient as a surety witness' The second
said, you are right, and he lent him the money for an appointed time.
The debtor went across the sea, and when he finished his job, he
searched for a conveyance so that he might reach in time for the
repayment of the debt, but he could not find any. So, he took a piece
of wood, made a hole in it, inserted in it one thousand Deenaars and a
letter to the lender and then closed )i.e. sealed( the hole tightly.
He took the piece of wood to the sea and said: "O Allaah! You know
very well that I took a loan of one thousand Deenaars from so-and-so.
He demanded a surety from me but I told him that Allaah's Guarantee
was sufficient, and he accepted Your Guarantee. He then asked for a
witness and I told him that Allaah was sufficient as a witness, and he
acceptedYou as a witness. No doubt, I tried hard to find a conveyance
so that I could pay his money but I could not find any, so I hand over
this money to You" Saying that, he threw the piece of wood into the
sea till it went out far into it, and then he went away. Meanwhile he
started searching for a conveyance in order to reach the creditor's
country.
One day the lender came out of his house to see whether a ship had
arrived bringing his money, and all of a sudden he saw the piece of
wood )i.e. the one in which his money had been deposited(. He took it
home to use for fire. When he sawed it, he found his money and the
letter inside it. Shortly after that, the debtor came bringing one
thousand Deenaars to him and said, By Allaah, I had been trying hard
to get a boat so that I could bring you your money, but failed to get
one before the one I have come by. The lender asked,have you sent
something to me? The debtor replied, `I have told you I could not get
a boat other than the one I have come by. The lender said, `Allaah has
delivered on your behalf the money you sent in the piece of wood. So,
you may keep your one thousand Deenaars so depart guided on the right
path"]Al-Bukhaari[.
This is the consequence of relying on Allaah, and when one's intention
is sincere in repayment, then Allaah will assist him in his attempt.
The problem that faces many indebted people is that they are not truly
sincere in their intention to repay the debt to the creditor and thus
they become deprived of the assistance of Allaah.
Procrastinating payment:Some debtors delay and procrastinate for no
need even when they have the money to repay, but he acts so mean and
low and pays back in installments to the creditor. One might have a
debt of fifty thousand for example, and starts repaying five hundred
every month, other months he might pay only two hundred, and a third
month he would pay a thousand and so on, despite him having the entire
amount, but he just wants the creditor to give up on him and his debt,
and this is extreme stinginess.
Such people make the creditor appear like the poor person who is
chasing after money, whilst it is his right. He forces him in some
cases to beg him to repay, so that he )i.e. the creditor( can fulfill
his own obligations which he might have arranged their payment based
on the agreed upon promise of repayment from the debtor.
Finally, it is recommended that the debtor says nice words of
gratitude to the creditor upon repaying him as this softens the heart
and encourages the creditor to loan others in the future.

Etiquettes related to debtand loaning - I

Many social problems result from loans because many people overlook
the etiquettes which Islam legislated for the debtor and the creditor,
and should the debtors and the creditors adhere to such etiquettes,
then many problems would be solved.
Some of these etiquettes regarding the creditor are to delay the
debtor who is unable to pay on due time and to drop the debt from the
needy. On the other hand, the debtor should rush and repay the loan as
soon as he is able to and not to procrastinate repayment. In part one
of this article we will address what is related to the creditor, while
part two will concentrate on matters pertaining to the debtor.
The Creditor:
· Giving respite to the debtor: When the time of repayment is
due, then the one who was kind to his brother and loaned him some
money should remember the Saying of Allaah )which means(:"And if
someone is in hardship, then ]let there be[ postponement until ]a time
of[ ease. But if you give ]from your right as[ charity, then it is
better for you, if you only knew."]Quran 2: 280[.
In this verse, Allaah enjoins patience and tolerance for the one who
is poor and cannot repay on time and that the creditor should postpone
the deadline. This command came to change the old practice during
pre-Islamic era were the creditor used to say to the debtor: "Either
you pay or I start calculating interest on the loan". Also, the verse
comes directly after the verses addressing the issue of Riba )i.e.
interest and usury( in which Allaah Says )what means(:"O you who have
believed, fear Allaah and give up what remains ]due to you[ of Riba
)i.e. interest and interest(, if you should be believers. And if you
do not, then be informed of a war ]against you[ from Allaah and His
Messenger. But if you repent, you may have your principal-]thus[ you
do no wrong, nor are you wronged."]Quran 2: 278-279[. Allaah did not
specify the type of war He would wage against those who deal with
Riba; whether it is in the form of afflicting them with diseases,
making them suffer famine and poverty or a military war.
Jaabirreported that the Messenger of Allaahsaid:"May Allaah show mercy
to a man who adopts a kind attitude when he sells, buys and demands
for the repayment of loans."]Al-Bukhaari[ This person deserved the
mercy of Allaah because he dealt with people kindly and postponed the
one who could not repay him and whenever asked for his money, he
demanded it gently with kind words as not to hurt the feelings of the
debtor.
These prophetic narrations deeply affected the companionsand they
acted upon them. 'Abdullaah Ibn Abu Qataadahreported: "My father )i.e.
Abu Qataadah( went to a man who was indebted to him, so the debtor hid
from him. Later, Abu Qataadah saw the debtor and requested his money
but the later informed him that he could not repay him because he did
not possess the money and that his financial situation was very tight.
Upon hearing this, Abu Qataadah, asked the man saying; `Are you really
in a tight situation? ` The man responded with the affirmative.
Thereupon my father said: I heard the Messenger of Allaahsaying:"He
who likes Allaah to deliver him from the calamities of the Day of
Resurrection, let him either give respite to a debtor or grant him
remission )of loans( in straitened circumstances." Then he
cried"]Muslim[
In another narration, hesaid:"He who gives respite to someone who is
in straitened circumstances, or grants him remission, Allaah will
shelter him in the shade of His Throne, on the Day of Resurrection,
when there will be no shade except His shade."]At-Tirmithi[
Abu Qataadahwas not the only one who behaved in such a manner. Rather,
this was the way the entire community of the companionsdealt with each
other.
Many of the companions delayed the debtors who could not pay on time
for long periods, and in many cases they even dropped and waived the
entire debt altogether.
This was so because they lived the prophetic narrations practically in
their lives. Some of them used to lend others just to get the reward
mentioned in some narrations like the saying of the Messenger of
Allaah:"Any Muslim who lends another Muslim twice will get a reward as
if he has spent this money in charity."Another narration that was an
encouraging factor is the saying of the Messenger of Allaah:"He who
gives respite to someone who is in straitened circumstances, will get
a reward as if he has spent this amount in charity for every day he
delays him until its due date, and after it becomes due he will get
double such reward."
Giving respite and delaying those in tough situations can be the
reason of rescuing oneself from Hell. Abu Hurayrahreported that the
Messenger of Allaahsaid:"There was a person who used to loan money to
the people and he used to say to his servant: `When an insolvent
person comes to you, show him leniency so that Allaah may forbear our
faults. ` So when he met Allaah )i.e., when he died(, Allaah forgave
him."]Al-Bukhaari & Muslim[
Abu Mas`ood Al-Badrireported that the Messenger of Allaahsaid:"A
person from amongst the people who lived before you was called to
account by Allaah on the Day of Resurrection. No good deeds were found
in his credit except that he, being a rich man, had )financial(
dealings with people and had commanded his servants to show leniency
to those who were in straitened circumstances. Upon this, Allaah, the
Exalted and Majestic Said: `I am more entitled to this attribute, so
waive )his faults(.`"]Muslim[
The abovementioned verses and narrations are a great encouragement for
the creditor to postpone and give respite to the debtors who can not
repay on time due to their strenuous situations. They are messages to
the rich who lend others and embarrass them and humiliate them, and
may even be the cause for their imprisonment. Indeed, the creditor has
the right to do so, but Allaah Says )what means(:"… but whoever
pardons and makes reconciliation, then his reward is ]due[ from Allaah
…"]Quran 42: 40[.
Undoubtedly, the reward from Allaah is far better than money which is
an interim pleasure.

Dought & clear, - Is it permissible for them to use their father’s money when he does not pray?.

My father, May Allah guide him, does not pray. He does not pray unless
he is in a public place or at work, so he does not become embarrassed
if people notice that he does not pray. But he does not consider
prayers with care. An imam and a congregation from a masjid have
advised him to pray, he prayed for a few weeks then stopped. He used
to pray Friday prayer before, and now he stopped even praying the
jumu'ah prayer.
My question is: Is his money that he spends on us halal or haram?
Does the hadeeth of the prophet, peace be upon him that says: "There
is no flesh that is nourished by haram things, but the Fire will be
more entitled to it." Apply to us, his children, or not?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Not praying is a major sin and cause of doom; in fact it is kufr
according to the more correct of the two scholarly opinions, as has
been explained in the answer to question no. 5208and 2182.
The kufr of the one who does not pray leads to numerous rulings in
life and after death. Meat slaughtered by him is not halaal, it is not
valid for him to be a wali (guardian) or witness in case of marriage,
and if he dies he is not to be washed or the prayer offered for him,
and he cannot be buried with the Muslims.
You should carry on calling him, advising him and reminding him, in
the hope that he may repent and come back to Islam. See the answer to
question no. 47425.
Secondly:
The money that he spends on you is not regarded as haraam or impure,
so long as he earns it in a permissible manner, such as a job or trade
and the like. What is meant by the hadeeth, "Every body that is
nourished on haraam, the Fire is more befitting for it" [narrated by
al-Tabaraani and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh
al-Jaami'(4519)] is wealth that is taken in haraam ways such as
stealing, deceit and so on.
We ask Allaah to guide you and give you strength, and to guide your
father and enable him to repent.
And Allaah knows best.