Fathwa, - Responsibilities regarding womenfolk

Question:
As salaam alaikum,
Shaykh, my question isregarding sisters. If one's sister is not
married and, due to her fussy nature, seems unlikely to marry in the
near future, does the responsibility of her welfare lie upon the
father's shoulders? Taking into consideration the fact that she is in
her mid 30's and her father is in his mid 60's. She works and
socializes as she wishes, but she is punctual regarding Salaah etc.
And I know for certain she only socialises with fellow Muslimahs. The
fact that she has refused allproposals given, does this make my father
sinful and will the sin in-turn fall upon me her younger brother (but
the eldest of two brothers). Also, I intend to study abroad, would the
responsibility of my sister fall upon my head if my father was to pass
away, taking into consideration the independent nature of women (my
sister most definitely included) in the West. For example I am almost
certain she would not travel abroad with me, and I probably wouldn't
be able to afford it (myself being married).
Shaykh, sorry for the awkward way I have written my question, it's
more a query needing advice than a formal question. Anyhow, thanks for
taking the time to consider and hopefullyprovide a solution to my
situation.
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Dear Brother,
1. Refusing marriage:
Your sister's refusal to get married is not a sin. Your father is also
not responsible if his daughter refuses to get married. You also do
not incur any sin if your sister keeps refusing marriage. That is her
prerogative.
2. According to a previous answer by Shaykh Muhammad ibn Adam
al-Kawthari, your father is generally required to support his grown
daughter, provided he is able and she is in need of support.However,
he may ask his daughter to assist in her maintenance, although he may
not ask her to work outside the home. Please visit Fiqh of
financially supporting one's parents and other relatives.
3. If your father passes away, you will be required to support
yoursister only if you are ableand she is poor and unmarried. Your
first priority is supporting your wife and children. After that, if
you are able, then you should provide for your sister if she is
unmarried. Once again, you may ask her to help out, but you cannot
demand that she work outside the home.
Last but not least, it's best to come to some sort of arrangement that
is beneficial to everyone.If your sister has no problem with working,
then it may be advisable for her to contribute to her upkeep,
especially if your father is getting along in years. In fact, if your
father is himself in need of support, then both you and your sister
must support him, regardless of her marital status.
I pray this helps.
And Allah knows best.

Fathwa, - My husband doesnt understand my feelings regards to living with hisfamily

Question:
I've been married for 11 months now and and me and my husband are
expectingour first child in April. In general I am very happy with my
husband and i love him very much, the only problem is living with his
family. he has loads of brothers and sisters some are married but they
are always around with their children and their husbands there isn't
much privacy. His mum is constantlymoaning about something or the
other and it is really getting me down and I feel like any day now I'm
goingto have a mental breakdown. the problem is my husband knows how i
feel about living with his family, but his refusing to to do anything
about it. I can't take this anymore. please help me with this problem
and what can i do to make my husband see how im feeling. Im notasking
him to disown his family or anything like that just that i need my own
space.
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Dear Sister,
I pray this message finds you well. Congratulationson your pregnancy!
A woman has the right toseparate lodging from her in-laws. At the very
least, your husband is obliged to provide you with a separate living
space, bedroom, bath, and kitchen.
Please communicate your concerns to your husband emphasizing:
1. the importance of fulfilling one's responsibilities towards one's spouse
2. the importance of privacy in building a strong and lasting marriage
3. the importance of having your own space (and some peace and quiet)
when the baby arrives
I pray that you can work out a solution that is to the benefit of all involved.

Fathwa, - Are men wiser than women according to Islam?

Question:
Assalam o alaikum
Alhamdulillah, I feel extremely strong in my faith and do not question
the Qur'an, Hadith, Sunnah or the orthodox scholars. But I am taking a
class called Women in Islam, which is taught in a subtly feminist
approach and I find myself knowing that the readings or issues I am
reading are beingmisinterpreted but I lack enough knowledge to wisely
argue my points out. Therefore, I am forwarding the questions here in
hopeof a logical answer that can be presented to a non-Muslim Western
classroom.
The following ahadith which I found while researching and whichare
also mentioned in my book:
The meaning of this verse is: I have made men overseers of women
because I havegranted the former superiority over the latter. This is
due to three reasons viz.
a. perfect understanding
b. perfection of deen and obedience in jihadand commanding the good
and forbidding the evil etc. This has been explained by Nabi
sallallahu alaihi wasallam in an authentic Hadith.
"I have not seen any one of deficient intellect and deen whois more
destructive to the intelligence of a cautious man than youwomen."
The women asked:"Why is that, O messenger of Allh?" Hereplied: "Do you
not spend a few nights without performing salh and without keeping
fast? This is the deficiency of her deen and the testimony of one of
you equals half the testimony of a single man - this is the deficiency
of her intellect. "... so that if one of the two womenerrs, the second
wouldremind her". (Al Baqarah, verse 281)
Questions that can be raised here are:
points (a) and (b) are not women's fault then. Then why did God make
them like that. For extremely atheistic or secular people this could
showa deficiency in God nauzubillah or it demonstrates that Godis
perhaps a masculinefigure or if not, then I mean I cannot reason with
why God would want to make women weaker like that. That shows an
inherent lackof equality then. And no matter how much one tries to
please oneself with the idea that oh how lucky you don't have to pray
for aweek or whatever...it still boils down to whycould not women be
made equally intelligent. And also orientalist scholars could say that
Prophet (saw) was chauvinistic. Why did he speak so patronizingly
(in"progressive" perspective) about women?
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Dear Sister,
Thank you for your question. It is certainly an important one.
I have not been able to find a satisfactory explanation for this
hadith. I pray that one ofour esteemed scholars will offer us a new
perspective on this hadith, especially since many non-Muslims like
tocite this hadith as evidence that Islam discriminates against women.
I would caution against interpreting this hadith at face value for the
simple reason that the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace,
was famous for his kind and equitable treatment of women. Therefore,
for him to make a blanket statement about women's supposed inferiority
requires someamount of interpretive flexibility on our part. For those
who would accuse us of being apologists for the hadith,I would respond
that every religious tradition has texts which appear to privilege men
over women. The challenge for believers in modern times is to discover
new interpretive possibilities for these texts.
What I find especially fascinating about this hadith is what emerges
when you read between the lines. Was the Prophet, Allah bless him and
give him peace, alluding to a certain group of women? Could this have
been a wake-up call for women who were slacking in their deen?
I don't believe that we can take one hadith and jump to the conclusion
that the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, was saying that
women are created inferior.
In fact, when you examine the overall framework governing gender
issues in both theQur'an and Hadith, the core idea that emerges isthat
males and females share the same essence.
The Qur'an says,
"O mankind! Be careful of your duty to your LordWho created you from a
single soul and from it created its mate and from them twain hath
spread abroad a multitude of men and women. Be careful of your duty
toward Allah in Whom ye claim (your rights) of one another, and toward
the wombs (that bare you). Lo! Allah hath been a watcher over you."
(An-Nisa, 4:1)
And
"And their Lord hath accepted of them, and answered them: "Never will
I suffer to be lost the work of any of you, be he male or female: Ye
aremembers, one of another..." (Aal Imran, 3:195)
However, the Qur'an clearly indicates that men and women are distinct
and unique:
"...and the male is not as the female..." (Aal Imran, 3:36)
When I read hadiths that seem to imply some intrinsic distinction
between men and women, I marvel at the Prophet's profound
understanding of humannature. Scientific research is discovering more
and more that women and men are really not the same. There are
inherent biological and emotionaldifferences which shouldbe accounted
for. In the field of medicine, for example, experts are discovering
the need for gender-specific medicinethat addresses women's unique
health concerns. As one scientist said, women are not little men!
Back to the issue of hadith, it's important to weigh "problematic"
hadith against others which speak more favorably of women. In many
hadith, including the above, which is rigorously authenticated,the
Prophet, peace be upon him, expressed deep concern for the women of
his community.
For example, the Prophet, peace be upon him, was reported to have said,
"Fear Allah regarding women. Verily you have married them with the
trust of Allah, and made their bodies lawful with the word of Allah.
You have got (rights) over them, and they have got (rights) over you
in respect of their food andclothing according to your means."
Last but not least.

Etiquettes related to debt and loaning – II

Repaying in the best manner:
The debtor should repay in the best manner. Abu Hurayrahreported: "A
harsh Bedouin came to the Messenger of Allaahasking him to repay a
young camel hehad borrowed from this Bedouin. The Bedouin used harsh
words when he was demanding his money, so the companions were about to
strike him for doing so, but the Messenger of Allaahsaid:'Leave him!
Indeed a creditor has the right todemand it )i.e. his loan(.'The
companions could not find a young camel among the brought ones)from
Zakaah( to match the level of that which was borrowed, and informed
the Messenger of Allaahthat all the camels were of the best type. The
Prophetsaid:'Give it to him, for it is the best of all people who pays
back in the best manner.']Muslim[ In another narration narrated by Abu
Sa'eedthe Prophettold the companionswho were enraged with the
Bedouin:"Youshould side with the one who is demandinghis right."
Unfortunately, nowadays people hardly side with the one demanding his
right, and in some cases even judges deprive people from their rights,
and receive bribes to sidewith the debtor instead of siding with the
creditor … woe to them and what a severe punishment awaits them in
Hell on the Day of Judgment.
When the Bedouin saw the good manner in which the Prophetrepaid him,
he thanked him, and thereupon the Prophetsaid:"These are the best type
of people )i.e. who repay in the best manner(. There is no good in a
nation whose poor cannot take their rights from their rich without
being harassed."The Prophetsaid this because sometimes the poor might
get his right back but only after he suffers and is delayed and is put
in embarrassing situations.
Additionally, the debtor must rely on Allaah in his attempt to repay
the creditor. Abu Hurayrahreported that the Messenger of Allaahsaid:"A
man from the children of Israeli asked another to lend him one
thousand Deenaars. The second said, `I want a surety witness' the
former replied, `Allaah is sufficient as a surety witness' The second
said, you areright, and he lent him the money for an appointed time.
The debtor went across the sea, and when he finished his job, he
searched for a conveyance so thathe might reach in time for the
repayment of the debt, but he could not find any. So, he took a piece
of wood, made a hole in it, inserted in it one thousand Deenaars and a
letter to the lender and then closed )i.e. sealed( the hole tightly.
He took the piece of wood to the sea and said: "O Allaah! You know
very well that I took a loan of one thousand Deenaars from so-and-so.
He demanded a surety from me but I told him that Allaah's Guarantee
was sufficient, and he accepted Your Guarantee. He thenasked for a
witness and I told him that Allaah was sufficient as a witness, and he
accepted You as a witness. No doubt, I tried hard to find a conveyance
so that I could pay his money but I could not find any, so I hand over
this money to You" Saying that, he threw the piece of wood into the
sea till it went out far into it, and then he went away. Meanwhile he
started searching for a conveyance in order to reach the creditor's
country.
"One day the lender came out of his house to see whether a ship had
arrived bringing his money, and all of a sudden he saw the piece of
wood )i.e. the one in which his money had been deposited(. He took it
home to use for fire. When he sawed it, hefound his money and the
letter inside it. Shortly after that, the debtor came bringing one
thousand Deenaars to him and said, By Allaah, I had been trying hard
to get a boat so that I could bring you your money, but failed to get
one before the one I have come by. The lender asked, have you sent
something to me? The debtor replied, `I have told you I could not get
a boat other than the one I have come by. The lender said, `Allaah has
delivered on your behalf the money you sent in the piece of wood. So,
youmay keep your one thousand Deenaars so depart guided on theright
path."]Al-Bukhaari[
This is the consequence of relying on Allaah, and when one's intention
is sincere in repayment, then Allaah will assist himin his attempt.
The problem that faces many indebted people is that they are not truly
sincere in their intention to repay the debt to the creditor and thus
they become deprived of the assistance of Allaah.
Late salaries:
This is one type of debt which the employer owes the employee. Some
people might workfor a certain period and their contract is terminated
and they leave the country whilst the employer owes them part of their
salaries that he did not pay them. Undoubtedly, this is a debt on the
part of the employer and he must look for them if they leave before he
fulfilled their payments or salaries, even if he has to travel to
their countries in order to pay them off.
The following narration indicates the greatness ofthe right of the
employee; `Abdullaah bin`Umarnarrated that he heard Messenger of
Allaahas saying:"Three men, amongst those who came before you, set out
until night came and they reached a cave, so they entered it. A rock
fell down from the mountain and blocked the entrance of the cave. They
said: `Nothing will save you from this unless you supplicate to Allaah
by virtue of a righteous deed you have done.`"The Messenger of
Allaahmentioned what each of them said and one of them said:"`O
Allaah! I hired some laborers and paid them their wages except one of
them departed without taking his due. I invested his money in business
and the business prospered greatly. After a long time, he came to me
and said: O slave of Allaah! Pay me my dues. I said: Allthat you see
is yours - camels, cattle, goats and slaves. He said: O slave of
Allaah! Do not mock at me. I assured him that I was not joking. So he
took all the things and went awayhe spared nothing. O Allaah! If I did
so seeking Your Pleasure, then relieve us of our distress.` The rock
slipped aside and they got out walking freely."]Al-Bukhaari & Muslim[
Nowadays, employers oppress their employees and eat up their rights
and salaries … but the right of these employees will not be wasted
with Allaah, and their oppression will not be left unattended even if
they die before getting their rights, because there will come a Day
when everything will be accounted for and then repayment will be in a
different form … it will bein rewards from their records. Therefore,
employers are advised to rush and fulfill the payment for their
employees before that Day comes.
Procrastinating payment:
Some debtors delay and procrastinate for no needeven when they have
themoney to repay, but he acts so mean and low and pays back in
installments to the creditor. One might have a debt of fifty thousand
for example, and starts repaying five hundred every month, other
months he might pay only two hundred, and a third month he would pay a
thousand and so on, despite him having the entire amount, but he just
wants the creditorto give up on him and hisdebt, and this is extreme
stinginess.
Such people make the creditor appear like the poor person who is
chasing after money, whilst it is his right. He forces him in some
cases to beg him to repay, so that he )i.e. the creditor( can fulfill
his own obligations which he might have arranged their payment based
on the agreed upon promiseof repayment from the debtor.
Finally, it is recommended that the debtor says nice words ofgratitude
to the creditor upon repaying him as this softens the heart
andencourages the creditor to loan others in the future.