I am a 16 year old muslim girl, from a "non-practising muslim family".
I am the only one in the family who prays and try to follow Islam as
good as I can. My family is against me praying and being a practising
muslim. My mother dosnt want me to pray Isha and fajr prayer because
it is too late/early. But I do it anyways, and I try to hide it as
good as I can. And when she asks me if I pray those prayers I always
lie about it and say I don't, is it okay to lie in such a situation?
Also I have quitted my job, I used to work at a pizza place and I sold
pork pizza to the customers, my mother dosn't know about this yet, and
I have considered to lie, and say I got fired. Is it permissible for
me to lie in such a situation?
And I have another issue:We are going to anothercountry in next month,
and I'll miss zuhr and asr prayer, I am not allowed to pray at all in
the train while we're travelling. And when we arrive to our
destination I am afraid that I'll not be allowed to pray Isha andfajr
prayer there... I don't know what to do, and I have read that you can
pray two prayers together, but I don't know how? Should zuhr and asr
prayer be prayed together like, you pray zuhr at the time of zuhr and
right after that you pray asr? Or in some other way?
And if I miss more than one prayer, in what orders should they be made
up? And I am also not allowed to wear the hijab, but I try my best
todress modestly.. Now that it's summer my mother wants me to wear
t-shirts & shorts. But I refuse totally to wear shorts, but sometimes
I do wear t-shirts outside, she complains alot about my skin, because
I'm pale, and she thinks the sun is healthy for me. But I hate to
disobey Allah, and wear t-shirts, but I just get very upset whenshe
yells at me and says she worries about me etc. I get really sad
because I want to see her happy too.. But I don't want to sin either.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
We were very happy to receive this message andwe praise Allah, may He
be exalted, for having enabled you to be keen to follow your religion,
adhere to the commandsof your Lord and be patient in putting up with
the harm you encounter because of that. Allah, may He be exalted,
commanded His slaves to be patient and persevere, and to be steadfast
in obeying Him, no matter what harm they face. Allah, may He be
exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
"O you who believe! Endure and be more patient (than your enemy), and
guard your territory by stationing army units permanently at the
places from wherethe enemy can attack you, and fear Allah, so that you
may be successful"
[Aal 'Imraan 3:200]
"As for those who strive hard in Us (Our Cause), We will surely guide
them to Our Paths (i.e. Allahs Religion - Islamic Monotheism). And
verily,Allah is with the Muhsinoon (good doers)"
[al-'Ankaboot 29:69].
You should understand that whatever you face of difficulty and harm
for the sake of doing what Allah has enjoined upon you of acts of
worship, obligatory duties and wearing hijab, all of that is for the
sake of Allah, and your putting up with that harm and these problems
is the best kindof patience that Allah has enjoined upon His slaves:
patience in obeying Allah and patience in putting up with the harm
that one may encounter for the sake of his religion and his adherence
to it. Allah, may He be exalted,has told us that His Messengers
announced to their people that they would remain steadfast on the path
of their Lordto which He had guided them, no matter what befell them
of harm from their people:
"And why should we not put our trust in Allah while He indeed has
guided us our ways. And we shall certainly bear with patience all the
hurt you may cause us, and in Allah (Alone) let those who trust, put
their trust"
[Ibraaheem 14:12].
In the hadeeth, it is narrated that the Prophet (blessings and peace
of Allah be upon him) said: "Ahead of you there are days of patience
when patience will be like grasping live coals, and the one who does
good deeds will have the reward of fifty men who do deeds like his."
Someone else added: He said: O Messenger of Allaah, the reward of
fifty of them? He said: "The reward of fifty of you."
Narrated by Abu Dawood, 4343; classed asqawiy by al-Albaani.
Think about this living example of one of those who came before, their
keenness to obey the Lord of the Worlds and how they put up with
hardships and horror in order to achieve that.
It was narrated that Khabbaab ibn al-Aratt said: "We complained to the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when
he was reclining on his cloak in the shadeof the Ka'bah. And we said:
Why don't you ask Allah to make us prevail?Why don't you make du'aa'
for us? He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Among
the people who came before you, a man would be taken and put into a
hole dug for him in the earth, then a saw would be brought and put on
his head and he would be cut into two pieces, and that did still not
turn him away from his religion. And an iron comb would be used to
tear the flesh from his bones or sinews, but thisstill did not turn
him away from his religion." Narrated by al-Bukhaari,3612
With regard to your mother, hers is a very strange case that is very
sad. Instead of the mother adhering to her religion and being an
example for her daughter and teaching her, she has become as you
describe. Verily to Allah we belong and verily to Him we shall return.
We ask Allah to guide her to His religion,open her heart to it and
protect you against her evil.
And beware of letting your mother and her stubbornness prevent you
from following the religion of Allah, may He be exalted, or divert you
from His path. Her anger with you for obeying your Lord does not
matter, because obedience to Allah takes precedence over obedience to
anyone else. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
said: "There is no obedience to anyone if it involves sin; rather
obedience is only in that which is right and proper." Narrated by
al-Bukhaari,7257; Muslim, 1840. And he (blessings and peace of Allah
be upon him) said: "There is no obedience to any created being if it
involves disobedience towards Allah, may He beglorified and exalted."
Narrated by Ahmad, 1098
Thirdly:
If you are not able to offer the prayers or follow any other commands
of your Lord or keep away from anything that Allah has forbidden
except by telling lies to your mother, there is no blame on you, in
sha Allah, for telling her lies, although it is better for you to
employ double entendres in your speech, i.e., tell her things that
will make herfeel comfortable and spare you from her harm, whilst you
intend a correct meaning without drawing her attention to it. For
example, if she asks you, "Did you pray?" you can say, "No," but what
you intend in your heart is that you did not pray Taraweeh, for
example, or qiyaam al-layl, or you did not pray anything except the
fard (obligatory) prayer, and so on.
With regard to wearing hijab, try to convince herthat this is the
commandof your Lord and that it is also your choice, and strive hard
to avoid her evil and harm as much asyou can. Seek the help ofyour
Lord and ask Him toguide her and keep you safe from her evil.
Thirdly:
The traveller may avail himself of the concessions of travelling,which
include offering the four-rak'ah prayers (Zuhr, 'Asr and 'Isha') with
two rak'ahs only. This will make it easier for you to pray when you
are with your mother, because the time needed to pray tworak'ahs is
shorter than the time needed to pray four.
Another concession granted to the traveller is that he may put two
prayers together, so he may pray Zuhr and 'Asr together at the same
time, praying Zuhr with two rak'ahs, then praying 'Asr with two
rak'ahs. That may be done at the time of the earlier prayer, i.e.,
offering the two prayersat the time of Zuhr, before the usual time
for'Asr begins, or it may be done at the time of the later prayer, so
if the time for Zuhr has begun and he did not pray, he may wait until
the time for 'Asr begins, then offer the two prayers together.
Similarly, Maghrib and 'Isha' prayers may be offered at the time of
the earlier or later prayer, but it should be noted that Maghrib
cannot be shortened when travelling; rather it should be offered
withthree rak'ahs as usual.
With regard to Fajr, it should be offered with two rak'ahs at the
proper time, when dawnhas broken, until the sunrises.
This putting together of prayers will be helpful for you, because you
canchoose the time when your mother is not paying any attention to
you, or she is busy with something, or you can give her the impression
that you have gone to the bathroom, and the like, or you can pray when
you stop for a break, far away from her, or after you reach your
destination, if you are going to arrive before the time for the second
prayer ends, and so on.
See also the answers to questions no. 82658 , 105109 , 38079
Finally, we advise you to remain steadfast in your obedience to your
Lord, and be keen to please Him; always remember your Lord and read
His Book, so that your mind and heart will be at rest and you will
increase in guidance. Strive hard to learn the rulings of your
religion and adhere to them as much as you can, until Allah grants you
relief and a way out from the situation you are in.
And Allah knows best.
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And Allah Knows the Best!
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Published by :->
M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA
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'' Our Lord ! grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter and save us from the torment of the Fire '' [Ameen]
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{in Arab} :->
Rabbanaa aatinaa fid-dunyaa hasanatan wafil aakhirati hasanatan waqinaa 'athaaban-naar/-
(Surah Al-Baqarah ,verse 201)
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