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Sunday, December 2, 2012

Bad behaviour in Islam - He is intimate with his wife and his ex-wife in the same bed

I am desperately hoping that inshallah you will be able to give me
some advice. I am a new Muslimah and am still learning about the laws
of Islam and am in a situation where I do not know whether what my
husband is telling me to do is haraam/makroo/zina. He will be
remarrying his ex-wife as soon as she gets divorced from her estranged
husband. This past week, she came over to stay so that we could meet.
His plan is that we will all live in one house. They have a son
together. We get along well, Alhamdulillah! He had us all three lying
in bed together and both of us cuddled up to him, whilehe insisted
that we werenaked. There were timeswhen he made us expose our
nakedness toeach other and he would kiss and caress us in front of
each other in this state. He also made us touch each other. He talks
about us all sharingone bed three nights a week when we live together.
My question is: Is any of this haraam/zina? I wantto please my
husband, but I do not want to anger Allah to do it.
I am also deeply concerned about him at this stage, whilst they ate
both not married to each other, but married to other people and
theyare doing everything but penetration (he says then it is not
adultery).
Please answer my question. I have searched everywhere foranswers on
intimate relations with co-wives in the same bed and can find nothing.
I know that intimacy between two women (lesbianism)is zina, but where
does this stand?
Praise be to Allah.
If the 'iddah (waiting period following divorce) of a
revocably-divorced wife ends, she becomes a "stranger" to the husband
like any other women who are not related to him; it is not permissible
for him to touch her, look at her or be alone with her, and if she
gets married to another man, the matter becomes more serious and more
abhorrent.
Based on that, so long asyour husband has not done a marriage contract
with this woman, what he is doing of embracing her, touching her or
kissing her is one of the gravest of evil actions. We do not know how
any Muslim can do such a thing. If he has decided to marry her, how
can he not have any patience to avoid what is haraam, until she
becomes permissible to him?! We ask Allah to keep us safe and sound.
If this woman is still married to her (current) husband or he has
divorced her but she is still in the 'iddah (waiting period), then it
is even more serious andmore abhorrent, as stated above, and she is
betraying her husband.
Whatever the case, whatyour husband is doing with this woman is
blatant immorality and itis a kind of zina (adultery). Zina is of
varying degrees, some of which incur the hadd punishment, namely
intercourse in the vagina, and some are less serious than that, such
as looking, touching and so on. But all of them are haraam and one
leads to the other, darkness upon darkness. We ask Allah tokeep us
safe and sound by His grace. Al-Bukhaari(5744) and Muslim (4801)
narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (blessings and peace of
Allah be upon him) said: "Allah has decreed for the son of Adam his
share of zina which he will inevitably fall into. The zina of the eyes
is looking, the zina of the tongue is speaking, the nafs (self) wishes
and longs, and the private part confirmsthat or denies it."
And he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Any woman who
takes off her clothes anywhere but in her husband's house, has torn
the screen that was between her and Allaah."
Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 3750; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani
If your husband is encouraging this woman to get divorced from her
(current) husband so that she can go back to him, then he has fallen
into another sin, which is ruining her and spoiling her for her
husband. It was narratedthat Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with
him) said: The Messengerof Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) said: "He is not one of us who turns a woman against her husband
or a slave against his master." Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2175; classed
assaheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
Abu Dawood also narrated (5170) that AbuHurayrah (may Allah be pleased
with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah
be upon him) said: "Whoever turns a man's wife or slave against himis
not one of us." Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
Shaykh 'Abd al-'Azeem Abaadi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
"Whoever turns… against" means whoeverdeceives and corrupts.
"a woman against her husband" by mentioningthe husband's bad qualities
in front of his wife, or the good qualities of another manin front of
her.
End quote from 'Awn al-Ma'bood, 6/159
And he said: "Whoever turns a man's wife against him" means ruining
and corrupting her, or making the idea of divorce seem good to her, so
that he could marry her or someone else can marry her, and so on.
'Awn al-Ma'bood, 14/52
Some scholars are of the view that if a man turns a woman against her
husband, it is permanently haraam for him to marry her, and his
marriage to her is not valid.
See the answer to question no. 84849
To sum up, what your husband is doing in front of you is a great evil,
and it is not permissible for you to approve of it or keep quiet about
it, let alone take part in it. What you have to do is exhort
yourhusband and advise him,and explain to him that what he is doing is
abhorrent and haraam. If he stops, then praise be to Allah, but if he
persists in this action it isnot permissible for you to be present
when this evil is being committed. You can threaten to expose him and
disclose what he is doing. Then ifhe persists in that, it is
permissible for you to ask for a divorce, because of his evildoing and
sin.
Secondly:
Being together with twowives in one bed is permissible subject to
three conditions:
(i) That it be with their consent, because the wife has
a right to separate accommodation and her jealousy may prevent her
from allowing another wife to share her bed.
(ii) Neither of them should uncover her'awrah in front of
the other. The 'awrah of onewoman in front of another in the area
between the navel and the knee. It is haraam for a woman to look at
the 'awrah of another woman.
(iii) He should not have intercourse with one of them in
the presence of the other. See the answer to question no. 26265
Thirdly:
If a woman touches another woman with desire, that is haraam; if there
is no desire, that there is nothing wrong with it.
Fourthly:
One of the rights that the wife has over her husband is that he should
give her her own accommodation, and shehas the right to refuse tolive
with her co-wife.
We ask Allah to guide us and you and to make us steadfast.
And Allah knows best.

Bad behaviour in Islam - A girl gave him a silver bracelet, then he repented from his relationship with her. What should he do with the bracelet?

In Jahiliya, before Allah has guided me to the right path, my
girlfriend gifted me a silver bracelet. I had promised her that I will
not remove the bracelet from my hand. Now I stopped her
relationshipfor the sake of Allah. Recently I came to know that
wearing silver bracelet is haraam. I dont know what to do now.
1) Should I break the promise and remove the bracelet? or
2) I cannot return it to her Im not in touch. So, can I sell it if I
should notuse it anymore? or
3) What should I do withthe money If I can sell it?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
It is haraam for you to wear this bracelet, because bracelets are
jewellery for women, whether they are made of gold, silver or anything
else. So it is notpermissible for men to wear them. Rather it is
permissible for them to wear rings of silver.
See the answer to question no. 1980 and 148059
Secondly:
If a person makes a promise to someone to do something haraam ornot do
something obligatory, it is not permissible for him to fulfil his
promise.
It is not permissible for you to fulfil your promise to her to wear
the bracelet and never take it off, because it is apromise to do
something haraam.
If a vow to commit sin should not be fulfilled, and in fact is not
permissible according tothe consensus of the Muslims, as Ibn Qudaamah
(may Allah have mercy on him) said in al-Mughni (10/69), then it is
even more appropriate to say that apromise to do something haraam
should not be fulfilled either.
Please see the answer to question no. 30861
Secondly:
Gifts are of two types:
(i)
Those that are purely gifts and are given as a token of respect or
friendship. These become the property of the recipient and it is not
permissible for the giver to take them back.
(ii)
Gifts given with the intention of getting something in return from the
recipient, which the fuqaha' call "gifts for which there is the hope
of recompense or reward". In this case, the giver may take his gift
back if he does not get what he wanted.
Based on that, if this girl gave you the bracelet so that you would
carry on your relationship with her, and you ended the relationship,
it is permissible for her to take back her gift. If she does not come
to you concerning it and does not ask for it, then there is no blame
on you and you do not have to give it back to her; you could give it
to a woman to wear if it is suitable for women, or you could sellit to
a jeweller or give it to him to make rings for men or jewellery that
is suitable for women.
And Allah knows best.

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And Allah Knows the Best!

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Published by :->
M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA

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Islamic Stories - The mercy of the merciful Prophet

A Bedouin came to Rasul Allah and told him, "Give me from what Allah
gaveyou, not from the wealthof your mother nor fromthe wealth of your
father." The Sahaabah were furious at the man and step forward to
discipline him for what he said. Rasul Allah commanded everyone
toleave him.
Then by the hand, Rasul Allah took him home, opened his door and said,
"Take what you wish and leave what youwish." The man did so and after
he completed, Rasul Allah asked him,"Have I honored you?""Yes, by
Allah,"
said the Bedouin. "Ash hadu an laa ilaaha illa Allah, wa ashhadu anna
Muhammadar Rasul Allah."
When the Sahabah heard of how the man changed, Rasul Allah taught them.
"Verily the example of myself, you and this Bedouin is that of a man
who had his camel run away. The townspeople tried capturing the camel
for him by running and shouting after the camel, only driving it
further away. The man would shout, 'Leave me and my camel,I know my
camel better.'Then he took some grassin his hand, ruffled it in front
of the camel, until it came willingly.
'By Allah, had I left you to this Bedouin, you would have hit him,
hurthim, he would have left without Islam and eventually have entered
hellfire."

Islamic Stories - Learn from this man, he is the best

When Mu'aawiyah ibn al-Hakam al-Salami cameto Madeenah from the
desert, he did not know that it was forbidden to speak during the
salaah. He relates: "Whilst I was praying behind the Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), a man sneezed, so
I said 'Yarhamuk Allaah (may Allaah have mercy on you).' The people
glared at me, so I said, 'May my mother lose me! What is wrong with
you that youare looking at me?' They began to slap their thighs with
their hands, and when I saw that they were indicating that I should be
quiet, I stopped talking (i.e., I nearly wanted to answerthem back,
but I controlled myself and kept quiet).
When the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) had finished praying - may my father and mother be sacrificedfor
him, I have never seen a better teacher than him before or since- he
did not scold me or hit me or put me to shame. He just said, 'This
prayer should contain nothing of the speech ofmen; it is only tasbeeh
and takbeer and recitation of the Qur'aan.'" Source: Saheeh Muslim,
'Abd al-Baaqi edn., no. 537.
May Allah give us the beautiful qualities of Prophet Muhammad (SAW).

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And Allah Knows the Best!

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Published by :->
M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA

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