Engagment, Dought& clear, – * She has received amarriage proposal froma person who has some shortcomings which she is trying to deal with and discuss

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I am in need of some scholarly advice about a personal situation that I am facing presently. I have recently received a marriage proposal and have prayed Salat-ul-istikhara, however I never seem to receive any clear signs or indications about what to do. This has happened to me in many situations and the same is happening now too. I am a practising Muslim but obviously have flaws as all of us do have. I have a thirst for knowledge of the deen and am currently working on myself as a Muslims and acquiring sacred knowledge at the same time. What I look and hope for in a partner is a role model who is beyond me and someone who can help me in becoming a better person. Someone who loves and lives for Allah swt and who I can turn to for knowledge and who will be a good companion for me. The current proposal has many good qualities, except a few things that are concerning me. Firstly we are on a slightly different level of speaking, ie. Although he is a graduate he is not extremely intellectually spoken (I suppose this is something I should overlook). Secondly he has been practising for less time than me and therefore I feel he has less knowledge than me, which I find an of put as I feel he should be my guide not vice versa. However he does have a thirst for knowledge and does study the deen and also wishes to take out a year or so to go abroad and study the deen (which is what I also want to do). Apart from these two issues I feel we are compatible in many other ways. We have the same vision in life. Whilst paying Salat-ul-Istikhara I am getting no clear sign, except at times I get a tight feeling in my heart at times, which puts me off, but then I also think I should go for this as he has many good qualities. Im not sure as to what to do and am really confused, I dont know what this feeling in my heart means. I have met him once and there will be another meeting this Friday, but I dont want to lag it on any longer than necessary as it is playing with peoples emotions. Please get back to me with a reply soon as I really need some advice, especially regarding my Istikhaara as it is confusing me.
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Praise be to Allaah.
The basic principle is that if a woman receives a marriage proposal from a man whose religious commitment, attitude and trustworthiness are satisfactory, then she should accept, so long as there is not another offer from one whose attitude and religious commitment are better. So if the one who has proposed marriage to you meets these criteria, and he is keen to learn more about Islam as you say, then this is a good sign. But if the shortcomings to which you refer in your question are major sins or sins in which he is persisting or committing openly, then we advise you to wait for someone better, so long as there is no risk of you doing something haraam or exposing yourself to greater fitnah (temptation).
Secondly:
It is not necessary in the case of istikhaarah to feel something specific afterwards. Rather if you consult people and think deeply about the matter, and it becomes clear to you that this matter will be beneficial both in religious and worldly terms, then you should pray istikhaarah and go ahead, and not wait for a sign or a dream or a feeling. You should rather put your trust in Allaah and go ahead after praying istikhaarah. You will find a detailed answer concerning istikhaarah and its rulings in Question no. 5882.
Thirdly:
Beware of being alone or of uncovering in front of this man who is still a non-mahram to you. In the answer to question no. 12182 you will find a detailed answer to your question regarding marriage proposals and sitting with and meeting the one who has proposed marriage to you. Please refer to this question.
Fourthly:
Your wish concerning what you hope to find in a husband, meaning that he lives for the sake of Allaah, is a great wish, and we hope that Allaah will grant you that. But you should know that a righteous woman is one of the greatest means that will help a man in this regard, by helping him and advising him, and encouraging him to do more, and patiently putting up with anything that affects her rights because of his being involved in doing righteous deeds.
We ask Allaah to help you to do that which is good. Ameen.

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General Dought & clear, - * How can the Muslim begin to seek knowledge?

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What is your advice to someone who wants to begin the journey of seeking knowledge, in terms of what he should begin with? And how can he do that?
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Praise be to Allah
The way in which Muslim should begin to seek knowledge is by starting with the most important matters. The seeker of knowledge should be keen to have a sound beginning, so that he can remain steadfast in seeking knowledge and not waste his time and effort.
The aim in seeking knowledge is so that the Muslim can rectify himself and others. So the seeker should begin with matters that are important for himself first of all, then for those around him.
The first step:
The seeker of knowledge should begin by attaining some general knowledge of the texts of revelation, because they are the main source for the religion of Allah, may He be exalted. So he should begin by memorising the Holy Qur’an, as much as his energy and free time allow, and he should be keen to understand what he memorises. For this purpose we advise him to study theTafseerof Shaykh ‘Abd ar-Rahmaan as-Sa‘di (may Allah have mercy on him), because this author is one of those who are well-known for sound belief, and his tafseer is written in straightforward language and easy to read.
At the same time, the seeker should strive hard to study ‘aqeedah (belief) and fiqh (jurisprudence); he cannot delay that because the seeker has a need for that for himself, and so that he can advise and guide the people around him.
With regard to ‘aqeedah, we have previously explained how to learn it gradually, in fatwa no. 226903.
With regard to fiqh, the best is for the seeker to begin with the madhhab that is most widespread in his own environment, for the following reasons:
1. because it will be easier for the seeker to find a shaykh who is well-versed in that madhhab, from whom he can learn and who can guide him;
2. because learning the madhhab of his fellow countrymen will help the seeker to call his fellow countrymen to the truth, because by doing so he will be able to seek help from the books that are available and the views of local scholars when there is a need for that.
Based on that, you can look for a shaykh in your local environment who is trustworthy in terms of his knowledge and religious commitment, and start studying with him, with the easiest text of the madhhab which will give you the view that is regarded by the scholars of that madhhab as more correct. The shaykh will be able to tell you of the evidence for every issue, without too much elaboration, and will help you to avoid a lot of the scholarly opinions that will not help you at the beginning of your quest for knowledge.
The second step:
As you memorise and study the first source of the law of Allah, may He be exalted, which is the Holy Qur’an, you can also begin to study the second source, which is the prophetic Sunnah beginning with the most important, then the next most important.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
There is no book better than the Book of Allah, may He be glorified and exalted. What I advise my brothers to do is to focus on the Holy Qur’an, memorising it, understanding it and acting upon it, for the Sahaabah (may Allah be pleased with them) did not go beyond ten verses until they had learned them and what they contain of knowledge and prescribed actions; they learned knowledge and put it into practice at the same time.
Then after that, you should focus on the hadiths that have been soundly narrated from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him). It is well-known that the hadiths that have been soundly narrated from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) are very many, and the seeker of knowledge who is at a beginner or intermediate level cannot learn all of them, but there are some books on this topic which can be referred to, such as‘Umdat al-Ahkaamby ‘Abd al-Ghani al-Maqdisi (may Allah have mercy on him);al-Arba‘een an-Nawawiyyahby an-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him); and other brief books. Then after that, he can move on to somewhat longer books, such asBuloogh al-Maraamandal-Muntaqa min Akhbaar al-Mustafa. Then after that, he can read further in the books of hadith, such asSaheeh al-BukhaariandSaheeh Muslim.
End quote fromMajmoo‘ Fataawa wa Rasaa’il Ibn ‘Uthaymeen(26/375-376).
After you have built a solid foundation in fiqh and gained an understanding of the most important issues of ‘aqeedah, you can prepare yourself for deeper study of the laws of Allah, learning about differences of opinion and how to determine which view is more likely to be correct, as there are specific tools for this task that you cannot do without, the most important of which are ‘ilm an-nahw was-sarf (study of Arabic language and grammar), ‘ilm usool al-fiqh (the funadamentals of fiqh) and ‘ilm al-hadith (study of hadith).
With regard to ‘ilm al-hadith, please see fatwa no. 153227, in which there is a detailed discussion of how to seek knowledge of hadith.
With regard to usool al-fiqh, the best is for the student to acquire knowledge thereof gradually, according to the books of usool of the madhhab that he is studying. So you should consult your shaykh from whom you are learning fiqh, so that he can advise you as to how you should begin studying usool al-fiqh.
With regard to ‘ilm an-nahw wa’s-sarf, you should begin withal-Ajroomiyyahand the commentary thereon,at-Tuhfat as-Sanniyyahby Shaykh Muhiy ad-Deen ‘Abd al-Hameed (may Allah have mercy on him).
ThenQatr an-Nada wa Ball as-Sadaby Ibn Hishaam.
Then after that,Alfiyyat Ibn Maalik, with its commentary by Ibn ‘Aqeel (may Allah have mercy on him).
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
With regard to nahw (Arabic grammar), he should start with brief books first, such asal-Ajroomiyyah, which is a useful, blessed and brief book that is divided into portions that the beginner can grasp, especially if Allah enables him to find a scholar who can explain it to him. Then after that, I advise him to memoriseAlfiyyah Ibn Maalik(may Allah have mercy on him) and understand its meanings, for it is a blessedAlfiyyahin which there is much good.
End quote fromMajmoo ‘ Fataawa Ibn ‘Uthaymeen(23/376).
In addition to these books, there are other books that discuss details of morphology (sarf) that the author ofal-Alfiyyahdid not deal with. The student may choose whatever he thinks is easy for him.
The third step:
After the seeker has learned about the most important tools of ijtihad, he may begin the step of deepening his knowledge of different views and ways of determining which view is more likely to be correct, whether that is in the field of fiqh, tafseer or hadith commentary.
It is also essential for the student to observe the etiquette and manners of seeking knowledge,
And Allah knows best.

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General Dought & clear, - * Saying 'Bismillah' when a child starts eating

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* Saying 'Bismillah' when a child starts eating
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What is the ruling on saying 'Bismillah' each time that a child who does not speak yet starts eating, that is, saying 'Bismillah' on his behalf?
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Praise be to Allah
We put this question to our Shaykh, ‘Abd ar-Rahmaan al-Barraak (may Allah preserve him) and he replied:
Say Bismillah for your action, not on behalf of the child. In other words, you say Bismillah for feeding him, not on his behalf. This should be done when beginning the action, and not with every morsel you feed him. End quote.
And Allah knows best.

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Published by,
NAJIMUDEEN M - INDIA,
On behalf of " ISLAMIC RESEARCH INSTITUTIONS "
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