General Dought & clear, - * He said to his wife: If you do not do such and such, then you can go, or I don’t need you

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If a man tell to his wife , that you should always listen to me and liv with me on the way i want, and if you do,nt do it or if you are not happy to live with me, then you can go. and I don,t need you.
So my question is... ( Is this talaq?) and if it is, then what should the man do?
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Praise be to Allah
If a man says to his wife: If you do not do that, or if you’re not happy to live with me, then you can go, and I don’t need you, this is not an explicit divorce (talaaq); rather it comes under the heading of metaphors for divorce, and metaphors for divorce do not count as such unless they are accompanied by the intention of divorce.
Please see:al-‘Inaayah Sharh al-Hidaayah(4/64);at-Taaj wa’l-Ikleel(5/329); Asna al-Mataalib (3/271);al-Furoo‘(5/387);al-Insaaf(8/476).
The view of the Hanafis and Hanbalis is that a metaphor for divorce counts as a divorce if there is circumstantial evidence to support that, such as if he said that in anger, or she asked him for a divorce and he said to her, for example, Go and join your family, or I don’t need you.
See:al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah(29/27).
It says inZaad al-Mustaqni‘: Words that may be understood as a metaphor for divorce do not count as a divorce unless the intention accompanies the words, except in the case of a dispute or anger, or answering her request. End quote.
The more correct view is that a metaphor does not count as a divorce unless it is accompanied by the intention;, dispute or anger alone is not sufficient.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said in his commentaryash-Sharh al-Mumti‘,:
These are three situations in which a metaphor for divorce counts as such without the intention. Dispute means a dispute with his wife, whereupon he says: Go to your family. In this case it counts as a divorce even if he did not intend it as such, because we have circumstantial evidence to indicate that what he intended was to divorce her.
In the event of anger, even if there is no dispute, such as if he tells her to do something and she does not do it, so he gets angry and says: Go to your family. This counts as a divorce even if he did not intend it as such.
Answering her request means that she said: Divorce me, and he said: Go to your family. This counts as a divorce.
But the correct view is that a metaphor does not count as a divorce unless it is accompanied by the intention, even in these situations, because a person may say in anger Get out and the like, without having the intention of divorce at all.
End quote fromash-Sharh al-Mumti‘(13/75).
So if the husband did not intend to issue a divorce thereby, then it does not count as such, if the wife did not do what he wanted her to do. If he did intend to issue a divorce thereby, then it counts as a divorce if the wife went against what he wanted when he said that.
If he does not know what his intention was, or he forgot what it was, then it does not count as a divorce, because the basic principle is that the marriage remains valid.
And Allah knows best.

*AS'SALAMU ALAIKUM (WR, WB)*
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Monday - jan- - 2 - 2017
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Rabiul Ahir - - 3- -1438
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PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI

General Dought & clear, - * Ruling on doing Kegel exercises and inserting something into the vagina during those exercises

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My Question is about Kegel exercises that are done to strengthen pelvic muscle and have many health benefits such as improving urine inconsistency, even reverses many other bladder and vaginal related issues for females. Please note that there are different ways of practising this technique, one of which requires the female to insert a small weighted silicone rubber in her vagina and contract there to strengthen the muscles and make them more active. It's really beneficial as after multiple pregnancies a woman's private part gets different types of issues such as not being tight enough due to which the urine leaks out, no pleasure for wife and husband due to the private part becoming loose over the years, also prevents Vaginal and Rectal Prolapse etc
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Praise be to Allah
Kegel exercises are used for the purposes that you mention, according to what is said and published on several websites.
We did not have the opportunity to verify whether there are any benefits as mentioned, or any others, from any trustworthy sources in the field of natural or sports medicine.
You should ask trustworthy specialists about the benefits of these exercises, and what has been proven from studies on the topic. If there is certainty about these exercises being beneficial, then there is nothing wrong with doing them, subject to two conditions:
Firstly, it should not be for the purpose of sexual pleasure or enjoyment from pressure or inserting something into the vagina, because this comes under the heading of masturbation which is haraam, regardless of whether one reaches orgasm or not. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts)
Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, for then, they are free from blame”
[al-Mu’minoon 23:5, 6].
It says inal-Mubdi‘(3/22): If a person masturbates but does not ejaculate, then he has committed a haraam act, but it does not invalidate the fast. End quote.
For more information, please see:Haashiyat al-‘Ibaadi ‘ala al-Gharar al-Bahiyyah(2/3458)
InFaatawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah li’l-Iftaa’(22/60) it says: I would like to know the Islamic view on deliberately emitting semen by applying pressure on the prostate (in the pubic region). This is what I do all the time. Does this come under the heading of masturbation? Please note that I cannot get married because of my financial circumstances first of all, and secondly because of my health.
Answer: Masturbation is haraam no matter what form it takes, because it is enjoying something other than what Allah has permitted of marital relations. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts)
Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, for then, they are free from blame.
But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors”
[al-Mu’minoon 23:5, 6].
And the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one’s chastity. And whoever cannot afford it should fast, for it will be a shield for him.” So he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) advised one of two ways, either marriage or fasting, for the one who is not able to get married, and he did not mention any way other than these two, which indicates that masturbation is haraam. End quote.
Standing Committee for Academic Research and Issuing Fatwas
Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd, Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez Aal ash-Shaykh, Shaylh Saalih al-Fazaan, Shaykh ‘Abdullah ibn Ghadyaan, Shaykh ‘Abd ar-Razzaaq ‘Afeefi, Shaykh ‘Abd al-“Azeez ibn ‘Abdullah ibn Baaz
Secondly, these exercises should not be used if they involve inserting anything into the vagina, because this action is haraam and that there is no need for it, and there is the fear that it may lead to that which is mentioned above as being prohibited, namely masturbation or haraam pleasure.
And Allah knows best.

*AS'SALAMU ALAIKUM (WR, WB)*
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Monday - jan- - 2 - 2017
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Rabiul Ahir - - 3- -1438
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PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI

Engagment, Dought & clear, - * Proposal procedure according to sharee’ah

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What is the Sunnah with regard to proposing marriage? i.e., if a young man wants to get married, should he send someone to the woman’s family to ask for her hand in marriage from her family? If his proposal is accepted and the woman and her family agree, what is the next step before the khutbah, such as the mahr (dowry) and other things that are required of the man? Is it Sunnah to recite al-Faatihah when the dowry is stipulated? Is it Sunnah to give the woman a ring on the day of the engagement and on the day of the wedding or is there any special kind of clothing?.
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Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
If a man wants to get married, and he has decided to propose to a particular woman, then he may go to her guardian on his own, or with one of his relatives such as his father or brother, or he may delegate someone else to propose marriage on his behalf. The matter is broad in scope, and prevalent customs should be followed. In some countries it is regarded as improper for the suitor to go on his own, so attention should be paid to that.
What is prescribed in sharee’ah is for the suitor to see the woman to whom he wants to propose marriage, because of the report narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1087), al-Nasaa’i (3235) and Ibn Maajah (1865) from al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah (may Allaah be pleased with him), who proposed to a woman and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Go and look at her, for that is more likely to create love between you,” i.e., ,ore likely to establish lasting love between you. This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Tirmidhi.
Secondly:
If the girl and her family agree, then a mahr has to be agreed upon, and the wedding expenses and the wedding date, and so on. This also varies according to local customs, and what the man can afford and what preparations he has made for getting married. Some people do the proposal and the marriage contract in one sitting, and some delay the marriage contract after the engagement, and some they delay the consummation after the marriage contract. All of that is permissible. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did the marriage contract with ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) when she was six years old then he consummated the marriage with her when she was nine. Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5158).
Thirdly:
It is not sunnah to recite al-Faatihah at the time of engagement or at the time of the marriage contract. Rather the Sunnah is to recite Khutbat al-Haajah. It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) taught us Khutbat al-Haajah, (to be said) at weddings and on other occasions: “Inna al-hamda Lillaahi nasta’eenahu wa nastaghfiruhu, wa na’oodhu bihi min shuroori anfusinaa wa sayi’aati a’maalinaa. Man yahdih Illaahu falaa mudilla lahu wa man yudlil falaa haadiya lahu. Wa ashhadu an laa ilaaha ill-Allaah wa ashhadu anna Muhammadan ‘abduhu wa rasooluhu(Verily, all praise is to Allaah, we seek His help and His forgiveness. We seek refuge with Him from the evil of our own souls and from our bad deeds. Whomsoever Allaah guides will never be led astray, and whomsoever Allaah leaves astray, no one can guide. I bear witness that there is no god but Allaah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger).
‘ Yaa ayyuha’n-naas uttaqu rabbakum alladhi khalaqakum min nafsin waahidatin wa khalaqa minhaa zawjahaa wa baththa minhumaa rijaalan katheeran wa nisaa’an wa’ttaqu-Llaah alladhi tasaa’aloona bihi wa’l-arhaama inna Allaaha kaana ‘alaykum raqeeban(O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person, and from him He created his wife, and from them both He created many men and women, and fear Allaah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship) Surely, Allaah is Ever an All-Watcher over you).’ [al-Nisaa’ 4:1]
‘Yaa ayyuha’lladheena aamanu-ttaqu’Llaaha haqqa tuqaatihi wa laa tamootunna illaa wa antum muslimoon(O you who believe! Fear Allaah as He should be feared, and die not except in a state of Islam (as Muslims) with complete submission to Allaah.)’ [Aal ‘Imraan 3:102]
‘Yaa ayyahu’lladheena aamanu-ttaqu’Llaaha wa qooloo qawlan sadeedan yuslih lakum a’maalakum wa yaghfir lakum dhunoobakum wa man yuti’ Allaaha wa rasoolahu fa qad faaza fawzan ‘azeeman(O you who believe! Keep your duty to Allaah and fear Him, and speak (always) the truth). He will direct you to do righteous good deeds and will forgive you your sins. And whosoever obeys Allaah and His Messenger, he has indeed achieved a great achievement (i.e. he will be saved from the Hell‑fire and will be admitted to Paradise)’ [al-Ahzaab 33:70, 71].”
Narrated by Abu Dawood (2118) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh Abi Dawood.
The Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas was asked (19/146): Is reciting al-Faatihah when a man gets engaged to a woman an innovation (bid’ah)?
They replied: Reciting al-Faatihah when a man gets engaged to a woman or when the marriage contract is done is an innovation (bid’ah). End quote.
Fourthly:
There is no special clothing to be worn for the engagement, wedding or consummation, for either the man or the woman. Attention should be paid to what the people are accustomed to with regard to that, so long as it is not contrary to sharee’ah. Based on that, there is nothing wrong with the man wearing a suit and so on.
But if the woman is in a place where men can see her, she should wear concealing clothes, just as she should before and after the wedding. But if she is among women, she can adorn herself and wear whatever kind of clothes she wants, but she should avoid extravagance and waste and that which calls to fitnah.
As for wearing a ring, it is not prescribed for men or for women, because that involves imitating the kuffaar.
May Allaah help us and you to do that which He loves and which pleases Him.
And Allaah knows best.

*AS'SALAMU ALAIKUM (WR, WB)*
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Saturday - Dec- - 31 - 2016
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Rabiul Ahir - - 1- -1438
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PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI