'' Our Lord ! grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter and save us from the torment of the Fire '' [Ameen]
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{in Arab} :->
Rabbanaa aatinaa fid-dunyaa hasanatan wafil aakhirati hasanatan waqinaa 'athaaban-naar/-
(Surah Al-Baqarah ,verse 201)
Assalam Aleikkum,
I apologize in advance for the length of this question, and thank you for reading it through. Advice is sought because those who seek advice among believers will be confident (paraphrasing).
I am 24 years old and just about to graduate. And I would like to get married soon after because it is Sunnah to get married young and it completes half your Deen. However, what’s missing from this equation is the right candidate. There have been a few guys who have wanted to go out with me and I even tried it once, but it ended fast because it didn’t feel right. I was guilty the whole time and felt that it was just doomed because it was a Haram relationship.
Last year, at school, I met a decent, pious Muslim brother who turned out to be my cousin. He is very smart, kind, generous and humble. I got to know him passively because he used to visit my parents and talk to them. Then he graduated and moved away so he no longer comes to visit, and I find myself missing him (Is that wrong?) and wishing that he would come sometimes.
Lately, I have been considering telling my mother about this because I think he would make a good husband. But I am afraid. This is because of a number of reasons:
1) There is a family rumor that he may like another of our cousins and wants to marry her when she graduates. This is what the girl says (we are kind of close) and she is generally a truthful person, but he has given no indication other than the usual kind concern for everyone. And she doesn’t really like him, it’s more of her mother- her mother even refused a marriage proposal from someone the girl wanted because of this nice guy.
2) That he may refuse and it will be very embarrassing for me. This is because I don’t think he noticed me in that way or maybe he does not think I am right for him.
3) That my mother will think it’s not a good idea and that will embarrass me, too.
Hence, I have no idea what to do. On one hand, I feel as though I should just leave it alone because what is written for you will never miss you. On the other hand, I feel like if I don’t do something, I will not get what I want because one has to pray as well as act.
What should I do?
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