It is haraam for a man toshake hands with a non-mahram woman in the Maaliki madhhab

I want to know in what reference it says that Imam Maalik forbade a
man to shake hands with a non-mahram woman.
There is an opinion which says that there are four possible scenarios,
and in only one is it regarded as haraam for a man to shake hands with
a non-mahram woman. These four scenarios are: when the one who is
shaking hands does it for the sake of pleasure and finds pleasure in
it; when he does it for the sake of pleasure but does not find
pleasure in it; when he does not do it for the sake of pleasure but
finds pleasure in it; and when he does not do it for the sake of
pleasure and does not find pleasure in it.
Who is the author of this opinion? Does he belong to the Maaliki madhhab?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
In Mukhtasar al-Akhdari and other Maaliki books there is an indication
that it is haraam to shake hands with a non-mahramwoman according to
the madhhab of Maalik (may Allah have mercy on him).
'Aleesh said in Minah al-Jaleel Sharh Mukhtasar Khaleel (1/22): It is
not permissible for a man to touch the face or hand of anon-mahram
woman, and it is not permissible for them to put their hands together
without a barrier.'Aa'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said:
TheProphet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) never accepted
the oath of allegiance (bay'ah)of a woman by holding her hand; he
would acceptwomen's oath of allegiance verbally. According to another
report: His hand never touched the hand of a woman; rather he would
accept their oath of allegiance verbally. End quote.
Secondly:
The details that you mentioned have to do with losing wudoo' by
touching; wudoo' is broken in the event of seeking pleasure, or
finding pleasure (even if he was not seeking it), or seeking it and
finding it. Wudoo' is not broken when one does not seek pleasure or
find it.
The prohibition is connected to doing it deliberately, whether there
is pleasure or not.
For more information please see the answer to question no. 21183 and 2459
And Allah knows best.

--
- - - - - - -

Child marriage in Islam is subject to the condition that it serve a clear and real interest

From my understanding, Islamic Law states that if agirl passes
puberty, she is allowed to be married - regardless of whether she is
9, 11, 15 etc Does the law take into consideration her emotional and
mental readiness to be married, despite the physical abilityto be able
to bear children? It disturbs me that young girls who pass puberty are
automatically believed to be whole-heartedly ready for marriage and
motherhoodJUST because she is physically able to do so. Isnt it
equally important that she is emotionally and mentality ready for this
role?
Also - does Islamic Law also state that if a boy passes puberty
(regardlessof his age), he is ALSO allowed to be married?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
It is permissible for a man to arrange a marriage for his young son
even if he has not reached puberty; it is also permissible for him to
arrange a marriagefor his young daughter even if she had not reached
the age of puberty. It was narrated that there was consensus on this
point, but that is provided that compatibility is taken into account
and that a clear and real interest is served by this marriage.
Ibn 'Abd al-Barr (may Allahhave mercy on him) said:
The scholars are unanimously agreed that the father may arrange a
marriage for his young daughter without consulting her. The Messenger
of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) married 'Aa'ishah
when she was six years old.
End quote from at-Tamheed, 19/98
Ismaa'eel ibn Ishaaq (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The father may arrange a marriage for a young (daughter) according to
the consensus of the Muslims, and that is binding on her.
End quote from at-Tamheed, 19/84
Ibn Shubrumah disagreed with that, as we shall see below.
Secondly:
It is not prescribed to arrange a marriage for a young girl unless
there is aclear and real interest to be served by doing so. Thesame
applies to young boys, but the ruling is emphasized more with regard
to girls because a boy has the power of divorce (talaaq).
An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
It should be noted that ash-Shaafa'i and his companions said: It is
recommended for the father or grandfather not to arrange a marriage
for a virgin until she reaches the age of puberty and he seeks her
consent, lest she find herself trapped in a marriage that she resents.
What they said is not contrary to the hadeeth of'Aa'ishah, because
what they meant is that he should not give her in marriage before
puberty ifthere is no clear and real interest to be served by that for
which there is the fear that it will be missed by delaying marriage,
suchas the story of 'Aa'ishah. Inthat case (i.e., if there is a clear
and real interest to be served) it is recommended not to miss the
opportunity to marry that husband, because the father is enjoined to
take care of his children's interests, not to neglect them.
End quote from Sharh Muslim, 9/206
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) was of the view
that in the case of a girl who has reached the age of nine years it is
stipulated that she give consent and he said: This is the view
favoured by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, and this is the correct
view.
With regard to the girl who is younger than the age of nine years, he
favoured the view that thefather does not have the right to arrange a
marriage. He narrated from Ibn Shubrumah (mayAllah have mercy on him)
that he said: It is not permissible to arrange a marriage for a young
girl who has not reached the age of puberty, because if we say that
that is subject to her consent, her consent does not count (because
she is too young to make such decisions), and when she does reach the
age of puberty we believe that she should not be forced into a
marriage. The Shaykh said:This view is the correct one, that the
father shouldnot arrange a marriage forhis daughter until she reaches
the age of puberty, and when she reaches the age of pubertyhe should
not arrange a marriage unless she gives her consent.
But if we assume that a man regards this suitor as compatible and he
is old, and there is the fear that ifhe passes away and guardianship
of the girl passes to her brothers, they may not take the matter of
her marriage seriously and they may arrange her marriage according to
their whims and desires, not according to what is in her best
interests, and he thinks that it is in her best interests to arrange
her marriage to someone whois compatible, there is nothing wrong with
that, but she will have the choice when she grows up; if she wishes
she may say: I do not agree to this and I do not want it.
If the matter is like this, then the safest option is not to arrange
her marriage and to entrust her to Allah, may He be glorified and
exalted.

--
- - - - - - -

I have cheated on my boyfriend, how can I get him back?

Assalaamu alaikum brother/sister,
I'm an international student in a university, I was in a relationship
with a guy for seven years when I was living back home; by that time
we also committed zina. We decided we would come abroad for higher
studies and live together here. Butsomehow he didn't get hisvisa but I
did and I came here because my parents put in too much money for this.
After I came here things started to get bad, he got into a depression
state and was jealous of me coming abroad, he used toconstantly hurt
me and berude and it eventually made me fed up of him and we had a
fight and didn't talk for 20 days.
By that time I met this new guy who was a very good person, always
prayed Salaah and motivated me to do so. Hegave me idea of hijaab and
I started wearing it. He basically introduced meto Allah's mercy a lot
morethan I knew previously. I fell in love with him and we kissed
which was only a spur of the moment. I wanted a person like him to be
my husband who will guide me through Allah's path and I will do the
same for him.
I was afraid to tell him that I committed zina withmy previous bf but
I told him I was in an abusive relationship (which was true). Somehow
my ex knew about this and he contacted my new bf and he told
everything about us.
However, I tried to manage things and we were in a good place with our
relationship and even decided to get married as Ihave also committed
zina with him. But I got dragged again with my previous bf and cheated
on my new bf a number oftimes. I went back home last year and I met my
ex, which my new bf got to know about. So now he hates me too much but
I fell in love with him. I'm trying to repent to Allah but whenever I
ask myselfwhy did I cheat? I get no answer from my heart.
I feel very guilty for mynew bf because he always supported no matter
how much it hurts him. I still want to get married to him but he hates
me too much as well as his family (who knew of my wrongdoings too). I
also feel ashamed to post this here, but I have no other option to
seek advice fromsomeone in an Islamic perspective. Can you please
advise me on what to do?
Thank you,
- Nafisa

--
- - - - - - -

Greating Tips

Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying N the other
ensuresyou continue to do so for the rest of your life!
=
If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
=
Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.
=
There`s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
electronicbanking. It`s called marriage
=
Man: Is there any way for long life? Doctor: Get married. Man: Will it
help? Doctor: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
=
Your wedding day is just the start Of a lifetime full of love N fun.
It just beginsas u take ur vows, When the 2 of u r joined as one
=
Hoping that the love u shared years ago Is still as strong today as it
was then Bringing u much joy ,love N happiness 2 celebrate again.
=
Q: During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom made to sit on the
horse? A: He is given his last chance to run away!
=
Marriage is that relation between man and womenin which the
Independence is Equal, theDependence mutual and the Obligation
Reciprocal

--
- - - - - - -

Tall Grass

I could listen all day
to the eucalyptus leaves
rustling in the wind, passing it on.
You said once
that the world was stale and worn,
like a room where everything's been used.
Sometimes I wonder
if you were speaking of yourself.
I don't see the world that way,
or you either. At this moment
the clouds in the Eastern sky
are limned with red light
like the edge of a forest fire.
The cows across the road are grazing
in the acres that burned last year.
Now tall green grass growsthere.
I know they are slow beasts, barely aware,
but they love their calves,
and they worship in their way.
They are beautiful in their striped coats.
All is beautiful, especially you.
If your world is a stale room
then let me break the door
and carry you into the Junesunshine.
Maybe you're right that everything's been touched,
but the world renews itself.
The rains wash to the sea,
and all is clean. I know that-
like the acres where the cows graze -
you've been burned.
You said you have ten thousand questions
and nowhere to turn. You said
you are a painful mystery to yourself.
That's okay. None of us have answers,
none of us know our own depths
any more than we know the stars..
You are innocent as a child to me.
You are new, never stained,
the tall grass growing green
on the acres of your soul.

--
- - - - - - -

Resilience is Contagious

"Resilience is contagious." –Amy Estrada. Sure, life comes along now
and thenand blows you off your feet. That's alright. What matters is
that you get back up.
You don't have to have theanswers. You don't have tobe superman or
superwoman. When the thundercloud opens up, who among us can stop the
rain? When the hurricane blows, who can stay on his feet? No one.
When the storm passes, stand up. Dust yourself off, take stock, and
move forward in the name of Allah. If the storm has disoriented you
and you don't see the way forward, look to the Quran. "And if there
should come to youguidance from Me – then whoever follows My guidance
will neither go astray [in the world] nor suffer [in the Hereafter]."
(Quran, Surat TaHa, 20:123). The Quran is a mighty book. Never
underestimate it. If you cannot speak Arabic and find the English
translations unwieldy, get one of the modern translations that are
easier to read, like those by Umm Muhammad, or Thomas Cleary.
When you get knocked down and then stand up tall, with strength,
others see it, and it rallies them. Your spouse sees it, your children
see it, your friends see it, and of course Allah sees it. Don't think
of it as showing off. Not at all. Think of it as brotherhood and
sisterhood, all of us helping each other, giving each other strength,
being good shepherds to our flocks.
Superman is no hero, he's impervious to bullets! Real heroes get hurt,
they get down on themselves sometimes, they're imperfect, they
struggle to pay the bills and raise theirchildren, they struggle to be
become stronger in their faith, but they struggle! They don't give up.
That's inspiring, and it's contagious, and maybe sometimes it will be
someone else inspiring you, and maybe sometimesit will be you, getting
up after the hurricane, showing us all how it's done.

--
- - - - - - -

Hadees

The Mother of the Believers, Juwairiyah bint Al-Harith reported that
the Prophet (sallAllahu 'alyhi wasallam) came out from my apartment in
the morning as I was busy in performing Dhikr after Fajr (the dawn
prayer). He cameback in the forenoon and found me sitting there.
TheProphet (sallAllahu 'alyhi wasallam) said," Are you still in the
same position asI left you?" I replied in the affirmative. Thereupon
the Prophet (sallAllahu 'alyhi wasallam) said,
•►"I recited four phrases three times after I had left you. If these
are to be weighed against all you have recited since morning,these
will be heavier. Theseare:
Subhan-Allah Wa bihamdihi, 'adada khalqihi, wa rida-a nafsihi, wa
zinatah 'arshihi, wa midadakalimatihi
(Allah is free from imperfection and I begin with His praise, as many
times as the number of His creatures, in accordance with His Good
Pleasure, equal to the ink that may be used in recording the words
(for His Praise)."
(Muslim 4/2090) —

--
- - - - - - -