Diligence is the Mother ofGood Luck

"Diligence is the mother of good luck." – Arabic proverb
If you want something, work for it and do not stop. That's how you
create your own luck. Whether you were born into a rich family or a
poor one, whether you are innately talented or not, whether you have
charisma and charm or you are a tongue-tied nerd, it doesn't matter.
I'm not saying it wouldn't be nice to be rich, talented, and
charismatic, but you can succeed without them, and you'll appreciate
it all the more. All you have to do is hang on even after others have
let go.
Don't bemoan your fate. No one is born into a perfect family. Don't
complain about lack of resources. Allah created this world and
everything in it, and laid it at your feet. If you're facing the right
direction, you can reach anywhere in the world if you keep on walking.
Find a Way
In 1997 I started a small web development consulting service. I really
wanted to work with Muslims and help to create Islamic websites. As a
small adjunct to my service, I started a Muslim matrimonialservice. I
thought of it as a hobby. That was the first incarnation of Zawaj.com
Muslim Matrimonials . It was one of the first three such services on
the internet. The problem was that I was not really a programmer (I
was more of a graphic designer), and in the beginning I was
hand-creating every page for every ad. The traffic climbed, until I
was getting many new ads every day. It quickly became impossible.
I contacted some large web development firms to get a price quote for
building a proper, automated matchmaking service. Their quotes were
too high for me. I contacted some firms in India, and found one that
would build the website first, and let me pay in monthly installments
of $500. The bill was many thousands of dollars, and that was at a
timewhen I could barely pay the bills. I agreed to the deal, not
knowing where the money would come from. Every month I had to come up
with$500 somehow. I eliminated all unnecessary expenses, I borrowed
from my parents and my wife, and somehow I made it, and paid it all
off.
More than ten years later, Zawaj.comis still my bread and butter. I
don't know whatI would have done without it. I feel that Allah guided
me to make that choice, and I was smart enough and determined enough
to seize the opportunity. For once in my life, ha ha!
Make your own luck. Make something happen. Find a way.
Diligence, diligence. Focus on your goal, work hard, don't give up… be
as persistent as the sun. Sometimes the sun is hidden behind clouds,
but it's there every day. It's okay to have days when you're tired,
when it seems hopeless, when you wish life would give you a break, but
just keep showing up every day and doing the work, and your break will
come.
Whoever said that opportunity knocks once mustnot have been paying
attention, because opportunities come along all the time. It's just
that you have to listen for them, and you must lay the groundwork so
that you are ready when the knock comes.
Faith and Diligence
I'll finish with a story from thelife of the Prophet Muhammad (sws):
Narrated Khabbab bin Al-Arat:
We complained to Allah's Apostle (of the persecution inflicted on us
by the disbelievers) while he was sitting in the shade of the Ka'ba,
leaning over his Burd (i.e. covering sheet). We said to him, "Would
you seek help for us? Would you pray to Allah for us?" He said, "Among
the nations before you a (believing) man would be put in a ditch that
was dug for him, and a saw would be put over his head and he would be
cut into two pieces;yet that (torture) would not make him give up his
religion.His body would be combed with iron combs that would remove
his flesh from the bones and nerves, yet that would not make him
abandonhis religion. By Allah, this religion (i.e. Islam) will prevail
till a traveler from Sana (in Yemen) to Hadrarmaut will fear none
butAllah, or a wolf as regards his sheep, but you (people) are hasty."
What type of persecution wasKhabbab referring to? Was it simple name
calling, or Muslim businesses being boycotted? No, it was torture and
murder. Bilal was laid in the desert with a huge stone on his chest.
Others were place in chains, burned, stabbed by spears… all because
they had adopted the religion of Allah. So it wasno small thing they
were complaining of. And yet all the Prophet had to say to them was
that they were hasty, and that a time would come when all of Arabia
would be united and safe. Someone standing beside himat the moment,
looking around at the weak circumstances in which the Muslims found
themselves, might have found such a statement hard to believe. But the
Messenger of Allah (sws) had faith, and he had diligence, and those
together can achieve anything.--
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Bring it In

Let's bring it together.
Everything moves in circles,
everything whirls, but sometimes
you cut across the tide
and find yourself in the light
of a strange sun. Bring it in.
Smaller circles, far from thedin
of the city, we meet:
your breath and mine,
warm and sweet,
tighter, closer, moving in time
to the galaxy, earth, air,
until we are the center, paired,
and all turns in harmony.
Let's bring it in, become
lion and lioness, oak and stone,
shelter and home.
Mother and father,
husband and wife,
lover and loved,
passion and fire,
dunya and deen ,
family, hearth, laughter
and one true dream.

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Your Life

When seeking a marriage partner, remember, a husband or wife is not
just some pretty face that you get to admire or possess, or show off
to your friends.This person is not a checkbook, a status symbol, a
servant, or a household maid. This is notsomeone that you'll see fora
few minutes each day after work, and take to dinner parties.
You could marry someone only for looks or status then find yourself
miserable, harped on, arguing every day, lonely within your marriage,
or abused. All you rich and attractive people don't take offense – you
might be perfectly lovely and sweet – I'm just saying thatappearance,
wealth and lineage are no guarantee of happiness, and if you focus on
those factors to the exclusion of the soul, then you will likely find
yourself mismatched, brokenhearted and forlorn.
A spouse is someone you abide with for the rest of your life, even
when you are wrinkled and bent. Someone to hold you when you're sad,
to support you when you're tired, to cool your foreheadwhen you're
sick, to share in your joys, tell jokes and play frisbee with;
someoneto pray with in the still morning hours, and struggle with to
achieve Paradise.
This is someone to be a witness to your life, to know you intimately
and recognize your worth as a human being (not that we need someone
else to affirm our value – but it's always nice to be recognized and
seen). Someone to love you unceasingly, like a great river, even when
you disagree. Someone to see your faults, and keep on loving you.
Make sure your priorities are in order. Look past the surface. Connect
with the person's soul. Find someone who will make you smile, and with
whom you will be happy to share this strange journey we calllife.

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Should the wife obey the husband if the husband is extreme irrligious?

The wife could play an integral role in reforming her husband. If the
husband has the bad habitsas stated in the email and if the wife
honestly feels that if she refuses his sexual needs, that will
pressurise him into mending his ways and reforming, then she may do
so.
However, she should be careful that this approach should not cause her
husband to deteriorate further. The wife should also advise and get
others to advise him. Allah states,?? and continue offering advise for
offering advice isbeneficial to the believers.?
and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

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Believe in Allah, Because He Believes inYou

I believe in Allah because He believes in me… and He believes in you
too. Believein His plan for you, have faith in Him, trust His guidance
to you, because He has faith in you, and trusts you.
Some people might challenge this assertion that Allah believes in us
and trusts us. To me, that's surprising. Allah created nothing in
vain. Everything He does has a purpose. His creation of humanity was
done with intent.
Why were we created? Many Muslims will automatically respond, "To
worship Allah." That's true, but why does Allah want to be worshiped?
Furthermore, why did He create everything else – the stars, planets,
forests, seas, mountains, animals?…
Without presuming to know Allah's intentions, and returning to the
realm of the human for a moment, I will make a simple observation. As
a writer, one of the reasons I write is because the act of putting my
thoughts and feelings on paper satisfies something deep within me.I've
been writing creativelysince I was a child, and to me it's not a hobby
but a calling. I'm a writer, therefore I write; and I am a writer
because I write.
The same is true for a painter or any other artist. I imagine if you
asked a painter why he paints, you might get many different answers:
*. "It makes me happy"
*. "It's my passion."
*. "To express my ideas."
*. "To make money."
*. "I don't know, I just do."
The bottom line is that it's the painter's nature to paint; it's her
calling, her function. She is a painter, therefore she paints; or
shepaints, therefore she is a painter. Same difference.
Allah is Al-Khaaliq, The Creator. That is one of His names, one of His
attributes. He expresses this attribute by creating. You are a part of
that expression, and so am I. So is a blue whale, Mount Kilimanjaro,
the Grand Canyon, a dolphin, a mouseand an amoebum. Everything that
Allah created is amazing in its function and awesomely complex in its
design. Everything that He created is beautiful and
purposeful.Including you and me.
To create is an act of love. It is an act of faith. The Creator loves
you and believes in you. Believe in Him, believe in yourself, believe
in humanity, and believe in the unique path that Allah has chosen for
you.

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"HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY"

Frenship is never an accident... its somthng 1 has 2 nurture over da
yrs.I hope evry yr our frenship bcoms stronger
=
Friendship is a place where dreams are nurtured, shared, celebrated, a
place where happiness begins
=
There are no strings attached to a friendship, no bonds to hold or
ties tobind. Friendship stand on its own
=
With u bside my fren I havcn my world becoming a beautiful place....My
dreams turning into reality
=
God gvs us 2 Gifts... 1 is chance n other is choice, Chance 2 hav
frens n choice 2 select best 1s like U. "HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY"

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The Heart of the Matter

Sometimes we have a problem with a Muslim or Muslims, and we get
frustrated and we think, "I don't want to be around those people
anymore." Or something happens at the Masjid (the mosque) that we
don't like, maybe the Imam says something we don't agree with, or we
don't like the Masjid policies, and we feel offended and we stop
going. Maybe we pray at home, and stop associatingwith Muslims, then
maybe over time we become slackin our prayers, but we tell ourselves
it's okay because we're still Muslim "in our hearts".
That's one kind of trap.
On top of that it's hard to represent this deen among non-Muslims.
It's hard to carry yourself as a Muslim at work when you're the only
one there and you're aware that some of your co-workers are bigots or
are operating on negative stereotypes. It's hard to wear the hijab
when some people look at you as if you're a terrorist.
So maybe we give up the outer trappings of Islam, telling ourselves
that we have to survive in this society.
That's another trap.
And if you're a convert and your family is opposed to your conversion
to Islam, that's another weight to carry. If they are openly hostile,
and if you still live with them as they mock your deen (maybe in front
of your children) and try to undercut your childrens' practice of
Islam by feedingthem pork or letting them have "a little taste" of
wine… or something comeson the news about a conflict in the Muslim
world and your family says,"Look, those Muslims are atit again…" And
you don't know how to respond, or you don't want to start another
fight so you keep your mouth shut, but inside you feel humiliated and
confused…
And if you are isolated from the Muslim community for racial reasons
(this is not supposed to happen but it does) or for simple cultural
reasons, because you can't speak Arabic or Urdu and you don't fit in,
and you haven't been able to make any Muslim friends, or you feel that
the Masjid crowd don't regard you in the same way as so-called "born
Muslims"… instead they look at you as an oddity, or a child, or a
trophy of some kind, as if your conversion somehow validates their
faith…
Well, then, you might start to say to yourself, "What's the point? Is
it really worthit? Is it even really true?"
That's obviously a huge, deadly trap.
Okay, if you're a "born Muslim" you might not reach the point of that
last statement ("Is it even true?") because for most ofus who were
raised Muslim, Islam is bred into us from childhood, and it's a part
of us even when we don't understand it or appreciate it. But you still
might feel that identifying as a Muslim is too much trouble… it's
easier to associate with non-Muslims, abandon your prayers, drink wine
at the company dinner, have relationships with non-Muslims, and not
have to battle against society every day, not to mention battling
against your own nafs (desires). This is an easy trap to fall into if
you are a professional living alone.
We fall into these traps because we forget what this deen is. Shaytan
(Satan) isolates us just as a wolf isolates a sheep, driving it away
from the herd; then he plays games with our minds so that we become
reactive, responding emotionally to circumstances in our environments.
("That Muslim cheated me, so I don't trust Muslims anymore.") Shaytan
gives us pathetic rationalizationsthat we latch onto as if they really
mean something.

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“I Know Who I Am”

It can be very hard to resistthe negative labels that parents put on
us. Their words have a way of worming into our brains even when we
know better. We must be patient with them and love them, without
buying into their negativity.
Write some positive affirmations about yourself. Affirmations are true
statements that express your best qualities,and also express what
kindof person you strive to be. They represent the ideal you.
I personally have a list of 29 affirmations, and here's number 12 on my list:
"12. I am a good son to myparents. I am patient and loving with them.
When speaking to them I maintain a positive, independent and calm
spirit, knowing who I am and confident in my choices."
Read your affirmations every day. Even if you don'tquite believe your
own affirmations at times, even if you feel inwardly skeptical, keep
reading them. When you speak to your parents, breathe deeply and
slowly. Don't let anything they say makeyou anxious or excited.
Tellyourself silently, "I know who I am."
Allah loves you and has a plan for you. Believe this and move forward,
and when you have children, shut down the cycle of negativity and do
better than your parents did. It's okay to be better than your
parents. Any good parent wants their childrento surpass them.
Show your own children patience, gentleness and endless love.
May Allah bless you and fill your heart with self-knowledge,
self-dignity, and hope for the future.

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ALLAH bless u

Straight roads never makeGood drivers!
Smooth sea never makes Good sailors!
Clear sky never makes Good pilots!
Problem free life never makes a strong & Good person
Be strong enough to accept the challenges of life
Don't ask Life "Why me?
Instead say "Try me!
Have a WinINg Attitude!
ALLAH bless u n ur family.
Ameen.

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