Islamic Marriage Articles, - Al-Nikah

Mutual Agreement of Bride and Groom
Marriage (nikah) is a solemn and sacred social contract between bride
and groom. This contract is a strong covenant (mithaqun Ghalithun) as
expressed in Quran 4:21). The marriage contract in Islam is not a
sacrament. It is revocable.
Both parties mutually agree and enter into this contract. Both bride
and groom have the liberty to define various terms and conditions of
their liking and make them a part of this contract.
Mahr
The marriage-gift (Mahr) is a divine injunction. The giving of mahr to
the bride by the groom is an essential part of the contract.
'And give the women (on marriage) their mahr as a (nikah) free gift" (Quran 4:4)
Mahr is a token commitment of the husband's responsibility and may be
paid in cash, property or movable objects to the bride herself. The
amount of mahr is not legally specified, however, moderation according
to the existing social norm is recommended. The mahr may be paid
immediately to the bride at the time of marriage, or deferred to a
later date, or a combination of both. The deferred mahr however, falls
due in case of death or divorce.
One matrimonial party expresses 'ijab" willing consent to enter into
marriage and the other party expresses 'qubul" acceptance of the
responsibility in the assembly of marriage ceremony. The contract is
written and signed by the bride and the groom and their two respective
witnesses. This written marriage contract ("Aqd-Nikah) is then
announced publicly.
Sermon
The assembly of nikah is addressed with a marriage sermon
(khutba-tun-nikah) by the Muslim officiating the marriage. In marriage
societies, customarily, a state appointed Muslim judge (Qadi)
officiates the nikah ceremony and keeps the record of the marriage
contract. However any trust worthy practicing Muslim can conduct the
nikah ceremony, as Islam does not advocate priesthood. The documents
of marriage contract/certificate are filed with the mosque (masjid)
and local government for record.
Prophet Muhammad (S) made it his tradition (sunnah) to have marriage
sermon delivered in the assembly to solemnize the marriage. The sermon
invites the bride and the groom, as well as the participating guests
in the assembly to a life of piety, mutual love, kindness, and social
responsibility.
The Khutbah-tun-Nikah begins with the praise of Allah. His help and
guidance is sought. The Muslim confession of faith that 'There is none
worthy of worship except Allah and Muhammad is His servant and
messenger" is declared. The three Quranic verses (Quran 4:1, 3:102,
33:70-71) and one Prophetic saying (hadith) form the main text of the
marriage. This hadith is:
'By Allah! Among all of you I am the most God-fearing, and among you
all, I am the supermost to save myself from the wrath of Allah, yet my
state is that I observe prayer and sleep too. I observe fast and
suspend observing them; I marry woman also. And he who turns away from
my Sunnah has no relation with me". (Bukhari)
The Muslim officiating the marriage ceremony concludes the ceremony
with prayer (Dua) for bride, groom, their respective families, the
local Muslim community, and the Muslim community at large (Ummah)
Marriage (nikah) is considered as an act of worship (ibadah). It is
virtuous to conduct it in a Mosque keeping the ceremony simple. The
marriage ceremony is a social as well as a religious activity. Islam
advocates simplicity in ceremonies and celebrations.
Prophet Muhammad (S) considered simple weddings the best weddings:
'The best wedding is that upon which the least trouble and expense is
bestowed". (Mishkat)
Primary Requirements
1.Mutual agreement (Ijab-O-Qubul) by the bride and the groom
2.Two adult and sane witnesses
3.Mahr (marriage-gift) to be paid by the groom to the bride either
immediately (muajjal) or deferred (muakhkhar), or a combination of
both
Secondary Requirements
1.Legal guardian (wakeel) representing the bride
2.Written marriage contract ("Aqd-Nikah) signed by the bride and the
groom and witnesses by two adult and sane witnesses
3.Qadi (State appointed Muslim judge) or Ma'zoon (a responsible person
officiating the marriage ceremony)
4.Khutba-tun-Nikah to solemnize the marriage
The Marriage Banquet (Walima)
After the consummation of the marriage, the groom holds a banquet
called a walima. The relatives, neighbors, and friends are invited in
order to make them aware of the marriage. Both rich and poor of the
family and community are invited to the marriage feasts.
Prophet Muhammad (S) said:
'The worst of the feasts are those marriage feasts to which the rich
are invited and the poor are left out". (Mishkat)
It is recommended that Muslims attend marriage ceremonies and marriage
feasts upon invitation.
Prophet Muhammad (S) said:
"...and he who refuses to accept an invitation to a marriage feast,
verily disobeys Allah and His Prophet". (Ahmad & Abu Dawood) - - -- -
* visit for more detailed Articles-[a]
http://aydnajimudeen.blogspot.com/[/a] ═ ═ (or) [a]
http://aydnajimudeen.wapka.mobi /[/a] - - - * - Publisher - "
NajimudeeN M-India " - on- Sunday, DEC 8, 2013 - - - -

Islamic Marriage Articles, - Islamic Wedding

Wedding of Fatimah (RadhiAllah Anha)
Fatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) is the youngest daughter of our beloved
Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam). Out of all the children, he was
the most beloved to him. He said,'The Queen of the ladies in Jannat is
Faatimah.' He also said,'Faatimah is part of my body. Whoever grieves
her, grieves me.'
When Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) reached the age of fifteen,
proposals for her marriage began to come from high and responsible
families. But the Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) remained
irresponsive.
Ali (Radhiallaahu Ánhu), who was 21 at the time, says: It occurred to
me that I should go and make a formal proposal, but then I
thought,'How could this be accomplished, for I possess nothing.'At
last, encouraged by the Prophet's kindness, I went to him and
expressed my intention to marry Faatima (Radhiyallaahu Anha). The
Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) was extremely pleased and
asked,'Áli! Do you possess anything to give her in Mahr?'I
replied,'Apart from a horse and an armour I possess nothing.'
The Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) said, 'A soldier must, of
course, have his horse. Go and sell away your armour.'
So, Áli (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) went and sold his armour to Uthmaan
(Radhiallaahu Ánhu) for 480 Dirham and presented it to Rasulullah
(Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam). Bilaal (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) was ordered
by the Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) to bring some perfume and
a few other things and Anas (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) was sent to call Abu
Bakr, Uthmaan, Talhah, Zubayr with some companions from the Ansaar
(Radhiallaahu Ánhum).
When these men arrived and had taken their seats, the Prophet
(Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) recited the Khutbah (sermon) of Nikaah
and gave Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) in marriage to Áli (Radhiallaahu
Ánhu). He announced, 'Bear you all witness that I have given my
daughter Faatimah in marriage to Áli for 400 Mithqaal of silver and
Áli has accepted.' He then raised his head and made Duá saying, 'O
Allah, create love and harmony between these two. Bless them and
bestow upon them good children.' after the Nikaah, dates were
distributed.
When the time came for Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) to go to Áli's
(Radhiallaahu Ánhu) house, she was sent without any clamour, hue and
cry accompanied Umm Ayman (Radhiallaahu Ánhu). After the Éesha Salaat,
the Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) went to their house, took
permission and entered. He asked for a basin of water, put his blessed
hands into it and sprinkled it on both Áli (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) and
Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) and made Duá for them.
The sovereign of both worlds gave his beloved daughter a silver
bracelet, two Yemeni sheets, four mattresses, one blanket, one pillow,
one cup, one hand-grinding mill, one bedstead, a small water skin and
a leather pitcher.
In this simple fashion, the wedding of the daughter of the leader of
the worlds was solemnised. In following this Sunnah method, a wedding
becomes very simple and easy to fulfill.
SOME METHODS DERIVED FROM THE ABOVEMENTIONED MARRIAGE
1.The many customs as regards engagement are contrary to the Sunnah.
In fact, many are against the Shariáh and are regarded sins. A verbal
proposal and answer is sufficient.
2.To unnecessarily delay Nikah of both the boy and the girl after
having reached the age of marriage is incorrect.
3.There is nothing wrong in inviting one's close associates for the
occasion of Nikah. However, no special pains should be taken in
gathering the people from far off places.
4.It is appropriate that the bridegroom be a few years older than the bride.
5.If the father of the girl is an Áalim or pious and capable of
performing Nikah, then he should himself solemnise the marriage.
6.It is better to give the Mahr Faatimi and one should endeavour to do
so. But if one does not have the means then there is nothing wrong in
giving less.
7.It is totally un-Islamic for those, who do not possess the means, to
incur debts in order to have grandiose weddings.
8.It is fallacy to think that one's respect will be lost if one does
not hold an extravagant wedding and invite many people. What is our
respect compared to that of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam)?
9.The present day practice of the intermingling of sexes is an act of
sin and totally against Shariáh.
10.There is nothing such as engagement parties and Medhi parties in Islam.
11.Great care must be taken as regards to Salaat on occasions of
marriage by all - the bride, the bridegroom and all the participants.
12.It is un-Islamic to display the bride on stage.
13.The unnecessary expenses incurred by the bride's family in holding
a feast has no basis in Shariáh.
14.For the engaged couple to meet at a public gathering where the boy
holds the girl's hand and slips a ring on her finger is a violation of
the Qurãnic law of Hijaab.
15.It is un-Islamic for the engaged couple to meet each other and also
go out together.
16.Three things should be borne in mind when giving one's daughter
gifts and presents at the time of Nikah:
· Presents should be given within one's means (it is not permissible
to take loans, on interest for such presents);
· To give necessary items;
· A show should not be made of whatever is given.
17.It is Sunnat for the bridegroom's family to make Walimah.
Note:In Walimah, whatever is easily available should be fed to the
people and care should be taken that the is no extravagance, show and
that no debts are incurred in the process.
18. To delay Nikah after the engagement is un-Islamic.
SOME CUSTOMS
In aping Western methods sheepishly, Muslims have adopted many customs
which are un-Islamic and frowned upon.
Some examples are:
*.Displaying the bride on stage;
*.Inviting guests for the wedding from far off places;
*.Receiving guests in the hall;
*.The bride's people incurring unnecessary expenses by holding a feast
which has no basis in Shariáh. We should remember that Walimah is the
feast arranged by the bridegroom after the marriage is consummated.
*.It is contrary to Sunnah (and the practice of some non-Muslim tribes
in India) to wish, hope for or demand presents and gifts for the
bridegroom, from the bride's people. We should always remember that
our Nabi (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) did not give Áli (Radhiallaahu
Ánhu) anything except Duá.

Islamic Marriage Articles, - Wedding in Islam

Spouses
Allah, most Gracious says about spouses in Quran:
Among His signs is [the fact] that He has created spouses for you
among yourselves so that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and
He has planted love and mercy between you; In that are signs for
people who reflect.
Qur'an [30 : 21]
and says:
... they are a garment for you and you are a garment to them ...
Qur'an [2 : 187]
Consider this in conjunction with the following verse:
... the best garment is the garment of God-consciousness ...
Qur'an [7 : 26]
It requires that a husband and wife should be as garments for each
other. Just as garments are for protection, comfort, show and
concealment for human beings, Allah expects husbands and wives to be
for one another.
And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends of one
another; they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong, and they
establish worship and they pay the poor-due, and they obey Allah and
His messenger; as for those, Allah will have mercy on them; Lo! Allah
is Mighty, Wise. Allah hath promised to believers - men and women -
gardens underwhich rivers flow, to dwell therein, and beautiful
mansions in gardens of everlasting bliss; but the greatest bliss is
the good pleasure of Allah: This is the supreme felicity.
Qur'an [9 : 71 - 72]
Whom to marry
Allah also gives us freedom and urges us to:
...Marry the women of your choice...
Qur'an [4 : 3]
Similarly, for the women:
"A girl came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and informed him that
her father had married her to her cousin against her wishes, whereupon
the Prophet allowed her to exercise her choice. She then said, 'I am
reconciled to what my father did but I wanted to make it known to
women that fathers have no say in this matter'".
[Ibn Majah]
Narrated Abdullah: "We were with the Prophet, peace be upon him, while
we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Apostle, peace be
upon him, said, `O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should
marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty, and
whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his
sexual power.'"
[Bukhari]
Narrated Abu Huraira: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `A woman
is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her
beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman
[otherwise] you will be a loser.'"
[Bukhari]
Mahr
Mahr is the gift that is given by the husband to his wife at wedding.
It can be anything in any amount, as agreed by the bride and
bride-groom. Allah says about Mahr in the Chapter `Woman' in Quran:
And give the women (on marriage) their Mahr as a free gift ...
Qur'an [4 : 4]
But if you had given the latter a cantar (of gold i.e. a great amount)
for dower (Mahr) take not the least bit of it back ...
Qur'an [4 : 20]
Narrated Sahl bin Sa`d: " A woman came to the Prophet,, and presented
herself to him (for marriage). He said, 'I am not in need of women
these days.' Then a man said, 'O Allah's Apostle! Marry her to me."
The Prophet asked him, 'What have you got?' He said, 'I have got
nothing.' The Prophet said, 'Give her something, even an iron ring.'
He said, 'I have got nothing.' The Prophet asked (him), "How much of
the Quran do you know (by heart)?' He said, 'So much and so much.' The
Prophet said, 'I have married her to you for what you know of the
Quran.' '"
[Bukhari]
Sex
Sex is seen as an act of procreation. An eye for the what is about to
come is kept open in this respect as well. The following prayer
reminds us of God, results of our actions, and reminds us of our
commitment to train our offsprings.
Narrated Ibn Abbas: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `If anyone
of you, when having a sexual intercourse with his wife says:
In the name of Allah! O Allah! Protect me from Satan and protect what
you bestow upon us (i.e. an offspring) from Satan.
and if it is destined that they should have a child, then Satan will
never be able to harm him.'"
[Bukhari]
Walima
Walima is the wedding reception given to friends and family after the
consummation of marriage. It is given by the husband on this
auspicious occassion, showing his happiness and sharing it with the
friends and family.
Narrated Anas: When 'Abdur-Rahman came to us, the Prophet established
a bond of brotherhood between him and Sa'd bin Ar-Rabi'. Once the
Prophet said, "As you (O 'Abdur-Rahman) have married, give a wedding
banquet even if with one sheep." '"
[Bukhari]
Narrated Abu Musa: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `Set the
captives free, accept the invitation (including to a wedding banquet),
and pay a visit to the patients.'"
[Bukhari]
By this saying of the Prophet, peace be upon him, it is also enjoined
upon us to join in the happiness of our brothers.
Duties and Rights of Husband and Wife after marriage
Allah informs us about the just rights of each other on us:
... the wife's rights (with regard to their husbands) are equal to the
(husband's) rights with regard to them, although men are a degree
above them; and Allah is Almighty, Wise.
Qur'an [2 : 228]
The statement that men are a degree above women means that authority
within the household has been give to the husband in preference to the
wife because a heavier burden has been placed on his shoulders by
another verse of the Quran which says:
Men shall take full care of women, because Allah has given the one
more strength than the other, and because they support them from their
means.Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard
in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard ...
Qur'an [4 : 34]
Advice to Husbands
Jabir Narrated that the Prophet, peace be upon him, gave these
instructions in his sermon during Farewell Pilgrimage: "Fear God
regarding women; for you have taken them [in marriage] with the trust
of God."
[Mishkat]
Narrated Aisha, God's messenger said: "Among the believers who show
most perfect faith are those who have the best disposition, and are
kindest to their families."
[Tirmidhi]
Narrated Abu Huraira, God's messenger said: "The believers who show
the most perfect faith are those who have the best disposition and the
best of you are those who are best to their wives."
[Tirmidhi]
Aisha has related that the Holy Prophet, peace be upon him, would
enter the house with a pleasing disposition and a smile on his lips.
[Uswa-i-Hasana]
Narrated Al-Aswad: "I asked Aisha, `What did the Prophet, peace be
upon him, do at home?' She said, `He used to work for his family and
when he heard the call for the prayer, he would go out.'"
[Bukhari]
Narrated Abu Huraira: "Allah's Apostle, peace be upon him, said, `The
woman is like a rib; if you try to straighten her, she will break. So
if you want to get benefit from her, do so while she still has some
bent.'"
[Bukhari]
Narrated Abu Huraira: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `Whoever
believes in Allah and the Last Day should not hurt (trouble) his
neighbor. And I advise you to take care of women, for they are created
from a rib and the most crooked portion of the rib is its upper part;
if you try to straighten it, it will break, and if you leave it, it
will reamin crooked, so I urge you to take care of women.
[Bukhari]
Narrated Abdullah bin Amr bin Al-As: "Allah's Apostle, peace be upon
him, said, `O Abdullah! Have I not been informed that you fast all the
day and stand in prayer all night?' I said, `Yes, O Allah's Apostle!'
He said, `Do not do that! Observe the fast sometimes and also leave
them at other times; stand up for the prayer at night and also sleep
at night. Your body has a right over you and your eyes have right over
you and your wife has a right over you.'"
[Bukhari]
Narrated Ibn Umar: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `All of you
are guardians and are responsible for your wards. The ruler is a
guardian and the man is a guardian of his family; the lady is a
guardian who is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring;
and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your wards.'"
[Bukhari]
Men should forbear any shortcomings of women in view of the following
verse of Quran:
Live with them in kindness; even if you dislike them, perhaps you
dislike something in which God has placed much good.
Qur'an [4 : 19]
Advice to Wives
Anas reported God's messenger as saying, "When a woman observes the
five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and
obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of paradise she
wishes (in other words nothing will prevent her from entering
paradise)."
[Mishkat]
Um Salama reported God's messenger as saying, "Any woman who dies when
her husband is pleased with her will enter Paradise."
[Tirmidhi]
Abu Huraira told that when God's messenger was asked which woman was
best, he replied, "The one who fills [her husband] with joy when he
sees her, obeys him when he directs and does not oppose him by
displeasing him regarding her person or property."
[Mishkat]
Providing for wife and family
Quran teaches us to be reasonable and fair to our wives and family.
House women wherever you reside, accoding to your circumstances, and
do not harass them in order to make life difficult for them ...
Qur'an [65 : 6]
The statement of Allah in the chapter `Woman':
`Men are protectors and maintainers of women ...'
Qur'an [4 : 34]
Bukhari quotes the following verse under the heading: .. the
superiority of providing for one's family:
(O Mohammed!) They ask you what they ought to spend. Say: That which
is beyond your needs. Thus Allah make clear to you His Signs in order
that you may give thought (to it) in this worldly life and the
Hereafter ...
Qur'an [2 : 219-220]
Narrated Abu Masud Al-Ansari: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said,
`When a Muslim spends something on his family intending to receive
Allah's reward, it is regarded as Sadqa (spending in the name of God)
for him.'"
[Bukhari]
We should always remember that Allah is the one who gives us, we are
mere trustees of the funds.
Narrated Abu Huraira: "Allah's Apostle, peace be upon him, said,
`Allah said, O the son of Adam! Spend, and I shall spend on you.'"
[Bukhari]
Narrated Abu Huraira: "Allah's Apostle, peace be upon him, said, `The
best alms is that which you give when you are rich, and you should
support your dependants first.'"
[Bukhari]
Abu Huraira reported God's messenger, peace be upon him, as saying:
"Of the dinar (unit of currency) that you spend as a contribution in
God's path, or to set free a slave, or as charity given to a needy, or
to support your family, the one yielding the greatest reward is that
which you spent on your family.
[Muslim]

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Dought & clear, - Did the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) ever hit his wife ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her)?

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In Saheeh Muslim, in vol. 4, hadeeth no. 2127 it is narrated from the hadeeth of Muhammad ibn Qays that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) stated that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) gave her a painful shove on the chest, then he said, “Do you think that Allah and His Messenger would be unjust to you?” As far as I know, the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) never raised his hand against anyone to hit him, so can you explain to me the reason why the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) hit ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), as mentioned in this hadeeth? There are a lot of people who hate Islam and use this hadeeth to cast aspersions upon the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him).
Praise be to Allah
The hadeeth mentioned in the question is that which was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), who said:
When it was my night when the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was with me, he came in and took off his cloak, took off his shoes and put them by his feet, spread the edge of his waist wrapper on his bed and lay down. He waited until he thought that I had gone to sleep, then he picked up his cloak slowly, put on his shoes slowly, opened the door slowly, and went out, then he closed it slowly. I put my chemise over my head and veiled myself, and wrapped my waist wrapper around me, then I set out following him, until he reached al-Baqee‘ where he stood for a long time, then he raised his hands three times. Then he set off, so I set off, then he hastened, so I hastened, then he jogged, so I jogged, then he ran so I ran, then I reached home before him and went in. No sooner had I laid down but he came in and said: “What is the matter, O ‘Aa’ishah? Why are you out of breath?” I said: It is nothing. He said: “Either you tell me or the Subtle One, the All-Aware will tell me.” I said: O Messenger of Allah, may my father and mother be sacrificed for you! And I told him. He said: “So you were the person that I saw in front of me?” I said: Yes. He gave me a painful shove on the chest, then he said: “Did you think that Allah and His Messenger would be unjust to you?” She said: Whatever the people conceal, Allah knows it; yes. He said: “Jibreel came to me when you saw. He called me but he concealed it from you, and I answered him but I concealed it from you. He would not enter upon you when you were not fully dressed. I thought that you had gone to sleep and I did not want to wake you up, and I was afraid that you might be frightened. He said: “Your Lord is commanding you to go to the people of al-Baqee’ and pray for forgiveness for them.” I said: What should I say to them, O Messenger of Allah? He said: “Say: Peace be upon the people of these abodes, believers and Muslims. May Allah have mercy on those of us who have gone on before and those who come later, and we will – if Allah wills – join you soon.”
Narrated by Muslim, 974
The issue mentioned in the question may be explained from several angles:
Firstly:
The words of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), “he gave me a painful shove in the chest” indicate that what the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) did was merely a shove, i.e., he pushed her or poked her in the chest; this does not reach the level of real hitting that is intended to cause pain and to humiliate. In fact it is stated inLisaan al-‘Arab(3/393) that one of the meanings of the word lahd (translated here as shove) is poke. InTaaj al-‘Aroos(9/145) it says that one of the meanings of the word lahd is to apply pressure.
All of these meanings indicate that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) did not hit her in the sense meant by those who want to cast aspersions upon him; rather he poked her or pushed her in the chest in such a way that she felt pain, but it was mild and unintended pain; rather the purpose behind it was to point out something and teach.
Secondly:
If the reader reflects on this hadeeth he will realise that it is one of the proofs of the greatness of the Prophet’s attitude. A man may live with his wife for many years, and she may do many things because of the jealousy that is an inherent part of women’s character, but he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) is not known to have ever caused her harm in word or deed, except for what is mentioned in this hadeeth, despite the large number of narrators who transmitted all the details of his life (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him). This is indicative of his perfect character (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him).
As for those haters who seek to cast aspersions upon him, they wish that they could find any suggestion that he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) hit his wife in such a way that it caused pain, or at least that he hit her in a way that hurt her, by way of rebuking and humiliation. But they failed to do so. The most that is mentioned in this hadeeth is that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said: He gave me a painful shove in the chest. The one who wants to hit and humiliate someone will not limit it to a shove in the chest; rather he will focus his energies on the sides of the body or the face, and have a humiliating impact on the mind of the one whom he hits. We do not see anything of that nature in the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her).
Thirdly:
This hadeeth is indicative of the perfect character of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and of his compassion and tenderheartedness, because he did not rebuke or strike or tell off; rather he chided her gently with the aim of teaching ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) and the ummah after her. Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, and His Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) do not treat anyone unjustly, and it is not permissible for anyone to think negatively of Allah or His Messenger. Rather what is required of others is to think positively of Allah and to accept whatever Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, decrees. That “shove” was one of the means of teaching and highlighting a matter of great importance that it is not appropriate to forget or neglect, no matter how great her jealousy concerning the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and her love for him. It is not appropriate for it to be thought that the Prophet of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) would wrong any of his wives for the sake of another, Allah forbid.
Fourthly:
Another indication that this “shove” was not by way of beating and causing pain; rather it was by way of teaching and pointing out something, is the rest of the conversation between the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her). It was a peaceful and beneficial discussion in which the compassion of the greatest teacher (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was manifested, as he explained to her the reason why he had gone out of the house at that late hour. He (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) had opened the door quietly and left the house without a sound so as not to disturb her sleep. Such an explanation could not stem from anger or the aim of causing pain; rather it came from a compassionate, kind and noble husband who respected his wife and explained to her, telling her the details of what had happened with him, so as to share his story with her. Thus he instilled in her heart a sense of confidence and trust in her honest and sincere husband.
She said: Whatever the people conceal, Allah knows it; yes. He said: “Jibreel came to me when you saw. He called me but he concealed it from you, and I answered him but I concealed it from you. He would not enter upon you when you were not fully dressed. I thought that you had gone to sleep and I did not want to wake you up, and I was afraid that you might be frightened. He said: “Your Lord is commanding you to go to the people of al-Baqee’ and pray for forgiveness for them.” I said: What should I say to them, O Messenger of Allah? He said: “Say: Peace be upon the people of these abodes, believers and Muslims. May Allah have mercy on those of us who have gone on before and those who come later, and we will – if Allah wills – join you soon.”
Let the one who honestly and sincerely seeks the truth reflect on the story of a husband to whom an important matter came when he was sleeping in his wife’s bed at night. He wanted to go out and leave her, but he did not want to wake her up or disturb her sleep; he also did not want her to wake up and feel lonely, anxious and afraid that she had suddenly lost her husband who had been by her side.
Fifthly:
If we were to quote all the hadeeths that highlight the forbearance of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) with his wives, it would take a long time. He was forbearing and compassionate in situations where an ordinary husband might lose his cool. But the one who had this great character (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was patient and forbearing; indeed he refrained from doing anything that could upset his wife.
Another example of that is seen in the report narrated by Umm Salamah (may Allah be pleased with her), which says that she brought some food in a dish of hers to the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon her) and his companions, then ‘Aa’ishah came, wrapped up in a garment, with a stone pestle and broke the dish. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) gathered the broken pieces of the dish and said: “Eat; your mother got jealous,” twice. Then the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) took the dish of ‘Aa’ishah and sent it to Umm Salamah and he gave the dish of Umm Salamah to ‘Aa’ishah
Narrated by an-Nasaa’i inas-Sunan, 3956; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh an-Nasaa’i
It was narrated that Nu‘maan ibn Basheer (may Allah be pleased with him) said:
Abu Bakr came and asked permission to enter upon the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), and he heard ‘Aa’ishah raising her voice to the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him). He gave him permission to enter, so he entered and said: O daughter of Umm Roomaan! – and he grabbed her – do you raise your voice to the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)? The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) separated them, and when Abu Bakr left, the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) started saying to her, to make her feel happy: “Do you not see how I intervened between the man and you?”
He said: Then Abu Bakr came and asked for permission to enter upon him, and he found him laughing with her. Permission was given to him, and he entered, and Abu Bakr said to him: O Messenger of Allah, make me a partner in your peace as you made me a partner in your war.
Narrated by Ahmad in al-Musnad, 30/341-342. The commentators said: Its isnaad is saheeh according to the conditions of Muslim.
So let those haters reflect on how great the compassion of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was towards his wife ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), and how much he loved her, even in difficult circumstances in front of his guests before whom she broke the dish of food, and he looked for an excuse for her, saying: “your mother got jealous.”
Isn’t jealousy the same factor that motivated ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) to go out following the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) that night, when she thought that he had gone out to see one of his other wives, but that did not cause him (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) to rebuke her by hitting her in a way so as to cause pain, as happens with many husbands.
Sixthly:
If this “shove” had been hitting in a real and violent sense, ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) would have wept like young women do, and she would have expressed her pain and objection to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him). But she did not do that; rather she continued the conversation with the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and showed politeness by asking about the dhikr that is recommended when visiting graves. This indicates that the “shove” was no more than a gesture aimed at alerting and teaching, and that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) did not feel the slightest sense of hurt or offence that these haters are looking for to use against our noble Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him).
Seventhly:
Moreover we say: if a husband hits his wife – if it is gentle and not by way of humiliation, and there is an urgent reason for doing so – this is something permissible that was permitted by the Holy Qur’an, in which Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husbands absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husbands property, etc.). As to those women on whose part you see ill conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great”
[an-Nisa’ 4:34].
‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) made a mistake by going out of her house without the permission of her husband (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), but the reason why she did it was that she wanted to catch up with him, as she felt happy being close to him. But – whatever the case – it was a mistake. Nevertheless, the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) did not use the means of striking lightly that is permitted by the Holy Qur’an, although if he had done that there would have been nothing wrong with it. It would have been within his rights to punish for such a mistake, as the Prophet of Allah Moosa (peace be upon him) took hold of his brother’s head and pulled him towards him. Rather our noble Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) used “poking” the chest accompanied by a reminder to fear Allah, may He be glorified and exalted. This is an example of his perfect character and attitude (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him).
And Allah knows best.

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Dought & clear, - How to work out the seventh day on which it is mustahabb to sacrificethe ‘aqeeqah

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My question is: I had a baby boy born to me on Thursday at 4 p.m.; when should his ‘aqeeqah be? Should Thursday be counted (in working it out)?
Praise be to Allah
It is mustahabb to sacrifice the ‘aqeeqah on behalf of the new born on the seventh day, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Every child is in pledge for his ‘aqeeqah, which should be sacrificed on his behalf on the seventh day, and his head should be saved and he should be given his name.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2455; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Our companions said: The Sunnah is to sacrifice it on the seventh day, and we do not know of any difference of opinion among the scholars who say that it is prescribed concerning the fact that it is mustahabb to sacrifice it on the seventh day. The evidence for that is the hadeeth of Samurah, from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) according to which he said: “Every child is in pledge for his ‘aqeeqah, which should be sacrificed on his behalf on the seventh day…”
End quote fromal-Mughni, 9/364
Secondly:
Once it is established that it is mustahabb to sacrifice the ‘aqeeqah on behalf of the child on the seventh day, is the day of birth included in that, according to the majority of scholars? An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Is the day of birth counted as one of the seven? There are two opinions, the more correct of which is that it is counted, so the sacrifice is done on the sixth day after (the day of birth).
The second view is that it is not counted, so the sacrifice is done on the seventh day after (the day of birth). This is what is stated in al-Buwayti, but the first view is the apparent meaning of the hadeeths. If the child is born at night, the day that follows that night is included, and there is no difference of opinion on this point.
End quote fromal-Majmoo‘, 8/411
Inal-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah(30/279) it says: The majority of fuqaha’ are of the view that the day of birth is counted as one of the seven, but the night is not counted if the infant is born at night; rather the day that follows that night is counted. End quote.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The words “is to be sacrificed on the seventh day” mean that it is Sunnah to sacrifice the ‘aqeeqah on the seventh day. So if the child was born on Saturday, the sacrifice is to be done on Friday, i.e., one day before the day on which the child was born. This is the basic guideline. If the child was born on Thursday, then (the ‘aqeeqah) should be on Wednesday.
End quote fromash-Sharh al-Mumti‘, 7/493
Thirdly:
What was said about the day of birth not being counted if the child is born after midday was stated by a number of scholars (may Allah have mercy on them). In fact they said that the day of birth should not be counted at all, whether the child was born before or after midday. This is the view of the Maalikis.
It says inMukhtasar Khaleel: It is recommended to sacrifice one sheep that meets the requirements of udhiyah on the seventh day after birth, during the day, and the (previous) day should not be counted if the birth occurred shortly before Fajr.
Al-Mawwaaq (may Allah have mercy on him) said, quoting from Ibn Rushd: The view of Ibn al-Qaasim and his report from Maalik inal-Mudawwanahand elsewhere is that if the child was born after dawn, that day is not to be counted, and the seven days should be counted from the following day. If the child is born before dawn, if that was at night, then that day is to be counted.
End quote fromat-Taaj wa’l-Ikleel, 4/390
The correct view is that of the majority of scholars (may Allah have mercy on him), which is that the ‘aqeeqah is to be sacrificed on the child’s behalf on the seventh day from his birth, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “[it] should be sacrificed on his behalf on the seventh day…”.
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Muhammad al-Mukhtaar ash-Shanqeeti (may Allah preserve him) said: What is meant is that the day of the ‘aqeeqah is the seventh day after the day of birth. Therefore the day (of the week) on which he is born is the seventh day.
End quote fromSharh al-Mustaqni‘.
The matter is mustahabb. If it is possible to sacrifice the ‘aqeeqah on the seventh day after his birth, this is better, but if it is not possible to do it until after the seventh day, there is nothing wrong with that and the ‘aqeeqah sacrificed on the child’s behalf will be acceptable.
An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: If he sacrifices it after the seventh day or before it, or after the birth, that is acceptable, but if he sacrifices it before the birth, that is not acceptable, and there is no difference of scholarly opinion on this point; rather it is just meat.
And Allah knows best.

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The Heart of the Matter |-:__:-|: For children, - Islamic Ethics and Morality: Alleg...

The Heart of the Matter |-:__:-|: For children, - Islamic Ethics and Morality: Alleg...: Share What is an allegation? To reveal the bad quality of a believer, which is actually found in him is Gheebat (backbitin...

For children, - Islamic Ethics and Morality: Allegations against a believer (Mo'min)

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What is an allegation? To reveal the bad quality of a believer, which is actually found in him is Gheebat (backbiting). However, to reveal detestable traits of a believer, which are not found in him is called Tohmat (allegation). The sole purpose behind leveling allegations is to defame the believer.
There are two words for backbiting, one is GHEEBAT, and the other is TOHMAT. When you speak about someone, and what you say is TRUE, then this is GHEEBAT. When you speak about someone, and what you say is FALSE, then this is TOHMAT.
The Prophet Mohammed (s.a.w.s.) once said, "O Abu Zar, keep yourself away from backbiting because it is worse than adultery ... After committing adultery, if one repents, Allah forgives him, but the backbiter can not be pardoned unless he has been pardoned by the one about whom he has been backbiting."
Imagine you saw someone you know go into a pub (a place where people go to drink alcohol). If you were to tell the world that this man has been drinking, then that is Tohmat. How do you know he was drinking? He could have broken down, and gone in the pub to use the phone, or ask directions.
In Islam, you should always give the benefit of the doubt to others. Even if someone does do something bad, you should hide it, and not tell the whole world. How would you like it if Allah (SWT) told the whole world the evil that you or I perform? We all commit sins at one time or another. If Allah (SWT) can hide our faults, then you should hide the faults of others.
In Dua e Kumail, we say to Allah (SWT), "O He who covers defects ... " In the Noble Qur'an, Allah (SWT) tells us: "... And do not spy nor let some of you backbite others. Does one of you like to eat the dead flesh of his brother?" (49:12)
This shows us that backbiting is as bad as eating the flesh of your dead brother. This means that once someone you know, i.e., your brother/sister in Islam has done something bad, they have killed their own reputation. By telling others what they have done, you are enjoying and gaining at their loss. It is as if you are eating and feasting on the reputation they have already destroyed.
In the early days of the first few Imams, there were two men. Let us call the fist one Haroon and the second one Khalid. One day Khalid started telling everybody bad things about Haroon. Khalid was spreading lies all around. After a few days Haroon heard about this. The first thing he did was to go home and put all his money, valuable gold and silver in a big bag and then took the bag to Khalid's house.
When Khalid saw Haroon coming he became scared because he thought that Haroon had come to beat him up. Khalid came out of his house and fell on his knees and begged to Haroon, "O Haroon, I am really sorry, I did not mean to tell tales about you, O please do not beat me!"
Haroon said, "I have not come to beat you, I have come to give you this money, and this wealth."
Khalid had the shock of his life. Haroon continued, " Khalid, I have come to thank you, here have this wealth of mine."
Khalid stood up and asked, "Why are you giving me wealth when I have insulted you and spoilt your name among the people?"
Haroon replied. "The Prophet Mohammed (s.a.w.s.)has said that if one person TALKS BEHIND THE BACK of another, the thawaab (reward) of the first person gets transferred to the second." he continued, "So now that you have spoken bad of me behind my back, I am thanking you for giving me all your thawaab. This money is too little for the amount of thawaab that you have given me."
This shows how bad Gheebat and Tohmat are.
Once there was a man who did Tohmat of our Sixth Imam Sadiq (a.s.). Imam Sadiq (a.s.) did no know about it until a few days later when one of his 'friends' came to him and said, "Oh Imam, I have heard terrible news. This person has been going around and saying this about you."
Imam Sadiq (a.s.) became angry at his 'friend'. He said, "Think of the person who did Tohmat towards me as if he shot an arrow at my body. I did not hear him so it is as if the arrow missed me; But by telling me this news, you have picked up the arrow from the ground and have hit me with it."
It is the duty of a good Muslim to stop others from speaking ill of a person, and if that is not possible he should go away from the people who are talking ill.

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