Personal, - Protective Jealousy is the Characteristic of the Noble - I

Protective jealousy is an innate noble characteristic upon which a
sound person whom Allaah has honored and favored was created. Islam
elevated the rank of this sublime trait and laudably mentioned it to
the extent that it considers defending one's honor and being
protectively jealous about inviolable matters a type of Jihaad. For
this, a person may offer everything and sacrifice his soul, and such a
person would be at the same rank as the martyr in Paradise. It was
narrated on the authority of Sa'eed ibn Zayd, may Allaah be pleased
with him, that he said, "I heard the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam, saying:'A person who is killed while protecting his property
is a martyr, a person who is killed while defending his life is a
martyr, a person who is killed while defending his religion is a
martyr, and a person who is killed while defending his family is a
martyr.'
"
The Meaning of Protective Jealousy
It is a change in the state of the heart and feelings of anger that
arise due to a person's feeling that others might share or aspire to
share something that he owns. This feeling appears among the spouses.
Both men and women share this instinct, although the protective
jealousy of women is greater. This feeling becomes more intense when
the woman feels that her husband is betraying her or that he desires
another woman. Likewise, the man feels the same when he has suspicions
regarding his wife's behavior or feels that she desires other men.
Protective Jealously from the Sharee'ah Viewpoint
For both men and women, protective jealousy, when called for and shown
in a moderate way, is a praiseworthy trait and it is a necessity for
spouses in order that they can live in kindness. Each of them also has
to consider the protective jealousy of the other and know that every
matter has a moderate and sensible point between its two extremes. It
was proven that the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam,
said:"There is jealousy that Allaah loves and jealousy that He hates.
There is pride that Allaah loves and pride that He hates. The jealousy
that Allaah loves is jealousy regarding a matter of suspicion. The
jealousy that He hates is jealousy regarding something that is not
doubtful. The pride that Allaah loves is a man's pride when fighting
and when giving in charity. The pride that Allaah hates is that shown
in oppression and boasting."]Ahmad and others, Al-Albaani - Saheeh[
Protective Jealousy is an Indication of Manliness
Protective jealousy, when justified and shown in a moderate manner, is
an indication of true manhood. It leads to the protection of honor,
the safeguarding of sacred ordinances, the veneration of the symbols
of Allaah, and the promotion of adherence to the limits that He has
set. It denotes the strength of one's faith and shows that it is
instilled in his heart. Little wonder then that unethical practices,
impermissible exposure of women's beauty, immorality and
licentiousness prevails throughout the western world and other similar
communities. The reason behind this is either the lack of or the
complete absence of protective jealousy.
Even in the pre-Islamic era, this characteristic prevailed among the
Arabs who experienced the meanings of these virtues. They would be
protectively jealous even about their neighbors' honor from their own
desires. Manly zeal could also drive these people to incite wars for
the sake of any assault against a woman, to protect her honor, or in
response to her seeking refuge. The cause of the war of Al-Fijaar that
broke out between the Arabs was that a group of youth from Banu
Kinaanah saw a woman in the market of 'Ukaath and asked her to uncover
her face, and when she refused they began mocking her. Thereupon, she
screamed, "O people of 'Aamir!" Immediately their fighters responded
to her request. The tribe of Kinaanah stood to defend their youth. The
tribe of Hawaazin stood on the side of Banu 'Aamir and Quraysh stood
on the side of Kinaanah, which resulted in a countless number of
victims and much bloodshed.
Excessive Protective Jealousy
Excessive jealousy is a source of trouble for the person and those
around him. Many so-called honor-related crimes are committed due to
rumors. This extent of jealousy, which is hazardous, may drive a
person to kill others without any justification or sound evidence for
his action. This happens in many places. Some husbands have the
disease of bitter doubts which turns their marital life into
unbearable turmoil. It was narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam, forbade that a man should unexpectedly come to his
wife at night, doubting her fidelity and probing into her lapses.
]Muslim[ It is improper for a husband to have no confidence in his
wife, and he should not be excessive in monitoring her each and every
action. There is no doubt that such behavior damages the marital
relationship and severs what Allaah The Almighty has ordered to be
joined.
'Ali ibn Abi Taalib, may Allaah be pleased with him, would say, "Do
not have excessive jealousy over your wives such that you would cause
them to be slandered." Also, Mu'aawiyah, may Allaah be pleased with
him, said, "There are three characteristics of nobility: Forgiveness,
having a flat abdomen and avoiding excessive protective jealousy."
Therefore, moderation in this regard is very important and the limits
of the required protective jealousy are determined by the texts of the
Sharee'ah. It was narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam, said:"Allaah becomes jealous and the believer also becomes
jealous. Allaah becomes jealous when the believer commits what He has
forbidden."]Al-Bukhaari[
Protective jealousy is required if women violate the prohibitions of
Allaah The Almighty, and in this case such jealousy is praiseworthy.
Conversely, being void of such jealousy in these situations is
dispraised and is the cause of a person being prevented from entering
Paradise. The proof of this is what was narrated on the authority of
'Ammaar ibn Yaasir, may Allaah be pleased with him, that the Prophet,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"There are three types of people
who will never enter Paradise: A Dayyooth, a woman who assumes a
masculine attitude and an alcoholic."His Companions asked, "O
Messenger of Allaah, we know what an alcoholic is, but what is a
Dayyooth?" He, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, replied:"He is the
person who does not care who has private access to his womenfolk."The
Companions asked, "Who are the women who assume a masculine attitude?"
He, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, replied:"They are women who imitate
men."
Considering the Protective Jealousy of Others
When a man feels the pain of a loss or jealousy when his friend
forsakes him and befriends someone else, then we should consider the
jealousy of the mother-in-law. A mother in this situation feels as if
she has lost her son to someone else, after having cared for him
throughout his entire life and sacrificed every dear and precious
thing to make him a man of consequence in this life. Also, just as the
person feels jealous over his wife, he should consider her jealousy
over him. It is improper to show his admiration for other women, not
to mention narrating his pre or post-marital relationships, as this is
not a source of pride. Rather, a person should keep it hidden, repent
from such an act if they have happened, and adhere to Sitr )covering
and protection(.
A woman should also control herself as much as she can, otherwise her
jealousy would be irrepressible. Commenting on the verse in which
Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And they will have therein
purified spouses.{]Quran 2:25[, Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allaah have mercy
upon him, said, "They are purified from menstruation, urination and
any harm that afflicts women in this world. Their souls are also
purified from jealousy, wanting to harm their husbands and desire for
other men."
The Jealousy of Allaah The Exalted
Sharee'ah texts prove that Allaah The Exalted becomes jealous . His
jealousy is a fact and He becomes jealous in a manner that befits His
majesty and perfection. A manifestation of His Jealousy is His dislike
that His slave should fall into acts of disobedience or associate
anything in what is due solely to Him in terms of obeying His commands
and avoiding His prohibitions. It was narrated that the Prophet,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"Allaah becomes jealous and the
believer also becomes jealous. Allaah becomes jealous when the
believer commits what He has forbidden."]Al-Bukhaari[ In another
Hadeeth, he , sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"No one is more
jealous than Allaah The Almighty. Because of His jealousy, Allaah has
prohibited immorality, both apparent and concealed, and no one likes
to be praised more than Allaah The Almighty."]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
Another narration of this Hadeeth states:"The believer gets jealous
and Allaah is even more jealous."]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
It was narrated in a Hadeeth that the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam, said to his Companions, may Allaah be pleased with them, about
one of them:"Are you surprised at Sa'd's jealousy over his honor? By
Allaah, I am more jealous over my honor than he is over his, and
Allaah is more jealous than I am."]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[

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