Fathwa, - Is this divorce?

Question:
I know of a man who told his wife that if her mother came to their
house again it will be divorce, it will be divorce, it will be divorce
(three times). His wife's mother did visit them soon after. Is the
divorce final? Thereafter, the man took a fatwa from some "maulvi" who
said that it was not really divorce and that the man and his wife
could live together as a married couple. So they did. The man has been
extremely abusive, both physically and emotionally, to his wife and
three children all his life. Apart from providing financial support,
he has never really been a father to his children and from the very
first day has not been a good husband spending months and years away
from his wife in other cities and forcing her to stay at home and live
with his also-abusive parents and brother and sisters. This man leads
a wayward life (and always has) indulging in numerous extra-marital
affairs with many women at the same time ... he has been doing it
openly, in front of his wife and children from the time they were
little. The extra-marital affairs have involved physical intimacy on
many occasions as well. He also ended all physical intimacy with his
wife many years ago even though there was no legitimate reason for it.
His wife has been patient and kind throughout this time and has obeyed
him at all times even though he has always been mean to her and has
been torturing her emotionally for decades. She is a modest, righteous
woman and has done everything that a woman can do to make her marriage
work. The children are good too and they have always been respectful
towards their father even though they know what he is like. This man
has never been made to feel like he is not doing enough or that he is
a bad husband or father, yet he does not stop leading the kind of life
he does. In fact, he tries to show people that he is a religious man
when in fact he does every bad thing he says he doesn't. He says he
never lies, yet he lies all the time and also makes his children lie
to others for him. He decieves other people, is not honest with anyone
(not even his own parents) and has recently cut down financial support
for his wife and children even though he earns well and can more than
afford to continue supporting them. The wife apprised her in-laws of
the situation after tolerating him for 30 years and was hoping that
they would be able to help guide their wayward son. However, the
in-laws took their son's side. Moreover, the man is capable of harming
his wife and kids now that he knows how they feel (since the matter
came out into the open because of the in-laws). The man has a history
of taking revenge and inflicting serious wounds on other people. The
wife and children no longer feel safe in that house and they want to
leave. No rational advice has come from any quarter as yet including
from so-called ulemas. What is the best course of action according to
Shariah? Is it permissible for the wife and children to immigrate for
the sake of their religion and their safety given that the man is
refusing to be a protector of his family and in fact is perhaps the
biggest threat to them?
Answer:
In the name of Allah Most Merciful Most Compassionate
I pray you are well and in the best of health and iman.
Given the sensitivity of your situation, you should refer to a
reliable local scholar in person. However, if the wording you have
given is correct 'it will be divorce', then these words don't
constitute a divorce. As for her and her children immigrating, she
would have to discuss this with a local scholar.
And Allah alone gives success.