Roughness Leads to Disunity

Roughness is a dispraised attribute that implies bad manners. It
causes disunity and estrangement among people and severs that which
Allaah The Almighty ordered to be maintained. Moreover, it has
destroyed many households and separated many families. Many people who
may love each other have nonetheless been afflicted with roughness and
alienation due to harsh tempers, ill treatment and a lack of
gentleness in tackling matters.
Roughness may be innate or acquired, and both are bad. A true believer
immediately sets himself aright by avoiding the causes and forms of
roughness. The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"Whoever
lives in the desert will become rough."]Ahmad and At-Tirmithi,
At-Tirmithi - Hasan Saheeh[ This means that if a person inhabits the
desert, his nature will become coarse, as man adopts the
characteristics of his environment. In other words, Westerners are
rougher than Easterners, and the dwellers of deserts and herders of
camels are rougher than others.
It was narrated on the authority of Ibn Mas'ood, may Allaah be pleased
with him, that the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam,
said:"]True[ belief is over there ]and he pointed with his hand
towards Yemen[, while roughness and harshness are the qualities of
those who own a great number of camels and drive them ]noisily[ behind
their tails ]to the direction[ where the two horns of Satan will
appear ]in the direction of[ the tribes of Rabee'ah and
Mudhar."]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
It was also narrated on the authority of Abu Bakr, may Allaah be
pleased with him, that the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam,
said:"Bashfulness is from faith, and faith leads to Paradise. Foulness
is from roughness, and roughness leads to Hell."]At-Tirmithi and Ibn
Maajah, At-Tirmithi - Hasan Saheeh[
Everything Has a Share of Its Name
It is noticeable that there is an obvious relationship between things
and their names, between man and the world around him, and between man
and the nature of his profession. Pediatricians, for example, may
differ from surgeons; the disposition of soldiers and troops may
differ from that of others, although a person is not allowed to
justify his roughness as a product of his nature, environment or work.
It is said that people did not disobey Allaah The Almighty except due
to false justifications.
The Quran Disparages Roughness
There are many texts that dispraise and warn against roughness. Allaah
The Almighty Says )what means(:
•}So by Mercy from Allaah, ]O Muhammad[, you were lenient with them.
And if you had been rude ]in speech[ and harsh in heart, they would
have disbanded from about you.{]Quran 3:159[
•}Then why, when Our punishment came to them, did they not humble
themselves? But their hearts became hardened, and Satan made
attractive to them that which they were doing.{]Quran 6:43[
•}So is one whose breast Allaah has expanded to ]accept[ Islam and he
is upon a light from his Lord ]like one whose heart rejects it[? Then,
woe to those whose hearts are hardened against the remembrance of
Allaah. Those are in manifest error.{]Quran 39:22[
•}Has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts
should become humbly submissive at the remembrance of Allaah and what
has come down of the truth? And let them not be like those who were
given the Scripture before, and a long period passed over them, so
their hearts hardened; and many of them are defiantly
disobedient.{]Quran 57:16[
The Sunnah Forbids Roughness
Like the Quran, the Sunnah of the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam, forbade roughness. It was narrated on the authority of Abu
Moosa Al-'Ash'ari, may Allaah be pleased with him, that the Prophet,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"Exalting Allaah The Almighty
involves showing honor to a grey-haired Muslim and to a person who
memorizes the Quran without acting extravagantly or roughly, and by
showing honor to a just ruler."]Abu Daawood, Al-Albaani - Hasan[ In
another Hadeeth which mentions the Hour, the Prophet, sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam, said:"When the naked, barefooted and rough people
become heads of people, this is a sign of the Hour."]Ahmad,
Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
It was also narrated on the authority of 'Aa'ishah, may Allaah be
pleased with her, that the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam,
said:"The most hated person in the sight of Allaah is the most
quarrelsome person."]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[ The quarrelsome one is he
who behaves wickedly when he quarrels.
Also, it was narrated on the authority of Abu Hurayrah, may Allaah be
pleased with him, that the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam,
said:"Do not speak foul words, do not give your backs to one another
]i.e., boycott or bear enmity towards one another[, do not spy on one
another, and do not override the sales transactions of one another,
and be, O slaves of Allaah, brothers."]Muslim[
It was also narrated on the authority of Abu Ayyoob Al-Ansaari, may
Allaah be pleased with him, that the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam, said:"It is not permissible for a Muslim to desert his brother
for more than three nights ]where[ when they meet, one turns away and
the other turns away; and the best of the two is the one who greets
the other first."]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
What the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, forbade us from in
this Hadeeth is certainly an aspect of roughness. Similarly, it was
narrated on the authority of Abu Hurayrah, may Allaah be pleased with
him, that the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"It is not
permissible for a Muslim to desert his brother for more than three
nights; whoever deserts and then dies will enter Hell."]Abu Daawood,
Al-Albaani - Saheeh[ Additionally, it was narrated on the authority of
Abu Khiraash As-Sulami, may Allaah be pleased with him, that he heard
the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, saying:"If a person
deserts his brother for more than a year, this is considered as if he
has shed his blood."]Abu Daawood, Al-Albaani - Saheeh[
Finally, it was narrated on the authority of Sahl ibn Sa'd, may Allaah
be pleased with him, that the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam,
said:"A believer harmonizes with people and they harmonize with him;
and there is no good in a person who neither familiarizes nor is
familiarized."]Ahmad, Al-Albaani - Saheeh and it meets the conditions
stipulated by Muslim[
Allaah The Almighty, the angels and mankind, in general, hate
roughness and harshness. A believer, therefore, should avoid violence,
harshness, frowning, recklessness, ill treatment, undutifulness to
parents and ill thoughts. He should have gentleness, mercy,
righteousness, compassion and forbearance. Purification of the soul
precedes beautifying it.
A Muslim should strive hard to stay away from the causes and forms of
violence. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:
•}He has succeeded who purifies it, And he has failed who instills it
]with corruption[{]Quran 91:9-10[
•}And those who strive for Us - We will surely guide them to Our ways.
And indeed, Allaah is with the doers of good.{]Quran 29:69[
A slave should resort to Allaah The Almighty and supplicate to Him -
perhaps Allaah The Almighty will guide him to follow the example of
the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam. The Prophet, sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam, was the most gentle of all people; he was a smiling
person and would maintain the ties of kinship, help the weak, support
the destitute, serve guests generously and assist those afflicted with
calamities. Allaah The Almighty never fails a person who adopts such a
behavior, as Khadeejah the mother of the believers, may Allaah be
pleased with her, stated.
Let us adopt the manners of the believers, for a believer is simple,
accessible and easy. He submits to the truth, harmonizes with people
and people harmonize with him. Conversely, there is no good in a
person who is rough and harsh: a person who does not harmonize with
people, nor do they harmonize with him.