Roughness Leads to Disunity

Roughness is a dispraisedattribute that implies badmanners. It causes
disunity and estrangement among people and severs that which Allaah
The Almighty ordered to be maintained. Moreover, it has destroyed many
households and separated many families. Many people who may love each
other have nonetheless been afflicted with roughness and alienation
due to harsh tempers, ill treatment and a lack of gentleness in
tackling matters.
Roughness may be innateor acquired, and both arebad. A true believer
immediately sets himself aright by avoiding the causes and forms of
roughness. The Prophetsaid:"Whoever lives inthe desert will become
rough."]Ahmad and At-Tirmithi, At-Tirmithi - Hasan Saheeh[ This means
that if a person inhabits the desert, his nature will become coarse,
as man adopts the characteristics of his environment. In other words,
Westerners are rougher than Easterners, and the dwellers of deserts
and herders of camels are rougher than others.
It was narrated on the authority of Ibn Mas'oodthat the
Prophetsaid:"]True[ belief is overthere ]and he pointed with his hand
towards Yemen[, while roughness and harshness are the qualities of
those who own a great number of camels and drive them]noisily[ behind
their tails]to the direction[ where the two horns of Satan will appear
]in the direction of[ the tribes ofRabee'ah and Mudhar."]Al-Bukhaari
and Muslim[
It was also narrated on the authority of Abu Bakrthat the
Prophetsaid:"Bashfulness is from faith, and faith leads to Paradise.
Foulness is fromroughness, and roughness leads to Hell."]At-Tirmithi
and Ibn Maajah, At-Tirmithi - Hasan Saheeh[
Everything Has a Share ofIts Name
It is noticeable that there is an obvious relationshipbetween things
and theirnames, between man and the world around him, and between man
and the nature of his profession. Pediatricians, for example, may
differ from surgeons; the disposition of soldiers and troops may
differ from that of others, although a person is not allowed to
justify his roughness as a product of his nature, environment or work.
It is said that people did not disobey Allaah The Almighty except due
to false justifications.
The Quran Disparages Roughness
There are many texts thatdispraise and warn against roughness.
AllaahThe Almighty Says )what means(:
•}So by Mercy from Allaah, ]O Muhammad[, you were lenient with them.
And if you had been rude ]in speech[ and harsh in heart, they would
have disbanded from about you.{]Quran 3:159[
•}Then why, when Our punishment came to them, did they not humble
themselves? But their hearts became hardened, and Satan made
attractive to them that which they were doing.{]Quran 6:43[
•}So is one whose breast Allaah has expanded to]accept[ Islam and he
is upon a light from his Lord ]like one whose heart rejects it[? Then,
woe to those whose hearts are hardened against the remembranceof
Allaah. Those are in manifest error.{]Quran 39:22[
•}Has the time not come for those who have believed that their
heartsshould become humbly submissive at the remembrance of Allaah and
what has come down of the truth? And let them not be like thosewho
were given the Scripture before, and a long period passed over them,
so their hearts hardened; and many of them are defiantly
disobedient.{]Quran 57:16[
The Sunnah Forbids Roughness
Like the Quran, the Sunnah of the Prophetforbade roughness. It was
narrated on the authority of Abu Moosa Al-'Ash'arithat the
Prophetsaid:"Exalting Allaah The Almighty involves showing honor to a
grey-haired Muslim and to a person who memorizes the Quran without
acting extravagantly or roughly,and by showing honor toa just
ruler."]Abu Daawood, Al-Albaani - Hasan[ In another Hadeeth which
mentions the Hour, the Prophetsaid:"When the naked, barefooted and
rough people become heads of people, this is a sign of the
Hour."]Ahmad, Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
It was also narrated on the authority of 'Aa'ishahthat the
Prophetsaid:"The most hated person in the sight of Allaah is the most
quarrelsome person."]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[ The quarrelsome one is he
who behaves wickedly when he quarrels.
Also, it was narrated on the authority of Abu Hurayrahthat the
Prophetsaid:"Do not speak foul words, do not give your backs to one
another ]i.e., boycott or bear enmity towards oneanother[, do not spy
on one another, and do not override the sales transactions of one
another, and be, O slaves of Allaah, brothers."]Muslim[
It was also narrated on the authority of Abu Ayyoob Al-Ansaarithatthe
Prophetsaid:"It is not permissible for a Muslim to desert his brother
for more than three nights ]where[ when they meet, one turns away and
the otherturns away; and the best of the two is the one who greets the
other first."]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
What the Prophetforbade us from in this Hadeeth is certainly an aspect
of roughness. Similarly, it was narrated on the authority of Abu
Hurayrahthat the Prophetsaid:"It is not permissible for a Muslim to
desert his brother for more than three nights; whoever deserts and
then dies will enter Hell."]Abu Daawood, Al-Albaani - Saheeh[
Additionally, it was narrated on the authorityof Abu Khiraash
As-Sulamithat he heard the Prophetsaying:"If a person deserts his
brother for more than a year, this is considered as if he has shed his
blood."]Abu Daawood, Al-Albaani - Saheeh[
Finally, it was narrated on the authority of Sahl ibn Sa'dthat the
Prophetsaid:"A believer harmonizes withpeople and they harmonize with
him; andthere is no good in a person who neither familiarizes nor is
familiarized."]Ahmad, Al-Albaani - Saheeh and itmeets the conditions
stipulated by Muslim[
Allaah The Almighty, the angels and mankind, in general, hate
roughness and harshness. A believer, therefore, should avoid violence,
harshness, frowning, recklessness, ill treatment, undutifulness to
parents and ill thoughts. He should havegentleness, mercy,
righteousness, compassion and forbearance. Purification of the soul
precedes beautifying it.
A Muslim should strive hard to stay away from the causes and forms of
violence. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:
•}He has succeeded who purifies it, And he has failed who instills it
]withcorruption[{]Quran 91:9-10[
•}And those who strive for Us - We will surely guide them to Our ways.
And indeed, Allaah is with the doers of good.{]Quran 29:69[
A slave should resort to Allaah The Almighty and supplicate to Him -
perhaps Allaah The Almighty will guide him to follow the example of
the Prophet. The Prophetwas the most gentle of all people; he was a
smiling person andwould maintain the ties of kinship, help the weak,
support the destitute, serve guests generously and assist those
afflicted with calamities. Allaah The Almighty never fails a person
who adopts such a behavior, as Khadeejah the mother of the
believersstated.
Let us adopt the mannersof the believers, for a believer is simple,
accessible and easy. He submits to the truth, harmonizes with people
and people harmonize with him. Conversely, there is no good in a
person who is rough and harsh: a person who doesnot harmonize with
people, nor do they harmonize with him.