'' Our Lord ! grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter and save us from the torment of the Fire '' [Ameen]
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{in Arab} :->
Rabbanaa aatinaa fid-dunyaa hasanatan wafil aakhirati hasanatan waqinaa 'athaaban-naar/-
(Surah Al-Baqarah ,verse 201)
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assalamualaikom,I am newly embraced in islam and marreid for the 2nd
time to a divorced muslim man.He have 2kids from his 1st wife now
living with us.We dont hve kids of our ownsince 5yrs of merriage.Back
in my christian life b4,i marreidfor the 1st time and hve ason but our
marreige didnt last.Raising my son till he reach the of 6yrs old i
leave him to the costudy of my aunt and decided to work abroad where i
met this divorcedmuslim man.Withouth a doubt i accept his proposal,i
converted and we get marreid.B4 we get marreid,me husband know that i
hve a son.My problem now i about my son.My husband not give me any
help or support for my son and telling methat its forbidden in islam
to support any christian.Me as a mother is too hard to hear that
fact.Rather he keep on telling me to bring my son here with us to live
together which i wanted too but,him as a father,a husband and a man,i
cannot trust my son to him,only reason why i refused to bring my here
with us.He is a hot tempered man and used to beat us,me and his own
kids for just simple mistakes.Not only simple beat but severely
beatingthat i cannot imagine how a man,a father who have fear to ALLAH
can dothat.Please advice me what to do about my son.I insist to my
husband if i can work, so i can send support to my son but he wont let
me..I know wives in islam is not allowed to work. Only at home.,but
what about my case? my son?Me as a mother, it hurts,because its like
im abandoning my own son.....pls advicE me,i want my son to be a
muslim soon inshALLAH...JAZZAKALLAH KHAYRAN
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify
that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad
isHis slave and Messenger.
First of all, we congratulate you upon the blessing of embracing Islam
as this isa great bounty that requires from a person tobe grateful to
Allaah for it. Among being grateful to Allaah for it, is to do allthat
makes you remain firm and steadfast [on this religion], like seeking
beneficial knowledge, performing good deeds and befriending righteous
and pious women.
You should know that thestatement of your husband that it is forbidden
in Islam to support any Christian is a statement that contradicts the
Sharee'ah, as the Sharee'ah permitted us to be kind to the non-Muslims
who are notbelligerent to Muslims; Allaah says (what means):{ Allaah
does not forbid you from those who do not fight you because of
religion and do not expelyou from your homes — from being righteous
toward them and acting justly toward them. Indeed, Allaah loves those
who act justly. } [Quran 60:8]
Also, you should know that a young child is ruled to be a Muslim as
long as one of his parentsis a Muslim. For more benefit, please refer
to Fatwa 81957 .
As regards spending on your son, then it is his father who is
obligated to spend on him, and your husband does not have to spend on
him unless he does so as an act of kindness, in which case he will be
rewarded for doing so. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 86141 .
In case his father is dead or insolvent and is unable to spend on him,
then it is his mother who is obligated to spend on him, as stated by
the jurists . Ibn Qudaamah said: " It is an obligation upon the mother
to spend on her child if he has no father; this is the same view of
Abu Haneefah and Ash-Shaafi'i. If the father is insolvent, then the
mother is obligated to spend on him, and she is entitled to ask his
father to reimburse her when he becomes solvent. "
Therefore, if you have nomoney to spend on him, then it is not an
obligation to endeavor to find work in order to spend on him and it is
not an obligation upon your husband to give youpermission to work.
However, since your husband does not object to your son living with
you, it might be more appropriate for you to accept it and be patient
with your husband so that you will be able to nurture your son and
guide him and educate him in a good manner; this is better than your
son being with his maternal aunt especially if she is a non-Muslim.
On the other hand, a husband is obligated to have good marital
relations with his wife and treat her in kindness;we have already
clarifiedthis in Fataawa 88304 and 86618 .
Indeed, it is a great evil for a husband to harm his wife and his
children and abuse them, as this ismisconduct and bad temperament. So,
you should advise him in a gentle manner and supplicate Allaah to
rectify him. In case you are harmed by staying with him, then you have
the right to ask for divorce, so you should resort to it if you think
that there is more benefitfor you in doing so, otherwise you should be
patient.
Allaah Knows best.
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