Advice for one who suffers from premature ejaculation even though he is using a special du‘aa’.

Dought & clear, - I am a young man who isabout to get married, but I
have a problem, namely premature ejaculation. I know that this is a
problem that will cause me a lot of difficulty when having intercourse
after marriage. At present I am taking steps to deal with this matter
myself by reciting Qur'an. Whengoing to sleep, I place my hand over my
penis and recite al-Faatihah and "And We send downfrom the Quran that
which is a healing and a mercy…" [al-Isra' 17:82] and "And when I am
ill, it is He who cures me" [ash-Shu 'ara' 26:80], each one seven
times, then I say: "I ask Allah, Lord of the Mighty Throne, to heal
me" seven times, then I offer supplication (du'aa'), then I blow on my
penis three times. And every morning – when I am going to work in my
car – I place my hand over my penis and recite the last two verses of
Soorat al-Baqarah, Aayat al-Kursiy, al-Faatihah, al-Mu'awwidhaat, and
Ikhlaas and the two verses I mentioned above, in addition to
thesupplication that I mentioned, then I blow three times on my penis.
I do that three times, then after that I ask Allahto heal me from
this. Is what I am doing something correct or arethere other means or
other verses? I do not want to get married when I am in this state.
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
We do not know how you can suffer from premature ejaculation when you
are not married! Such a thing only becomes apparent after getting
married, sohow can you be suffering from it?
What appears to us to bethe case is that, if this is not something
imaginary that is not really happening, you may have come to know
about it from practising the secret habit! If that isthe case, you
should realise that you have to hasten to stop doing it, for it has
many harmful effects, one of which is that it causes premature
ejaculation merely as a result of the penis touching something
provocative.
Shaykh 'Abd al-'Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allah havemercy on him) said: It
is medically proven that masturbation leads to a number of diseases.
For example, it weakens the eyesight and reduces sharpness of vision
to a great extent. It also weakens the penis so that it becomes
partially or completely flaccid, in such a way that the one who does
that becomes more like a woman because he loses the most important
characteristic of manhood with which Allah has favoured men over
women. Thus he is unable to get married and if it so happens that he
does get married, he is not able to perform his marital function in
the manner required, so it is inevitable that his wife will look at
other men, because he is not able to keep her chaste. And that has
negative consequences as is quite obvious.
It also leads to nervous weakness in general as aresult of the
exhaustion that results from doing that action. And it leads to
problems in the digestive system, leadingto poor digestion. It also
leads to stunted growth, especially in the penis and testicles, which
do not grow to their full natural size. And it leads to infection in
the testicles, so that the individual develops the problem of
premature ejaculation, as he ejaculates if something merely brushes
against his penis.
Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/122, 123
You should not be anxious about this matter. As we have told you, if
the cause is doingthe secret habit, there is the hope that when you
give it up, Allah will make things easy for youand this symptom will
nolonger be present after you get married. If it does continue after
marriage, then you are advised not to go ahead with penetration until
you have engaged in foreplay and pleasure with your wife, and aroused
her, so that when she reaches climax, you can penetrate after that, so
as to keep yourself and her chaste. But do not overdo it either with
regard to foreplay, because that may be oneof the causes of premature
ejaculation.
If that does not work, then you can consult a specialist doctor who
can tell you about medicines to delay ejaculation. Perhaps when you
get used to sex, especially after the initial period, this problem
will go away without any need for medicine. It is well known that the
one whohas been unmarried for a long time will have intercourse many
times a day when he first gets married and he may ejaculate quickly,
but it will not be long before things settle down.
There are da'eef hadeeths which suggest that it is mustahabb for the
husband to engage in foreplay with his wife before penetration, and
warn against satisfying his desire without making sure that she is
also satisfied. Although the isnaads are da'eef, the meaning is
acceptable and they offer good advice in thatregard.
Ibn Qudaamah al-Maqdisi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
It is mustahabb to engage in foreplay with one's wife before
intercourse, so as to arouse her and so that she will get the same
pleasure from intercourse as he does. Itwas narrated from 'Umaribn
'Abd al-'Azeez from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) that he said: "Do not have intercoursewith her until she is
aroused as you are, lest you finish before she finishes." I [the
narrator]said: Are you telling me? He said: "Yes; you should kiss her
and touch her, until you see that she is aroused as you are, thenhave
intercourse with her."
If he reaches climax before she does, it is not right for him to
withdraw until she reaches climax, because of the report narrated by
Anas ibn Maalik who said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace
of Allah be upon him) said: "When a man has intercourse with his wife,
let him pay proper attention to her. Then when he has fulfilled his
desire, he should not withdraw from her until she has fulfilled her
desire." And because that may be harmful to her and prevent her from
fulfilling her desire.
Al-Mughni, 8/136
Both hadeeths are da'eef (weak), but they are correct in meaning, as
we stated above.
Al-Mannaawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
"When one of you has intercourse with his wife, let him pay proper
attention to her" i.e., let him have intercourse with her
energetically and vigorously, doing it properly and with love and
sincerity towards her. This is what is recommended.
"If he finishes before her" i.e., if he reaches climax first and she
is still aroused.
"He should not withdraw from her" i.e., before she reaches climax and
fulfils her desire; rather he should give her time so that shecould
fulfil her desire as he fulfilled his desire. So he should not move
away from her until he iscertain that she has fulfilled her desire,
because that is part of kind treatment, keeping her chaste and being
considerate towards her.
From this hadeeth and others we learn that if the man is quick to
reach climax, such that he cannot give his wife time to reach climax,
it isrecommended for him toseek treatment that will delay ejaculation,
because this is a means of doing something recommended, and means come
under the same ruling as ends.
Fayd al-Qadeer, 1/325
Secondly:
With regard to the du'aa's that you are reciting as a remedy, what is
sound of that is what is proven to be sound in the saheeh Sunnah.
Anything other than that it is permissible to use, but on condition
that you donot make it a regular wird as one may do withthe dhikrs
narrated fromthe Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him).
With regard to your reciting the verses "And We send down from the
Quran that which is a healing and a mercy…" [al-Isra' 17:82] and "And
when I am ill, it is He who cures me" [ash-Shu 'ara' 26:80], there is
nothing wrong with that, although it would be better to treat yourself
by reciting that which is narrated from the Prophet (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) and to treat yourself with ruqyah as
narrated from him.
We have discussed what is proven of such du'aa's in the answer to
question no. 75399 . Thatshould be sufficient and good, in sha Allah.
With regard to placing your hand over the private part or touching it
whilst reciting the ruqyah and the Qur'anic verses it contains, we do
not think that you should do that; we are afraid that using the Qur'an
in this manner may be disrespectful. Moreover, the problem that you
mention is not an obvious sickness suchthat you could do that when
treating it with ruqyah. Even if it is a sickness, the sickness is not
in the private part, as you think and because of that you havebeen
using the ruqyah that you mention. Ratherit is, as is proven, a
problem that is rooted inyour nervous system thatcannot control
ejaculation in the normal manner.
To sum up, we do not advise you to delay marriage in order to solve
this problem; the real situation will not become clear until after you
get married. Perhaps it is imaginary or an excess of desire, because
you are unmarried, and it will soon disappear after youget married. If
it so happens that the problem remains, then you can use some
appropriate medical treatment after consulting a specialist.
And Allah knows best.