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Thursday, January 17, 2013

Dought & clear - , She became Muslim but her husband did not;is it allowed for her not to stop living with him because of his poor health and her financial situation?.

for the past 6 years, alhamdulillah. I came to Islam after almost 20
years of marriage. My son who is 11 years old is also a Muslim. I am
bringing him up under the teachings of Islam. However, his father is
not a Muslim and I know that according to Shariah Law my marriege was
broken from the moment that I took my shahadah. HIs father does not
practice any religion and he doesnot want to learn about Islam. We
still live in the same house but we stopped sharing the same bed for a
long time.We dont have intimacy at all. My son's father is also a
disable due a car accident years back. We share the samehouse but I
deal with him more as a caregiver.I think many times aboutliving this
house so I could have more freedom to practice my religion,including
wearing the hijab when I go out with him, but I don't have the courage
to leave him because of his condition and I also can't support myself.
My parents are poor and I don't have much education and I also worry
about my son. Please send me an advice concerning this situation and
tell me if isa major sin for me not togo out with a hijab with my
husband when he forced me not to do it. I wear the full hijab all the
time when I am alone, but once I stepped out of the housewith him, he
tells me to removed it.
Praise be to Allaah.
We praise Allah for having blessed you with Islam, and we ask Him
tomake us and you steadfast in adhering to His true religion.
If a woman becomes Muslim and her husband refuses to become Muslim,
she is not permissible for him because Allah says (interpretation of
the meaning):
"then if you ascertain that they are true believers send them not back
to the disbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers
nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them"
[al-Mumtahanah 60:10].
Al-Shawkaani (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The words of Allah, "They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers
nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them" explain the
reason why it is forbidden to send them back. This indicatesthat a
believing woman is not permissible for a kaafir and that if the woman
becomes Muslim she must leave her husband. End quote.
Fath al-Qadeer, 5/301
So it is not permissible for a Muslim woman to remain married to a
kaafir under any circumstances whatsoever. Rather they should be
separated as soon as she becomes Muslim, then she should wait until
her 'iddah ends. If he becomes Muslim during the 'iddah, that they
remain married, but if the 'iddah ends and he has not become Muslim,
she becomes irrevocably divorced from him and she may marry someone
else if she wishes, or she may wait until he becomes Muslim.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:What is indicated by
the ruling of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
is that the marriage is suspended. If he becomes Muslim before the end
of her 'iddah, then she is still his wife, but if her 'iddah ends,
then she may marry whomever she wants, orif she likes she may wait for
him, then if he becomes Muslim, she is still his wife without anyneed
for a new marriagecontract. End quote.
Zaad al-Ma'aad, 5/137
As you say that you became Muslim six years ago, you became
irrevocably divorced from him a long time ago. So you have to leave
him immediately and it is not permissible for you to stay with him
under any circumstances. And you have to seek forgivenessand repent to
Allah, may He be exalted.
It is not permissible for you to serve him and take care of him when
Islam has separated you, especially since he -- in addition to being a
disbeliever -- hates religion and despises hijab and tells you to take
it off. How can you feel that you and your religious commitment are
safe when you are with him?
The Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas was asked about a Christian
woman who was elderly,as was her husband. She became Muslim but he did
not, and there was no sexual relationship between them. Is it
permissible for her to stay with him or should the marriage be
annulled?
They replied:
If a Christian woman becomes Muslim and sheis the wife of a Christian
man, the marriage contract is annulled. Based on that, it is not
permissible for her to stay with him even if they are old and have
nosexual relationship. End quote.
Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa'imah, 19/16-17
The fact that you are poor and have no work does not make it
permissible to you to stay in the same house as a non-Muslim man.
Think positively of Allah, may He be exalted, for He is the One Who
says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Allaah will grant after hardship, ease"
[al-Talaaq 65:7].
Al-Sa'di (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
This is glad tidings to those who are in difficulty, that Allah will
grant them relief from their hardship and take away their
difficulties. End quote.
Tafseer al-Sa'di, p. 871
And Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a
way for him to get out (from every difficulty).
3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And
whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him. Verily,
Allaah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allaah has set a measure
for all things"
[al-Talaaq 65:2-3].
Imam Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) debated with a
Christian scholar until the truth became clear to him, but he
refrained from entering Islam on the grounds that the Christians
venerated himand he said: I do not know any trade and I have not
memorized anyQur'aan or grammar or fiqh. If I become Muslim Iwill go
around the marketplaces begging from people. Who could agree to that?
Ibn al-Qayyim said: That will not happen! How can you think of Allah
that if you give precedence to pleasing Him over your whims and
desires He would humiliate you and make you in need ofothers? Even if
we assume that that will befall you, what you have attained of truth
and salvation from the Fire and from the wrath and anger of Allah will
be the most complete compensation for what you have lost. End quote.
Hidaayat al-Hayaara, p. 119
Your son should treat hisfather kindly and serve him and help him as
much as he can. That is his father's right over him, even if he (the
father) continues to follow his present religion. Strive to call him
to Islam, for that willbe better for both of you, so that the family
will not be divided. Tell him that Islam forbids you to stay with him,
and that there is no solution to this problem except his becoming
Muslim.
We ask Allah to guide and help you all.

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