'' Our Lord ! grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter and save us from the torment of the Fire '' [Ameen]
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{in Arab} :->
Rabbanaa aatinaa fid-dunyaa hasanatan wafil aakhirati hasanatan waqinaa 'athaaban-naar/-
(Surah Al-Baqarah ,verse 201)
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Every New Year lots of people make promises to themselves and do their
best to keep them but studies have shown that most people fail to keep
New Year's resolutions.
Why do most New Year resolutions fail?
Why can't someone keep a promise that he gave to himself?
Why can't a person stick to something that is very important to his well being?
Why do people fail to stick to very simple tasks such as running 15
minutes a day?
In this article I will tell you the secret behind the failure of New
Year's promises and I will tell youhow to keep New Year
resolutionsthroughout the year.
Why do most new year resolutions fail
In order to know how to keep New Year's resolutions you must first
know why people fail to keep them. Here is a list of the reasons:
*.The Goal was chosen because of peer pressure:Lots of people choose
goals because of the pressure exerted on them by their peers. Some
people want to exercise because they saw their friends exercising or
because someone kept pushing them to do so. ( See how peer pressure
affects you)
*.The subconscious mind isn't convinced:Lots of people want to make
changes to their lives but a part of them may be resisting the change.
For example a person might want to wake up earlybut deep inside him
there is a part that enjoys staying up late. Unless this part is dealt
with he will never manage to sleep early
*.The promise involves changing a symptom not a cause:A person might
promise himself to stop overeatingwithout knowing that the main reason
he eats a lot is the emotional turbulence he suffers from. If that
person eats when he becomes depressed or stressed then his goal should
be modified to helping himself deal with these root causes instead of
dealing with the symptoms.
*.Not understanding his unmet needs:unmet needs are usually the main
driving forces behind our actions. In my book The ultimate guide to
break any bad habiti said that If you have a certain unmet need that
you are satisfying through a certain behavior then unless you find an
alternative way to satisfy this unmet need you won't be able to get
rid of the behavior. For example some people smoke to feel in control,
if they didn't find another way to feel in control then they will
never be able to quit smoking
*.Loss of hope:Loss of hope is one of the most common reasons for
failing to commit to new Year's resolutions. When the progress appears
to be insufficient after a certain amount of time has passed the
person losses hope and stops trying
*.Not understanding that they don't have to make it from the first
try:If a person decided that he won't drink in the new year then did
it once he might lose hope and think that he failed!!
How to stick to New Year's resolutions and keep them
After you understood the main reasons behind the failure of New Year's
resolutions here is a quick plan that can help you avoid those
reasons:
*.Set goals that you really want to achieve:Choose a Goal that you
really want instead of a one that is based on friends expectations
*.Resolve inner conflict:Learn how to convince all parts of your
subconscious mind with the new Year's resolution. This can be achieved
by getting a deeper understanding of your conflicting needs then
taking a conscious decision that helps you make a compromise (see
Becoming happier by understanding your unmet needs)
*.Differentiate between symptoms and root causes:If you lose your
temper because of feelings of resentmentthat results from jealousy
then dealing with jealousy should be your goal and not anger
management
*.Understand your unmet needs and provide alternative ways for meeting
them:If you are an internet addict who wishes to reduce the use of
computers then fix your social life first if socializing was the
reason you overuse the internet
*.You might fail many times before you succeed:Don't put high hopes by
thinking that you will succeeded from the first attempt else your new
year's resolutions will fail
In short keeping New year's resolutions is all about getting a deep
understanding of your behavior and needs then setting them in the
light of this information.
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