Marriage Contract, - * She became Muslim but her parents did not and they are objecting to her marriage and they want her to have illegitimate relationships! What should she do?

I embraced Islam – praise be to Allah – and now I want to keep myself chaste, but my parents think that the most suitable age of marriage is not until twenty-five or preferably twenty-eight. Even worse than that, one of them thinks that there is nothing wrong with friendship and relationships outside of marriage – Allah forbid. The matter is extremely difficult and I do not know how to talk to them about this matter. I want to keep myself chaste; I want to marry a man who will help me to adhere to my religion, a man who will stand beside me and help me, a man who will live with me, because I am living far away from my parents. They are divorced and each one lives in a different city. I do not know how to explain these details to them in order to convince them that I should get married early; rather they think that getting married at an early age is something that is not appropriate. I am the only daughter of my parents, hence I do not want to disobey them and I do not want to upset them; I do not want them to forsake me either. I want at least to do the marriage contract, then delay consummation until Allah wills.
My questions are:
1. Is it permissible for me to do the marriage contract but delay marriage and the waleemah (wedding feast) and consummation for five years, for example?
2. Do I have to repeat the marriage contract in front of my family later on and pretend that I was not married? Or is that regarded as coming under the heading of lying? I hope you can advise me because I do not know what to do.
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Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
We congratulate you for embracing Islam and we ask Allah to make you steadfast in it and to guide your parents and your family to Islam, for He is the Most Generous.
Secondly:
If a woman becomes Muslim but her family do not, they do not have any guardianship or authority over her.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The kaafir does not have any guardianship over a Muslim woman under any circumstances, according to the consensus of the scholars, including Maalik, ash-Shaafa‘i, Abu ‘Ubayd and ashaab ar-ra’y. Ibn al-Mundhir said: All of the scholars from whom we acquired knowledge unanimously agreed on this.
End quote fromal-Mughni, 9/377
Based on that, your father has no guardianship over you with regard to marriage and guardianship moves to the closest of your male relatives (‘usbah, i.e., male relatives on the father’s side, such as the grandfather, brother or paternal uncle). If you do not have any Muslim relatives, the director of the Islamic Centre or the imam of the mosque may give you in marriage.
Thirdly:
If your family are not convinced about you getting married, and you fear that getting married without their permission will result in negative consequences, such as severing of family ties or a reaction from your family against Islam, the imam of the mosque or the director of the Islamic Centre may give you in marriage without your parents’ knowledge, and you can delay the consummation, waleemah and wedding party until you are able to convince them.
If you are not able to convince them within a short time and you fear for yourself if you remain without a husband, then you can go ahead with the marriage and your husband can consummate the marriage with you in accordance with shar‘i rulings, but without your parents knowing about it. Then if they find out about your relationship with your husband, you can give them the impression that he is your boyfriend and so on, because the husband is a friend of his wife, and thus you can conceal the true nature of your situation from them.
Whenever you are able to convince them, there is nothing wrong with repeating the marriage rituals in front of them superficially, so as to ward off their harm from yourself or prevent them from cutting you off.
And Allah knows best.

Marriage Contract, - * Ruling on doing the marriage contract over the phone or Internet

Is it valid to do the marriage contract over a WebCam? Because I heard that it is not permissible as one of the conditions of marriage is that it should be done in one place?
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Praise be to Allah.
The proposal (eejaab) and acceptance (qubool) form one of the pillars or essential parts of the marriage contract, without which it is not valid. The proposal is said by the wali (guardian) or his proxy and the acceptance is said by the husband or his proxy.
It is stipulated that the proposal and acceptance should come in one sitting. It says inKashshaaf al-Qinaa‘(5/41): If there is a lapse of time between the proposal and acceptance, it is valid so long as both are done in the same gathering and there is no distraction that would count as an interruption according to local custom, even if the interval between the two is lengthy. But if they part before the acceptance is spoken after the proposal has been issued, then the proposal becomes invalid. The same applies if there is a distraction that interrupts the proceedings according to local custom, because that is turning away from it and it is as if the proposal had been rejected. End quote.
Similarly, it is also stipulated that witnesses be present in order for the marriage contract to be valid.
Based on that, the scholars differed with regard to doing the marriage contract by using modern needs such as the telephone and the Internet. Some of them say that that is not permissible, because of the absence of witnesses, even though the presence of two witnesses on the phone at the same time comes under the same ruling as if they were in the same place. This is the view of the Islamic Fiqh Council (Majma‘ al-Fiqh al-Islami).
Some of the scholars are of the view that this should be disallowed, as a precaution to protect the marriage, because it is possible to imitate a person’s voice and thus deceive others. This is what is stated in fatwas issued by the Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas.
Some of the scholars regard it as permissible so long as there is no risk of tampering. This is what was stated in fatwas issued by Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him).
Thus it is known that the problem is not the issue of being the same place, because contact between both parties at the same time via the phone or Internet comes under the same ruling as if they were in the same place.
It is also possible for this marriage contract to be witnessed, by hearing the voice of the speaker over the phone or Internet; in fact with technological advances nowadays it is possible to see the wali and hear his voice when he makes the proposal, and it is also possible to see the husband.
Hence the most correct view with regard to this matter is that it is permissible to do the marriage contract over the phone or Internet, if there is no danger of tampering, the identity of the husband and wali is proven, and the two witnesses can hear the proposal and acceptance. This is what was stated in fatwas issued by Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him), as stated above. It is also what is implied by the fatwa of the Standing Committee, which disallowed marriage in such cases as a precaution and for fear of deceit.
The one who wants to be on the safe side may do the marriage contract by appointing proxies; so the husband or guardian may appoint someone to do the marriage contract on his behalf in front of witnesses.
There follow the comments of scholars that confirm what we have referred to:
1. Statement of the Islamic Fiqh Council:
Statement no. 52 (6/2) concerning the ruling on contracts via modern needs of communication.
After stating that it is permissible to do contracts via modern means of communication, the Council said:
The guidelines mentioned above do not apply to the marriage contract, because of the stipulation that witnesses be present in that case. End quote.
2. Fatwa of the Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas:
Question: if the pillars or essential parts and conditions of the marriage contract are fulfilled, except that the wali and the husband are in different countries, is it permissible to do the marriage contract by phone or not?
Answer: because nowadays deceit and trickery are widespread, and some people are skilled at imitating others, and some are able to make their voice sound like a number of people, male and female, young and old, and even speak different dialects and languages, so that the listener thinks that several people are speaking when in fact it is only one person, and because Islamic sharee‘ah is concerned with protecting people’s chastity and honour, and takes more precautions than other religions with regard to contracts and dealings, the Committee thinks that it is not appropriate, with regard to marriage contracts, the proposal and acceptance, and appointing proxies, to handle such matters over the phone. This is in order to achieve the aims of sharee‘ah and protect people’s chastity and honour, so that those who follow whims and desires and those that seek to deceive and cheat people will not be able to toy with matters of marriage. And Allah is the source of strength.
End quote fromFataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa’imah, 18/90
3. Fatwa of Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him)
Question:
I want to get married to a girl and her father is in another country; at present I cannot travel to meet him and do the marriage contract, for financial or other reasons. I am currently in a foreign country. Is it permissible for me to call her father so that he can say to me, “I give you my daughter So and so in marriage,” and I can say, “I accept.” The girl agrees to the marriage and there are two Muslim witnesses who can listen to what I say and what he says, via the speakers on the phone. Is this regarded as a legitimate marriage contract?
Answer:
The website put this question to Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn ‘Abdullah ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) and he replied that if what is described is true (and there is no tampering involved), then it fulfils the conditions of shar‘i marriage and the marriage contract is valid.
And Allah knows best.

Marriage

Invalid Marriages, - * A Christian man married to a Muslim woman wants to help her to fast

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It may be a strange question to you as you probably would have much to criticize about my wife and me- starting with the fact that we are together in the first place -but still I dearly appreciate your practical advice and guidance for that most holy month.

My Muslim wife and I live in the West, I was born here and Im a Christian. We met in Dubai 4yrs ago and got married 1.5 yrs ago, and this is my wifes 1st yr away from home and her family during Ramadan. She enjoys life in the West and found a balance between her tradition and religion and the Western way of life. We're in love and very happy how we live. However,during Ramadan,she is really struggling with the culture because although people are understanding, the whole environment is just not well suited to Muslims in this period (e.g. everyone eating during lunch break).I try to support her as much as I can and would like to know what else I can do to help. Here's what I already do:

-no alcohol (ever)

-no pork (ever)

-fast with her during Ramadan

-I don't go out/appointments during the month to be at home with her

-no visitors during the month I know the environment is difficult for her in this time, and I suggested that in the next years she should go to Dubai and her family during Ramadan.Is this reasonable, or do you think she can manage to celebrate Ramadan as it should be, even while being here?Pls bear in mind she has no family here.

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Praise be to Allah

Yes, the matter is indeed strange as you said.

But what is strange is not merely the fact that a Christian man has married a Muslim woman, even though this marriage is definitively prohibited in Islam, according to scholarly consensus. That is not the only strange thing about this case, for the Shaytaan deceives many of the children of Adam, until he causes them to fall into something that is even more abhorrent than that.

What is even stranger is your concern to ask about such a thing, you and your wife, or – to be more precise – your concern to help your wife in such a matter, which is indicative of your great care for her and your desire that she be happy, when you do not care about the most serious aspect of the relationship between you.

What we mean is the basis of this invalid relationship between you, which is fundamentally wrong.

Therefore we will address you directly, as you are the one who has asked us and you are the one who is responsible for this grievous mistake, and tell you that it is not permissible for you or for this woman to continue in this relationship at all, not even for a single hour. Rather what you must do is separate, for she is not your wife and is not permissible for you, and you are not permissible for her so long as you remain a Christian.

Regardless of whether you spend Ramadan in the east or in the west, in Dubai, or in the city of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), or in Berlin, none of that will change the matter in the slightest, and will not fix the basic flaw in the relationship between you.

Rather you must separate.

Then once you have separated, it is not permissible for you to go back to her unless you truly seek Islam because it is the final religion of Allah, that He loves for His slaves and wants from them.

Therefore we call upon you – as you are keen to make your wife happy and make things easy for her – to leave her immediately, because her staying with you means that she will lose out a great deal in religious terms, which would result in misery for her in this world and the hereafter, if Allah does not shower her with His forgiveness and mercy. Then you must spend some time reading about Islam and learning more about it. The Islamic centres in your country can help you with that.

If Allah opens your heart to Islam and you become Muslim, then in that case there would be no impediment to you marrying her with a new marriage contract, in accordance with the teachings of Islam, whenever you both want to do that.

Then you can begin your married life with sincere repentance that will erase the errors that came before it, for Allah, may He be exalted, forgives those who repent and turn back to Him, no matter what sins they committed before that.

We ask Allah, may He be exalted, to guide you to the truth.

And Allah knows best.

♣ • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • ♣

Invalid Marriages, - * A Christian man married to a Muslim woman wants to help her to fast

Share ::-

It may be a strange question to you as you probably would have much to criticize about my wife and me- starting with the fact that we are together in the first place -but still I dearly appreciate your practical advice and guidance for that most holy month.
My Muslim wife and I live in the West, I was born here and Im a Christian. We met in Dubai 4yrs ago and got married 1.5 yrs ago, and this is my wifes 1st yr away from home and her family during Ramadan. She enjoys life in the West and found a balance between her tradition and religion and the Western way of life. We're in love and very happy how we live. However,during Ramadan,she is really struggling with the culture because although people are understanding, the whole environment is just not well suited to Muslims in this period (e.g. everyone eating during lunch break).I try to support her as much as I can and would like to know what else I can do to help. Here's what I already do:
-no alcohol (ever)
-no pork (ever)
-fast with her during Ramadan
-I don't go out/appointments during the month to be at home with her
-no visitors during the month I know the environment is difficult for her in this time, and I suggested that in the next years she should go to Dubai and her family during Ramadan.Is this reasonable, or do you think she can manage to celebrate Ramadan as it should be, even while being here?Pls bear in mind she has no family here.
-
Praise be to Allah
Yes, the matter is indeed strange as you said.
But what is strange is not merely the fact that a Christian man has married a Muslim woman, even though this marriage is definitively prohibited in Islam, according to scholarly consensus. That is not the only strange thing about this case, for the Shaytaan deceives many of the children of Adam, until he causes them to fall into something that is even more abhorrent than that.
What is even stranger is your concern to ask about such a thing, you and your wife, or – to be more precise – your concern to help your wife in such a matter, which is indicative of your great care for her and your desire that she be happy, when you do not care about the most serious aspect of the relationship between you.
What we mean is the basis of this invalid relationship between you, which is fundamentally wrong.
Therefore we will address you directly, as you are the one who has asked us and you are the one who is responsible for this grievous mistake, and tell you that it is not permissible for you or for this woman to continue in this relationship at all, not even for a single hour. Rather what you must do is separate, for she is not your wife and is not permissible for you, and you are not permissible for her so long as you remain a Christian.
Regardless of whether you spend Ramadan in the east or in the west, in Dubai, or in the city of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), or in Berlin, none of that will change the matter in the slightest, and will not fix the basic flaw in the relationship between you.
Rather you must separate.
Then once you have separated, it is not permissible for you to go back to her unless you truly seek Islam because it is the final religion of Allah, that He loves for His slaves and wants from them.
Therefore we call upon you – as you are keen to make your wife happy and make things easy for her – to leave her immediately, because her staying with you means that she will lose out a great deal in religious terms, which would result in misery for her in this world and the hereafter, if Allah does not shower her with His forgiveness and mercy. Then you must spend some time reading about Islam and learning more about it. The Islamic centres in your country can help you with that.
If Allah opens your heart to Islam and you become Muslim, then in that case there would be no impediment to you marrying her with a new marriage contract, in accordance with the teachings of Islam, whenever you both want to do that.
Then you can begin your married life with sincere repentance that will erase the errors that came before it, for Allah, may He be exalted, forgives those who repent and turn back to Him, no matter what sins they committed before that.
We ask Allah, may He be exalted, to guide you to the truth.
And Allah knows best.