Marriage Contract, - * Her mother wants her to marry one suitor, but her father thinks that he is not suitable; what should she do?

My Mum wants me to get married to someone who my Father thinks isnt good for me and as you know men are the head of the family and I want my dad to choose my life-partner than my mum so is this right?
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Praise be to Allah.
Allah, may He be exalted, has given authority in the matter of marriage to the man, so it is not permissible for a woman to arrange a marriage for herself or for anyone else; rather her marriage must be arranged by a wali or guardian. Women have nothing to do with guardianship in marriage; rather that is only for men, and is basically for the father, who takes precedence over others in arranging the marriages of his daughters.
Imam Abu Bakr al-Qaffaal ash-Shaashi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The reason being – and Allah knows best –that women have a natural inclination towards men and they are not able to judge people well, and that could lead them to choose one who is not an appropriate choice (for marriage),therefore Allah entrusted the woman’s case, with regard to her marriage, to her father. If the matter had been entrusted to her, there would be the fear that she might marry someone who is not compatible with her.
End quote from Mahaasin ash-Sharee‘ah, 247. See also the answer to question no. 2127
If the father has the right to guardianship in the case of marriage, and the marriage contract cannot be done without him, then it is only logical that his opinion should take precedence in the matter of choosing a husband for his daughter, especially when he in most cases will be better able to judge their character, thus he will be able to find out about the suitor and reach the right conclusion.
But that does not mean that the mother has no say in choosing a husband for her daughter; rather she should be consulted about the matter and her opinion should be taken into consideration, because perhaps it may be correct and some things may be apparent to her that are not apparent to her husband.
To sum up:
The basic principle is that the father’s opinion and choice takes precedence over that of the mother, but that does not mean that the mother’s opinion should be ignored altogether; rather it should be taken into consideration so so that she does not feel left out and to convince her of the father’s point of view, and that he is responsible with regard to their daughter’s marriage. Thus the choice is up to your father, especially if he is known to be of sound reasoning, but he should not make her feel left out; rather he should respect her opinion.
And Allah knows best.

Marriage Contract, - * Rulings having to do with divorce before consummation of the marriage

I hope that you can help me with the following, because I am confused about my situation. I was divorced before consummation of the marriage. After getting some opinions, according to the majority of opinions that I found, I have to observe ‘iddah and receive my mahr in full, because we were alone together and some intimacy happened between us, but my husband refused to believe that. Then we got married a second time with a new marriage contract and mahr a few months ago, ma sha Allah. But my husband went to study fiqh and one of the shaykhs told him: if you divorce the sister before consummation of the marriage, then she will be haraam for you like one who is divorced three times. So my husband refused to consummate the marriage with me, saying that he wants to think about it and be sure that the marriage will be successful, and that before that I have to lose some weight, and that he will not have intercourse with me unless that happens. We have been married for approximately four months, ma sha Allah, but if consummation has not happened up till now, do we have to separate? He also asked me to give up some of my rights at present, and he also agreed to some conditions, but now he is saying that he intends to go back on the agreement, saying that it was only verbal, and that it should have been written in the marriage contract in order to be valid. Is it permissible for him to do that? What is the state of my marriage?
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Praise be to Allah
Firstly:
It would have been better for you and your husband to refer what happened between you of matters having to do with marriage, divorce, the mahr and ‘iddah before deciding whether to end the marriage or carry on with it, to a shaykh near you, or to an Islamic centre run by people who you trust, or to wait until you asked someone whom you trusted, even if that was someone far away. You should not have taken the rulings on these issues from people or from a lesson given by a shaykh in a mosque. This is the advice that we always give to spouses who have problems, and we advise them to refer matters of marriage and divorce only to an Islamic judge (qaadi) or to one who plays the same role in countries where there is no Islamic legal system.
Secondly:
With regard to divorce before consummation of the marriage, the following details apply:
1.
If a divorce is issued to the wife before consummation of the marriage and without having been completely alone together in such a manner that consummation of the marriage would have been possible, then she does not have to observe ‘iddah, and she is entitled to half of the mahr that was agreed upon. If no mahr was agreed upon, then she is entitled to some payment, according to how well off he is. And he cannot take her back except with a new marriage contract and mahr.
Please see the answers to questions no. 75026and 99597.
2.
If a divorce is issued to the wife before consummation of the marriage but they have been completely alone together in such a manner that consummation of the marriage was possible, then the majority of Hanafi, Maaliki, Shaafa‘i (according to the earlier view of their madhhab) and Hanbali scholars are of the view that she must observe ‘iddah and she is entitled to the mahr in full. As far as taking her back is concerned, the majority of Hanafi, Maaliki and Shaafa‘i scholars are of the view that he cannot take her back except with a new marriage contract and mahr.
Please see the answers to questions no. 49821and 118557.
3.
As you (re)married in that manner – i.e., with a new marriage contract and mahr – then at present you are a wife to him according to sharee‘ah, and he is your husband; the marriage contract between you is valid, with all its shar‘i implications, and it is not permissible for either of you to undermine any of its conditions, if the conditions are Islamically acceptable. Moreover, it is not permissible for him to ask you to give up some of your rights, unless you do that willingly, not as a result of compulsion or embarrassment.
It was narrated from ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir (may Allah be pleased with him) that he said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The conditions that most deserve to be fulfilled are those by means of which intimacy becomes permissible for you.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2572; Muslim, 1418.
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The words “those by means of which intimacy becomes permissible for you” mean: The conditions that most deserve to be fulfilled are the conditions of marriage.
End quote fromFath al-Baari, 9/217
For more details on conditions in the marriage contract, please see the answers to questions no. 10343, 49666and 20757
Thirdly:
It is not permissible for the husband to go back on the conditions that he agreed upon with his wife or her guardian, whether the conditions were stated verbally or in writing. If the conditions were not recorded in the marriage contract, then they are still binding on him before his Lord, may He be exalted, even if they are not legally binding. Please see the answer to question no. 126855.
To sum up:
1.
Your first marriage ended with a valid, Islamically acceptable divorce. As it happened before consummation of the marriage and after being alone with him in such a manner that he could have consummated the marriage, then you are entitled to the mahr in full, and you have to observe ‘iddah, and you cannot go back to him except with a new marriage contract and mahr.
2.
Your going back to your husband with a new marriage contract and mahr is valid, whether you were completely alone with him or not. Hence your second marriage contract is valid with all its shar‘i implications, and you both have to fulfil the Islamically acceptable and permissible conditions stipulated by both of you, whether they were stated verbally or in writing.
We ask Allah to guide your husband to that which He loves and is pleased with, and to guide him to adhere to what we have mentioned of rulings. If he does not agree with what we have mentioned here, then we advise you to take your case to the director of the nearest Islamic centre, or to someone near you whose knowledge and religious commitment you trust. There is nothing wrong with asking some sincere people to intervene, especially if they are from your family or his, to bring about reconciliation between you.
And Allah knows best.

Invalid Marriages, - * A Muslim woman is in love with a Christian man and wants to marry him

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I am a Muslim girl, twenty years old, and I am in love with a foreign Christian man who does not speak Arabic. Is it permissible for me to marry a Christian man, if my religious commitment is safe and I am confident that this will not affect my Islam? If the answer is no, then how can I call him to Islam, and do you have any organisations for calling people to Islam so that I can tell him to join you?
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Praise be to Allah
The Muslims are unanimously agreed that it is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim, whether he is Jewish, Christian or anything else, because Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater, etc.), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allah invites (you) to Paradise and Forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember”
[al-Baqarah 2:221]
“…then if you ascertain that they are true believers, send them not back to the disbelievers, they are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them”
[al-Mumtahanah 60:10].
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The Muslims are agreed that a non-Muslim cannot inherit from a Muslim, and a non-Muslim man cannot marry a Muslim woman.
End quote fromal-Fataawa al-Kubra(3/130).
Moreover, “Islam is to prevail and is not to be prevailed over,” as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said.
Narrated by ad-Daaraqutni; classed as hasan by al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Jaami‘(no. 2778)
The man is in a position of leadership over the woman, and it is not permissible for a non-Muslim to be in a position of leadership over a Muslim woman, because Islam is the true religion and all other religions are false.
If a Muslim woman marries a non-Muslim man, knowing the ruling thereon, then she is a zaaniyah and is subject to the hadd punishment for zina. If she was unaware of the ruling, then she is excused, but they must be separated, with no need for talaaq (divorce), because the marriage is invalid in the first place.
Based on that, the Muslim woman whom Allah has honoured with Islam and her guardian must beware of that and adhere to the limits set by Allah, and be proud of being Muslims. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Whosoever desires honour, power and glory then to Allah belong all honour, power and glory (and one can get honour, power and glory only by obeying and worshipping Allah (Alone))”
[Faatir 35:10].
We advise this woman to end her relationship with that Christian man, because it is not permissible for a woman to form a relationship with a man who is a non-mahram to her. This has been discussed previously in the answer to question no. 23349
But if he chooses to become Muslim willingly and voluntarily, then there is nothing wrong with her marrying him, if her guardian agrees to that.
However, we advise what the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) instructed, which is that she should choose for herself someone who is religiously committed and of good character.
We ask Allah, may He be exalted, to set her affairs straight and guide her.

Invalid Marriages, - * She got married in a tahleel marriage and he divorced her, but now she wants to remain with the second husband

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I married a man just to make tahlil because i was divorced 3 Times by my first husband,so i married the second to make me licit for the first. So WE make this marriage and then we divorced but when i divorced this second man i réalised that i wanted to return with the second one again(the one with who i make the marriage tahlil). So i want to know if it is permissible to make a new marriage with a man whith who i decided to make tahlil but after the divorce WE want to return together. Is it haram or is he considered as a muhalil if he return with me even if WE change pour intention? Doez this intention still remain when WE make a new marriage after this marriage of tahlil and can WE have a chance to renew pour intention after making tawba ? And concerning the first husband for who i wanted to make this tahlil in order to return with him,is he considered as a muhalil lahu all his life if one day he marry me even if he repents and even if i marry again the second one after tawba and this second make tawba too?
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Praise be to Allah
Firstly:
If a man divorces his wife with a third talaaq, she does not become permissible for him until she has married another husband in a genuine marriage, not a tahleel marriage [a short-term marriage solely for the purpose of making it permissible for the woman to go back to her first husband], then he dies, leaving her a widow, or he divorces her, because Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And if he has divorced her (the third time), then she is not lawful unto him thereafter until she has married another husband”
[al-Baqarah 2:230].
Al-Bukhaari (2639) and Muslim (1433) narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) that the wife of Rifaa‘ah came to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and said: I was married to Rifaa‘ah, then he divorced me and made the divorce irrevocable. Then I married ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn al-Zubayr. He said: “Do you want to go back to Rifaa‘ah? No, not until you taste his (‘Abd al-Rahmaan’s) sweetness and he tastes your sweetness.”
Muslim (1433) narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said: A man divorced his wife three times, then another man married her and divorced her before consummating the marriage with her. Her first husband wanted to remarry her, and the Prophet (S) was asked about that. He said: “No, not until the second husband tastes of her sweetness what the first one tasted.”
What is meant by the words “he divorced me and made the divorce irrevocable” is: he issued me a divorce that put a final end to my marriage to him, which is the third talaaq.
What is meant by the words of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) “until you taste his sweetness and he tastes your sweetness” is a metaphor for intercourse.
An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: This hadith indicates that a woman who has been thrice divorced is not permissible for the husband who divorced her until she marries another husband and he has intercourse with her then leaves her, and her ‘iddah comes to an end. As for merely doing the marriage contract with her, that does not make her permissible for the first husband. This is the view of all scholars among the Sahaabah and Taabi‘een, and those who came after them.
End quote fromSharh Muslim(10/3)
Secondly:
Tahleel marriage is a marriage in which a man marries a woman for the purpose of making her permissible for her first husband, then he divorces her. It is prohibited and invalid according to the view of most of the scholars, and the woman does not become permissible for her first husband thereby.
This applies whether this aim is explicitly expressed at the time of the marriage contract, and they stipulate that when he has made her permissible for her first husband he should divorce her, or they do not stipulate that and he merely intends it in his own heart.
See:al-Mughni(7/574)
Abu Dawood (2076) narrated that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “May Allah curse the muhallil and the muhallal lahu.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh Abi Dawood.
The muhallil is the one who marries a woman in order to make her permissible for her first husband. The muhallal lahu is the first husband.
Ibn Maajah (1936) narrated from ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Shall I not tell you of a borrowed billy-goat.” They said, Yes, O Messenger of Allah. He said, “He is al-muhallil. May Allaah curse al-muhallil and al-muhallal lahu.” Classed as hasan by al-Albaani inSaheeh Sunan Ibn Maajah.
‘Abd ar-Razzaaq (6/265) narrated from ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) that he said, when addressing the people: By Allah, no muhallil or muhallal lahu will be brought to me but I will stone them.
Thirdly:
The tahleel marriage is invalid.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The marriage of the muhallil is invalid and all the rulings on invalid contracts are applicable to it. No chastity could be attained by that and it does not make the woman permissible for the first husband, as is the case with all invalid marriage contracts.
End quote fromal-Mughni(7/574)
Based on that, this marriage is as good as non-existent, so if the second husband divorces you, he does not have the right to take you back, because the right to take the wife back can only be based on a valid marriage.
But if you want to marry this man (the second husband), let him do a valid marriage contract with you, in a genuine marriage, not a tahleel marriage. And you both have to repent from what you previously did of a haraam marriage.
If this valid marriage is done, it will not be a tahleel marriage.
If it so happens that the second husband dies or divorces you, then you will become permissible for the first husband.
And Allah knows best.
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