Engagment, Doubt & clear, – * She wants to go out with her fiance to make sure about him so that there will not be a disaster

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i have a question thats bothering me alot for a while now..and i recently got divorce about a year now and i have no kids, its been a year now. my question is since i didnt' knew the guy before i got married and i got married to hum coz my parents thought he was nice for me..now since it happened with me i thought it would be nice if i know somebody before i get married not in a sense of dating but just talking and knowing whether he is a right person or wrong.. the point is i dont' want to hurt myself or end uplike this again so my question is does islam allows a girl to pick the guy and marriage i want some information regarding this.. i would appreciate your help
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Praise be to Allaah.
Islam has prescribed asking the father’s permission when one wants to marry his daughter, whether she is a virgin or has previously been married.
It is the girl’s right to have sufficient information about the person who wants to marry her. This may be achieved by enquiring about him through various channels, such as asking some of her relatives to ask his friends and those who know him well about him, because they may know a lot about his good and bad points which other people would not know about.
But it is not permissible for her under any circumstances to be alone with him (khulwah) before marriage, or to take off her hijaab in front of him. It is well known that in such meetings the man does not show his true nature, but rather he is on his best behaviour and tries to make a good impression. Even if she were to be alone with him or to go out with him, he will not show her his true character. Many of those who go out with a fiancé in this sinful manner end up in tragedy and these sinful steps, whether they were taken in private or in public, do not bring any benefits.
Often the fiancé will use sweet words and play with the emotions of his fiancée when he goes out with her, and he shows her his best side, but when she makes enquiries about him and tries to find out more about him, she will discover something entirely different. So going out with him or being alone with him does not solve the problem. Even if for the sake of argument we were to say that it does serve some purpose in finding out about the man's character, the resulting sin and possibility of leading to bad consequences is far greater than that (potential benefit). This is why Islam forbids being alone with a strange (non-mahram) man – and the fiancé is still a stranger – or taking off one’s hijaab in front of him.
We should not forget another important matter, which is that after the marriage ceremony (nikaah) and before the wedding night (when the marriage is celebrated and consummated), the woman has ample opportunity to get to know the man's character up close and to make sure about him, because now it is permissible for her to be alone with him and to go out with him, so long as the marriage contract has been concluded. If she discovers something bad that she really cannot put up with, then she can ask him for Khul’ (divorce). But usually the outcome is not so bad, so long as one has made enquiries about the person and found out about him in a proper fashion before the nikaah.
We ask Allaah to choose what is best for you and to make things easy for you wherever you are. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.
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Engagment, Doubt & clear, – * He is afraid that he will offend his friend if he proposes to his sister

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- I am studying at University, and coming to the end of my degree next year, Inshallah! I have know a brother for a few years now, and we have know to love each for the sake of Allah (SWT). The brother has a sister, and I wish to propose to his sister for marriage, yet what is the Islamic ettiquette for proposing to this brother for his sister's hand in marriage, as he is his sister's walee?? I feel that he may be offended or angry, as she is precious to him?
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Praise be to Allaah.
There is no particular etiquette prescribed in sharee’ah for proposing marriage apart from the traditions and etiquette that are known in all lands, so long as they are in accordance with the sharee’ah.
You want to marry your friend’s sister, but you do not know how he will react and are afraid that he may be angry, but you do not mention any reasons why he may be angry.
Is it only because he loves his sister and she is dear to him? This is not an obstacle, for the one whose sister or daughter is dear to him will look for a good match for her, and this is a part of his sincerity towards her.
If it is a different matter, such as traditions or pragmatic issues, then we cannot advise you without knowing what they are.
You could consult with a knowledgeable person from your friend’s country who knows you and him, and who could advise you.
Or you could approach your friend in an indirect manner, such as telling him that you want to get married and ask him who could offer you advice about women or ask him to tell you who knows about the Muslim women. Perhaps then you would see something of how he feels about this matter. Or you could tell him that you love him for the sake of Allaah, and explain your wishes by saying that this love could be strengthened and the tie made more lasting if you were to become brothers-in-law. So you could say, for example, “I wish I had a sister whom you could marry, or you had a (female) relative whom I could marry, so that we could always keep in touch.” Then wait and see his reaction; then you will know whether to take the matter further or not. If you are afraid of his reaction, you could ask someone else to bring up this topic, so as to spare yourself any embarrassment. And remember that du’aa’ is one of the most important means of achieving desired results. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.
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10 Facts about the Day of Jumu'ah

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One of the blessings with which the Muslim nation has been endowed is
the day of Jumu'ah , or Friday . The Messenger of Allaah, , said: "The
best day the sun rises over is Friday; on it Allaah created Aadam. On
it, he was made to enter paradise, on it he was expelled from it, and
the Last Hour will take place on no other day than Friday." [Ahmad and
At-At-Tirmithi].
Imaam Ibn Katheer , said, "It was named Jumu'ah because it is derived
from the word Al-Jam' in Arabic which means to gather, as Muslims
gather on this day every week, and Allaah has commanded the believers
to gather for His worship, as He says that which means : } "O you who
believe! When the call is proclaimed for Jumu`ah (Friday prayer), come
fastto the remembrance of Allaah" { [Quran, 62: 9] meaning be keen to
go and attend it."
Here are some other virtues and facts about the Day of Jumu'ah :
· It includes the congregational Jumu'ah prayer, which is one of the
obligatory acts in Islam and one of the great gatherings of the
Muslims. Allah The Almighty will seal the heart of whoever abandons
and slights this, according to the Prophet , in a Hadeeth (narration)
in the book of Imaam Muslim .
· The day of Jumu'ah includes an hour during which all supplications
are accepted. Abu Hurayrah , narrated that the Messenger of Allaah ,
said: "On (the day of) Jumu'ah is an hour during which Allaahgives to
a Muslim servant standing in prayer whatever he asks for."
[Al-Bukhaari and Muslim].
· Giving in charity during this day is more virtuous than any other
day. Ka'b , narrated that the Messenger, , said: "Charity given during
theday of Jumu'ah is greater(in reward) than any other day."
· The believers will see their Lord from Paradise on that day. Anas
ibn Maalik, said regardingthe saying of Allaah The Almighty (which
means): } "And We have more (i.e. a glance at the All-Mighty)" {
[Quran, 50: 35] "Allaah will appear to them on the day of Jumu'ah."
· It is an 'Eed , i.e., a recurrent holiday and celebration. Ibn
'Abbaas , narrated that the Messenger of Allaah said: "Jumu'ah is a
day of celebration, so whoever attends it should performGhusl
(bathing) beforehand." [Ibn Maajah].
· It is a day on which sins are forgiven, as narrated by Salmaan who
narrated that the Prophet, said: "Any man who performs Ghusl on
Friday, perfumes himself if he has perfume, wears the best of his
clothes, then goes to the mosque and offers as many prayers as he
wishes while not harming anybody, then listens quietly while the Imaam
speaks until he offers the prayer, will have all his sins between that
Friday and the next forgiven." [Al-Bukhaari].
· When walking to attend the Friday sermon, a Muslim gets the reward
of both praying Qiyaam (i.e., the night prayer) and fasting a full
year. Aws ibn Aws narrated that the Prophet, , said: "Whoever performs
Ghusl on Friday after having sexual intercoursewith his wife, then
goes early to the mosque and attends from the beginning of the Khutbah
and draws near to the Imaam and listens to him attentively, Allaah
will give him the full reward of fasting all the days of a year and
observing night-vigil on each of its nights for every step that he
took towards the mosque." [Ibn Khuzaymah, Ahmad].
· Hell is fired-up during every day of the week except Friday, as a
mark of honour and respect for the day of Friday.
· Dying on Friday, during the day or night, is a signof a good end,
for the one who dies on that daywill be protected from the trial of
the grave (i.e.,Allaah The Almighty will enable such a person to be
steadfast during it). The Prophet, said: "AnyMuslim who dies during
the day or night of Fridaywill be protected by Allaah from the trial
of the grave." [At-Tirmithi and Ahmad].
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PUBLISHER:
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Published by,
NAJIMUDEEN M - INDIA,
On behalf of " ISLAMIC RESEARCH INSTITUTIONS "
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:
-
* see more islamic Articles
-
#http://aydnajimudeen.blogspot.com/
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#https://aydnajimudeen.wordpress.com/?_e_pi_=7%2CPAGE_ID10%2C2581662807
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these comes from:
-
* ISLAMIC RESEARCH INSTITUTIONS * (world wide)
-
Managing Director :
-
NAJIMUDEEN M. MD, IRI. /
-
Email :-#IslamicResearchInstitution@gmail.com /
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• • • • • • • • • • • • • - You can ask your Doughts (about Islam or any other religions) through email/
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Thanking You!/
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