Engagment, - Dought& clear, - * He wants to propose to a woman in another city; can he ask for her picture?

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How can I look at a woman before proposing if we live in two different cities and I cannot travel?.
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Praise be to Allaah.
If a man has decided to propose to a woman, it is permissible for him to look at that which may encourage him to marry her, because of the report narrated by Abu Dawood (2082) from Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When one of you proposes to a woman, if he can look at that which may encourage him to go ahead and marry her, let him do so.” He said: I proposed to a girl and I used to hide myself from her until I saw that which encouraged me to marry her, and I went ahead and married her. This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh Abi Dawood.
For more information on the guidelines on looking, see the answer to question no. 2572.
If you cannot travel to see the one to whom you want to propose, then you can look at a picture of her, but you should realize that a picture is not a true reflection of reality. A woman may appear more beautiful in a picture than she really is, and vice versa.
You also have to get rid of this picture and not keep it, and you have to be careful so that no one else sees it but you.
Do not ask for a picture until you have feel that you want to marry her, after asking about her religious commitment and situation, and you think that you will most likely be accepted. When there is nothing left to be done but seeing her, then ask for the picture at that point, because of the report narrated by Ahmad (18005) and Ibn Majaah (1864) from Muhammad ibn Maslamah, who said: I proposed marriage to a woman, then I hid and waited to see her until I saw her among some date palm trees that belonged to her. It was said to him: Do you do such a thing when you are a companion of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)? He said, “When Allaah causes a man to propose to a woman, there is nothing wrong with him looking at her.” It was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh Ibn Majaah.
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If he wants to propose to her it is mustahabb for him to look at her lest he come to regret it. Another view is that this looking is not mustahabb, rather it is permissible, but the former view is the one that is correct, because of the ahaadeeth. It is permissible to look repeatedly in order to have a good idea about her physical appearance, whether the looking is with her permission or not. If it is not easy to look, he may send a woman to look at her and describe her to him. End quote fromRawdat al-Taalibeen(7/19).
Looking at one’s fiancée or at her picture is subject to the condition that there be no provocation of desire, so he should look at her without pleasure.
It says inMataalib Ooli al-Nuha(5/12): If the one who proposes to a woman is certain that there will be no provocation of desire when looking at her, without being alone with her, he may look at her. If he is alone with her or there is the fear that desire may be provoked, then it is not permissible. End quote.
And Allaah knows best.

PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI

Engagment, - Dought& clear, - * He loves his fiancée but she wants to cancel the engagement; what should he do?

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I am a 25 years old man. I engaged my relative about one year and half ago. Before this we had a love relationship for about two years. We both are religious, abiding by prayers and avoiding any haram. We fell in some sins many times but, Alhamdulillah, repented to Allah and we are seeking His forgiveness day and night. We have been alone together many times, which led us to do things like kissing and touching. Since that time we repented and are asking Allah to forgive us. Now my fiancée wants break our engagement for very small and meaningless reasons. Everyone objects to her reasons, her family and my family, we all relatives. She is also hesitant about this decision. We love each other for many years and I do not want to lose her ever. Please guide me to the right behavior I should do with her. I wish I receive an answer soon as I am passing this problem at the moment and do not know what to do.
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Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
What you have mentioned about your relationship with your relative and the haraam actions that you committed is something that is very regrettable when it happens among Muslims. It is indicative of fathers’ and mothers’ shortcomings in protecting their daughters and preventing them from mixing with men, and being careless with regard to relatives concerning this matter.
We praise Allaah for having given you insight into your mistakes and enabling you to repent and regret it and seek forgiveness. We ask Him, may He be glorified, to forgive you and accept your repentance.
Secondly:
You should find out the reasons why this girl wants to cancel the engagement. You could delegate this task to one of your female relatives. There may be reasons that can be remedied.
If the girl insists on her position, then all you can do is be patient and seek reward, and perhaps that will be better for you, because one does not know where good will be, and with whom he will find happiness.
You should also pray istikhaarah, asking Allaah for guidance, and ask Allaah to help you to get married to a righteous woman.
Beware lest you be one of those who are weak in faith, who – when they miss out on something they had wished for – lose their strength and willpower, and indulge in haraam things, or they fail to do obligatory duties, or they announce their withdrawal from life. That is the attitude of those who are hopeless and filled with despair. But the believer knows that everything happens by the will and decree of Allaah, and that he will never get anything but that which has been decreed for him. Hence Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“No calamity befalls on the earth or in yourselves but it is inscribed in the Book of Decrees (Al‑Lawh Al‑Mahfooz) before We bring it into existence. Verily, that is easy for Allaah.
23. In order that you may not grieve at the things over that you fail to get, nor rejoice over that which has been given to you. And Allaah likes not prideful boasters”
[al-Hadeed 57:22, 23]
We ask Allaah to guide you to what is good for you and make it easy for you wherever it may be, and to enable you to have a happy and successful marriage by His leave.
And Allaah knows best.

PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI

Shirk and its different forms, Dought & clear,- * Cursing Islam in a Moment of Intense Anger

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A man cursed Islam in a moment of intense anger – what is the ruling on that? What are the conditions of repentance from this action? Is his marriage to his wife annulled as a result?
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Praise be to Allah
The ruling on the one who curses Islam is that he is a kafir (disbeliever), because cursing Islam or making fun of it constitutes apostasy from Islam and disbelief in Allah and in His religion. Allah tells us of some people who made fun of Islam and then said. “We were just joking and playing,” but Allah tells us that this joking and playing is in fact mocking Allah, His signs and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), and that they were committing kufr (disbelief) thereby. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“If you ask them (about this), they declare: ‘We were only talking idly and joking.’ Say: ‘Was it at Allah, and His Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) and His Messenger that you were mocking?
Make no excuse; you disbelieved after you had believed.’” [9:65, 66]
Mocking the religion of Allah, or cursing the religion of Allah, or insulting Allah and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), or making fun of them, is kufr that puts one beyond the pale of Islam. However, there is room for repentance from this, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Say: O ‘Ibadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [39:53]
If a person repents from any kind of apostasy and his repentance is sincere and meets all the conditions of repentance, then Allah will accept his repentance. There are five conditions of repentance, which are as follows:
1 – Being sincere towards Allah in repentance, i.e., the motive for repentance should not be a desire to show off, or fear of another person, or the hope for some worldly gain to be made by repenting. If a person’s repentance is sincerely for the sake of Allah alone, and the motive for it is fear of Allah and fear of His punishment and hope for His reward, then it is sincerely for Allah alone.
2 – He must regret what he has done of sin, by feeling remorse and sorrow for what has happened in the past, and he should regard it as a serious matter that he has to give up.
3 – He must give up the sin and stop persisting in it. If his sin was omission of an obligatory duty, he must start doing it and make it up if he can. If his sin was commission of a forbidden action he must give it up and keep away from it. If his sin had to do with other people, then he must restore their rights to them or ask for their pardon.
4 – He must resolve not to go back to it in the future, by having the determination in his heart not to go back to the sin from which he has repented.
5 – His repentance must come at the time when it will be accepted. If it comes after that time it will not be accepted. The time of acceptance is general and specific.
The general time is when the sun rises from the west; repentance that comes after the sun rises from the west will not be accepted, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“The day that some of the signs of your Lord do come, no good will it do to a person to believe then, if he believed not before, nor earned good (by performing deeds of righteousness) through his faith. Say: Wait you! We (too) are waiting.” [6:158]
The specific time is when death is imminent. When death is imminent repentance will be of no benefit, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And of no effect is the repentance of those who continue to do evil deeds until death faces one of them and he says: ‘Now I repent;’ nor of those who die while they are disbelievers.” [4:18]
I say: if a person repents from any sin – even if that is cursing Islam – then his repentance will be accepted if he meets the conditions mentioned here.
But it should be noted that a word may be an act of kufr (disbelief) or apostasy, but the one who says it may not become a kafir (disbeliever) thereby, if there is a factor present which means that he cannot be judged to be a kafir. Here we have a man who tells us that he cursed Islam whilst in a state of anger. We say to him: If your anger was so intense that you did not know what you were saying, and at that point you did not know if you were in heaven or on earth, and you said words without thinking or knowing what they were, then these words are not subject to any ruling, and you cannot be judged to be an apostate, because these words were not spoken intentionally. If a word is spoken unintentionally, Allah will not punish a person for it. Allah says concerning vows (interpretation of the meaning):
“Allah will not punish you for what is unintentional in your oaths, but He will punish you for your deliberate oaths.” [5:89]
If this person who spoke words of kufr in a moment of intense anger did not know what he was saying, then there is no ruling on his words, and he cannot be judged to be an apostate in this case. As he is not judged to be an apostate, his marriage to his wife is not annulled; rather she is still married to him.
But if a person feels angry he should try to counteract this anger in the ways prescribed by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) when a man asked him, “O Messenger of Allah, advise me.” He said: “Do not get angry,” and he repeated it several times, saying, “Do not get angry.” So he must exercise self-control and seek refuge with Allah from the accursed shaytan (devil). If he is standing, he should sit down; if he is sitting, he should lie down. If his anger grows too intense, he should do wudhu (ablution). All these things will take away his anger. How many people have regretted acting upon their anger, but it was too late.
Majmoo’ Fatawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthyameen.
And Allah knows best.
Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthyameen, 2/152.

PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI