Between man and wife, Dought & clear, - * A trick to have intercourse during the day in Ramadaan by breaking the fast before hand

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I had been to my home country on a week leave. One day before flying off i had called my wife and had advised my wife not to fast on the day of my coming. This was because I am an impatient type of nature and wanted to have intercourse with the wife at the moment i reached home. she obeyed my words and we had sex during the day. Both were not fasting. Have we commited a sin?.
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Praise be to Allaah.
If what happened to you took place in a month other than Ramadaan, there is no sin on you, because naafil fasts do not have to be completed; even if a Muslim has started such a fast, he may stop the fast, according to the sound scholarly view.
But if it happened in the month of Ramadaan, it is a major sin. How can anyone take lightly the matter of stopping the fast without a valid excuse or shar’i reason, and even use trickery to transgress the sacred limits of Allaah in this manner?
Based on that, if that happened in the month of Ramadaan, it is subject to further discussion:
1 – If you arrived before the adhaan of Fajr, then you should have fasted that day, so long as your journey ended when you returned to your home. If you deliberately did not fast, and your wife broke the fast with you, so that you could have intercourse with her, then you are both sinners and you both have to make up the fast and you both have to offer the severe expiation that is required for intercourse.
2 – If you arrived during the day, the correct view is that if the traveller arrives not fasting, he does not have to refrain from eating and drinking for the rest of the day, because he cannot be required both to refrain and to make up the day. This view was narrated from Imam Ahmad, and it is the view of the Shaafa’is. [SeeSharh al-Mushayqih ‘ala Zaad al-Ma’aad, 4/282-285.] But you sinned by telling her to break the fast, and she also sinned if she obeyed you. If she did not fast so that you could have intercourse with her, then she has to make up that day, and she alone has to offer the severe expiation because of the intercourse that took place. This has already been discussed in questions no. 38023, 22938and 1672.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked about a man who wanted to have intercourse with his wife during the day in Ramadaan, and he broke his fast with food before having intercourse, then he had intercourse. Does he have to offer expiation or not? What about the one who breaks the fast with no excuse?
He replied: Praise be to Allaah. There are two well-known scholarly views concerning this matter. The first is that it is obligatory. This is the view of the majority, such as Maalik, Ahmad, Abu Haneefah and others. The second view is that it is not obligatory. This is the view of al-Shaafa’i… Then they disputed as to whether it is essential that he have broken a valid fast (in order for the severe expiation to be required). Al-Shaafa’i and others said that that is essential, for example if he eats and then has intercourse, or he starts the day intending not to fast and then has intercourse, or he has intercourse, then offers expiation, then has intercourse again. He does not have to offer expiation, according to al-Shaafa’i, because he did not have intercourse during a valid fast. But Ahmad and others say that he does have to offer expiation in these and similar cases, because he should have refrained from eating etc during Ramadaan, so this is an invalid fast. This is like invalid ihraam. If a pilgrim who has entered ihraam for Hajj spoils his ihraam, he has to continue refraining from the things that are forbidden during ihraam, like those whose ihraam is still valid. Similarly, if a person is obliged to fast during Ramadaan, he has to refrain even if his fast is spoiled by eating or having intercourse, or by not having the intention to fast. He should still refrain from doing the things that are forbidden when fasting. But if he does not refrain, he is still subject to the same requirement of expiation as if his fast was still valid. And in either case he has to make up the fast as well.
And Allaah knows best.

*AS'SALAMU ALAIKUM (WR, WB)*
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Monday - Sep - 26 - 2016
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Dhul Hajj - - 23 - -1437
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PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI

Between man and wife, Dought & clear, - * He wants his wife to break her fast and make it up later for no reason

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Fate decreed that the first week of Ramadaan should be the week of my marriage, and my husband cannot control his desire, but I do not want to break the fast.
My husband says that it does not matter if I break the fast for one day and make it up later.
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Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Saying “fate decreed” is not correct, because the One Who wills and decrees is Allaah, the One, the Subduer, may He be glorified and exalted. We have already discussed this in the answer to question no. 8621.
Secondly:
Breaking the fast in Ramadaan for no reason is a major sin, and the one who does it is afaasiq(rebellious evildoer) who has to repent to Allaah from this major sin.
It was narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) issued a stern warning to the one who breaks the fast in Ramadaan for no reason.
Al-Haakim narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw the punishment of the one who breaks the fast in Ramadaan for no reason, He said: “We saw some people hung up by their Achilles tendons, with the corners of their mouths torn and pouring with blood. I said, ‘Who are these?’ He said: ‘These are the people who broke their fast before it was permissible for them to do so.’”
Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inal-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 3951.
Based on this, this husband has to fear Allaah and not take the matter of fasting lightly, for it is a serious matter.
You should not obey him in this matter, for there is no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience towards the Creator.
Breaking the fast in Ramadaan and making it up later on is only prescribed for those who break the fast for a legitimate reason such as sickness, traveling etc. But if a Muslim breaks the fast in Ramadaan for no reason, he exposes himself to the wrath and punishment of Allaah. We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound.
See also question no. 38747.
Thirdly:
Intercourse is one of the things that break the fast, and it is one of the most serious of such things in terms of sin. Hence kafaarah (expiation) must be offered for it.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said inFataawa al-Siyaam(p. 337):
The one who has intercourse during the day in Ramadaan when he is fasting and is not traveling has to offer a burdensome expiation, which is freeing a slave; if he cannot do that then he must fast for two consecutive months; and if he cannot do that then he must feed sixty poor persons. The same applies to the woman if she was willing, but if she was forced then she does not have to do anything. If they were traveling then there is no sin on them and they do not have to offer any expiation, and they do not have to refrain from eating for the rest of the day, but they do have to make up that day, because fasting is not obligatory for them (as they are traveling). If a person had intercourse when he was fasting in his own country and was one of those who are obliged to fast, five things result from that:
1- It is a sin
2- The fast is invalidated
3- He has to refrain from eating etc for the rest of the day
4- He has to make up the fast
5- He has to offer expiation.
The evidence for that is the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: Whilst we were sitting with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), a man came and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I am doomed!” He said: “What is the matter with you?” He said, “I had intercourse with my wife when I was fasting.” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do you have a slave whom you can set free?” He said, “No.” He said: “Can you fast for two consecutive months?” He said, “No.” He said, “Can you afford to feed sixty poor persons?” He said, “No.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) fell silent for a while, and whilst we were like that, a basket of dates was brought to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He said: “Where is the one who was asking?’ He said, “Here I am.” He said: ‘Take this and give it in charity.” The man said: “To someone poorer than me? O Messenger of Allaah, there is no family between the two lava fields (i.e., in Madeenah) poorer than mine.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) smiled until his eyeteeth became visible, then he said: “Feed it to your family.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1936; Muslim, 1111.
If this man cannot fast or feed the poor, then the obligation to offer expiation is waived, because Allaah does not burden any soul beyond its scope, and there is no obligation if one is unable to do it. It makes no difference whether there was any ejaculation or not, so long as intercourse has taken place. This is unlike the case when ejaculation takes place without intercourse, for which no expiation is due, rather this is a sin, and the person must refrain from eating etc for the rest of the day, and make the day up.
He was also asked about a man who forces his wife to have intercourse during the day in Ramadaan, and replied:
It is haraam for her to obey her husband or to allow him to do that in this case, because she is observing an obligatory fast. She has to resist him as much as possible. It is haraam for her husband to have intercourse with her in this case, but if she cannot stop him then there is no sin on her, and she does not have to make up the day or offer any expiation, because she was forced to do it.
Fataawa al-Siyaam, p. 339.

*AS'SALAMU ALAIKUM (WR, WB)*
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Monday - Sep - 26 - 2016
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Dhul Hajj - - 23 - -1437
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* ! *
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PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI

Engagment, - Dought & clear, - * He got to know her through a forum and he wants to propose marriage to her

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I am a 26 years old man. I knew a girl via the internet. She is 20 years old. We had a very normal relationship initially through a forum. Then we started to message each other via E-mail. I felt comfortable with her, and she felt the same. Some time later I expressed my wish to marry her. It was a surprise for her, and then she told me afterwards that she accepts. This decision I made to marry her is based on: 1- I felt very comfortable with her, 2- she is from a decent family, which is suitable for me, 3- she is moral girl,…etc. we know each other for one year now. Allah witnesses that we never talked about sex. We call each other by telephone very few times, nearly once a month, just to ask how she is. But we message each other all the time through the E-mail. She and I wish to have a halal relationship by marriage. Do you advise me to do so or not? Allah witnesses that my intention is pure, also please tell me a suitable way in which I can tell my mother to engage her for me.
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Praise be to Allaah.
We have previously explained that it is haraam to form relationships between men and women and for them to correspond for the purpose of getting to know one another, in the answers to questions no. 34841 and 82196. That is because of the fitnah (temptation) and infatuation that result from that, and because it may lead to direct contact and the haraam words and actions that may result from that.
InFataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah(17/67) it says: It is not permissible for you to correspond with a young man who is not your mahram to get to know him, because that is something that leads to fitnah (temptation) and to evil and corruption. End quote.
The peace of mind or feeling comfortable that you mention is something that is to be expected, because humans are created to be inclined towards the opposite sex, so you want that and like it and feel comfortable with it. Then comes the fitnah that we have warned about. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “This world is sweet and green, and Allaah will make you successive generations therein, so look at what you do. Beware of this world and beware of women, for the first fitnah (trial) among the Children of Israel had to do with women.” Narrated by Muslim (2742).
Hence you have to repent to Allaah and stop this correspondence and contact, because this girl is a non-mahram who is not permissible for you. She should also understand this fact. A happy marriage cannot be based on sin and transgression of the sacred limits.
Secondly:
There is nothing wrong with marrying this girl after asking about her religious commitment and character and her family’s circumstances. If she is religiously committed and of good character, and her corresponding with you was a slip, then pray istikhaarah, asking Allaah for guidance, and go to her wali (guardian) and propose marriage to her.
After you have asked about her, you may find a suitable way to tell your mother about her, such as finding a girl who is known to some of your relatives and friends and so on, because telling her that you got to know her via the internet may be a reason for rejecting her.
We ask Allaah to help you to choose a righteous wife who will make you happy and help you to obey Allaah.
And Allaah knows best.

PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI