Hadees

mwb

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அப்துல்லாஹ் பின் மஸ்ஊத் (ரலி) அவர்கள்கூறியதாவது:அல்லாஹ்வின் தூதர் (ஸல்) அவர்கள் எங்களிடம்- "இளைஞர் சமுதாயமே! உங்களில் தாம்பத்தியம் நடத்த சக்தி பெற்றோர் திருமணம் செய்துகொள்ளட்டும். அது (தகாத) பார்வையைக் கட்டுப்படுத்தும்; கற்பைக் காக்கும்.அதற்கு இயலாதோர் நோன்பு நோற்றுக் கொள்ளட்டும்! ஏனெனில் நோன்பு- (ஆசையைக்) கட்டுப்படுத்தக்கூடியதாகும்" என்று கூறினார்கள். - இந்த ஹதீஸ் இரு அறிவிப்பாளர்தொடர்களில் வந்துள்ளது.[ஹதீஸ் -https://plus.google.com/app/basic/+NajimudeenM/posts?_e_pi_=7%2CPAGE_ID10%2C8249064963
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Hadees

mwb

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அப்துல்லாஹ் பின் உமர் (ரலி) அவர்கள் கூறியதாவது:நான் என் மனைவியை- அவள் மாதவிடாயிலிருந்தபோது தலாக் சொல்லிவிட்டேன். ஆகவே- (என் தந்தை) உமர் (ரலி) அவர்கள் இதைப் பற்றி நபி (ஸல்) அவர்களிடம் தெரிவித்தார்கள். இதைக் கேட்டு அல்லாஹ்வின் தூதர் (ஸல்) அவர்கள் கோபப்பட்டார்கள். பிறகு (என் தந்தையிடம்-)"நீங்கள் உங்கள் புதல்வருக்குக் கட்டளையிடுங்கள்; அவர் தம் மனைவியைத் திரும்ப அழைத்துக் கொள்ளட்டும்! அவளை அவர் மணவிலக்குச் செய்த மாதவிடாய் நாட்களை விடுத்து- அதற்கடுத்த மாதவிடாய்வரை (காத்திருக்கட்டும்). பிறகு அவளை மணவிலக்குச் செய்ய வேண்டுமென அவருக்குத் தோன்றினால்- அவள் அந்த மாதவிடாயிலிருந்து தூய்மையடைந்ததும் அவளுடன் தாம்பத்திய உறவு கொள்வதற்கு முன் அவளைத் தலாக் சொல்லிக்கொள்ளட்டும்! இதுவே அல்லாஹ் கட்டளையிட்டுள்ளதைப் போன்று"இத்தா"வுக்குரிய தலாக் ஆகும்.இதன் அறிவிப்பாளரான சாலிம் பின் அப்தில்லாஹ் (ரஹ்) அவர்கள் கூறுகிறார்கள்:(என் தந்தை) அப்துல்லாஹ் பின் உமர் (ரலி) அவர்கள் தம் மனைவியை (அவர் மாதவிடாயிலிருந்தபோது) ஒரு தலாக் சொல்லியிருந்தார்கள். அது தலாக்காகவே கருதப் பட்டது. பின்னர் அவரை அப்துல்லாஹ் பின் உமர் (ரலி) அவர்கள் அல்லாஹ்வின் தூதர் (ஸல்) அவர்களின் கட்டளைக்கேற்ப திரும்ப அழைத்துக்கொண்டார்கள்.- மேற்கண்ட ஹதீஸ் அப்துல்லாஹ் பின் உமர் (ரலி) அவர்களிடமிருந்தே மற்றோர் அறிவிப்பாளர் தொடர் வழியாகவும் வந்துள்ளது.அதில் "எனவே- நான் என் மனைவியை திரும்ப அழைத்துக்கொண்டேன். நான் அவளக்குச் சொன்ன தலாக்கைத் தலாக்காகவே கணித்தேன்" என்று அப்துல்லாஹ் பின் உமர் (ரலி) அவர்கள் கூறினார்கள் என இடம் பெற்றுள்ளது.[ஹதீஸ் -

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Engagment, - Dought& clear, - * He lives in America and has done the marriage contract with her; can she travel to join him?

I am a young woman living in Jordan, and I got engaged on the basis of
a contract to a young man who is religiously committed and fears
Allah, and he lives in America. We have been engaged for a year and a
half, and he is still studying. My question is: is it permissible for
me to travel to be with him and his mother until he finishes his
studies, then we can go to where he is going to work? Please note that
until now there is no place where we can get married and live
together. In other words I would stay with him until he finishes his
studies. Please note that I cannot stay away from him more than that,
and my being with him will help him to keep away from the fitnah that
surrounds him.
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Praise be to Allaah.
If you mean that the marriage contract has been done for you and there
remains nothing but consummation of the marriage, and that he wants to
consummate the marriage with you there, then there is nothing wrong
with that; rather it is something good and we encourage you and advise
you to go ahead, because it is better for you to be with your husband
and it is more chaste for you and for him, and will keep both of you
further away from fitnah.
Your family and his should announce news of the consummation of the
marriage everywhere and publicise it in the place where you are. It is
not essential for the consummation to actually take place in the
country where you are; rather that may be easier for you and it may be
more affordable to get married this way in the beginning, then after
that you can prepare your home gradually.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
It is better for a woman to travel overseas with her husband than to
stay in her country; that is better for her and for him too. I do not
see anything wrong with it.
End quote fromLiqa' al-Baab al-Maftooh, 81/17
See also the answer to question no. 3477
In that case he has to come and travel with you, or one of your
mahrams should travel with you to take you to him, because a woman can
only travel with a mahram. See the answer to questions no. 316and
34380
If you mean that you will travel to him without that which is
customarily called consummation, meaning that you would be travelling
to him thinking that you are married in the sense that a marriage
contract has been done but the marriage has not been consummated, in
spite of all that you mention, and that the actual consummation of the
marriage will come after he finishes his studies and gets a house and
a job, when he can afford the expenses of marriage and the
consequences and costs thereof, this is a kind of messing about and
fooling oneself, and that is something that is not acceptable at all.
This idea of yours seems to be based on the way you phrased your
question, "I got engaged on the basis of a contract" i.e., a marriage
contract, as some people call this period an engagement period, even
if the shar'i marriage contract has been done.
But if that does not mean a marriage contract, then it is not
permissible for you to travel to him and none of the aims of marriage
result from that. Rather you should look at what your words really
mean.
It says inFataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa'imah(18/69): Mere engagement
between a man and woman does not mean that it is a marriage contract.
Both the man and the woman may change their minds if they see fit
during that period, whether the other party agrees or not.
And Allah knows best.

Engagment, - Dought& clear, - * His father chose a wife for him who he does not want

After being convinced for years by my parents to marry my cousin, I
finally agreed last year and got engaged. I would however admit that I
had no special liking for her and before I took the final decision, I
also performed Istikharah but didnt seem to get a proper answer or
direction and remained confused. I finally thought that since my
parents are happy with this marriage I would go for it. I study in
another country and after we got engaged I started talking to her on
phone and among other things got to know that she has a problem of
falling hair and due to that her hair has thinned a lot. I asked her
to visit some doctors and she has started to take medications but not
of any great help as of now. After knowing all this I am very upset
with myself and also with her although I have not told anything like
that to her that might hurt her in anyway. I really feel very upset
all the time now as you would understand that I also have some
feelings and wishes about how my future wife should look like. Right
now I am always in distress and feel like that this is my destiny to
marry her which cannot be changed as doing that would severly damage
the relations in our family. I don't know what to do and can't stop
thinking about this. This has now started to affect my studies also. I
can't talk about this to anyone not my parents or friends. Thinking
about this is always keeping me disturbed. I have agreed to marry her
next year after my parents told me so. I don't know what to do now or
how things would go after that. I would like to have your suggestions
and guidance in this regard.
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Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
Istikhaarah is mustahabb and is prescribed in Islam, but one does not
necessarily see a dream after it or get an answer as you described.
Rather its effects appear in the matter being made easy. If the matter
is made easy and goes ahead, this is an indication that it is good, in
sha Allah.
Secondly:
The son is not obliged to obey his parents with regard to marrying a
particular woman, but if he does that to please his parents and make
them happy, he will be rewarded for that, so long as the woman is
religiously committed and of good character.
If he gives the matter some thought and decides that the woman is not
appropriate for him, and is afraid that he will develop resentment
towards her or that he will later be forced to divorce her, then it is
better for him to tell his parents frankly about what he feels and to
apologise to them for cancelling his engagement. This is better than
going ahead with something he does not really want.
We advise you to think long and hard and to examine your fiancée's
characteristics, both positive and negative, before taking the
decision to cancel the engagement. If she is religiously committed and
of good character, and has no faults other than what you mention about
her hair, then this can be dealt with. And a woman may be beautiful or
acceptable despite that problem.
But we also think that you should delay going ahead with the marriage
until you have put your mind at rest about that decision.
You should offer a lot of du'aa' (supplication) and ask Allah to guide
you to that which is best in this world and in the Hereafter.
And Allah knows best.