General , Dought & clear, - * To what extent can the husband tell his wife what to do? Can he use force to make her do something, no matter how trivial?

*AS'SALAMU ALAIKUM (WR, WB)*
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Thursday - Feb - 18 - 2016
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Jamathul Awwal - - 9- -1437
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To what extent can the husband tell his wife what to do? Can he use his power to tell his wife to do whatever, even if its regarding a small matter?
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Praise be to Allah
Allah, may He be glorified, has instructed men to live with their wives honourably, even if they dislike them. He, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good”
[an-Nisa’ 4:19].
Imam at-Tabari (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Live with them honourably, even if you dislike them, for perhaps if you dislike them but you keep them, Allah may bring about a great deal of good through your keeping them despite your disliking them, such as children with whom He blesses you through them, or making you compassionate towards them after having disliked them.
Tafseer at-Tabari(8/122)
Mercy, compassion and kindness are the characteristics of the believers who follow the example of their Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), whose Lord described him as follows (interpretation of the meaning):
“Verily, there has come unto you a Messenger (Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)) from amongst yourselves (i.e. whom you know well). It grieves him that you should receive any injury or difficulty. He (Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)) is anxious over you (to be rightly guided, to repent to Allah, and beg Him to pardon and forgive your sins, in order that you may enter Paradise and be saved from the punishment of the Hell-fire), for the believers (he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) is) full of pity, kind, and merciful”
[at-Tawbah 9:128].
Muslim narrated in hisSaheeh(2594) from ‘Aa’ishah, the wife of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no kindness in a thing but it adorns it, and it is not taken away from a thing but it makes it defective.”
Muslim also narrated (19) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said to Ashajj ‘Abd al-Qays: “You possess two qualities that Allah loves: forbearance and deliberation.”
When Allah, may He be exalted, sent His two slaves and Messengers, Moosa and Haroon, to His enemy Pharaoh, He instructed them to speak mildly and gently to him:
“Go, both of you, to Firaun (Pharaoh), verily, he has transgressed (all bounds in disbelief and disobedience and behaved as an arrogant and as a tyrant).
And speak to him mildly, perhaps he may accept admonition or fear Allah”
[Ta-Ha 20:43, 44].
Islam is the gentle, pure monotheism with which the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was sent. His characteristics included gentleness, compassion and kindness, and one of the most deserving of people to be treated in such a manner is one’s wife, with whom Allah, may He be exalted, has instructed the husband to live honourably, and kindness is part of what is honourable and right; in fact it is one of the most important aspects of what is honourable and right.
Thus we know that when the husband tells his wife to do something, it must be within a framework of compassion and kindness, and that which will preserve the nature of the marital relationship which Allah, may He be exalted, has ordained should be based on love and compassion.
But if the wife neglects one of the rights of Allah, may He be exalted, or one of the rights of her husband, and persists in that despite her husband’s advising her, then in that case she is regarded as defiantly disobedient, and the husband may deal with her in accordance with what Allah, may He be exalted, has prescribed in the case of defiant disobedience, which includes exhortation, shunning her in bed, and hitting lightly without causing pain or injury.
The wife should understand that by being defiantly disobedient, her right to maintenance and a share of her husband’s time (in the case of plural marriage), and all the shar‘i rights that Allah, may He be exalted, has ordained that she has over her husband, are suspended. For more information, please see fatwa no. 33597
If what the wife is doing is clearly evil and wrong, and the husband is able to change this evil, even by force, then he should do so, so long as that will not result in a greater evil or serious trouble.
For example, if she goes out wearing adornment, and he is able to force her to observe shar‘i hijab, even by force, let him do so, so long as that will not lead to a greater evil or serious trouble, because denouncing evil is obligatory in general terms, and it may occasionally be an individual obligation for some people.
Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong may be an individual obligation, in the case of one who sees an evil, if there is no one else to denounce it and he is able to do so. In that case, it is an individual obligation upon him to denounce it, because there is a great deal of established proof to that effect, one of the clearest examples of which is the words of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him): “Whoever among you sees an evil action, then let him change it with his hand [by taking action]; if he cannot, then with his tongue [by speaking out]; and if he cannot, then with his heart – and that is the weakest of faith.” Narrated by Muslim in hisSaheeh. End quote.
Fataawa ash-Shaykh Ibn Baaz(3/212)
With regard to minor issues, as mentioned in the question and described as small matters, they should not be the concern of either spouse, rather they should be overlooked so that family life will run smoothly. Otherwise, if each spouse causes a problem with the other because of such matters, life will turn into a living hell.
It is well-known that there will inevitably be differences between the spouses concerning many matters. The wise person is the one who overlooks minor matters and reduces areas of conflict as much as possible.
We ask Allah to set straight the affairs of the Muslims.
And Allah knows best.

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- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M. MD, IRI (Managing Director, Islamic Research Institution)

Da'eef (weak) hadeeths, Dought & clear, - * About the hadeeth, “There is no i‘tikaaf exceptin the three mosques”

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- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M. MD, IRI (Managing Director, Islamic Research Institution)

Imam al-Albaani said in his essay Qiyaam Ramadan, in the section on i‘tikaaf: “Then I came across a clear saheeh hadeeth which singles out these mosques: ‘There is no i‘tikaaf except in the three mosques.”’ And he pointed out that it is a hadeeth of Hudhayfah narrated by al-Tahhaawi, al-Bayhaqi and al-Isma‘eeli, and hence in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah. What is the ruling on this hadeeth? What could we learn from it concerning i‘tikaaf? i.e., do we understand that it is prohibited to observe i‘tikaaf anywhere but in the three mosques or do we learn from this hadeeth that perfect i‘tikaaf cannot be done except in the three mosques? In either case, what is the proof?.
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Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
The Qur’aan and Sunnah, and scholarly consensus, indicate that it is mustahabb to observe i‘tikaaf in the mosques.
Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“and We commanded Ibrâhim (Abraham) and Ismâ'il (Ishmael) that they should purify My House (the Ka'bah at Makkah) for those who are circumambulating it, or staying (I'tikâf), or bowing or prostrating themselves (there, in prayer)”
[al-Baqarah 2:125].
“And do not have sexual relations with them (your wives) while you are in I'tikâf (i.e. confining oneself in a mosque for prayers and invocations leaving the worldly activities) in the mosques”
[al-Baqarah 2:187].
More than one of the scholars narrated that there was consensus on that. See:al-Ijmaa‘by Ibn al-Mundhir, 47;al-Mughni, 3/122
Although the scholars differed concerning the description of the mosque in which it is prescribed to observe i‘tikaaf, there is hardly any difference of opinion among the fuqaha’ that it is permissible to observe i‘tikaaf in the mosque in which Jumu‘ah prayer and prayers in congregation are offered. There was no report of any difference of opinion concerning that except from some of the Taabi‘een.
We have discussed this issue previously on our website in the answers to questions no. 49006and 48985.
Secondly:
With regard to the hadeeth mentioned in the question, “There is no i‘tikaaf except in the three mosques,” it is a hadeeth from the great Sahaabi Hudhayfah ibn al-Yaman which was narrated from him via Sufyaan ibn ‘Uyaynah from Jaami‘ ibn Abi Raashid from Abu Waa’il: Hudhayfah said to ‘Abdullah, meaning ibn Mas‘ood (may Allah be pleased with him): Are you observing i‘tikaaf between your house and the house of Abu Moosa when you know that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no i‘tikaaf except in al-Masjid al-Haraam or in the three mosques”? ‘Abdullah said: Perhaps you have forgotten and they remembered, or you made a mistake and they got it right.
But the companions of Sufyaan ibn ‘Uyaynah differed concerning it.
Some of them narrated it as being the words of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him). They were:
Muhammad ibn al-Faraj, recorded by al-Ismaa‘eeli inMu‘jam Shuyookhihi, 2/112; Mahmoud ibn Adam al-Marwazi, recorded by al-Bayhaqi inal-Sunan, 4/316; Hishaam ibn ‘Ammaar, recorded by al-Tahhaawi inBayaan Mushkil al-Athaar, 7/40; Sa‘eed ibn Mansoor, as recorded inal-Tahqeeq fi Ahaadeeth al-Khilaafby Ibn al-Jawzi, 2/127.
Some of them narrated it as being the words of Hudhayfah, as if the isnaad ends with him (and not with the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)). They were:
‘Abd al-Razzaaq inal-Musannaf, 4/348; Sa‘eed ibn ‘Abd al-Rahmaan and Muhammad ibn Abi ‘Umar, reported by al-Faakihi inAkhbaar Makkah, 2/149
The more correct view – and Allah knows best – is the mawqoof report which goes back to Hudhayfah, i.e., he said these words on the basis of his own opinion and ijtihaad, and he did not hear it from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him). That is for the following reasons:
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This text is narrated as the words of Hudhayfah (may Allah be pleased with him) by another chain of narrators. It was narrated by Ibn Abi Shaybah inal-Musannaf(2/337) and also by ‘Abd al-Razzaaq (4/347) via Sufyaan al-Thawri from Waasil al-Ahdab from Ibraahem al-Nakha‘i who said: Hudhayfah came to ‘Abdullah and said: Is it not amazing that your people are observing i‘tikaaf between your house and the house of al-Ash‘ari? – Meaning in the mosque. ‘Abdullah said: Perhaps they got it right and you got it wrong! Hudhayfah said: Do you not know that there is no i‘tikaaf except in three mosques: al-Masjid al-Haraam [in Makkah], al-Masjid al-Aqsa [in Jerusalem] and Masjid Rasool-Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) [in Madinah]? There is no difference between observing i‘tikaaf in it or in this market of yours..
The report of Ibraaheem al-Nakha‘i from ‘Abd-Allah ibn Mas‘ood is acceptable to the scholars. See:Jaami‘ al-Tahseel, 141;Sharh al-‘Ilal, 1/294
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Differences in reports from Hudhayfah (may Allah be pleased with him). It was narrated from him via other chains of narrators that he said: There is no i‘tikaaf except in a mosque in which prayers are offered in congregation. And he did not limit it to the three mosques at all.
Ibn Hazm (may Allah have mercy on him) said inal-Muhalla(5/195), after mentioning this difference of opinion:
We say: It is uncertain whether this is from Hudhayfah or someone else, and something uncertain cannot be definitely attributed to the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him). If he (peace be upon him) had said, “There is no i‘tikaaf except in the three mosques”, Allah would have preserved it and there would have been no uncertainty concerning it. So we are certain that he (peace be upon him) never said it. End quote.
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The senior Sahaabah did something other than that. ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib (may Allah be pleased with him), ‘Aa’ishah and Ibn ‘Abbaas all issued fatwas stating that i‘tikaaf may be observed in any mosque in which prayers in congregation are held, and there is no proof that any of the Sahaabah differed from them concerning that. Rather this action (i.e., observing i‘tikaaf in the mosque) was well-known among them in all regions, with no objection to it, apart from what was narrated from Hudhayfah (may Allah be pleased with him). And Allah knows best. This was stated by Shaykh Sulaymaan al-‘Alwaan.
To sum up, it is not correct to attribute this hadeeth to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him). It is the individual opinion of Hudhayfah in which he differed from the rest of the Sahaabah (may Allah be pleased with them), as he also differed from the apparent meaning of the Holy Qur’aan which states that i‘tikaaf may be observed in any mosque, as Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):“while you are in I'tikâf (i.e. confining oneself in a mosque for prayers and invocations leaving the worldly activities) in the mosques”[al-Baqarah 2:187]. It is not appropriate to go against the apparent meaning of the Qur’aan and the actions of the majority of the Sahaabah on the basis of one mawqoof report concerning which there is some uncertainty, as it was not narrated by the authors ofSaheehsorSunans, and none of the earlier fuqaha’ issued any fatwa on that basis. Although some of the later scholars were of this view, their ijtihaad concerning this matter was incorrect.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said inal-Sharh al-Mumti‘(6/504):
It is Sunnah to observe i‘tikaaf in any mosque in the world, not only in the three mosques, as it was narrated from Hudhayfah ibn al-Yamaan (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no i‘tikaaf except in the three mosques.” This is a da‘eef (weak) hadeeth.
The fact that it is da‘eef is indicated by the fact that Ibn Mas‘ood (may Allah be pleased with him) doubted it and said: Perhaps they got it right and you got it wrong, or they remembered and you forgot. Thus he regarded this ruling and this report as unsound.
As for the ruling, it is to be found in the words: They got it right and you got it wrong. As for his doubting the report, it is reflected in his words: They remembered and you forgot. Human beings are prone to forgetfulness.
If this hadeeth is saheeh, then what it means is that there is no perfect i‘tikaaf, i.e., in other mosques apart from the three, just as prayers offered elsewhere are lower in status than prayers offered in the three mosques.
The fact that it is general in meaning and includes all mosques is indicated by the words of Allah (interpretation of the meaning):“while you are in I'tikâf (i.e. confining oneself in a mosque for prayers and invocations leaving the worldly activities) in the mosques”[al-Baqarah 2:187].
Moreover, how can this ruling in the Book of Allah be for the ummah that stretches from east to west, then we say that it is not valid except in the three mosques? It is far-fetched to suggest that the ruling is mentioned in general terms to the Muslim ummah then to say that this act of worship is not valid except in three mosques.
And Allah knows best.

Da'eef (weak) hadeeths, Dought & clear, - * Virtue of Praying in a Turban

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How sound is the hadeeth (narration), “Two rak‘ahs (units of prayer) offered in a turban are better than seventy rak‘ahs without a turban”?
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Praise be to Allah
This hadeeth was narrated from Jabir ibn ‘Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him) and says that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Two rak‘ahs offered in a turban are better than seventy rak‘ahs without a turban.”
It was narrated by ad-Daylami in Musnad al-Firdaws, 2/265, no. 3233. In al-Jami‘ al-Kabeer (no. 14441), as-Suyooti attributed it to Abu Na‘eem. But we could not find it.
Al-Mannawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Abu Na‘eem also narrated it from him – and it is through him and from him ad-Daylami received it – moreover its isnad (chain of narrators) includes Tariq ibn ‘Abd ar-Rahman, whom ath-Thahabi listed among the da‘eef (weak) narrators and said: an-Nasai said: He is not strong. It was narrated from Muhammad ibn ‘Ajlan, whom al-Bukhari listed among the da‘eef narrators. Al-Hakim said: He has a poor memory. End quote.
Fayd al-Qadeer, 4/49
Based on this, the hadeeth is da‘eef jiddan (very weak) and it is not permissible to narrate it without stating that it is da‘eef, so as to warn against it. Thus the scholars ruled that it is to be rejected and is not acceptable.
As-Sakhawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: It is not proven. End quote.
Al-Maqasid al-Hasanah, p.406
Al-Shaykh al-Albani (may Allah have mercy on him) said: (It is) mawdoo‘ (fabricated). End quote.
As-Silsilah ad-Da‘eefah, no. 128, 5699
It was quoted by Al-Shaykh Ahmad al-‘Amiri (d. 1143 AH) in his book al-Jadd al-Hatheeth fi Bayan ma laysa bi Hadeeth, p.126.
Shaykh Ibn Baz (may Allah have mercy on him) said: This is a report for which there is no basis; it is fabricated and falsely attributed to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). End quote
http://www.b inbaz.org.sa /mat/11590
Al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
This hadeeth is a false hadeeth; it is fabricated and falsely attributed to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). The turban – like any other article of clothing – is subject to people’s customs. If you are among people who customarily wear the turban, then wear it; if you are among people who do not customarily wear the turban – rather they wear the ghutrah (Arab headdress) or leave their heads uncovered, then do what they do.
And Allah knows best.